© 2017 by Rebecca Day

All rights reserved. This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in any form, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise—without prior written permission of the publisher.

The methods describe within this book are the author’s personal thoughts. They are not intended to be a definitive set of instructions for this project. You may discover there are other methods and materials to accomplish the same end result.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

SET THE ATMOSPHERE IN YOUR HOME

DEVELOPING SOLID MORNING AND EVENING ROUTINES

SCHEDULE HOUSEHOLD CHORES

SLAY YOUR TO-DO LIST

FIND THE JOY IN YOUR HOME

HOMEMAKING IS SURELY IN REALITY THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB IN THE WORLD.

C.S. Lewis

INTRODUCTION

Women have come such a long way. We were once seen as slaves to the kitchen whose only purpose was to give birth, raise the kids, cook, clean and be at their husband's beck and call. Now, we can get a higher education, careers, amazing opportunities, equality, all whilst balancing a baby on our hip. However, as amazing as all this is, I worry when I look at our upcoming generation of young girls. There are certain skills that are being lost in the fog of the corporate world.

I grew up with my mother and my grandmother, both of whom are wonderful women, but both of whom spoiled me. I never lifted a finger the entire time I lived with them. The washing machine was a foreign object to me, and the notion of doing anything other than chilling out in front of the TV or hanging out with my friends was just plain bizarre. I distinctly remember my grandmother bringing my lunch to me, and then taking the plate away once I had finished. Of course, at the time I thought it was fantastic, but I suffered for it later.

When it came to having my own home, I had no idea how to care for it. I had zero domestic skills. Neither my parents or my school had prepared me for real life. The education system does puzzle me... we have to learn algebraic equations and the periodic table, and yet traditional classes like home economics have died out. There was a sewing class at my school, which I did, in fact, take as it was the only domestic skill that I was interested in learning, but the class was made up of a mere five students. The cooking class was much the same, and the year after I left school both classes were taken off of the curriculum, as there just weren't enough interested students to make paying the teachers worthwhile.

So why is it that no one seems interested in learning how to clean or cook or make a home anymore? Why is it that so many parents choose to avoid teaching these lessons? I think the answer is because there is a negative connotation with the word 'homemaking'. We see 'homemakers' as little 50's housewives in their aprons. But just as the definition of 'woman' has evolved, I believe that the definition of the word 'homemaker' should also evolve.

We can still have careers, be successful, have our own points of view, vote, have a social life and have the same opportunities as men. But just because we have all of this, that doesn't mean we can neglect our roles as homemakers. Whether you have children or not, whether you're married or not, whether you work outside the home or not, if you have a home then you are a homemaker.

It is vitally important that you learn the skills you need to create a warm and welcoming home that your family looks forward to coming back to after a long day. It is also crucial that we teach the younger generation to do the same. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting we all start darning socks and patching up our trousers - Amazon Prime was invented for a reason - but skills like setting a cleaning schedule and writing an effective to-do list will always be important, no matter how the world progress or how the roles of wives and mothers evolve. Being a homemaker is not what it used to be, and it is not a bad thing. It is one of the most wonderful things you could do for your loved ones. So come on ladies, let's challenge the stereotype and get back to homemaking basics!

I BELIEVE YOUR ATMOSPHERE AND YOUR SURROUNDINGS CREATE A MIND STATE FOR YOU.

Theophilus London

SET THE ATMOSPHERE IN YOUR HOME

In case you weren't aware, I've been a homemaker since I was eighteen years old, when I first moved into my own little flat. In my mind, it was going to be endless partying and staying up however late I wanted to and no one telling me what to do. It was to begin with, but then the realities of having my own space began to creep up on me. I had no clue what I was doing. I was under the impression that it was simple... wash up your own dishes instead of mum doing it, set an alarm instead of mum waking me up, make sure there's SOMETHING in the fridge for dinner tonight (or at least make sure I know where the takeout menus are).

I learned as I went, and now I feel like I am finally in a position where I sorta kinda know what I am doing. "But I don't have four years to get to grips with things!" I hear you all cry. Not to worry. I am going to be jamming all the knowledge that took me all that time to learn and figure out into this book so that you don't have to!

Everything I tell you will have come from my own personal experience... and mistakes! They may sound obvious, but if they're ignored it can become VERY difficult to stay sane when you know your entire household is relying on you. So, let's talk about HOW to set the atmosphere in your home!

Everything you do as a homemaker will help to set the atmosphere in your home, for better or for worse! Our thoughts, speech and day to day actions can make a huge difference to how people feel when they enter your home. If you are stressed, odds are your family will feel stressed. If you are lounging around in your sweats with dirty dishes piled high, odds are your family will start showing signs of... *ahem*... slobbish behaviour. (I may or may not be speaking from experience there!) If you are happy and bubbly, guess what? It will rub off on your family.

Your attitude

Think about how you would like to be greeted when you walk through the front door. Would you feel particularly joyful if you came home to a grumpy husband who instantly started reeling off all the awful things that have happened today? Or would you prefer to come home to a smile and a cuddle and being asked: "How was YOUR day?" Whatever it is that would make you happy to be home, make sure you are doing the same for your family when they come home. Even if you've not had a particularly good day, save telling them about it for later in the evening. Even if they have done something to annoy you, confront them about it at another time. Give them a chance to relax and feel comfortable at home first.

A tidy house is a stress-free house

Okay, it may not be completely stress-free, but there is a definite correlation between clutter and high-stress levels. When there is loads of stuff everywhere, your brain has too much to process. Ever noticed you get more headaches when your house is a mess? It's SCIENCE people! Try to have a quick tidy before the family gets home. We're not talking a deep spring clean here. Just enough to make the house look presentable. Do the dishes, sweep up any large debris on the floor, put things back where they belong, make the bed. You know, the basics. Set yourself a timer for 20 minutes and see how much you can get done. You'd be surprised how motivating this is! And I must point out that you should expect your partner to do the same. If you are a working woman and they have a day off, make it clear that you expect to come home to a tidy house.

Add some nice touches

Light some candles, put on some chilled music, lay out the TV remotes and a drink for your partner when they come home. Little touches like this not only help to create a calming and relaxing atmosphere, but they also show some thought for the other people in your home. Just think how appreciative your partner will be if they know that you've really made an effort to welcome them home in a lovely heartfelt way.

Remember, you could ignore these steps, but if you want everyone in your home to feel happy (and I'm guessing that's why you're reading this book) then you really have to make the effort. Otherwise, your home will simply become a place to sleep, and we are aiming for so much more here!

WITH THE NEW DAY COMES NEW STRENGTH AND NEW THOUGHTS.

Eleanor Roosevelt

DEVELOPING SOLID MORNING AND EVENING ROUTINES

In this chapter, we're going to be talking about the importance of morning and evening routines! And of course, HOW to create routines that you will actually follow and use to achieve your goals. I could go on about this topic all day, but I'll try to keep it as concise as possible.

Consider your morning and evening routines as the foundation for a successful day! They are so important because they will:

·       Help you to make the most out of the hours that can easily get lost in the morning and evening.

·       Leave you with more free time to relax.

·       Help you to get organised and prepared for the day.

·       Enable you to get things done that you previously didn't think you had time for.

·       Set you up for a positive day.

·       Allow you to focus on looking after YOU as well as everyone else in your household.

·       Make you feel super duper awesome!

So, my lovely homemaking grasshopper, today's task is to create your morning and evening routines.

First off, figure out how much time you have in the morning. What time do you need to be out of the house and what time can you realistically get up? Once you have a rough idea of how much time you have, start listing off some things you would love to get done in the morning. Think about things that will feed your soul and make you feel ready to face the day head on. If you're stuck for ideas you could choose:

·       Get in some light exercise

·       Make your bed

·       Drink a cup of coffee

·       Write in your journal

·       Go for a walk or run

·       Eat a nutritious breakfast

·       Read your bible

·       Write your to do list

·       Have a shower

·       Do some yoga

·       Meditate

·       Take your multi-vitamins

·       Write out things you are grateful for

·       Read a chapter of a book

·       Check the news

·       Do a quick tidy

·       Get dressed in something that makes you feel good

·       Have morning snuggles with the kids

As tempting as it is to include ALL OF THE THINGS on your list, I would recommend just sticking to five or six things to begin with - you can always add in more later. Now work out how long each of those things will take to complete, and add in a twenty minute buffer just in case you are hit with surprises like "Mamaaaaaaaaaaa.... I forgot how to eat breakfast!!!"

Once you've figured out what you want to do write it down somewhere you can see it (your phone works fine, but I have mine pinned up on the fridge!) and try it for 30 days. You'd be surprised how much you can actually get done in the early hours, especially if you keep to a consistent schedule.

Now let's look at your evening routine.

What can you do the night before that will make your mornings easier? You may want to try laying out your clothes for the following day, packing lunch boxes and handbags or setting out breakfast. Getting things done the night before means that when you wake up you aren't instantly feeling stressed out at the thought of all the things that need to be achieved in order to send everybody off to school or work.

Go about this in the same way you did your morning routine. Work out what time you need to go to bed in order to have a decent night's sleep and count backwards to figure out your start time. Pick out 5 or 6 things you want to get done, and ensure at least two of them are things that will help you to wind down and relax ready for bedtime. You could include:

·       Have a hot cup of chamomile tea

·       Read a book

·       Have a bath

·       Get your inbox down to zero

·       Turn off electronics

·       Snuggle with your partner

·       Write tomorrow's to do list

·       Reflect on your days' successes

Remember - What you decide on today is not set in stone. Routines will change as you enter different seasons of life. I tend to look over my routines once a month to see if any changes are in order. You don't have to stick to it perfectly, just use it as a guide to make sure you are setting yourself up for success.

Are you feeling better now that you have a plan to make the most of those morning and evening hours? After all, how are you meant to look after your family when you have no time to look after yourself?

THE BEST WAY TO FIND YOURSELF, IS TO LOSE YOURSELF IN THE SERVICE OF OTHERS.

Ghandi

SCHEDULE HOUSEHOLD CHORES

Are you ready to take your homemaking to the next level? Go on! Say "YES!" out loud!

The lesson we're going to be talking about in this chapter is essential to developing good habits (which you need to have if you want to be an amazing homemaker) and preventing yourself from getting overwhelmed. By figuring out a schedule for household chores that works for you and your family, you will be able to keep on top of things without feeling like you are constantly cleaning.

Creating a schedule that you will stick to will ensure that the chores don't pile up. Plus, you'll never have to endure that horrible sickening feeling you get when someone announces they are going to be visiting in TWENTY MINUTES and your place looks like a tip. (I've been there SO many times over the years - blegh!)

I'd suggest creating a daily, weekly and monthly schedule for your household chores, as well as keeping a running list of big projects that need doing around the house. My mantra has always been that if you do a little bit of cleaning each and every day, you will barely have anything to do when it comes to 'deep clean' day. Things you will want to consider when creating your cleaning schedules are:

Consider how much time you have.

It is tempting to say you are going to do bathrooms every single wednesday and the kitchen every single friday, but can you really commit to that? I know for me personally, working a full time job with stupid hours means that I can't commit to cleaning on particular days. Instead, I dedicate the first of my two days off to getting the deep cleaning done. Then I spend just twenty minutes each day to doing some light cleaning such as wiping surfaces, running the hoover round and dusting so that when my deep cleaning day rolls around I don't have that much to do.

Think about little things you can do daily.

This leads on from the last tip, but doing a little bit each day is SO much better than trying to clean the whole house in one go. You'd be surprised how much difference just twenty minutes a day can make. In that time you can make the beds, wipe down counter tops, pop a little bleach down the toilet, run the hoover round and dust any big eye-sores. You're looking for quick and easy tasks that will make your life a whole lot easier later on, so things like making sure dishes are washed before you go to bed so you're not waking up to them, and getting in a load of laundry each day so it doesn't build up can really help. You won't feel like you're cleaning all day and every day, because they're small and achievable chores.

Decide which chores can wait.

You will drive yourself crazy if you try to get EVERYTHING done. Trust me when I say you will never get everything done. There will always be another mess or another job that needs doing. I don't say this to discourage you. I say this to help you ease up on yourself. Choose what chores can be done monthly (cleaning windows is my big one - I couldn't stand doing that weekly!) or even less than monthly. If you've got something on your list like repainting the doors, this doesn't need to be done regularly. Stick it on your big projects list and just work your way through it when you get the time. You don't have to have a spotless house all of the time. My standard is always 'If I'm happy to have guests round then it's good enough'.

Have you considered de-cluttering?

Think about it, if you have less stuff, there's less stuff to clean! De-cluttering can not only be a really satisfying and freeing activity, but it can also reduce your cleaning time dramatically. When buying new things for the home think to yourself... 'Do I truly love this?' , 'Is there somewhere for it to go?' and 'Am I happy to clean it regularly?'. If the answer is no to any of these, STEP AWAY FROM THE SHINIES! You'll thank yourself later.

Bottom line - You have to clean. There is no getting away from it. But you don't have to let it become this big overwhelming task. Little things like making sure the dishes are all washed up before you go to bed and staying on top of the laundry will help you to feel in control, and setting yourself kinder deadlines for getting bigger cleaning tasks done will help keep you motivated.

And now, go get yourself a big ol' bar of chocolate and enjoy it guilt-free. You've earned it.

AMATEURS SIT AND WAIT FOR INSPIRATION, THE REST OF US JUST GET UP AND GO TO WORK.

Stephen King

SLAY YOUR TO-DO LIST

I was writing my to-do list wrong for way too long. Even after hearing tips and advice from all kinds of women who were doing it right, I still did it wrong for FOUR years!

Don't be like me. Don't fall into the traps that I fell into. Please.

I know writing a to-do list may sound like a simple task... you figure out what you need to get done, you right it down... done. But trust me when I say there is a special kind of technique that goes into writing a to-do list that will actually help you get achieve your goals, and because I'm just that nice, I'm going to share that technique with you.

Firstly, let's cover why you should have a to-do list. Writing a to-do list forces us to set some concrete goals for the day and helps us to remember important information. For a long, long time I just tried to remember what needed to be done in my head. I'd think I was doing fine, then just as I was snuggling down into bed at the end of a long day... "Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhh! I forgot to pick up my nanna from the hairdressers!" Poor nanna was a little chilly when I got to her. It also helps with structuring your day, since you're not just wandering from one task to the next, and there's little in this world more satisfying than checking off your list.

Where to write your to-do list

The short answer is, wherever you want! As long as it is somewhere you will be able to easily refer back to in order to check things off as you go. You may want to jot tasks down in your phone (Evernote has a great list tool that actually provides you with clickable checkboxes), or you may want to go more traditional like me and take pen to paper. You can even scribble on the bathroom mirror with lipstick for all I care! Just make sure it works for you.

Be kind to yourself

I've said it once, I'll say it again. be kind to yourself! In fact, let me just say it one more time. Be KIND to yourself! I know there are a million and one things you need / want to get done, but you're not helping anyone by writing out a to-do list that trails on the floor because it's so long. Limit yourself to just 5 to-dos per day. Even if you think you have more than five things to do, limit yourself to just those five. Not only does this stop you from hating yourself at the end of the day when you realise you've only made a tiny dent in your list, but it also forces you to prioritise what really needs to be done. You can always add more items if you happen to complete your list, but only start out with five. I mean it!

Make another list

This kind of leads on from the last point. Since you're only writing down a maximum of five to-do's per day (because you ARE doing that, right?) it can be helpful to have a separate list that acts as a kind of brain dump. I call it a 'Master projects list' and it is basically a list of stuff that does need to get done at some point, but it doesn't need to be done today. When I come to writing my daily to-do list, I can pick something off of this master list as one of my five to-dos. That way I am slowly but surely working my way through it, which is very satisfying.

Prioritise

You've already prioritised by setting yourself just five to-do's (you ARE doing that, aren't you?) but now we're going to take it a step further. Look over your five goals and number them in order of priority. Number one is the goal that is the most important to complete. Number five is the least important. This gives you a kind of action plan for your day. Rather than being overwhelmed and not knowing where to start, you know that the first thing you need to get done is the thing you wrote a number one next to. Once that is complete, you can move onto number two.

Small and specific beats... large and unspecific

Large goals such as 'work on masterpiece novel' are intimidating, so break it down into smaller more achievable goals. Instead of saying 'work on masterpiece novel' you could say 'write chapter seven' or 'write 300 words'. This gives you a definite goal to work towards that doesn't make you cower into your sofa.

So, you know how to write a totally kick-butt to-do list, all that's left to do is to actually write it. Pick a time each day that you will commit to writing your list. First thing in the morning works well, though I've been finding great success in writing tomorrow's list each evening. It kind of frees my mind of all the junk that's running around in it and lets me woosah.

Now hop to it like a fluffy cotton tailed bunny rabbit!

THE ACHE FOR HOME LIVES IN ALL OF US. THE SAFE PLACE WHERE WE CAN GO AS WE ARE AND NOT BE QUESTIONED.

Maya Angelou

FIND THE JOY IN YOUR HOME

Do you know what I hate? Wasting time. I've only got twenty-four hours in my day. I've got way more important things to do than waste time. And if you don't implement this tip into your life, that's exactly what reading the previous five chapters will have been... a big fat waste of time! Because you could have the very best morning routine and cleaning schedule in the entire world, but if you can't find the joy in your home it really won't matter.

At this time last year I was pulling my hair out (and getting super overwhelmed!) trying to be the perfect homemaker. News flash - there is no such thing as a perfect homemaker! All we can do is our very best, and be joyful in doing it. I guarantee your husband or partner would prefer a slightly messy house and a happy wife over a spotlessly clean house and a miserable wife.

As I said, I'm not perfect, and there are days when I get down about the monotony of running a home... washing the same dishes over and over, preparing yet another dinner, wiping my baby's squishy bottom only for it to get dirtied again as soon as a clean nappy is on. The saying is true, a mother's work is never done. One mess is tidied up while fifteen other messes are being made behind me. Though I try not to let it, it can get to me, and I'll bet my bottom dollar that I'm not alone! So how can we stay joyful when it all starts to get a little bit too much? It's simple really, we just have to remember why we are doing it.

Remember to be grateful

You are alive. Your partner and your kids are alive. Not only that but you are lucky enough to live in a part of the world where you have access to clean running water, where you have a roof over your head, where you have central heating and gas, where you have a wardrobe full of clothes. Take a moment each morning to reflect on all the things you are grateful for. Next time you don't want to do the dishes, remind yourself to be grateful for the food that has just been served up on them.

Keep things in perspective

Remember that all the little things you do each day - changing nappies, kissing boo boo's, reading storybooks, washing clothes - are all part of a much bigger picture. You are building a family. You are raising little people. Every single thing you do matters more deeply than you could ever imagine.

Take a break

Everyone needs rest, and that includes you superwoman! Remember to reward yourself for being awesome by taking a bubble bath or getting your nails done. Even something small like taking ten minutes to curl up on the sofa with a cup of tea can do wonders for the soul.

Create a family mission statement

I can be really helpful to write down your 'why' in a family mission statement. Think about what sort of a household you want to run, and the morals and ethics that your family believes in. Include all of the grand visions you have for your household. Maybe you want to get better at hospitality, or maybe you want to cook from scratch more? Each person's mission statement will look different. You want to mould it to the type of family you are. When you find yourself questioning why you are doing it all, go back and read your family mission statement. It will help you to focus on the long term gain and remind you of your value. Reminding yourself of your vision for your home can be wonderfully refreshing.

Remember what I said in the first chapter? Your attitude has a tremendous impact on the atmosphere in your home. You can make it a stressful, depressing place full of discouragement, or you can choose to make it a calm place full of warmth and rest. It's up to you!

Friend, I'm going to be honest with you. Running a successful home is hard work. It takes passion, persistence and will power. But it is so worth it.  I want to help you reach the goals you have for your home by giving you all the knowledge I wish I had years ago and sharing with you the strategies that I spent countless days figuring out.

You should be proud of yourself for choosing to read this book and others like it. Some people these days don't think it's worth the hassle, but they have no idea how powerful being a homemaker actually is. You have taken the first steps to making your home a truly wonderful place! Becoming an amazing homemaker is going to take time, determination, persistence and passion (I'm still working on it!) but it is completely possible, and you can do it one step and a time.

Here's a quick recap of the key points we've gone over in this book:

·       Your attitude will set the atmosphere in your home.

·       Greet your family the way YOU would want to be greeted.

·       Taking time to focus on yourself first thing in the morning will help you to face the day like a boss.

·       Do what you can to prepare things like packed lunches, outfits and bags the night before.

·       Cleaning a little bit each day will reduce overwhelm.

·       Certain chores can wait - you don't have to feel guilty if your house isn't spotless 100% of the time!

·       De-clutter regularly. Less stuff = less cleaning.

·       Keep your to-do list short and prioritise what needs doing first.

·       When things get too much, remember to be grateful for what you have.

·       Keep the big picture in mind. The little things you do every day may not seem important, but they are! You are shaping a family which is one of the most important jobs you could ever have.

Remember, we all feel overwhelmed sometimes, but the important thing is to just take things one step at a time. Speaking from experience, having a home that you are proud of and being able to actually wholeheartedly enjoy your homemaking every day improves your quality of life SO much!

Well then you homemaking bundle of joy, I truly hope that you have enjoyed this book and have found it to be both helpful and valuable! You are now equipped to start building the home that you want for your family. Now make me proud and KICK SOME HOMEMAKING BUTT!

You can do it.

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION

SET THE ATMOSPHERE IN YOUR HOME

DEVELOPING SOLID MORNING AND EVENING ROUTINES

SCHEDULE HOUSEHOLD CHORES

SLAY YOUR TO-DO LIST

FIND THE JOY IN YOUR HOME