contents

Copyright

Acknowledgements

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Epilogue

Excerpt from Wake Me When the Sun Goes Down,

Angel of Mercy

Fallen [1]

Lisa Olsen

(2011)

Rating: ★★★★☆

Tags: angels and demons

angels and demonsttt

Author Lisa Olsen gives us a sympathetic character in Mercy Renault.  Her quirky voice leads us through the twists and turns as Mercy tries to find her footing, merging her ordinary life with her newfound angelic abilities.  Samael, the introverted fallen angel who accidentally gives Mercy some of his power, is frustratingly literal-minded and little help in her quest to find out what she is.  Sexy bad boy Adam adds just the right amount of friction to her already complicated life and I wasn't sure if she should kiss him or smack him upside the head.  You might be tempted to cry at the end, but only because you've been so caught up in what comes next; it's a crime that the story is over.   The first in a series, we can only hope that the sequel ties up some of the burning questions we're left with.

Product Description

When Mercy wakes up in the hospital after a brutal stabbing, she has little recollection of the attack; only the blurred memories of a mysterious stranger with piercing blue eyes that haunts her dreams. After spotting the same man, that only she can see, Mercy follows him home, brazenly confronting him. (kids at home, never do that!) Her savior turns out to be less than human, or is it more?

Samael is a fallen angel, bound to the Earth and living out his life among humans but apart from them. Unwilling to let an innocent die, Sam bestowed some of his Grace to Mercy, healing her wounds and imbuing her with some of his angelic powers.  Thrust into a world within her own where angels and demons coexist unseen by mortals, Mercy must learn to accept the fact that she is no longer strictly human; she is something new. Complicating things is Adamiel, the reckless fallen angel who is Sam's enigmatic friend. Equal parts information and aggravation, Sam and Adam help Mercy acclimate to her new life.  But now Mercy's eyes are opened to a whole new world beyond the human realm... and their eyes are opened to her.

Angel of Mercy

By

Lisa Olsen

Copyright © 2011 Lisa Olsen, all rights reserved.

This book is sold subject to the conditions that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out, copied, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any other format or changed in any way, including the author’s name and title, and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

This is a work of fiction.  Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination, or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.  The use of any real person, company or product names are for literary effect only and used without permission.  The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for third-party websites or their content.

Visit the author’s website at http://www.lisaolsen.net

Acknowledgements

Many thanks to my mother Marilyn for fostering a love of reading and writing at an early age and for providing equal parts editing and cheerleading skills.  A shout out to T for introducing me to National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) which forced me to get past my inner editor and actually finish a book for once.  Thanks to my kids, Emily and Brynna for learning how to stand there patiently until I finished a train of thought and my fingers stilled before interrupting me to ask who got to sleep with the cat that night.

I would especially like to thank my husband James for providing a sounding board at every turn and not letting me give up when I got stuck.  I am in awe of your Google skills and proficiency with Photoshop, you are a man in full.

Chapter One

Have you ever been in so much pain it ceases to have any meaning?  So much pain you can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t even scream?  So much pain your brain applies a filter to it, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to survive it with your mind intact?  Cast adrift on an ocean of pain, my body tossed and turned helplessly, buffeted by forces beyond my control.  It sounds almost poetic, doesn’t it?  But at the time I prayed for death, anything to ease that white hot agony.

I wish I could say there was a bright white light waiting for me at the end of a glowing tunnel.  In reality, I was so focused on the misery, there could’ve been a three ring circus around me and I wouldn’t have noticed.  How long I hovered there I never knew, time ceased to have all meaning.

But then something happened.

A soft golden light wrapped around my body, and a feeling of warmth and comfort descended over me.  At first I thought that was finally it. I was gonna die, and I’m not gonna lie, there was a measure of relief in that realization.  Relaxing, I basked in that warm glow, soaking it up like the summer sun after the chill of winter.  Only instead of the pain fading away and being carried off into the great beyond it grew worse, something I hadn’t thought possible.

I was still reeling from that new torture when the pain faded and disappeared so suddenly, I could feel the echo of it for long heartbeats after it was gone.  Drawing in my first unlabored breath, my eyelids fluttered open, vision blurry in the uncertain light as I tried to focus.

Dimly, my mind registered the fact that a man stood over me, his hands lightly pressed to my abdomen.  Before I could open my mouth to ask who he was and why exactly he was touching me, he looked up and our eyes locked.  Neither one of us spoke, though I did feel his hands pull away swiftly.  The man stared down at me with an expression of surprise mingled with fascination, as though I was the most interesting thing he’d ever seen before.  I have to say, he was pretty captivating as well.

His eyes were the most vivid shade of blue - the kind you only see in magazine ads for contact lenses or on movie stars.  They practically glowed in the muted light, and a golden nimbus surrounded him, flickering and crackling like a bug zapper.   My lips parted to speak, but a wave of dizziness washed over me, making the room dip and sway.  I swear my eyes only closed for a second, and when I opened them again, he was gone.  Puzzling over whether or not any of it was real, I sank back into sweet oblivion, my sleep restful and devoid of pain.

* * *

The next thing I became aware of was the horrible taste in my mouth, like I’d been giving my cat, Mimsy a tongue bath (not something I’m into by the way, blecch).  Speaking of tongues, mine felt thick and clumsy, and it was difficult to swallow.  Automatically, my hand shot out for the water bottle I keep on the bedside table, but it came up empty, instead smacking against something hard and metallic.  I tentatively cracked an eye open, brows knitting together as it sank into my mental fog - I wasn’t in my bedroom.

In fact, I wasn’t at home at all.

“Wha…?”  The trappings of a hospital room were unmistakable, even without the equipment.  The automatic bed was a dead giveaway, let alone the IV sticking out of my arm.  The nurse call button was nowhere in sight, nor was there any sign of activity in the darkened room.   I was in the hospital, I just had no idea why or how I’d gotten there.

Automatically my mind started to go over what I did know.  My name is Merceline Renault, though everybody calls me Mercy (except for my mother), and I worked at a nightclub named Eden in Seattle as a bartender.  Not the most glamorous job, I know, but I liked having my days free.  Plus, it’s fast paced, the club plays great music, and the tips are fantastic on the weekends.  Satisfied that I seemed to remember my phone number, my ABC’s and more than I cared to admit of the lyrics to every musical ever made, I turned my attention back to my surroundings.

“Hello?” I called out, but it made little more than a croak from my parched throat.  The monitor by my side beeped softly and I squinted at the display, noting the steady climb in my pulse.  110, 119, 127, 134… That couldn’t be good…

A harried nurse came in, eyes on the equipment and completely ignoring me, frowning as she caught sight of the display.

“Hey…”  My voice was stronger, but I still sounded like the crypt keeper version of my normal speaking voice.

“Sweet Jesus!”  The nurse jumped, clearly not expecting me to be awake even though the monitors were going crazy.  “When did you wake up?” she blinked.  Her hair was the bright ginger of a natural redhead.  A color I had tried and failed to duplicate over the years before deciding to accept my own deep, chestnut tresses.   She looked even paler than me, which was hard to do.  My devotion to sunscreen was legendary, even in the overcast Seattle weather, but at least I’d been spared the freckles covering her exposed skin.

I jumped because she jumped, and the monitor beeped its annoyance over the corresponding rise in my pulse.  My hand rose instinctively to my chest, pulling at the IV sticking out of my wrist, and the air sucked through my teeth at the sting.  “Have some water?”  I gave her a pleading look, unable to phrase the request any more eloquently with the burning in my throat.

“Oh… yes, I’ll be right back.”  Right back turned out to be a relative term as it was easily a few minutes before she returned, a small plastic cup of ice chips in hand.  “I can give you one teaspoon of ice chips right now, but you’ll have to wait for the doctor before anything else.”  A rueful smile was given along with the spoonful of ice.

I savored the cooling relief as the ice rapidly melted, swallowing easier.  “Thank you,” I smiled, grateful to hear my voice start to sound a little stronger, more like myself.

“You’re welcome.” The nurse smiled back, picking up her touchpad, fingers flying over the surface to enter my vital statistics.  “I’m sorry if I scared you before.  We weren’t expecting you to wake up for quite some time.”

“S’okay,” I waved off her concern. “I wasn’t expecting to wake up here at all,” I admitted.

“I’ve put in a request to let Dr. Michaelson know you’re awake though, and she should be in fairly soon to check up on you.  In the meantime, how are you feeling?  Any dizziness or nausea?” she paused expectantly.

She said that like I was supposed to know who Dr. Michaelson was, but I decided to nod and smile, not wanting to admit that bit of ignorance.  Instead I gave a longing look towards the plastic cup of ice chips.  Somehow I had the feeling even though she seemed friendly enough, the nurse wouldn’t be likely to break her own rules right after she finished explaining them.

“Um no, not dizziness exactly, just a little out of it I guess.”  A bit of an understatement; I felt like I’d been woken up after a double shift at the club with only a couple hours of sleep.

“Good, that’s good,” the nurse nodded absently, setting down the pad to take my blood pressure next.  “Try to be still and breathe regularly.”

Did I look like I’d been about to jump up and do the Macarena?  Lying there obediently, I began to notice a pale, dusky rose aura surrounding her, standing out in the dim lighting.  At least, it’s what I always thought an aura would look like, I’d never seen one before.  At first I chalked it up to tired eyes, but after a surreptitious rub I wasn’t so sure.

“Your blood pressure looks good, what about your pain level?  How would you rate it on a scale of one to ten?” she asked.

It took me a minute to realize she’d asked a question. I was too distracted by the pretty color, trying to see if it looked any different if I closed one eye or the other, or if blinking had any effect.  Even then it took some thought to process what she said.  Should I be in pain?  Shifting in the bed, I felt tired and sore, but nothing horrible.  “It’s not too bad, maybe a one or two.  Where am I?”  It was time for some questions of my own.

The nurse nodded again and entered the data into her pad.   “The ICU of Northwest Hospital,” she answered readily.

My brows climbed at the mention of the Intensive Care Unit.  Just how bad off was I?  “How long have I been here?”

“A few days.  You were brought in on Saturday night and went into emergency surgery.”  The nurse’s face grew sympathetic as if she pitied me for the gaps in my memory.

“A few days?  What day is it now?  Wait, what kind of surgery?”  All at once a dozen questions leapt to mind, each clamoring to be answered.

The nurse’s expression grew shuttered, teeth worrying at her bottom lip.  “You know… I should really let the doctor come and talk to you.”  A step was taken towards the door.

“Wait…”  Desperately my eyes scanned the nurse’s scrubs for a nametag and spied the badge hanging around her neck.  “Rachel…” I tried a friendly smile.  “I can appreciate you’re not supposed to discuss my medical condition, but you gotta cut me a break here, okay?  The last thing I remember, I was at work Saturday night and the next thing I know I’m in the ICU with tubes hanging out of my arm and up my nose.”

Indecision warred on Rachel’s features, and she hovered indecisively at the bedside.  “That’s really all you remember?”

Now I felt bad for making it sound like I was an amnesia case.  “I remember who I am and all that good stuff,” I admitted readily.  “I remember stepping out into the alley behind the club.  It was my turn to take out the garbage and there was…”  My focus shifted as it started to come back to me, eyes staring off into space as I pictured it.   I remembered the scuffle between the two men, one of them had a knife… He’d been waling on the man in the long, brown coat who hadn’t defended himself at all.  He just stood there, a dazed expression on his face, even when the knife plunged into his side.

“He stabbed him…” I murmured, my face twisting with emotion as I saw it again in my mind.  “And I screamed… I threw the garbage can at him to make him stop, but he batted it aside… He…” I swallowed as I remembered him stalking towards me, the bloodied knife glinting in the poor light.  He must have attacked me then, though I didn’t remember it specifically or any of the pain.  “I’m a little fuzzy on the details after that.  Who brought me in, do you know?”

Rachel picked up the datapad, paging through the records.  “Um, you came in via ambulance, transported from… Second Avenue and South Washington Street, is that where you work?”

I nodded, trying to cast my mind back again but the fog was still firmly in place, making it difficult to wade though.  The image came unbidden of the man in the long coat, the same man I’d seen in my hospital room with crystalline blue eyes.  Staring down at me, his expression a mixture of sadness and awe, and something I couldn’t quite define.  “Have I had any visitors?” I asked suddenly, wondering if she had a record of who he was.

“No, we don’t allow visitors in the ICU.  Though I think you had a couple of people waiting around when you were first brought in.  I didn’t talk to them.”

“There wasn’t a guy in here earlier?”  A frown tugged at my lips.  Had it all been a dream?  With the way my day was shaping up, I wouldn’t have been too surprised.

“Nooo, I don’t think so.  Unless you mean during the dayshift? I think Bryan was working.”

A nurse.  He hadn’t looked like a nurse.  I decided it wasn’t important in the end, my mind already switching tacks.  “Can I call my brother?  Let him know I’m alright?”

A shake of the head was given.  “Sorry, there aren’t any phones in here, but I can call him for you if you like,” Rachel offered.  “You’ll probably be moved to a regular room soon though if that’s any consolation.”

“Yeah, could you?  I’d really appreciate it.”  I gave Matty’s phone number to the helpful nurse, hoping he remembered to pay his cell phone bill that month or I’d have to call my mom.  And I really didn’t want to call my mom.

Hating hospitals on general principle, I couldn’t wait to be moved.  The sooner they gave me the green light to get out of intensive care, the closer I’d be to getting out of the hospital altogether.  As it was, I’d probably end up seriously in debt if I’d already been there for a few days and had emergency surgery.   The health insurance offered by the club wasn’t exactly comprehensive, but it was better than nothing.  Besides, they couldn’t squeeze blood from a stone. I had few assets they could try to seize as collateral.  Hell, they were welcome to try and take my sometimes running car, it was probably cheaper to take the bus than foot the repair bills anyway.

“You should try and get some rest now.  We’ll send the doctor in as soon as she gets here, alright?” Rachel smiled, picking up the datapad.  Tucking it under her arm, she paused by the foot of the bed, her expression inscrutable.

I stared back, waiting for her to say something, but she just stood there.  “What is it?  Is something wrong?” I couldn’t help but ask as she lingered.

“No, I’m just… surprised to see you awake and doing so well.  I’m glad you came out of it,” she said simply.  Turning on her heel, she left without another word.

“Yeah… doing so well.”  A long drawn out breath left my body as my head fell to one side, eyes growing heavy again.

Chapter Two

Dr. Michaelson proved to be somewhat of a disappointment.  The brusque woman virtually ignored my questions in favor of asking her own.  I was able to gather that I’d been brought in after a knife wound to my abdomen and I only barely survived the surgery.  The doctor seemed almost peeved that I woke when I did.  She was unable to account for my sudden improvement, and I wasn’t sure if I should be amused or irritated by her annoyance.  After all, I was the one lying in the hospital bed, shouldn’t she be happy I was getting better?  Either way she still got her paycheck, right?

From the sound of things, I took a turn for the worse after the surgery and infection set in, only the doctor used a lot of incomprehensible words to describe it.  The gist was, she really hadn’t expected me to pull through it at all.  A sobering thought.

The faint glow around people was still there, and I noted with interest that there were different colors associated with different people.  I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what the color schemes meant though.  The doctor noted the anomaly with a scowl, ordering a battery of vision tests to be conducted the next morning, which would probably cost me another month’s wages.

Maybe it was because most of her patients were unconscious the majority of the time, but the surgeon’s bedside manner definitely left something to be desired.  Her color was a deep orange with flecks of green in it, and I couldn’t help but think the green bits weren’t very nice.

The only bright spot on the horizon was Dr. Michaelson agreed I could move to a regular room if I didn’t take a turn for the worse during the course of the night.  After that I settled into a boring routine as everyone lost their interest in my miraculous recovery and went back to business as usual.

Rachel came back to check up on me at regular intervals until the dayshift came on, and I was disappointed to find out Bryan the nurse was not the man I remembered with the piercing blue eyes (though his aura was a nice peaceful blue).  By the time morning came along, I felt decidedly restless and eager for a change, even if change only meant a new room.

Finally, I found myself in a semi-private room, happy to find I had no roommate as of yet.  And there was actually a phone and a television in the room, thank God for small pleasures!  Idly I wondered where my cell phone was.  Still in my purse in the back room at the club?  Or in storage somewhere in the hospital?  Nobody seemed to have the answer to that one, and after a while I stopped asking.

The food police still wouldn’t allow me any solid foods and only a little water, no matter how much I begged or cajoled.  Even my most winsome smile hadn’t gotten through to Bryan on that account and I started to wonder if his ‘peaceful’ blue aura didn’t mask a slightly masochistic streak.

I was about to ring for a refill on my ice chips when the door swung open.  “Ah, my hero,” I grinned, expecting to see Bryan with his plastic cup.  Instead, a guy in a dark blue suit entered, shutting the door firmly behind him.  He was of average height, average build, average looks, his dark hair slightly disheveled despite the early hour.  In fact, there was nothing remarkable about him.  Until he smiled, and a light of amusement came into his deep brown eyes and I figured he’d heard my remark.  The smile made him much more appealing, cute even, and I smiled back in response.

“I haven’t been called anybody’s hero in at least… a week,” he grinned, moving to stand by my bedside where I could see him better.  His aura was a deep indigo, and I found myself distracted by it for a moment, wondering what it meant.

“Sorry, I thought you were someone else,” I admitted with a sheepish grin.

“Give me a chance, I just got here.”  His grin widened before sharp eyes gave me the once over.  “You don’t look that bad at all,” he considered aloud, as though he found the thought surprising.

“Do you always begin conversations that way?” I raised a brow, the corner of my mouth quirking into an almost smile at the way he’d said it.  As though he’d gotten something for Christmas he hadn’t asked for.

A tinge of color washed up the side of his neck and I could see he hadn’t realized how it sounded.  “Sorry, I meant they told me yesterday you were at death’s door, but you look… good, better than good even.”

“At death’s door… not exactly something a girl likes to hear.”  No wonder the nurse had been surprised when I’d woken up.  Though ‘better than good’ sounded promising.  “Actually I feel kind of great, all things considered.”  It was true, once the grogginess wore off and I’d gotten a few hours of sleep, I felt more restless than anything else, tired of lying in bed.  I was still too chicken to lift the bandages and take a peek at the surgery scars though.  There went my summer bikini season…

“Those must be some great drugs they’ve got you on,” he muttered, drawing out a small notepad and pen from his pocket.  “I’m Detective Benjamin Gates, with the Seattle Police.  I’d like to ask you a few questions if you don’t mind.”

“Ah… the cops.”  He didn’t look much like a cop in my opinion, something about his eyes were too gentle.  Then again my experience with the police was blessedly limited.  “Sure, go ahead.”  It was better than what was on TV anyway.

“Merceline Renault, that’s an unusual name. French?”

I nodded, it wasn’t anything I hadn’t heard before.  “That’s what they tell me, though none of my relatives ever seemed particularly French to me.  Most of them live in California.” A half shrug was given.  “You can call me Mercy, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, Mercy.”  He smiled again and I felt myself smiling back like a fool.  All at once it occurred to me I hadn’t showered or brushed my teeth in a few days, and my lips snapped shut.  Had he already gotten a wave of dragon breath?  My good hand snuck up to surreptitiously comb through the tangle of my hair, tucking it away behind my ear.

Whatever my state, Detective Gates didn’t seem to notice or care.  Instead, he plunged ahead with his line of questioning.  “I’m sure you can guess why I’m here, we’d like to catch the guy that did this to you.  What can you tell me about that night?”

“The details are sketchy, but I’ll do my best.”  I let out a deep breath, head falling back against the pillow as I cast my mind back.  “I went out back to take out the garbage, it was my turn.”

“This is behind Eden, the nightclub?” Gates interrupted, already scribbling into his notebook.

“Yeah, I’m a bartender there,” I nodded.  “It was late.  We were almost ready to close, so I was out in the alley by the dumpsters and that’s when I saw the guys fighting.  Well, sort of fighting, it was more like one guy attacking the other.  He had a knife and I saw him stab the other one, so I yelled and shoved the garbage can at him.”

“There was another guy there?”  The detective’s brows drew together over that tidbit of information and I could tell it was news to him.  “That wasn’t very nice of him, not sticking around after you got stabbed,” he muttered darkly.  “Sorry, please continue.  What do you remember about the man with the knife?”

“It was dark, but he had brown hair.  A little shaggy and long around the ears, and he was unshaven.  Not a beard exactly, just scruffy.  Dark eyes I think, but I could be wrong about that, they were…” I swallowed, recalling the expression in his eyes.  They’d been full of rage and a light of excitement when I stepped into that alleyway, like I’d given him a gift.  “They were dark,” I repeated lamely, not sure how to articulate it any better than that, but the Detective nodded encouragingly.

“He was tall, not as tall as the other man but taller than me, which isn’t hard to do.”  I stand at just under five feet five inches, with a slender build, and I’d lost every fight I’d ever been in with my younger brother Matthias.  I really had no business engaging a man with a knife like that.

“I guess I wasn’t thinking, because instead of running for help I got it into my head I needed to stop him.  He’d already stabbed the other man, and I worried he might kill him before help could come.  But as soon as he saw me…” I swallowed again, wishing for Bryan and his ice chips.  “He forgot all about the other guy and came after me.”  His face loomed large in my memory, the smile curving his lips as he struck out with the knife.

Detective Gates cleared his throat, drawing me out of my reverie.  “I’m sorry to dredge up such painful memories,” he said gently, and I gave him a faint smile.

“It’s okay. It’s my own fault for charging in there without a lick of sense.”  Definitely wasn’t one of my smarter moves.

“I’d like to show you some pictures, see if you can identify the man who attacked you.”  He withdrew some mug shots from another pocket, laying them out on the bedside tray and rolled it towards me.  I pressed the magic button on the side of the bed to sit up higher (that was the one thing I liked about hospital beds).  “Do you see the man here among these shots?”

Surprised they might already know who he was, I studied them with interest.  Almost immediately I spotted the guy and pointed to him decisively.  “That’s him.”

“You’re sure?”

“Definitely, I’m positive,” I nodded vehemently, biting back the expletive that rose to my lips to further express just how certain I was.  The photo showed the creep with a surly expression on his face that I’d seen first hand.  But how did they know he was involved?  Had a witness stepped forth?  If so, then why didn’t they know about the other man?  Or maybe my mystery man was the witness but hadn’t volunteered to the cops he was directly involved in the incident?  Although more than likely the guy was checked into the same hospital, given the beating and stab wound he’d received at the hands of our attacker.

“It’s funny, I had a… I guess it was a dream he was here last night,” I remarked, thinking of the blue eyed stranger.

“Who, the guy that attacked you?”  Detective Gates’ eyes widened in alarm at the idea, and I felt a stab of guilt for having gone off on a tangent in my mind without defining the segue.

“No, the other man,” I corrected quickly.

“What can you tell me about that man?” he asked, flipping the page in his little notepad.

“Oh… well, he was tall like I said.  Blonde hair, curly and kinda messy the way it fell over his forehead.”  Good looking in a clueless sort of way, like he would have been a hottie with a makeover, but I didn’t mention that.  “His clothing was… I remember a long brown coat. Beyond that… I’m sorry, I don’t remember.  He’d been stabbed, like me, but he didn’t look like he was in pain, he looked sort of… lost.  Or maybe not lost, but bewildered, as if he couldn’t understand what was happening.  He had the bluest eyes…” my words trailed off.

“Like yours?”

“What?”  My head came up distractedly as I wasn’t sure I’d heard him right.

“Your eyes… I’m sorry, I was just noticing how blue they are,” he replied, staring openly at me, his notepad forgotten.  Not for the first time I wondered why people were staring at me lately.  How much of a wreck did I look like from my brush with death?

“How… blue… they are…” I nodded slowly, wishing for a mirror or even something shiny, but I was surrounded by plastic.

“Is there something wrong?”  Gates’ eyes narrowed in curiosity, and I shifted uncomfortably under his scrutiny.

“No, nothing wrong.”  I gave him a tight smile.  What could I say?  My eyes have been chocolate brown since birth, you’d better get your eyes checked, mister?  Things were getting weirder and weirder, but I tried to dismiss it from my mind for the moment.  For all I knew the guy was colorblind, or it was a temporary thing from the surgery.  Or maybe it had to do with all the colors I saw around people?  Unsure what it might mean, I resolved to ask for a mirror as soon as he left.

“Ah, where were we?” I frowned, having completely lost my train of thought.

Detective Gates looked down to consult his notes.  “Oh, you were telling me about the other guy, the one who got stabbed.  You said you thought you saw him here last night?”

“Well yeah, but he couldn’t have been.  They told me I wasn’t allowed visitors in the ICU.  In fact, you’re the first person I’ve seen not wearing scrubs since Saturday.”

“Maybe he was a patient here, if he got stabbed too?” he mused aloud.  His hand rubbed along his jaw as if it itched and I could see he hadn’t had a chance to shave yet.  Suddenly, I wondered if it wasn’t the end of a long night for him, instead of the beginning of a new day?

“Maybe,” I agreed readily since my mind had already gone along those lines.  “That shouldn’t be too hard for you guys to check out, right?  I mean how many stab victims come in on any given day?”

“You’d be surprised,” Gates sighed.  “He might not have come in at all.  A lot of these guys have their own people to stitch them up.”

“What do you mean these guys?”

“Drug dealers.  This guy you picked out?” He picked up the mug shot of my attacker and shook it.  “He’s a known drug dealer, among other things.  We lifted his prints from a knife we found in the alley, the knife that stabbed you.  Your ID clinches it.  Maybe you got in the middle of a drug deal gone bad?”

“Drugs?”  Somehow I couldn’t picture the blonde man being in that alley to buy drugs.  But then what else had he been doing there in the middle of the night?  “You know who he is then?  The guy who attacked me?”  That was comforting.  I thought it would be much tougher to find the man, if ever.  Lucky for me he dropped his knife.  Lucky for me, but stupid for him.  Obviously this guy wasn’t a master criminal.

“Yep, now it’s just a matter of picking him up.  We’ve already got an APB out on him now.  We’ll most likely have him in custody before you get released from the hospital.”  Gates gave me a reassuring smile, and I believed him.

“That’s good to hear.”  I didn’t like to think about the guy lurking around the club, waiting to finish off the job.  Although that was probably just being dramatic, he was most likely long gone at this point.  Looking up, I realized the detective had fallen silent and stood there looking at me again.  Not expectantly like he’d asked a question I missed, just reflectively.  “Do you have any more questions?”  My brows rose a fraction higher.

The detective shook himself out of it, flipping his notebook shut.  “No, I’ll let you get some rest now.  When we do pick him up, we might ask you to come down and fill out some paperwork.  Not until you’re well enough to, of course,” he added quickly.

“Yeah, sure, whatever I can do to help.”  The promise was given readily.  Already tired of the hospital, I hoped it would be sooner than later.

“In the meantime, if you think of anything else we should know, please don’t hesitate to give me a call.”  Producing a business card, he set it down on the rolling tray.

“I sure will,” I agreed, picking up the card and glancing down at it, my fingers moving over the neat print.

“And if I need to call you…?”

“You know where to find me.  Something tells me I’ll be here for a while yet,” I gave a long suffering sigh and Gates laughed at my disgruntled tone.

“You still live at the address on your driver’s license?”

“Yep, and you know where I work, so I’d say you stand a pretty good chance of finding me if you want me.”

The color rose on the side of his neck again and I wondered if I’d said something to embarrass him, but I didn’t know him well enough to guess what it was.  “Well, thank you for your time Miss Renault.”

“Mercy,” I reminded him.

“Miss Mercy,” he amended, and we both made a face at the same time at how it sounded, sharing a laugh at each other’s expressions.  “Mercy then,” he allowed with a nod.

“Stop by anytime,” I couldn’t help but add. There were worse ways to spend my time than talking with a friendly cop with a great smile.

* * *

I found out first hand what those worse ways to spend my time were, as an ocular specialist came in to run the tests on my eyes.  Dr. Estefan was a compact little man who ended every single sentence with hokay?  As in Now I would like you to close your right eye and repeat the same series from top to bottom, hokay?  Stifling a smile, I did as I was told, and for the life of me couldn’t tell if I passed or failed the tests based on his reactions.

But soon enough he told me to have a nice day, hokay? and taking his leave.  His color had been a mixture of greens and blues, though I hadn’t told him that.  I started to think I should keep the colors to myself.  After all it wasn’t hurting anything, and my vision was still crisp and accurate as far as I could tell.

Not two seconds after he’d gone, my door opened again and I steeled myself for the next round of being poked and prodded, but to my relief my brother Matthias slouched in instead.  “Matty!” I squealed, never so glad to see him in my life.  My younger brother could be counted on to fetch and carry all the things the nurses were too busy for, and maybe even sneak in a bit of contraband.  Only two years younger than me, we were close growing up, though I saw less of him in later years unless he was broke and needed a place to crash.  His aura was a pale yellow with the faintest bit of blue around the edges.

“Hey Merce,” he grinned, and I could see the relief etched plainly on his face.  Just what had they told him to expect?  Damn those doctors…

“I’m so glad to see you, did you come by before while I was still out?”

Matt nodded, dragging a chair up to the side of my bed.  “Yeah, but all they would let me do is look at you through the glass for a while, so I went on home.”  There was a touch of guilt in his voice at that, as if I’d be mad at him for leaving me there alone.

Instead I nodded my approval, waving away his concern.  “Did you call Mom?”  I knew my expression matched his own, the vague distaste in what that conversation must have been like.  Now don’t get me wrong, I love my mother, I just don’t like dealing with her a whole hell of a lot.  Trust me, if you met her you’d get that a little goes a long way where she’s concerned.

“Yep, she wanted to fly out here, and shit, I almost told her to do it.  They made it sound like you were gonna kick at any moment.  But in the end I talked her into waiting and seeing a little longer.  I guess you got better in the nick of time, huh?”  He gave me that lopsided grin that always made me think of him as a little boy, gap-toothed with a bowl haircut, begging me to come and play outside with him.

“She knows I’m getting better though?”  That was a conversation I didn’t look forward to either. I was sure to get an earful on the dangers of city living and why I should be working at a library.  Or a nunnery.  No guff, she really suggested that to me once.

“No worries, I bought you another day at least,” he drawled, head lolling back as he lounged in the chair more comfortably.  Matthias never sat, he sprawled; he never stood, he slouched.  He had the worst posture I’d ever seen.

“Thanks.” I gave him a heartfelt smile.  “Hey Matty, can you find me a mirror?”  Suddenly I remembered I wanted to check my eyes among other things.

“Why, you got a date later?” he smirked, long dark bangs falling into his eyes and not for the first time my fingers itched to give him a haircut.  I gave him a look that spoke volumes and he relented, patting his pockets and giving the room a cursory look.  “I don’t really see… Where am I supposed to find a mirror in a hospital room?  This isn’t a day spa.”

“Look around for something reflective, made out of metal,” I prompted.  How hard could it be?  A hospital had to have something made out of stainless steel at the least that would let me check my eye color, it wasn’t like I needed a fancy mirror.  It proved to be harder than I’d thought it would be, but after checking a few cupboards, he returned with a bedpan in hand, beaming proudly.

“A bed pan?”  My brow rose skeptically, but I lowered it almost immediately, catching his crestfallen expression.  “Thank you, that should work perfectly,” I amended, holding my hands out for the thing.

It was shiny enough to give me a somewhat distorted representation of my face, as long as I didn’t mind being compared to Jabba the Hutt.  Staring back at me were brilliant, blue eyes instead of my usual brown ones; striking against my dark hair and pale complexion.  “Huh.”  My breath came out a little funny as I stared, turning the bedpan one way and then the other.

“What?” Matt asked, watching me curiously.

“My eyes are blue.  I mean really, really blue, didn’t you notice?”  I lowered the bedpan and looked at him, widening my eyes slightly.

“Sure I did, I figured you got colored contacts or something.  Nobody’s eyes are that blue naturally, and especially not yours.  Yours are even darker than mine.”  A careless shrug was given, clearly this wasn’t a big issue for him.

“No, my eyes are actually blue now, ever since I woke up.  That’s kinda weird, right?”

Matty stared a little closer, leaning forward to study them.  “That is weird… I’ve never heard of that before, did the doctors say why it happened?” he murmured, and I started to feel like a bug on a stick, on display.

“No, they’re clueless.  Just like they can’t figure out why I took a turn for the better.”

“Yesterday they asked me if you’d made your wishes known for last rites and how you wanted to be buried and stuff.”  He slouched back again, looking uncomfortable.

“Jesus… I’m sorry Matty, that must have been rough.”  I would have patted his arm but I couldn’t reach him.

“It’s okay, I’m just glad you’re doing better.”

“And I’m just glad you’re here… so I can kick your ass at cards,” I grinned back.

“I knew you’d say that.”  Matt produced a deck of cards from his back pocket, his smile stretching wider.  “I hope you’re ready for a whuppin’. I’m gonna own your car by the time you get out of this place.”  The trash talk was already starting.

“Bring it on, squirt, I’m gonna own you by the time I walk outta here.”  My eyes glittered with avarice.

In the end I did own him after a fashion, having secured IOU’s for various handy man type chores to be redeemed at my discretion when he ran out of money to bet.  Not that he wouldn’t have helped me out with them anyway, but I planned on lording those IOU’s over his head for a while just for bragging rights.  It wasn’t often that I beat him at cards.  Maybe my luck was improving?

Finally, they chased him out at dinnertime and I was relieved to find my status upgraded to allow me clear liquids.  While beef broth and red jello weren’t exactly gourmet fare, after a diet of ice and water, it was sheer heaven.

Sleep was a long time in coming as I lay in the darkened hospital room, listening to the activity out in the hallways.  Something was definitely different about me, though I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.  If I’d only known then just how different… I might not have found sleep at all.

My night was a restless one, filled with interruptions as the staff came to check my vitals, and the arrival of a roommate sometime around two in the morning.  You would think someone being wheeled in at such a late hour would understand the concept of using hushed tones, especially when discussing something as delicate as her lady parts.  But my new roommate, Beth had no trouble answering all of the nurse’s questions as loud as you please.

What sleep I was able to snatch was riddled with unsettling dreams, reliving the attack in the alley over and over again.  Seeking solace, my mind built the fantasy that my blue eyed visitor came to see me again, standing silently by my bed as I slept.  For whatever reason I didn’t find the idea creepy or unusual that a total stranger might come to stand watch over me as I slept, in fact, I found it sorta comforting.  I even had the notion he held my hand, and those were the most peaceful hours of sleep I enjoyed.

Chapter Three

I knew I wasn’t supposed to get out of bed.

No one came right out and said it specifically, but after all, I’d just come out of a major surgery that no one expected me to survive.  A trip to the gift shop was pretty much out of the question.

Early morning found me bored to tears already, with no one to talk to and nothing to do but count the ceiling tiles (there were twenty-six).  Beth snored lightly behind the light curtain separating our spaces in the shared room, and I wondered if I could get away with turning the television on low.

Belatedly, I wished I’d asked Matt to pick up some magazines for me or a book, given how much time I was gonna spend on my back.  Somehow I didn’t think either Rachel or Bryan would be up for a quick trip to the gift shop for me.  They were already up to their necks in patients needing much more attention than I did, and didn’t seem to have much time to sit and chat.

Even beyond the boredom, I was struck by a restless energy, nudging me to get up and give my legs a test drive.  Looking back, I should have been aware it wasn’t in any way normal, but at the time, my thoughts were more focused on the logistics of the task at hand.

What would I do about my IV?  (It was on wheels and could be unplugged, I found after a cursory examination)

Could I easily remove the massaging leg warmer thingies that kept the blood from pooling in my legs?  (They were secured with Velcro, no sweat)

Where would I go? (The bathroom looked like my best bet, and I was dying to get a look at myself in the mirror and brush my teeth, even if only with a finger)

Could I even make it to the bathroom and back without an alarm going off, nurse walking in on me or Beth waking up and ratting me out?  (Only one way to find out…)

Moving slow, both for stealth’s sake and to make sure my body could actually handle the movement, I inched myself up to a sitting position, courtesy of the magic bed.  So far, so good…

The leg massagers came off easily enough, and my body didn’t seem to mind the bending motion it took to get them off.  In fact, there was no pain in my abdomen at all from shifting position. The only unusual sensation I had was my stitches itched like crazy, and I hoped it was a good sign.  Didn’t wounds start to itch when they healed?

Carefully, I swung my legs down to the floor, sitting up on the edge of the bed.  No dizziness, and no nausea; I was good to go.  My legs bore the weight fine with no sign of pain, only a faint stiffness in my limbs from lying too long in one place.  The IV monitor unplugged easily enough, and soon I was pushing the unit along the cool linoleum, my eyes diverting between the closed door and the curtain separating my bed from Beth’s, but neither showed signs of stirring.

Once inside the bathroom, I breathed easier, resting the door shut carefully before turning to stare at myself in the mirror.  There I was, rocking the grunge look with my unwashed hair and shiny face.  “Holy crap…”  My eyes were blue alright, a vibrant, crystalline blue that reminded me of my mysterious stranger, as I was starting to think of him.  Turning my head first one way and then the other, I observed the effect and had to admit, it was striking.

Apart from the fact that everyone who knew me would assume that I’d gotten colored contacts, I decided I could definitely get used to the look.  I almost expected to see a halo of color around myself in the mirror, but there was no sign of one.  Except for the blue eyes I looked just as I always had, or did I?  There was something else off, something subtle I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

Deciding it didn’t matter, I opted to take advantage of the trip to the bathroom in case I got yelled at for it and didn’t get the opportunity again any time soon.  Pretty sure I’d be busted if I tried to take a shower, I settled for washing my face and stealing some of Beth’s toothpaste to freshen up my mouth.  It was awkward with the IV in my arm, but I managed well enough.

Feeling brave (or was it foolish?), I decided to lift the bandage and see what the incision across my abdomen looked like.  The itching was driving me crazy, and I reasoned that if it was all red and angry, I should probably tell someone about it.  Peeling back the tape little by little, I tried to peek inside, but the angle was awkward until I’d managed to pull at least half of it off and could see it in the mirror.

There was a faint line there, the skin slightly pink and raised where the scar should have been, the stitches standing out dark and angry against my pale flesh.  What the hell was going on?  Where was the big nasty scar?  There was no way I should have healed that quickly from the surgery a few days ago, and as I passed my fingers lightly over the line, there was no pain or tenderness.

Looking up, I met my shocked gaze in the mirror, just standing there with my bandage half on and half off.  If Dr. Michaelson was surprised I survived the infection… she was gonna freak out when she saw how quickly my body healed itself through no effort on her part.

Just like that, it came to me.

I had to get the heck outta Dodge before they started asking questions I didn’t know the answers to.  There was no way I would sit around in the hospital while they poked and prodded me, running test after test.  I felt fine, better than fine, I felt strong.  No sense of fatigue from my trip to the bathroom.  In fact, it felt good to be up and around, working the kinks out of my muscles.  I started back to the bed, trying to work my way through the logistics of sneaking out of the busy hospital.

Only, there was no way I would be able to walk out by myself.  I needed to call in the reinforcements.  That meant either Matty or maybe Daphne, my best friend.  As a last resort, I reasoned I could call Alice or Walter from work.  Even Parker, my boss, who owned and ran Eden, but I was less comfortable involving anyone from work.

Halfway between the bathroom and the bed, the door swung open.  I froze, a guilty expression on my face like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, until I realized who it was.  “Daphne!” I beamed, lowering my voice instantly to a conspiratorial hush.  “You must have been reading my mind!  I’m so glad to see you, you’ve gotta get me out of here!”

Daphne Spencer and I have been best friends ever since my family moved to Seattle when I was in the third grade.  Our friendship had survived many things over the years, and I knew she was the one person I could count on, besides my brother, to be there for me when the chips were down.  She was my opposite as far as coloring goes with long blonde hair that naturally falls in perfect ringlets I would kill for.  Her skin was habitually tanned, despite the usually overcast Seattle weather, and her eyes a light blue that sparkled with good humor.  As I saw her then, the aura surrounding her body was a vibrant orange with a tinge of pink at the center.

“Mercy, what are you doing up and around?  Should you be doing that?”  She looked horrified at the idea of me being out of bed and I realized I would have an uphill battle.

“I don’t know what they told you, but I’m not at death’s door.”  I used Detective Gates’ turn of phrase.  “Now quick, you gotta help me get out of here before the nurse comes back, or even worse, one of the doctors.”  My feet moved swiftly, pushing the clunky, rolling IV stand back to the side of my bed and plopping down on the edge of the bed.

“What?  That’s crazy, you almost died!” Her eyes narrowed at me suspiciously and I could tell I would have to talk fast.

“Oh stop being so melodramaculous.”  I used one of our favorite words.  “Obviously I’m not dying, look at me, do I look like I belong in a hospital?”  To prove my point I stood again and did a slow pivot in a circle, but then ruined the effect when I had to turn back around in the opposite direction to keep the stupid IV from getting tangled up.

“Mercy, they were talking about keeping you here for another week at least.” Daphne shook her head.

“I don’t care, I need to go home.  I’ll be fine, I swear. I’ll explain everything when we get back to my place.” I pleaded with her, the desperation growing with every moment we stood around talking about it.  She still looked largely unconvinced, so I played my trump card.  “Come on Daph, you know I’ll do it with or without your help and I stand a much better chance of getting home safely if you take me home instead of dragging myself onto the bus…”

Her head tilted to one side as she studied me, and I gave her a mischievous smile.  The one I regularly used to try and cajole her into one of my scathingly brilliant ideas over the years.  I could practically see the wheels turning in her head, weighing the risks and possible outcomes, trying to decide if I’d really go through with the bluff.  We both knew I was stubborn enough to try it.  About a half second before she opened her mouth to reply I felt a rush of triumph.  “Okay, but if you die, it’s all your own fault,” Daphne grumbled, not looking at all thrilled by caving in.

“Some of us are trying to sleep y’all,” Beth called out in an overly saccharine voice, and Daphne and I traded identical eye rolls.  The woman hadn’t been so concerned with volume control when it had been her talking up a storm in the middle of the night.

Overjoyed by the prospect of busting out of there, I beckoned her to me, whispering conspiratorially.  “You’ve got to get me something to wear. I can’t walk out of here dressed like this.”  I gestured to the hospital gown that thankfully tied in a criss cross over the front instead of gaping open in the back like they did in the movies.

“Where am I supposed to get clothes for you to wear?  Steal them from the lost and found?”  Her nose crinkled with distaste at the prospect of wearing someone else’s stinky, old clothes.  “Oh… I have an idea.  Sit tight, okay?”  Daphne’s face lit up in excitement, finally getting into the spirit of our little escapade.

“Yep, I’ll be here, just don’t take too long.” I nodded back, swinging my feet into bed in case Bryan came in to check my vitals.  No sense in alarming anyone before we were ready to fly the coop.  “And thanks, Daph.”

“You’re gonna owe me for this one.”  Her eyes gleamed with a touch of good natured avarice, and then she was gone.

I tried to relax as I waited for Daphne to come back, even glad to see Bryan show up on schedule to take my blood pressure since it meant I’d have a little more time to make my getaway before he returned.  But my pulse was up a little, something he remarked upon as he tapped the data into the pad.  With all the adrenaline coursing through my system I wasn’t surprised, but I managed a noncommittal murmur in response.  A flush of mean spirited pleasure went through me when Bryan woke Beth up to take her vitals, I do admit, but she took it in stride, settling right back down again when he finished.

Soon enough I was on my own, and the moment the door swung shut, my eyes returned to the IV sticking out of my arm.  As soon as I hatched the idea of sneaking out of the hospital, I realized I’d have to deal with removing it on my own.  There was no way I could ask Daphne to take it out for me, she was squeamish enough over the idea as is, and had never been one to handle blood or gore particularly well.  She was always the one to duck and hide her eyes during a gruesome horror movie or zombie flick, which meant I’d have to grit my teeth and pull it out.  How hard could it be?

Going with the ‘pull the band-aid off quickly’ school of thought, I peeled off part of the tape holding the needle in.  My teeth mashed against the inside of my lips at the pain that bloomed from the big patch of missing arm hair in the process.  After a deep breath or two, I gritted my teeth in anticipation of more pain.  Gripping the needle firmly, I yanked it out as straight as I could manage, pressing the bandage firmly around the wound to keep it from bleeding.  All in all, pulling the needle out hurt far less than removing the tape, thank God.

The door swung open and I looked up nervously, hand clamped over my wrist guiltily.  It was only Daphne, her face glowing with success as she plopped a duffel bag on the end of the bed.  “I was going to try to get to the gym later,” she beamed, unzipping the bag to pull out a pair of lycra workout shorts and an oversized t-shirt.

I would have been happy to wear clown pants at that point if it meant a chance at getting out of there and immediately started tugging them on.  Relieved none of the physical activity made me feel the least bit weak or woozy, I slipped on her sneakers that were thankfully just a little snug, but fit otherwise, and I tugged my hair up into a messy ponytail.

Daphne had taken up a vantage point by the door, ready to distract anyone who came through.  She darted a furtive glance over, her shoulders dropping in relief as she saw me zipping up the duffel.  “Ready?”

“Ready.”  I was nervous as hell as we stepped out into the hall.  After a brief check, we started walking slow but steady for the elevators at the end of the hallway.  It was tempting to look at the nurse’s station on the way out to see if we were noticed.  Instead I kept my face turned away, putting Daphne between me and the desk in the hopes she’d block me at least in part.

Once inside the elevator we both dissolved into a nervous fit of giggles, and I felt a huge hurdle had been surpassed just by leaving the floor.  On the ground level, no one paid us any mind and it was a quick shot out to the parking lot.  I was pleased to note I still felt no fatigue or dizziness, but the colors… They nearly overwhelmed me once we got to the crowded lobby.

Auras of all hues glowed softly around each person in a riot of colors that dazzled my eyes.  Daphne caught my dazed look and shot me a look.  “Are you sure you want to leave?” she murmured, a pucker of worry appearing on her brow.

“No, I’m fine.  It’s not that, it’s… something else.  I’ll explain later, I promise,” I hedged, not knowing quite how to explain the phenomenon anyway.  Out in the car I took a deep, steadying breath, noting my hands shook slightly, but I figured it was from the adrenaline.  We had done it!

“Holy smokes, I can’t believe we just did that!”  Daphne looked amped as she started the car and I couldn’t help but smile in return.

I wasn’t very talkative on the way back to my apartment, but Daphne didn’t seem to notice or mind, singing along with the radio.  She’d always been an upbeat person, bubbly and good hearted and I’ve always admired and envied those qualities about her.  I’ve always been more cynical, skeptical, but I like to think my heart is still in the right place.

We balanced each other out pretty well.  She kept me from getting too broody and down when things didn’t go my way, reminding me about the good things in life.  In turn, I kept her from floating off into the clouds when her naiveté got the better of her and threatened to lead her into making a mistake.  Like the time she’d wanted to accept that ride home from those rocker guys with a van just because they had a cute puppy.  I loved her to death, but sometimes she had no common sense.

My eyes drifted to the sidewalks, still sparsely populated in the early morning.  Spotting auras gave people watching a whole new dimension and I studied them, looking for a pattern to the colors.

My eyes landed on a familiar face, and I stared dumbstruck as I spied my mysterious stranger, not four blocks from the hospital!  He was tall, like I remembered, and he had the same long brown coat he wore in the alley and in my dreams.  Oddly enough, he had that disheveled look one might associate with the homeless or someone who was down on his luck.  But not dirty, not like he lived on the streets, he just seemed… out of place.

The same golden aura surrounded him like a full body halo, gleaming brighter than the average person on the street.  This time it didn’t flicker and crackle like a bug zapper but was steady and solid, much stronger looking.

He walked with both hands shoved in his pockets, the breeze blowing his unruly curls down over his forehead, making my fingers itch to push them back to get a better look at his face.  We were close to passing him when he looked up, his azure gaze locking with mine.  I turned in my seat, staring as we drove past and he turned as well, holding my gaze until we disappeared around the corner.

That time I hadn’t imagined him, I was as sure of that as I knew my own name.  And he knew me too, or at least was as interested in me as I was in him in that brief contact.  Part of me wanted to ask Daphne to turn around and go back, but what would I say?  Hey, remember me from that alley the other night?  Or better still, were you in my hospital room the other night?  Were you holding my hand? It sounded looney tunes just thinking about it, and my mood turned broody for the rest of the way home.

Luckily, Daphne had her emergency key to my little apartment, and I wondered again if my purse was locked up at the hospital or down at Eden.  My cat Mimsy immediately came mewling for attention, but instead of tangling with my legs as she tended to do once I opened the door, she backed away as soon as she saw me.

“Come on, kitty, what is it? C’mere Mims…”  I frowned at her behavior.  She sniffed the air around me carefully, her hackles raised.

“Maybe she smells the hospital?” Daphne shrugged, closing the door.

“More likely she smells me, I haven’t showered in days.”  I made a face, sighing with relief to be back in my own place again.  “I should probably take one now.”

“You need to get into bed, Mercy,” Daphne ordered resolutely, turning me by the shoulders towards my bedroom. “Just because I helped spring you from the hospital, doesn’t mean I think you should be running around all willy nilly.”

My lips quirked over that.  “Taking a shower isn’t exactly running around willy or nilly.  Besides, I don’t think I can rest until I wash away the smell of that place.  I don’t want to climb into my nice clean bed like this.”

“Nope, no shower until you’ve had a chance to rest from the trip home,” she insisted, and I could tell I’d have a hard time arguing her out of that one from the mutinous cast to her face.

“How about I rest on the couch then?”  My brown vinyl couch was surprisingly comfy and I liked to pretend it was made of real leather, it made me feel more stylish.  “I’ll lie here like a potato.”  I was already moving to plop down into my regular spot, and Mimsy followed, sniffing my ankles cautiously.

“Well… alright,” Daphne relented after a moment, knowing my stubborn nature.  “But I’m going to make you some tea and then you can tell me all about what happened.  Matt wasn’t at all specific when he called me and Parker didn’t know much more either.”

My kitchen was open to the living room, the space separated by a breakfast bar and we could talk easily while she put the kettle on.  There was a tiny balcony outside of the sliding glass door that the building manager laughingly called a deck, but there was barely enough room for two plastic chairs out there.  Mimsy liked to sit out there with me though, and the overhang from the apartment above kept the rain off unless it was windy.

“You talked to Parker?”  My brows rose a fraction over that.  My boss was nice enough after you got to know him a little, but I hadn’t thought Daphne ever really spoke to him much before.

“Well sure, after Matty told me you’d been stabbed at work and the hospital said you couldn’t have any visitors, I went down there to find out if anyone saw anything.  He was too busy bitching about all the hassle the cops gave him about not having proper safety lighting out in the alley, he wasn’t much help at all.”

Great, I had to contend with Parker being pissy with me when I got back to work on top of my missed shifts.  That sounded like fun.  “That figures.  I almost die and he’s worried about the hassle of installing security lights,” I muttered.

“He did seem worried about you, if that helps.  He seemed kinda broken up about it, guilty even.  I just don’t think he knew how to vocalize it.”

Ah Daphne, ever looking for the good in people…  I knew better, Parker wasn’t the sentimental type.  Hopefully I’d get a few more days grace period before I had to go back and face him, and with any luck he’d cool down by then.

“Do you want blackberry or apple cinnamon?”  Daphne held up the boxes of tea, giving each a light shake when she mentioned them.

“I’ll take blackberry, thanks,” I replied, settling more comfortably on the couch and patting the cushion next to me, but Mimsy still gave me a wide berth.  “Stupid cat…”

“What?”

“Oh nothing,” I sighed, closing my eyes for a moment.  “This has been the weirdest week.”

Daphne made an inelegant snort.  “You crack me up, Mercy.  You get stabbed, spend the week in the hospital, almost die and then talk me into sneaking you out of there, and you that’s all you can say?  It’s been a weird week?”  A shake of the head was given.

“You don’t know the half of it,” I muttered, leaning back against the couch.

“Okay, so tell me.”  Daphne returned to the living room, mugs in hand, setting them down on the coffee table.  Folding her legs under her on the couch beside me, she waited, eyes alight with anticipation.

I didn’t know how much to tell her. I didn’t want her to worry and I was afraid that if I told her about my incredible healing or the colors I was seeing, she might try and talk me into going back to the hospital for more tests.  Or worse… call my mother.

Instead I focused on the one thing that might capture her interest enough to push those other issues aside.  My mysterious stranger.  “You know the guy who was in the alley getting stabbed before I showed up?”

Daphne nodded, she knew the basics at least.

“I could have sworn he was at the hospital too, visiting me when I was in intensive care.”

“But I thought you weren’t supposed to have visitors?”  A disgruntled tone crept into her voice at having been denied the same privilege.

“No, I wasn’t, and the nurse said no one had been allowed in, so I figured I must have imagined it, right?” I licked my lips, forging on.  “And then the next night I dreamed about him again, that he came to visit me while I slept.  But not in a creepy, stalkerish way, more like he was looking out for me.”

Daphne nodded again, waiting for me to get to the good part she knew must be coming from my tone of voice.

“I figured it was all in my head, but when we left the hospital, I saw him on the street and he looked right at me.”

“And?” she prompted, leaning forward in her seat.

“And… that’s it, I saw him and he saw me and he definitely knew me, that’s all.  Don’t you think that’s kinda weird?”

Doubt clouded her pretty features, and I could tell she searched for the right thing to say.  “Yes, I guess so.  But maybe he was coming to visit you?  Maybe he found out you were out of the ICU and wanted to visit you to say thanks for saving his life?”

Obviously she didn’t think there was anything strange about that, but I couldn’t shake the feeling there was something more between us.  A connection I couldn’t describe.  “I just thought it was an odd coincidence to see him on the street like that.”  I gave a half shrug.

“Tell me about him, was he cute?”  Warming to the subject, she picked up a pillow and hugged it to her middle.

I couldn’t help but smile in response, it had been too long since we had some good girl talk over a guy.  A while since I’d been in a real relationship, the last few guys I hooked up with turned out to be total losers.  The last one even asked me to pay for my half of dinner right after he gave me the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech.  He ended up with a lap full of linguine and I had to catch the bus home.

“He was cute,” I grinned.  “In a kind of scruffy way.  Not in the ‘I’m cool, here is my perpetual unshaven look’ like Steve, remember Steve?”  I made a face, oh how I wish I could forget him.  “But in a cute, clueless sort of way.  Like a big puppy.”  I was explaining it badly, I knew that, but I didn’t think saying he dressed like a homeless guy would present the right mental image.  “Tall, blonde and handsome though, what’s not to like?”

“Like a big puppy?  I didn’t think that was your type.  Isn’t that how you described Walter from work?”

Walter worked as a bouncer at the club.  Despite the muscles and deliberately grim expression he wore at work, I found he was a gentle, almost bashful man.  He was also a bit sweet on me, though I never felt a love connection there.  “Walter is more like a big, loyal dog than a puppy,” I considered aloud.  “He’s sweet and trustworthy but there’s no spark, you know?”

Daphne nodded, she got it.  “But you feel a spark with this other guy?”

“I don’t know, I mean I’ve never even spoken to him.”

“So… maybe you should find this guy then?  I bet the cops will track him down,” she suggested, blowing on her tea and I shook my head.

“No, the cops didn’t even know he’d been in the alley with me, they have no idea who he is.  But the detective did seem interested in him, so maybe he’ll track him down.”

“No fair, the police got to visit you before I did?” Daphne pouted.

“Yeah, they came to see me practically as soon as I was awake.  They already know who the guy was that attacked me though, that was pretty impressive.”

“They do?  That was fast.  Do they need you to pick him out of a lineup or anything?”

“I don’t know, they hadn’t picked him up yet when I talked to the guy.  He seemed pretty confident they’d get him soon though.”  I smiled at the recollection of the conversation.  Detective Gates had been a much more personable and sympathetic figure than I’d been expecting from the police department.

“Hey wait a minute, I know that smile, was the cop cute too?” Daphne teased, and I felt my cheeks grow warm.

“He was… attractive, yes,” I admitted, remembering his engaging smile.  “But come on, he’s a cop.”  Not that I had anything against law enforcement, it just wasn’t something I’d really considered before.

Daphne snorted at that.  “So?  You don’t think they date?  It’s not like you’re a criminal or anything.  It wouldn’t hurt you to go out with a nice guy for a change.”

“Just because he’s a cop doesn’t mean he’s a nice guy,” I pointed out, reaching for my own tea that had turned a deep purple, the way I liked it.

“But was he?” she looked at me expectantly.

Definitely a nice guy, it was his defining characteristic.  “Yeah, he was,” I admitted.

“You should call him up, ask him if he’s been able to track down the other guy.  If he has then great, you can give your big blonde puppy a call.  If not… then maybe you and the cop can get together for a little interrogation or something,” she waggled her eyebrows at me and we both laughed.

“Maybe I will.  But I’m not doing anything today but taking it easy.”  It was easier not to have the conversation with anybody else yet as to why I wasn’t in the hospital any longer.

“Good,” she nodded with approval.  “I can stick around until two, then I’ve gotta get to work.”  Daphne worked in a call center for a market research company.  Which was a nice way of saying she was one of those annoying people who called you at dinnertime and asked you to take a survey about what brand of laundry soap you preferred.  She landed me a job there once, but it wasn’t my thing.  Personally, I could never take all the rejection.  People were pretty damn rude to perfect strangers on the phone, but it suited her temperament fine.

“Okay thanks.  Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.  I’m just gonna curl up and wade through some of my Netflix queue.”  I am a big fan of streaming video, and Netflix is definitely worth its weight in gold for satisfying my need to re-watch favorite TV shows from when I grew up.

We chatted for a while, I walked her through the stabbing, at least the parts I could remember and caught up in general.  She was dating someone new, and I wanted to hear all about that, of course.  By the time Daphne had to leave for work, I was desperate for a shower.  Even if I’d been as weak as a kitten, I would have dragged my mangy butt in there and let the water run over me.  Even if I had to sit on the bottom of the tub.  As it was I still felt fine, and as soon as I bolted the door after Daphne, I made a beeline for the bathroom and turned the water on.

Speaking of kittens, Mimsy grew less wary of me, and condescended to sit at my feet while I visited with Daphne, close but still out of reach for being patted.  When I got up to go into the shower she followed me, sitting in her usual vantage point on the counter to watch, having a love/hate relationship with water.

The hot shower felt… amazing.  I don’t know if it was because it had been a few days, or because of whatever change had come over my body since the stabbing, or secret option number three, but I lingered a lot longer than I needed to.  I came out feeling relaxed and good, until I caught sight of my stitches in the steamy bathroom mirror.

I had no idea if they were supposed to be dissolving stitches or if they’d have to be removed, but it was clear they weren’t needed anymore.  The skin beneath them looked completely knitted together, even smoother than it had that morning if possible.  Picking up a pair of slender scissors from the bathroom counter, I carefully snipped through them and pulled the black threads free with a pair of tweezers.  Belatedly, I wondered if I should have sterilized things first, but it was too late.  Except for the faint line across my belly I looked fine.

Better since I was clean, a healthy pink glow returned to my skin.  The eyes were still startling to get used to and I was glad that Daphne hadn’t brought it up.  For the moment all I wanted to do was pull on some comfy pajamas and curl up on the sofa like I promised.  There was time enough to ponder what happened to me and why I felt like a stranger in my own body.

Chapter Four

There are few things important enough to drive me from my bed on a cold and rainy Seattle morning.  I’ve never been much of a morning person, another reason why it suited me to work as a bartender in a nightclub.  Running out of coffee was dire enough to force me to pull on some warm clothes and venture out into the drizzle.

Ordinarily I don’t mind the rain.  You can’t live in Seattle and not be immune to it in some fashion, but I hate going shopping in the rain.  It’s always tricky to try and balance an umbrella with the bags and everything usually ends up a soggy mess by the time you get home.  But I had learned to pick my battles with my persnickety car and shopping was one that I battled on foot most days, preferring to leave the driving for when I really needed it.  To get to work.

I had enough basics in the house to get me through a few days as long as Mimsy wouldn’t mind a bit of people food sprinkled in with her kitty food, but I couldn’t face the day without a real caffeine fix after being so many days without.  Sometimes tea was good enough or even preferred when I felt like I wanted something soothing but in the morning, there was no substitute for a good cup of coffee.  The stronger the better.  After the week I had, instant coffee wasn’t going to cut it either.

Besides, I wanted to get out and stretch my legs for a bit.  The afternoon and night before passed without any new or troublesome episodes.  Alice from work even stopped by briefly to drop off my coat and purse that had been safely locked up in the manager’s office while I was out.  We chatted for a while before she had to get in to the club, and she produced a card that everyone signed for me, even Parker.  It was nice to be missed, and it brought a smile to my lips to see the card sitting on the breakfast bar in the kitchen.

My sleep was blessedly devoid of dreams, and I woke up feeling like a million bucks.  Brutal stabbing?  Complications from surgery?  Near death experience?  Me?  It was like it never happened.  A short walk to the corner store seemed like just what the doctor ordered… if the doctor was blind to the fact that I had major surgery of course.

Once outside, I felt more like my old self.  I even started to get used to the auras surrounding people.  Less dazzled and more accepting them as part of what people looked like.  It was a quick walk to the market and I smiled at Alexei, who manned the front counter.  “Hey Alex, can I get a large, nonfat, no whip mocha please?”  I ordered my usual.  There were no markets in my neighborhood that didn’t have at least a small espresso stand in the corner.  I think it’s some kind of law in Seattle that every establishment selling food must also sell delicious caffeinated beverages.

“Sure, you bet,” Alexei grinned, looking glad to see me.  His family owned the store and only employed various family members to work there.  On some days you’d be lucky and find Alex or one of the more Americanized relatives.  On others, you’d have to stumble through a thick Russian accent to convey what it was you wanted and hope for the best.  Alexei’s aura was a deep, forest green swirled with a medium blue and flecks of yellow, making me think of a tie-dyed t-shirt.

Picking up a hand basket, I moved through the store as he went to work making my mocha.  While I was there, I decided I might as well pick up a few other things, and moved slowly through the aisles, in no particular rush.    The door opened a few minutes later, but I paid it no mind.  Instead, I studied a package of cookies that looked an awful lot like Oreos, but the label was written completely in Russian; a dancing bear on the front with a cookie in his hand as big as his head.

I had just about decided to spend an extra buck and get the real Oreos instead,  when I caught movement in my peripheral vision and looked up, shocked to see my mystery stranger standing at the end of the aisle.  The second I looked up he immediately ducked his head down, shoulders hunching as he pretended to study a row of bottles on the endcap.

For a long moment I stood there gaping at him, too surprised to look away or approach him.  As I watched, he looked up again and saw me watching him.  He took a half step to the left before he dropped his gaze again, moving all of two inches. As if that somehow made him less visible? I couldn’t help but giggle at that.

I sauntered closer to him, my eyes on the shelves while I watched him out of the corner of my eye.  Somehow I had the feeling if I strode right up to him he might bolt, so instead I stopped about a quarter of the aisle away before I turned to face him in full.  “Hi,” I gave him a tentative smile. “Do you live around here?”  Why else would he be in a neighborhood market, unless he was following me…

“Who are you talking to?”  Alexei stood behind me with my mocha in hand, a puzzled smile on his face.

“Um…” my head swiveled from Alexei to where the stranger stood in plain sight, though for whatever reason it appeared Alexei didn’t see him.  As I watched, the stranger sidled away slowly, entering the next aisle and moving with swift steps for the door.  “You didn’t see a guy standing right there?”

“Ah… no?”  Alexei gave me a sidelong glance, his eyes lifting to scan that corner of the store.  “We’re the only ones in here.”

“Of course we are…” I muttered, taking the coffee from his hand and raising it immediately to my lips as if it was the cure for what ailed me.  “Thanks, I was… never mind.”  It was easier for him to think I was a little odd rather than try to explain and have him think I’d gone completely kazoo for sure.  I wasn’t completely certain I hadn’t taken a turn for the worse myself where my mental health was concerned.  Seeing imaginary glowy guys in my sleep was one thing, but in broad daylight?

I decided to pick up the rest of my groceries and get home.  Alexei hovered nearby as I shopped, straightening shelves as we chatted.  Maybe he was lonely?  I wasn’t picking up the vibe that he thought I might be shoplifting anything, after all I was a regular customer.  Even after I paid for my purchases, he kept talking and I got the feeling he wished I’d stick around for a while, but I was ready to go home.

One thing was in my favor, as I stepped outside I was pleased to see it stopped raining and there were patches of blue to be found in the overcast sky.  “Thank God for small miracles,” I murmured, turning for home.

I was more than halfway there when I spotted him again, his reflection catching my eye as I glanced at a window display of artwork for Star Tattoo parlor.  My step slowed, but I continued on, watching him surreptitiously in every reflective surface I passed.  He was definitely following me home.

Torn between wanting to turn and confront him and waiting to see if he would turn off for some other destination or follow me to my door, I tried varying my pace.  Stopping to feign interest in the menu for Shanghai Garden, sure enough, he stopped too, looking awkwardly at his hands, his feet, anything to keep from looking at me directly.

I started to get a little nervous, wondering if I should try and lead him somewhere other than my apartment or go home and lock the door.  Just because I’d had warm and fuzzy dreams about the guy didn’t mean he wasn’t dangerous, and I was more than a little spooked by the fact that I was the only one seeing him.  I had just about decided to walk past my apartment and call Matty from the Laundromat to come down and escort me home, when I spotted the detective from the hospital leaning against his car on my street.

“Hi,” I smiled in surprise, and not a little relief. “It’s Detective Gates, right?”

“That’s me.  You have a good memory,” he nodded, pushing away from the car and walking towards me.

“Actually I usually have a terrible memory with names, you must have made a good impression on me,” I smiled, digging for my keys.  “Are you here to see me or a lucky neighbor?”

“I am here to see you actually,” Gates admitted, and there was that smile again, the one that transformed his face.

“Oh, okay,” I nodded, turning around openly to see if my stranger was still around, but I couldn’t see hide nor hair of him.

“Is something wrong?” Gates asked, looking around to try and spot what I might possibly be looking for.

“What?  Oh, sorry, no.”  I gave him a sheepish smile. “Did you want to talk here, or do you want to come up for a cup of coffee or something?”

“Actually, I was sort of hoping you’d be free to take a ride with me down to the station.”

“Uh oh, should I be worried?”  I gave him a teasing smile, unlocking the outer door to the building.

“Why, have you done anything you should be worried about?” he countered, returning my teasing smile with one of his own and I laughed.

“If I have, I sure wouldn’t admit it to you, now would I?  Give me a minute to put this stuff in the fridge and feed my cat or I’ll come home to a homicide.”

His brows rose expectantly, waiting for me to elaborate.

“She’ll kill a kitchen sponge, it’s not pretty.  Trust me, I’ve seen it before,” I deadpanned until he cracked a smile, and then I couldn’t maintain the serious expression any longer.  “I’ll be right back, okay?”

“I’ll be here.”

Fairly flying up the stairs to my third floor apartment, I dropped the bags off on the kitchen counter and went straight for the window, but I couldn’t see any sign of my mysterious stranger.  Clearly he didn’t want to be seen by the cops, something else to add to the laundry list of odd things where he was involved.

Not wanting to keep the detective waiting overly long, I tossed the few things into the fridge that needed it, and fed Mimsy who still acted skittish around me.  Out of habit I stopped by the bathroom to double check my appearance before I headed back down.  What did one wear down to the police station?  Deciding my jeans and pink knit top were fine, I added a subtle touch of eyeliner and locked up again, not trying to look too much like I wanted to impress him.

As soon as he saw me coming, the detective pulled open the passenger door of his unmarked car, his smile back in place again.

“Thank you, kind sir,” I smiled in response, sliding into the seat which got me a chuckle from him.  “So, what do I need to go to the police station for?  Do you need me to sign a statement or something?” I asked once we were underway.

“Actually, I’d like you to come and take a look at a lineup, see if you can pick out your attacker.”

“Get outta town, you picked him up already?” I gaped at him, impressed.

“I told you it would only be a matter of time.”  He shot me a sidelong grin before turning his eyes back to the road.

“Well, yeah but, that was fast.”  A knot of tension in the pit of my stomach I wasn’t even aware I’d been carrying eased at the news.  With him off the streets I could return to work feeling a lot safer.  In thinking about work, I wondered when I should go back.  So far Parker, hadn’t called me about coming in, but then again, he probably still thought I was in the hospital.  Speaking of the hospital, I’d already dodged a couple of calls from Dr. Michaelson and the administrative office.  Sooner or later they’d catch up to me, but for the moment I was deep in avoidance of all things medical.

We chatted about this and that for the rest of the ride to the precinct and I found myself smiling more often than not.  Detective Gates was nice to talk to, he had a dry sense of humor which was a nice counterpoint to my own acerbic tongue.  Overall it was nice to talk to a guy about more than what he wanted to drink or what time I got off work.

The lineup process was pretty much what I expected from the movies. I stood in a little room with a big window looking out over a bigger room.  While I waited, they trotted out five guys of similar body types and they stood there with varying degrees of boredom and surliness until they marched them back out again.

I spotted the guy right away.  He looked even rattier than I remembered, and had the fading marks of a black eye on his left side.  Clearly this was not shaping up to be a banner day for him.  His aura was a deep, murky red, mottled with unhealthy looking black splotches that made me think of growing mold or fungus.  “Yep, that’s him, number three,” I reported, finger tapping on the window.

“Are you sure?  You want me to have him step forward into the light or anything?” Gates offered.

“No, that’s him alright, not a doubt in my mind,” I nodded decisively.

“Good enough for me.  Send ‘em back out.”

“Who is that guy exactly?” I asked, watching them file back out.

“That is one Charles Christopher Weatie.  He’s been picked up several times for possession of narcotics and suspicion of drug trafficking.  He’s got a couple of arrests for assault and one charge for attempted murder, but that was thrown out when the witness refused to testify.  He’s never done any real jail time, always seems to slither his way out of it.  We’ve been trying to get him off the streets for a long time, hopefully he won’t be able to weasel his way out of this one.”

“Wow, a real winner, huh?”  It took me a minute to process all of that, the news about the witness who refused to testify causing me a kernel of worry.  What made him refuse? All sorts of scenarios ran through my mind, most of them influenced by bad crime thrillers and mobster movies.  None of it good at any rate. Apparently my concern was written all over my face because Gates picked up both of my hands and turned me away from the window.

“Hey, we’re going to get him with this one, I promise.  You’ve got nothing to worry about.  We’ve got enough to hold him with your positive ID and the prints on the knife.  Weatie won’t be seeing the light of day for a long, long time.”  His reassuring smile and the gentle pressure at my hands did the trick, and I gave him a tremulous smile in return.

“Alright, so what happens now?”

“Now we get through some boring paperwork and then you let me buy you a cup of coffee.”

I smiled at the invitation, very aware my hands were still in his.  “Alright, that sounds good.  I’m probably gonna need my hands back if you need me to sign something though,” I pointed out with a wry twist of the lips.

He dropped them like a hot potato, and I saw the familiar flush creeping up the side of his neck.  “Oh, right.”  Pulling open the door, he stepped back to allow me to exit first.  “This way, Miss Renault.”

“Detective,” I said just as formally, retaining some of that smile as I sailed through the door.  It took longer than I would have thought to fill out the paperwork but I got the impression from him it was about par for the course.  Finally we were done, and though I rejected his offer of the acrid smelling station coffee he presented me with, I did accept the offer of a ride home.

“Can we ride with the siren on?” I asked as we got into the car and he seemed amused by my question.

“You have someplace you need to be in a hurry?”

“No, I just wondered what it would be like.”  I gave him a sheepish smile, feeling like he must think I was about five years old in that moment.

“Mmm sorry, no, can’t do it.”  He shook his head as we pulled out of the parking lot.  “It’s overrated anyway.  People are slow to get out of the way and it’s loud.  We might actually make better time going along with regular traffic.”

“Okay.”  I gave an overblown sigh of disappointment just to make him smile again, gratified when it worked.  When we got to my apartment I decided it was my turn to be bold.  “So… you want to come up for a real cup of coffee?”

It was clear I’d surprised him by the offer, but he recovered quickly.  “Sure, for a few minutes anyway, then I have to get back.”

“Great,” I beamed, leading him into the building.  For once I didn’t even think to look around for my mysterious stranger.  Luckily, I’d bought coffee and fresh milk at the store, so I was able to offer him real coffee instead of my emergency stash of crappy instant.  As I moved easily through my kitchen, he took a seat at the breakfast bar.  Mimsy immediately jumped onto the stool next to him, dividing her attention between watching Ben and the milk on the counter.

“You know I can’t get over how quickly you’re up and around,” he remarked, watching me and absently reaching over to scratch behind the cat’s ears.

“Fast healer I guess.”  I tried to shrug it off as I put some Oreos on a ceramic plate shaped like an apple.

“Still, that kind of surgery isn’t something you shake off,” he said thoughtfully.  “But you… you look great.  You’re practically glowing with good health.”

I looked up sharply at that, his phrasing bringing to mind the glow that surrounded my stranger.  “Have a cookie.”  Hoping to change the subject, I pushed the plate across the counter to him.

Picking one up, he munched on it absently, still studying me closer than I liked.  “When did they release you from the hospital?  I called there first this morning, I was surprised to hear you weren’t still there.”

“I left yesterday.”  Not a lie.  “I’m feeling much better, taking things easy, you know.”  Busying myself with pouring out two mugs of coffee, I kept my back to him for a moment, trying to decide if I should tell him any more than that.  He was a nice guy, obviously interested in me at least in a friendly way and he’d demonstrated a concern for my safety.  Like Daphne suggested, he might be able to help me track down my stranger to try and get some answers out of him.  But then again, he was a cop… how likely was he to believe anything out of the ordinary?

“Here you go, how do you like it?”

“Thanks, I’ll take some sugar if you’ve got it.”

I set the sugar bowl down in front of him and added some milk and sugar to my own cup.  If I didn’t tell him anything more, it might be the last time I had a chance to talk to him.  I’d signed the papers he wanted, his case was officially closed.  He would have new cases to worry about.  “So, I won’t see you again then?”

“Trying to get rid of me already?”  He gave a puzzled smile, not quite tracking my sequence of thoughts.

Feeling my face flush, I hid behind my coffee mug, blowing on it to give me a moment to recover.  “No, I just meant… you have everything you need?”

“Oh yes.  It’ll be up to the DA whether or not you’ll be needed to testify.  If so his office will contact you as to where and when you’ll need to show.”

“You’ll be moving on to your next case then?”

“I’ve got enough on my plate to keep me busy, yes,” he nodded.

So that was it, possibly my last chance to confide in him.  If he thought I was nuts, then it was no great loss if I wouldn’t be seeing him again, was it?  It’s now or never…  I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to speak but he got to the punch first.

“Unless you have dinner with me tomorrow night.”

“Dinner tomorrow night?  With you?” I blinked at the unexpected invitation.

“Why not?” He gave me that smile I found so hard to resist.  “If you want, don’t feel like you have to or anything…”

“I want...” I interjected quickly, “I mean yeah, that sounds like fun, but I’m not sure if I have to work or…”  My work schedule was a little up in the air, I hadn’t thought that far ahead, hadn’t even talked to Parker about missing shifts.

He took my reply in stride.  “Okay, tell you what.  I’ll be down at Severino’s at say… seven o’clock tomorrow night.  If I see you there, great.  If not, that’s okay too, I’m used to eating alone.”  His hand flopped back and forth dismissively, letting me know there was no pressure, which I have to admit, I liked.  There was nothing worse than being put on the spot by a guy whose feelings I didn’t want to hurt.

“Severino’s at seven,” I nodded.  “Alright, I’ll try to make it.”  The promise was given, and I meant it, I really would try to make it.

“Great.”  Taking a deep drink of coffee, he rose to his feet.  “I should probably get going then.  Thanks for the coffee, Miss Renault.”  He sketched a half salute.

“It’s Mercy, remember?” I prompted him, walking him to the door.

“Right, Mercy,” he paused, “and you should call me Ben.”

“Ben,” I repeated with a nod, leaning against the door frame.  “Oh, hey, Ben?” I called out as he stepped through into the hallway.

“Yes?”

“Do you think I could get your personal number?  In case I’m running late or something comes up?  That way I don’t have to try you at the station.”

“Sure,” Ben grinned, drawing out his own phone.  His thumbs flew over the touchscreen and I heard a chirp from my back pocket.  “Check your cell phone.  I gotta run, I really hope to see you tomorrow.”  A final smile was given before he turned and headed for the stairs.

Pulling out my phone, I saw I had a new text message from him and pulled it up on the display.

*See you at seven*

I was halfway through putting the coffee things away when I realized I hadn’t said anything to him about my mystery man or any of the weirdness that plagued me since I woke in the hospital.

Chapter Five

“You gotta call her, Mercy, she’s driving me nuts,” Matt begged, pacing nervously in his cramped living room.  His apartment was decorated in Craigslist castoffs and whatever he could cart home off the street.  It wasn’t a place I liked to hang out in often, but I couldn’t say no when Matty invited me over after he’d been so worried about me in the hospital.

“Well, why do you answer your phone when you know she’s calling?”  I gave him an exasperated roll of the eyes.  Dodging calls from Mom was a regular pastime for us both, and normally he didn’t let it get to him.

“Because my display is messed up and I can’t tell who’s on the phone.”

“You could try getting a new phone.”

“Yeah, I’ll put that right on top of my Christmas wish list,” he snorted, and I was reminded his paycheck from the movie rental store didn’t stretch all that far.  But he was old enough to make his own decisions, and for him the perk of free movie rentals was worth a little bit of… creative financing, he liked to call it.  Robbing Peter to pay Paul, our mother would have said.  Matt was always behind on some kind of payment.

Not that I’m exactly rolling in dough at my job, but I did alright as long as I stayed the hell away from Costco.  Have you ever been in there?  It’s hard not to load up on a gross of bandaids just because they’re such a good deal.  In fact, everything’s such a good deal I deliberately let my membership lapse to keep from going into debt.  And don’t even get me started about outlet malls…

“Can’t you tell her I’m fine?”

“Sure I could, but she wants to hear it from you.  Just call her, Mercy.”

The last thing I felt like doing was spending all of my cell phone minutes listening to my mother cry in my ear about how none of this would have happened if she hadn’t left her baby all alone up in Seattle by her lonesome.  I could practically predict how the phone conversation would go, especially if she’d already been to happy hour, and I wasn’t looking forward to it at all.  “I’ll send her an email when I get home.”

“You know she won’t be happy ‘til she hears your voice.”

“Fine, I’ll call her when I get home,” I sighed.

“Christ, you don’t want her coming up here do you?”

“God no…” I blanched.  “Alright, I’ll call her tonight, I promise.”  After I know she’s already gone to bed…

“Mercy…” Matt fixed me with a stern look which was laughable coming from him.  Our mom never bent him out of shape as much as she did me for some reason.  He had the gift of being able to tune her out.  Me… I would get more and more frustrated until I said something stupid and ended up upsetting us both.

“What?  I said I’d call her.”

“Just call her now, get it over with.”

“Ugh, fine, have it your way.”  I gave a long suffering sigh as I dug out my cell phone.  “But no fair making faces at me while I talk to her,” I cautioned him, my own face growing stern.  Matty had a habit of making ridiculous comments he imagined Mom was saying on the other end of the phone and it was uncanny how close he came sometimes.

“Scouts honor.”  He laid a hand over his heart.

“You were never in the scouts,” I muttered, pulling up her number.  For the space of the next five heartbeats I prayed she wouldn’t pick up.  That she’d be content with hearing my voicemail and I could dodge that bullet altogether, but no such luck.  She picked up after the third ring.

Don’t get me wrong, like I said before, I love my mother.  I just can’t stand to be in the same state with her.  It’s not that she’s a horrible person, or she beat us with coat hangers or anything like that growing up.  It’s… complicated.  Let’s just say there were a lot of promises broken over the years, so Matty and I learned not to rely on her.  It didn’t help that I’d never been able to give up hurt feelings easily and she’d never learned the art of delivering an apology without a backhanded criticism.  But that’s a whole other story and one I don’t enjoy telling.

“Hi, Mom,” I injected a note of cheer into my voice.

“Merceline!  Thank God, I was so worried about you.  Haven’t you been getting any of my calls?”  She instantly burst into tears and I bit back the sigh of frustration that rose to my lips.

“I’m sorry, Mom, I’ve been taking it easy, you know?  I didn’t even have the phone with me until now, it was in my purse at work.”  A white lie, it was better than arguing over it for a half an hour or even worse, hurting her feelings.

“Do you need me to come up there, baby? Because I could borrow some money from Marie and fly up there if you need me to…”

“No!  No, I’m fine, I swear.”  My tongue almost tripped over itself trying to cut off that particular idea before it picked up too much steam.  The last thing I needed was my mother staying in my apartment with me, watching me like a hawk.   “Like I said, I’m taking it easy, and Matty’s here with me so there’s no need for you to…”

“It’s not the same as having your mother there to take care of you, baby.”

Don’t I know it…  “Yeah, I know, Mom, but I’m fine, really.  I’ll email you a picture so you can see how fine I am, okay?  Besides, you can’t afford to borrow more money from Aunt Marie, and before you know it we’ll see you for the holidays right?”  Of course by then she would probably have some perfectly plausible reason not to come up and see us.  That had held true for the past three years at any rate.

Her crying jag kicked up a notch, and I held the phone away from my ear, trading looks with Matty.  We’d descended into the ‘poor me’ part of the conversation already.  I guess I should be surprised I was even a little surprised.  Somehow I thought her concern for me would last a bit longer before she turned the conversation back to her.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I wish I could be there for you, things have been rough lately.”  What followed was a fifteen minute monologue about how she had her hours cut way back at work, and how her boss didn’t like her.  How she had trouble driving at night because her glasses were getting old and she hated going to the eye doctor.  And how her on again off again boyfriend was off again and she wasn’t sure if it would ever work out between them.

This was the part of the conversation where literally all that was required was to make the occasional sound of acknowledgement.  She didn’t actually want any helpful suggestions, that would only prolong things.  Matty had long ago learned how to do this, and would actually put the phone down and do something else for chunks of time.  Me, I could never quite get the hang of it.  Something in my natural temperament kept me from tuning her out completely, and it took all of my restraint to bite back my side of the conversation.  What do you say to someone who has an excuse for everything wrong in their lives?  Nothing.  That was the lesson I’d been trying to learn for the past twenty-six years.

So, I made little noises of support and let her talk until she ran out of steam.  Only then did I try and steer the conversation again.  “Well, I’m glad we had a chance to talk, Mom.”

“Me too, baby, me too.  We should talk more often.”

“Yeah, we really should.  I’m gonna go now, Matty’s making me dinner, I’d better make sure he doesn’t need a hand with anything.”  Matt gave me a look at that, but I held my finger up, threatening him not to say anything to the contrary that she might overhear.

“Alright, take care of yourself, Merceline.  Make good choices.”

“I will, Mom, I love you.”

“Love you too, baby.”

I fell back against the couch as I hung up the phone, more drained from that one conversation than I had been from my entire hospital escape.

“You want Golden Grahams or Spaghetti-O’s for dinner?” Matty raised a brow.

“Funny.”

* * *

I was leaving Matty’s place when I spotted my stranger.  Instead of lingering or watching for me, I got the sense that he was just walking, intent on something else.  His hands were shoved deep in his pockets, his shoulders hunched, as though he didn’t like the light drizzle that had sprung up during my visit with my brother.

For a moment I watched him, stunned to run into him in that part of town.  My own neighborhood, while not exactly upscale, was a good deal safer and nicer than Matty’s. I didn’t like to visit him at night unless he walked me to my car.  There were still at least two hours until dark, and my teeth worried at my bottom lip as I tried to decide if I had the guts to follow him as he’d been following me.

In the end curiosity won out, and I found myself tracing his footsteps.  I’d never followed anyone before, but I reasoned the more furtive and sneaky I looked, the easier it would be to get spotted.  So instead I walked along after him like I knew where I was going, albeit at a slightly slower pace to make sure I was far enough behind him that I didn’t show up in any store windows he might happen to look into.  It was difficult to get the speed right.  Too slow and I risked losing him when he turned the corner, too fast and he’d spot me for sure and God only knew what would happen then.  But I was desperate enough to see where he was going that I threw caution to the wind, hastening my pace.

It turned out I worried over it for nothing, as he seemed to be lost in his own world, hardly looking up at all as he walked with brisk steps down the sidewalk.  He tuned into a multi-story apartment building and I felt a flare of panic.

How in the hell was I gonna figure out which one was his?

Pretending I knew what I was doing, I slipped into the building, noting the row of mailboxes next to the elevator.  As I watched, the elevator continued its journey up, stopping on the fourth floor.  “Okay, Columbo, what now?” I murmured.

It was crazy.  I was in a bad part of town, following a guy who may or may not be real, into an unfamiliar building… to what end?  Still, I found myself pressing the elevator button, toes tapping with impatience for it to arrive.  The car was empty when it stopped on the ground floor and I stepped inside and pushed the button for the fourth floor.  In for a penny, in for a pound…

The ride was short, and the elevator doors opened to reveal… nothing.  An empty hallway.  What was I supposed to do, start knocking on doors?  Not exactly a safe prospect in any neighborhood.

I was about to rethink heading back to my car when two doors down, a little boy, maybe eight years old emerged, his arms loaded down with trucks he unceremoniously dumped onto the hallway floor.

Bingo.

I’ve never been one to approach strangers of any kind, remembering what my mother instilled upon me since birth.  At that moment, I hoped the kid’s mom hadn’t been quite so strict.

Approaching the boy hesitantly, I gave him what I hoped was a harmless looking smile, not in any way predatory.  “Hey, can I ask you something?”

The boy didn’t look up, he was too busy lining his trucks up into two meticulous lines, facing each other.

Undeterred, I forged on, nothing to lose.  “I’m looking for a friend of mine, he lives on this floor, but I forgot which apartment is his.”

Still no reaction from the kid, maybe he was deaf?  More likely the cars were much more interesting than I was.

“He’s tall, with blonde curly hair and blue eyes, he wears a long brown coat most of the time, have you seen him?”

“You mean the magician?” The boy asked without looking up.

Interesting…  I quickly tried to decide if I wanted to play dumb and hope he’d offer more details.  “Magician?  What makes you call him that?”

“Because he does tricks sometimes.”

“What kind of tricks?”  Curiouser and curiouser.

The boy looked up at me, his interest sparked.  “Once I saw him help a bird that flew into the window.”  He pointed to the window at the end of the hallway that was halfway open.  Thick metal security bars stood on the outside of the casing.  “It crashed into the window and fell on the sill and its wing was all messed up.  I saw him reach through and touch it and the bird got up and flew away.”  There was awe in his voice and from the look on his face I could see he believed every word that he said, verbatim.

The imaged sparked a memory for me, of the man standing over my bed, his hands on my abdomen…  “That’s him,” I nodded absently.  At least I’d found another person who could see him, and that was a relief in and of itself.  “So, which one is his apartment again?”

The boy pointed to the unit all the way at the end of the hall, near the window.

“Thanks kid,” I smiled, my stomach fluttering nervously as I walked to the door in question and knocked.  My heart beat like a jackhammer in my chest, the butterflies in my stomach having grown into swallows as I waited in anticipation.

Nothing happened.

Chewing on my bottom lip, I knocked again, my annoyance growing when still no answer came.  I pounded stubbornly again.  “I know you’re in there.  I’m not going away until you talk to me,” I called out in frustration.  For a moment I thought he’d completely ignore me but then the door opened and there he stood, still in his brown coat, clutching the door handle as if it was his safety line.

“Hi,” I said simply, not knowing what else to say as we stared at each other across the threshold.  He stood unmoving, just looking at me, an unfathomable expression on his face.   Then when I thought he might actually shut the door in my face, he turned and walked away, leaving the door wide open.  Taking that as the closest thing I was going to get to an invitation, I stepped inside, closing the door behind me.

To say that his apartment was sparse would be an understatement.  It was laid out as one big room that combined the kitchen, living room and dining room.  A pair of pocket doors on one side led to another room, intended to be a bedroom I assumed but it was difficult to tell what it was being used for with the lack of furniture.  There was no couch or television, no table or chairs, no furniture of any kind save a series of tall bookcases, filled to overflowing with books, one scarred and beat up recliner chair and a writing desk, piled high with more books and papers.

“This is your place?” I asked softly, stepping deeper into the room.  The walls were a dingy gray and I suspected they had once been painted white but had faded over time.  The wood floors were scarred and pitted, in need of refinishing and the kitchen’s appliances were dated, perhaps twenty years old or more, no sign of stainless steel or digital readouts in sight.  Still, the apartment didn’t look dirty exactly, just old and in need of a coat of paint, and maybe a good dusting.

“I live here, yes,” he nodded, his voice soft and low, as though he didn’t speak very often at full volume.  His eyes were on everything but me, as if he was afraid to meet my gaze.

The silence stretched between us as I looked around and when I realized he wasn’t going to say anything else, I took the direct approach.  “Why were you following me?”

“Why did you follow me?” he countered, his eyes finally looking up to meet mine when I spoke, curiosity written all over his face.

“I asked you first,” I insisted stubbornly.

“I asked you second.”  He said this very matter of factly, not being a smartass about it at all, which was the only reason why I didn’t turn on my heel and march out of there.

“I’m waiting for you to answer me,” I tried again, exercising my patience.

“I felt… responsible,” he answered after searching a moment for the right word.

“You were there in the hospital, weren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“You were dying.”  His voice held profound sadness, and I wondered how he could feel something so deeply about a complete stranger.  We stood closer to each other, though I don’t remember either of us moving.

I swallowed, looking up into those brilliant, blue eyes, the exact same shade as mine.  “If I was so close to dying, then how am I here now?”

“I could not let you die.”

“What do you mean you couldn’t let me die?”

“I used what Grace was given me to restore you, but it wasn’t enough.”

“I don’t understand…”  Though part of me did, I just wasn’t ready to accept it quite yet.

“I gave you more than I intended, it is forbidden…”

“What is?  Are you saying you’re responsible for healing me?”

“I couldn’t let you die after you helped me. I don’t know why…”  There was a puzzled look on his face as he reached up to brush my cheek with the back of his fingers.  The touch surprised me, but clearly disturbed him on a much deeper level and he stared at his fingers as if the touch burned him.

The conflicting emotions I got from him confused the hell out of me, but he looked just as troubled and walked away, turning his back on me.  “You should leave,” he said in a pained voice.

He obviously didn’t know me very well.

“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what the hell you’re talking about,” I snorted.

That got his attention and he turned to face me again from the safety across the room.  “What do you know of hell?” His head canted to one side as he studied me.

“Why do you always answer a question with a question?”

His lips quirked a bit. “You just did that very same thing.  It is… frustrating.”

“Yeah, no kidding… hence my asking you repeatedly to tell me what you’re talking about.”  I raised a brow at him expectantly.

“I healed you… but the Grace clung to you, changed you… do you feel it?”

“Feel what exactly?”  I did feel different, but couldn’t begin to verbalize it in terms that made sense to me, let alone trying to explain it to someone else.  “What did it do to me?  This… Grace.”

“It has made you something new,” he answered simply.

Made me something new?  I took a deep breath, fighting the rising panic as it sounded like something a little more life altering than being healed.  “Can you please try and be more specific?”

“I cannot say.  New is… new.”  A helpless shrug was given, and he looked back at me so earnestly, I let go of my frustration with him.  He seemed as lost as I was.

Instead I moved over to his desk to sit down, my eyes sweeping over the books there.  A large number of them were religious texts, but some were on other subjects from gardening to popular fiction.  The largest of them lay open, the page only half inscribed, an inkwell and old fashioned writing stylus sat on the desk beside them.

I turned back a few pages, finding more of the precise script with remarkably detailed illustrations depicting angels with wings outstretched.  But not the glowy angels with halos who appeared with trumpets and words from above, or sweet cheeked cherubs shooting valentine’s hearts at people, but fierce angels armed for battle with swords drawn.  Every bit as fearsome as they were beautiful.

“Those are not meant for human eyes.”  He was suddenly at my side, pressing the book closed.  His statement seemed to imply that he was not, in fact, human.  A concept that grew easier to accept by the moment.

“Are my eyes still human?”  I looked up at him, worried by the flicker of doubt that crossed his face at my question.  Picking up another book, I opened it to the place marked by a red silk ribbon.

Jude 1:6 And the angels which kept not their first estate, but left their own habitation, he hath reserved in everlasting chains under darkness unto the judgment of the great day.

Written in the margins in the same flowing script was inscribed: And now I fear I am doomed to remain Fallen…

“Fallen…”  My lips moved as I read the last word.  Was my mysterious stranger a fallen angel?  My eyes flew up to his face.  He certainly was beautiful enough to be an angel, and he had an otherworldly quality about him with his mannerisms and speech.  There was the fact that Alexei hadn’t been able to see him in the market, and he’d healed me when I’d been at death’s door.

It was clear he didn’t live like a normal person, there was no bed in the bedroom, no real furniture and I was willing to bet if I opened the fridge or the cupboards in the kitchen I’d find them bare of food.  And then there was the golden glow that emanated from him.  I hadn’t seen anything like it among anyone else I’d encountered since I’d started seeing the auras or whatever the glowing colors were.

“You’re an angel?”

“I was.”

“But you’re not anymore?”  I hadn’t even known such a thing was possible.  “Is that why you’re Fallen?  Because of what you did for me?” The thought occurred to me suddenly.

“No.”  He didn’t elaborate, and I got the distinct impression it wasn’t an open topic for conversation.

“So, what does that make me now?”

“I do not know, I have never seen the likes of you before in all my long days.”

“Can you take it back?”

He seemed intrigued by the question.  “Would you want me to?” His head cocked to the side again.

“Well…”  Without knowing what it was exactly, it was hard to answer the question.  My mind attacked the problem as it always did, trying to find some order in the chaos.  “Let’s try to figure out what it was you did to me.  You said something about Grace… that it clung to me and changed me.  Changed me how?  I mean besides my eye color.”

“You are no longer human, you are more than human now.”

I sucked in a breath at hearing it spelled out so calmly.  “So, I’m an angel?”

He shook his head.  “No, you are a new thing.”

He’d already said that, and it wasn’t getting me much closer to figuring out how it would affect me in day to day life.  It wasn’t that he was trying to be difficult on purpose, but I felt like we were talking in circles, and I wasn’t sure what questions to ask to get the right answers from him.

“Okay, let’s break this down… Wait, what do I call you?”  I realized I had no idea what his name was.

“Sam.”

“Sam?  That’s it?” I blinked, having expected something more elaborate for a supernatural creature.

“My given name is Samael, but I have not used that name for some time.”

“Samael,” I repeated, deciding that it sounded suitably angelic.  Something flitted across his face when I called him by his full name, but it was gone just as quickly.  “I’m Merceline, but you can call me Mercy.”  I offered my hand.

His lips twitched in what I took for amusement as he reached out and closed his hand around mine but did not shake it.  His touch was warm and comforting and called to mind the dream I had in the hospital of his holding my hand at night.  Maybe there was more to it than I thought?

It was odd to think of him watching over me, my own personal guardian angel, even if he was Fallen, whatever that meant exactly.  I supposed it explained why I felt such a connection to him, knowing he’d shared a part of himself with me, for reasons beyond my comprehension.

“Okay, you’re a fallen angel. Do you have wings?”

“Of course,” he replied but didn’t elaborate further.  There was no sign of them, no bulge in his coat that indicated they might be held close to his body or anything like that.

“Can I see them?” I prompted, wondering what they’d look like.  Would they be snowy white like a dove?  Or dark, given his Fallen status?

“No.”  Sam shook his head, dashing my hopes on that score.  I waited for an explanation as to why not, but again, he didn’t elaborate.

“Is there a reason why you can’t show me?

“It’s a sin of pride to display them when not needed.”

I gave a roll of the eyes.  “Fair enough.  Do all angels have blue eyes?”

“They do.  Is that significant?”

“I don’t know, but until your Grace hit me, my eyes were brown,” I shrugged.

“I remember,” Sam murmured, staring down at me.  “I remember the way they clouded with pain.”  He looked disturbed by the memory.

“But you left me there.”  I couldn’t help but point out.

“I did not want to.”  His hand came up and I thought he was going to touch my face again but just as quickly he snatched it back.  His mood swings confused the hell out of me.  “I had to, the authorities were coming.”

I believed him, especially given the way he’d sought me out in the hospital when he could have easily left me there without another thought.  “Wait… you were stabbed too… are you alright?” I remembered suddenly.

“Yes, I was never in any real danger.  We heal considerably faster than humans do.”

Digesting that for a moment, I wondered if that would translate to me?  Sure I had been healed from a terrible injury in a matter of hours, but if I cut myself, would my body heal itself like magic?  I didn’t ask him, because I already knew what the answer would be.  Instead I asked him something I thought he would know.  “Why did you do it?   Not that I’m not grateful, because I am.  But why all this interest in me?  I’m not anything special, I’m just me.”

To my disappointment, I’d apparently presented him with another difficult question.  Sam struggled to find a suitable reply but in the end, he simply shook his head.  “I don’t know.”

“What happens now?” I sighed, rising from the chair and moving to look at some of the other names of the books in his collection.

“I am not a prophet,” he blinked.

“I didn’t mean…” I shook my head, a smile forming on my lips at his literal mind.  “I meant with us, are you gonna keep following me?  Because if you are, maybe we could arrange to meet ahead of time and we could walk together?” I teased him lightly.

A smile lit up his face and it was dazzling to behold.  He truly was a beautiful figure of a man, though technically not a man at all was he?  “Does it bother you?”

“What, you following me?”

Sam nodded, his eyes moving over my face.

“It is a little creepy, yes.”

He digested that for a moment.  “Creepy is bad?”

“Yeah, in general creepy is bad.”  I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Okay, that is good to know.”  He was already starting to change his speech a little, I’d noticed, using words I’d been using.

“Maybe next time call me if you start to feel responsible for me again?”

“Call you?” Sam blinked, and just as quickly I was reminded how out of touch he was.

“Yeah, on the phone.  Wait… you do have a phone don’t you?”  I looked around, there was no sign of a phone but I figured he must have a cell.  Didn’t everyone?

“No, should I get one?” he asked innocently, that lost puppy look back on his face again.

“Well sure, how do you call people you want to talk to?”

“I have never had to call anyone before.”

“Never?”  The idea was inconceivable to me, I loved my phone.  Sometimes I would sit and scroll through pictures and music when I was bored, I couldn’t even imagine my life without my cell phone.  “Is this what you do all day?  Read and write in your books?”  He certainly had a lot of them.

“Some days,” he admitted.

“How do you live?”

Sam blinked at that one, “I am immortal, I cannot die.”

“No, I mean what do you do for money?”  I hid a smile behind my hand.

“Oh money,” he nodded in understanding.  “I have a friend who helps me with money.”

“Sounds like a nice friend to have,” I murmured, picking out another book but it was in a language I couldn’t read.

“Nice is not the word I would use for him.”

“I thought he was your friend?”

“He is, one of my oldest living friends,” Sam nodded, not catching the distinction.  Then again, who was I to judge?  Some of my friends weren’t all that nice either.

“What were you doing in that alleyway?” I asked suddenly.  What would an angel be doing with a scumbag like Charles Weatie?  Even a Fallen one?

His face became shuttered then, and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking in the slightest.  The silence stretched on between us and I came to realize he had no intention of even offering up an excuse as to why he wasn’t answering.

“You’re not going to answer me?” I pressed, a frown tugging at my lips.

“Do you always ask this many questions?”  Sam pinched the bridge of his nose and I had to wonder, did angels get migraines?  He certainly looked like he was in pain.

“Are you alright?”  I took a step towards him but he took a step backwards, maintaining that cushion of space between us.

“Perhaps you should go.”  There was a plea in his voice that caught at me and I nodded, giving him one last look before I moved past him to the door.  Pausing there, my back to him, I waited to see if he would say anything else.  On the chance we would never speak again, I wanted one thing said.  In the silence, I spoke, my words little more than a whisper.

“Thank you.”

All the way home I thought about our strange exchange, what had been said and what hadn’t.  There were so many questions, and it killed me to leave him with so many of them unanswered.

As I stepped into my apartment, my thoughts turned to Ben and my dinner plans with him for the next night.  The two men couldn’t be more different, Sam representing the strange and unusual things that happened to me since the stabbing, and Ben representing the much more mundane life I was desperate to recapture.

Lying in my bed that night, I resolved to put Sam from my mind for the time being.  If he wanted to follow me out of a misguided sense of responsibility, well then fine.  I would focus on the man who wanted to spend time with me not watching me.  I was gonna pick up my life where I’d left it off.  There was no reason the Grace had to change the way I lived my life.  I could get used to the colors I was seeing (damn, I’d forgotten to ask him about that…).  Lots of people had blue eyes, and I would just stay away from doctors for the time being.  I would leave Sam to his lurking angel business, stop bothering him with questions he didn’t seem able or willing to answer.  I would go back to work and all of it would become nothing more than a distant memory.  A strange anecdote to tell my grandchildren some day.

Yeah, none of that happened.

Chapter Six

It was never a good sign when Parker called me on my cell phone.  In my experience, bosses never called to shoot the breeze or ask how your day off was going or if you’d seen the new Ryan Reynolds movie.  It was almost always a plea to come in because someone was sick or fired, and in general I tended to let his calls go to voicemail.

Only that time I picked up because I felt like I owed him some kind of discussion on when I’d be back to work.  Having a couple of days off had been nice to catch my breath and take it easy, but sooner or later (sooner, once I thought about it) I was gonna run out of my limited sick days, and I needed to start earning a paycheck again.

“Hey Parker,” I smiled into the phone because Daphne taught me that when you smiled on the phone it made your tone more pleasant (a trick of the trade for her job).

“There’s my girl.”  Parker greeted me with more cheer than I’d been expecting.  “How are you feeling?”

Could he really be calling me just to see how I felt?  “I’m doing okay, better than I expected to be.  How are things at work?”  Mimsy roused herself from where she’d been curled up at the foot of the bed with a long stretch and came up to nudge her head against the bottom of the phone in a bid for attention.  Obediently, I scratched under her chin.

“You wouldn’t believe the shitstorm that’s come down around the bar from the cops.  They shut us down completely until I could install proper lighting outside.”  I could tell he was still agitated about it and I practically heard him running his fingers through his dark blonde hair.  Parker was in his mid thirties, good looking with green eyes and a sexy smile.  If he hadn’t been my boss I might have gone out with him once or twice, only that’s all it would have been, once or twice.  He wasn’t exactly what girls liked to call relationship material and he made no bones about it.

“I’m sorry…” I began.

“Shit no, I’m not blaming you for getting stabbed, sweetheart.”  He was quick to interject.  “Just you know, you asked.”

“Are you still shut down?”

“No, I had the lights put in the next day and we’ve been back open ever since.”  Parker wasn’t one to miss the opportunity to make a buck.  “Everyone’s been asking about you.  Christ, I had to practically chain Walter to the door to keep him from following after the ambulance,” he chuckled and I could almost picture it.  Poor Walter, he must have been worried sick.  He really was a sweet guy.

“Well, please tell him and everyone I’m fine, really.”

“That’s what I like to hear.”  I could hear the smile in his voice and I wondered if he was actually smiling on his end.  “So, I was wondering…”

Here it came, that actual reason for the call.  “Yes?” I asked innocently, making him work for it.

“I’ve had Alice filling in for you behind the bar and you know I love her, but…”

“Uh huh?”  It was almost fun playing dumb like I didn’t know what was coming.

“She’s slow as shit.”  He gave a long suffering sigh.  “When are you coming back to us, angel?”

His choice of words made me laugh, more than I should have.  “The doctor said she thought I should be off another couple of weeks…”  I couldn’t resist teasing him.

“Oh.”  Parker sounded like I just stole his lucky charm and tossed it in the Sound.  “Alice made it seem like you were up and around when she dropped off your purse.”

“Well… I might be able to come in sooner…”

“When?”  I could picture his face as surely as if he’d been standing before me.  His green eyes would be blazing with intensity, trapping me so that I had to answer before he let me go.

“When did you need me to come back in?” I hedged.

“Tonight?”

I couldn’t exactly tell him I had a date.  If I was well enough to go on a date I should be well enough to come to work.  Of course I could tell him I didn’t feel up to it yet, but if he somehow found out about the date then I’d never hear the end of it.  I did hate to lie to him, and I did need the money…  Ben would understand, I was sure of it, and I felt pretty confident I could make it up to him with a raincheck.

The silence stretched on the line as I mulled it over.  “Still with me, darlin’?  Parker prompted gently.

“Sure, I can do that.”

“That’s my girl,” he crowed in relief.  “You are a life saver.  I’ll see you at six then, ‘kay?”

“I’ll be there.”

It was with a heavier heart that I pulled up Ben’s number, I really had been looking forward to seeing him again.  The call went straight to voicemail, and even though I hated breaking the date without talking to him, I wanted to give him as much notice as possible.  I left a brief message, letting him know that I had to work unexpectedly but I was looking forward to rescheduling as soon as possible.  Satisfied my life was returning somewhat to normal, I spent the rest of the day on simple household chores before I had to get ready for work.

The club was already open, but slow when I arrived and there was plenty of time to chit chat with my coworkers and catch up on all the gossip I missed out on over the past week.  It turned out I was the major source of gossip though, and I spent most of my time talking instead of listening.  I did find out that workers compensation would take care of my medical bills since I was on the job at the time I was stabbed and that was a huge relief even if the stack of paperwork was a bit daunting.

Walter was predictably glad to see me and it was interesting to see him with my new ability.  His aura was a pretty turquoise with a ring of warm pink at the center.  Alice was a pale yellow that reminded me of my brother’s aura.  Parker was a dark, muddy looking orange with flecks of bright green.  He looked immeasurably relieved to see me and even pulled me into a brief one armed hug when I stepped into his office to put away my coat and purse.  Our other two waitresses, Kara and Jilly weren’t in yet.

I hoped it might be a slow night to help me ease back into it, but being Saturday night, things picked up quickly and soon I was up to my elbows in drink requests.  Whether it was to keep the crowd happy, or to help me out, Parker stepped behind the bar for a while and helped serve drinks when we were at our busiest.  It had been known to happen before, but I could count the number of times on my fingers in the two years I’d been working at Eden.

At first it was difficult to concentrate with the myriad of colors from the people lined up at the bar and on the dance floor, but after a while it became easier to get used to.  I was still learning what the colors meant, but some of the more obvious colors leapt out at me.  Anyone with a deep red was likely to be volatile or rude but not necessarily violent.  Anyone with black or brown spots was a little more dangerous.  After watching Walter break up a few fights, I learned to spot them in the crowd and give him a discreet point in the right direction to keep an eye on individuals I thought we might have a problem with.

It was the first practical use for my new ability and I started to enjoy it as an extra perk.  Another thing I noticed was that I was being hit on a lot.  It was one of the job hazards of being in a club environment.  There were a lot of single guys there looking to pick someone up and after a few drinks and a few rejections, a lot of them invariably turned their attention to me.  Only it seemed like I was getting a lot of people looking at me to start with, not as a last resort.

I’m realistic enough about myself to know that I’m pretty and I’ve had my share of men pursue me before but I’ve never been what you would call a sex kitten.  Even with the uniforms Parker made us wear for work I never felt overtly sexy, but I caught men’s eyes straying to my cleavage and my legs as I worked, or staring at me in general.  Maybe I was being paranoid but I had to shoot down quite a few potential suitors that wanted more than my phone number.  But I couldn’t complain about the tips, I made more in a couple of hours than I made on most nights.

Things were going along well, and I enjoyed getting back into the swing of things, hips swaying to the music that blared from the dance floor.

And then I spotted him.

My mysterious stranger stood out like a sore thumb in his overcoat, sitting by himself at a little round table.  Our eyes met and he gave me a hesitant smile.  Smiling back, I waved Alice over, filling a glass with draft beer.  “Hey Alice, you see that guy sitting by himself in the brown coat?”

“Oh him?  I asked him what he wanted before but he just looked at me,” she snickered.

“Take this over to him, okay?  My treat.”

Her eyes widened a little in surprise. “Sure thing.”  Accepting the beer onto her tray, she moved off to set the drink before him.  Sam stared at the beer as if he’d never seen one before.

Stifling a giggle, I lost sight of him for a while as I had to deal with other customers.  From time to time I spared him a glance and he was still sitting there, the beer untouched, either watching me, or the dancers out on the floor.

“Hey, I’m gonna take a break, okay?”  I finally called out to Parker who gave me a nod.  Heading over to Sam’s table, I sat down across from him without being asked.  After all, he hadn’t asked to follow me everywhere.  “Hi,” I smiled, pulling my long hair up and away from my neck to cool off.

“Hi,” he called back, watching my every move.  For whatever reason the heat didn’t seem to bother him, but then again he was neither dancing nor working, so there wasn’t much reason for him to be overheated like I was.

“Can’t you drink?” I gestured to the beer on the table.

“I can, but I do not need to.”

Interesting fact that confirmed my earlier theory.  “Then why did you come here tonight?” I asked, though I suspected I already knew the reason.

“To see you,” he answered readily enough.

“Why?”  My head canted to one side and I was reminded of how he had studied me in his apartment.

His brows drew together as he puzzled over that question.  “I don’t know.  I have been thinking of you often.”  Maybe it was just me but he didn’t seem all that happy about it.  “I feel… protective over you.”

“Well, I’m fine, I can take care of myself.”

“Do you always dress that way for work?”

I frowned at that, there was nothing wrong with the way I was dressed.  I’d seen plenty of skimpier work outfits at other clubs.  All the women employees at Eden wore black vests with no undershirt but they were cut so that all of our important parts were well covered.  Unless you unbuttoned a few buttons, which a few of our waitresses had been known to do.  For my part I kept them buttoned up, I did too much bending over in my job to allow for too much cleavage to come tumbling out.  For bottoms we could wear any kind of black skirt we wanted as long as it was above the knees but long enough to cover the essentials.  I usually favored something in between and wore them with a pair of black flats.  Even with the rubber floor pads behind the bar, being on your feet for eight hours took its toll in heels.

Sure my arms were bare as well as a strip of midriff and I sometimes flashed a bit of leg as I reached for something high behind the bar but I wasn’t indecent and it pricked at my temper a little that he was judging me.  “What’s wrong with the way I’m dressed?”  My eyes narrowed at him.

“Nothing.”  Sam looked surprised by my tone and leaned back a few inches as though he was almost afraid of me.  “You look very comely.”

“I look what?”

“Beautiful,” he amended after a brief search for a more appropriate word.

“Oh.”  I didn’t expect to hear him say that, I suppose a brief shot of Catholic guilt made me think he wouldn’t approve.  I was the one unfairly judging him.

“I merely wondered because you wore something similar when I first saw you.”

“Ah, gotcha.”  Something flickered over his face and I wasn’t sure if he understood the expression but I chose not to elaborate unless he asked me to.  “Was there something you wanted to talk to me about in particular?”

“No.”

Again that seemed to be all I was going to get from him, so I smiled and shook my head.  “Do you want to dance?”  I jerked my head towards the dance floor.  It wasn’t something I usually did while working, but then again I didn’t normally have visitors at work either.

Sam looked appalled at the idea, his gaze riveted to the bodies swaying on the dance floor.  “No,” he repeated.

“Okay… Well, it was nice seeing you again.  I gotta get back to work.  I’ll see you later.”

He almost looked like he wanted to say something else, but he just watched me rise from my chair.

As an afterthought I picked up the beer and took a long drink before heading back to the bar.  Might as well get some use out of it if he wasn’t going to drink it.

“Who’s your friend?” Parker asked, with a nod towards Sam when I slipped back behind the bar.

“Secret admirer.”  I smiled mysteriously, returning to my job.  The next time I looked up in Sam’s direction, he was gone, the beer glass empty on the table.  The rest of the night passed in a blur.  The club was hoppin’ with business and I had little time to think about Sam or anything else.

After the club closed down, my work station cleaned up and prepped for the next day, I retrieved my coat and purse from Parker’s office, noting with a frown that I’d missed three calls from Ben.  Three seemed excessive, even if he was broken up about my breaking the date with him, but I dialed up my voicemail to listen to what he had to say.

The first message was an acknowledgement of mine, saying he was sorry but understood and hoped we could set something else up soon.  The second message was a bit more obscure, it asked me to call him as soon as I got the message, no matter what the hour was.  The third message sounded even more strained, as if he was worried about me or something important.  Again he asked me to call him no matter how late it was once I got the message.  Without waiting any longer I called him back.

“Mercy, thank God,” Ben answered, and a knot of worry settled into the pit of my stomach.

“What is it?  What’s going on?”

“Sorry, I’ve been up to my eyeballs in… you know what, nevermind.  Look, I wanted to tell you as soon as I found out.  Charles Weatie was released on bail today.”

I froze, unsure what to say to that.  All I could think of was the guy who had refused to press charges against him.  Would Weatie come after me?  Obviously the thought crossed Ben’s mind too or he wouldn’t have called me so urgently.

“Mercy?  Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” I swallowed, trying to make my voice sound stronger than I felt.  “I thought you said you had enough to hold him?”

“We did, but he managed to come up with bail, over two hundred G’s.  I honestly didn’t think he had that kind of juice behind him.  I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I replied, feeling anything but.

“Look, it’s probably nothing.  He’ll want to walk the straight and narrow until his trial comes up.  But I wanted you to know about it, and to tell you to be careful, alright?”

I nodded into the phone before I realized he couldn’t hear me.  “I know how to be careful.  But thanks.”

“Do you want me to come and pick you up from work?”

“No, I’ll be fine, it’s late.  I’ll get someone to walk me to my car and I’ll keep an eye out.  What are the odds he even knows who I am and where I live?”

He was silent long enough for me to start to have doubts on that score, but then he replied.  “Listen, I was thinking.  Since we missed out on dinner tonight, how about you meet me for breakfast tomorrow?”

“You think I’m in so much danger you gotta babysit me, huh?”  I tried for a joke.

“Maybe I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”

“Yeah, I’ve been getting that a lot lately,” I muttered, thinking of Sam.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.  Breakfast sounds good, but I won’t be up super early, occupational hazard.”

“That’s alright, I’ve learned to eat whenever I get the chance.  How about a brunch then?  Elevenish at Lolly’s Diner?”

“That sounds good, it’s a date,” I smiled tiredly.

“Text me when you’re locked up safe for the night, okay?”

“I will,” I promised.  “Goodnight Ben.”

“Goodnight Mercy, be safe.”

“That’s my plan.”

* * *

I’d hoped to ask Walter to walk me to my car but he was already gone by the time I got out of Parker’s office.  In fact, the place looked deserted, most of the lights dimmed except for the lights behind the bar and up in the DJ booth.  “Hello?” I called out, surprised at how my voice carried across the empty club.

“Up here.”  I heard Parker call out from the DJ booth.

Crossing the dance floor, I went up to the booth where Parker lay on his back, adjusting something under the console.

“Hey,” I smiled down at him.  Parker is a hands on kind of guy.  If he can fix it himself and save a buck, he will.

“Hey, darlin’.  How are you feeling?  You seemed to keep up pretty good,” he commented from under there.

“I’m okay, a little tired, but no more than usual,” I admitted.  It was crazy to think I almost died a few days before.

“Good,” Parker said shortly, intent on his work.

“So, I was wondering, could you maybe walk me to my car?”

That got his attention, and he leaned up on his elbows, head ducking out to catch sight of me.  “Something wrong?”

“The cops called, that guy got out on bail.  It’s probably nothing but…”

“Sure I can, no problem,” he answered readily.  “Give me a minute to finish this and I’ll lock up and leave with you.”

“Thanks,” I smiled more to myself than him because he was already ducking back under there again.  It surprised me that he was willing to leave already, because I knew a ton of paperwork awaited him, but I guessed he’d leave it for the next day.  He really was a good guy at heart, we just didn’t get much of an opportunity to see that side of him on a day to day basis.  Idly I wondered why that was, while I waited for him.

I knew he wasn’t a completely selfish bastard, bent on the bottom line and nothing else, but it was definitely the vibe he put out, at least to the new hires.  But he was also more than willing to help out with a cash advance when someone got in a financial jam.  And when Marci (one of our past waitresses), left to get married, he’d thrown her a reception at the club, closing it down for a big private party, free of charge.  Why did people put forth only parts of themselves?

I still mulled that over when he came out of the booth, wiping his hands off on his pants.  In a few minutes we were out in the parking lot.  While he locked up, my eyes strayed to the shadows, nervously expecting something to jump out at us at any moment.  We were obliged to park at the far end of the parking lot, the closer spots reserved for paying customers only.  Even Parker kept his car at the far end though he could have easily taken the perk and parked closer.

“You okay, kid?”

I couldn’t help but jump at his voice by my ear, I hadn’t even heard him finish with the door and come up behind me.  “I’m fine, just a little weirded out by this guy,” I replied, falling into step beside him as we walked to our cars.  Mine a beat up Ford Escort that was old enough to vote.  His silver Camaro, less than a year old, was prettier than anything I owned.

“You want me to follow you home, make sure you get there alright?”  There he was surprising me again.

“No, don’t be silly, I’ll be fine.  I’m a little jumpy is all.”

“You sure?  I could come up and we could… rub each other’s feet or something.” He gave me a wolfish grin.

Really?  He was using it as an excuse to hit on me?  “Parker… I’m not even gonna start to explain in how many ways that’s a bad idea,” I began.

“What?  I’m just talking about seeing you home safe.”  An innocent expression replaced the predatory grin.

“Uh huh.  And who’s gonna keep me safe from you?” I smirked.

“Can’t blame a guy for trying.”  Parker smiled goodnaturedly, and I wondered if the come on had been for my benefit to get me to relax or if he really was interested?  Either way, he was my boss and there was no way I was going to go there, sexy smile or no.  Still, I did feel easier as we approached my car without incident.

“Thanks again, Parker, I’ll see you on Tuesday night.”  Sundays and Mondays were my usual days off.

“No problem, kid.  Take it easy,” he waved, already moving towards his car.

Chapter Seven

The drive home went smooth as silk, and there was no sign of anyone suspicious around my apartment building.   It was a little surprising to find no sign of Sam anywhere around, but just as quickly as that thought popped up I pushed it from my mind.  I had gotten along fine for twenty-six years, I could certainly make it home without a heavenly escort.  Feeling pleasantly tired, I was eager to get to bed and wake up in time for my brunch date with Ben.  Going through my normal nighttime routine, I washed my face and brushed my teeth, changing into a tank top and loose fitting sleep pants.

To this day I don’t know for sure how long he’d been in there, watching me change or if he’d just stepped into my bedroom.  But when I looked up, I saw him standing in my doorway… my attacker.  His aura seemed even more diseased and virulent than before, if that was possible, the effect mirrored in his eyes that burned with something dark and terrible.

I backed up towards the bed, trying to draw him away from the doorway.  My hope was I could somehow get past him, though I had no idea how to actually accomplish it.

Weatie stepped forward, a faint smile on his face.  “There now, you don’t look like you’ve been attacked at all, not a scratch on you from what I could see.”  Yeah, he’d seen me change alright, or was he just trying to get a rise out of me?  “Don’t make me hurt you, I don’t want to hurt you.”  His hands came up in a supplicating gesture, but I could see in his eyes that he did, he was looking for an excuse to hurt me.  He would enjoy hurting me the way some people enjoyed painting with watercolors or playing golf.  It was part of who he was.

“Shit…” I took another backwards step.

“I need you to forget you ever saw me in that alley, can you do that for me, honey?” he asked in a reasonable tone.  “Better yet, how about that other guy attacked you and I stepped up to help?  Pulled the knife out of you, yeah, I like that.  That makes me the hero type, I like that a lot.  You think you can remember all of that, girlie?”

It was almost worse when he spoke in such a reasonable tone, that scared me more than if he’d been growling or menacing.  “I could do that…” I nodded, voice shaking as my legs backed up against the bed.  I was willing to say anything in that moment if it kept him from attacking me, but somehow I didn’t think I’d get off so lucky.

“Good, you’re an obedient little thing aren’t you? I like that.”  He took a step closer, then another.

Running out of places to go, I backed up onto the bed, moving steadily away from him.

“On the bed, I like where you’re going with that,” he smiled his approval while my stomach lurched.  “Your name is Mercy isn’t it?  I like that too.  I could use a little mercy, Mercy.”

A soft cry escaped my lips as I scurried backwards, and as my feet cleared the edge of the bed he was on me, pinning me beneath him.  My hands came up to push against his shoulders, for all the good it did, he seemed impossibly strong.  I opened my mouth to scream, and he clamped a hand over my mouth.

“You know how to beg for mercy, Mercy?  I like to hear a woman scream, but we don’t have time for that today.”  His other hand was busy, and not at all gentle like his tone of voice.

Tears burned my eyes as I struggled beneath him, having trouble breathing with the restrictive hand over my mouth.  Even though it wouldn’t do any good, I found myself screaming against his hand, shoving with all my weight, every muscle and tendon straining against him.  Every fiber of my being intent on pushing him away made absolutely no difference, he was far too strong for me.

So you can understand my utter shock and amazement when all of a sudden there was a blindingly, white flash of light and he fell slack against me.

I gave another great heave and he rolled back against my bed, temporarily knocked out but starting to stir already, a groan issuing from his throat as he brought a hand to his head.  Not needing any more invitation than that, I flew off the bed, backing towards the door, unwilling to take my eyes off of him.  I had no idea what happened, but I didn’t want to stick around and find out how long it would last.

Luckily, I had the presence of mind to grab my purse and coat on the way out of the apartment, I only wish I’d been smart enough to think of shoes.  All the way down the stairs I kept expecting him to grab me from behind and drag me back into my apartment, but I was too scared to look back and check if he was following me.  As my bare feet slapped against the cold, wet sidewalk, I slowed enough to dig my keys out of my coat pocket.

My heart pounded a mile a minute while my shaking fingers tried to get the right key into my car door.  Right about then I was wishing for a newer car with a remote to unlock the door, but truth be told, I just hoped to God the car would start at all.  Finally, I got the thing open and felt a measure of comfort at locking the door, feeling the solid metal and glass insulating me from the cold, and more importantly, from Charles Weatie.

Daring to dart a glance at the building’s exterior door, I couldn’t see him anywhere, and took that as a good sign.  For a change, my old Escort roared to life on the first try and my murmured words of praise for the little maroon car were immediately swallowed by the gunning of the engine as I peeled out of there.  It was a good three blocks before I relaxed enough to pry my hands from the steering wheel and dug for the cell phone in my purse.

I should point out that I do know you’re not supposed to drive while on your phone in the state of Washington unless you’re on a Bluetooth.  All I can say in my defense, is I’d rather have paid for a ticket if it brought a cop to my side at that particular moment, than to stop and make the call with that psycho out there after me.  As it was, the traffic was light enough at that late hour that I wasn’t in great danger of running into anyone anyway.  Still, I waited until I hit my first traffic light to scroll through for Ben’s number.  “Come on pick up…” I muttered nervously as it rang, toes twitching against the brakes as I waited for the light to turn green.

Ben answered after the third ring, his tone low and urgent.  “What’s wrong?”

“He was here, he was in my house.”  My voice shook more than I would have liked, adrenaline still pumping like mad.

“Who, Weatie?”

“Yes, he was in my bedroom,” I swallowed, forcing myself not to speed forward when the light changed, but obey the speed limit.  I was safe, right?

“Christ… are you… did he…?”  Ben didn’t seem to want to come right out and ask if I’d been assaulted.  I couldn’t blame him, I couldn’t imagine how the call would have gone if that divine intervention hadn’t happened.  At least I assumed it was divine intervention, who knew what Sam’s Grace had done to me?

“No, I’m fine, I got away, but… I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where to go.  I can’t go to Matty’s, what if he comes after him too?”  My words tumbled out on top of each other.

“Alright, calm down, where are you now?”

“I’m in my car driving south on Southeast Harold.  I know, I’m not supposed to drive and talk on the phone but…”

“Jesus, I don’t care about that, Mercy.  I’m just glad you’re safe,” Ben sighed, and I got the impression he was tugging on some clothes.  “Drive down to the precinct and tell them you’re waiting for me.  I’m going to call this in and we’ll send a car over to your apartment to check it out.  I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

His voice was calm and soothing and had the desired effect.  With a destination in mind I felt far more in control of the situation.  “Okay, will do.  Thanks Ben.”  It struck me that I hadn’t even known where our local police precinct was before it all started going down.  It didn’t take long for me to get there, and it ended up being a case of hurry up and wait.

Ben arrived about twenty minutes after I’d gotten there and I had to resist the urge to hug him, I was so happy to see him.  “So?  Did they catch him?” I asked anxiously, abandoning my untouched Styrofoam cup of sour coffee.

“I’m sorry, Mercy.  There wasn’t any trace of him when the black and white got there.  They’re still canvassing the area, but it doesn’t look good.”  He used that comforting voice again, but the look behind his eyes was grim.

I nodded slowly, digesting that.  How was I supposed to go home?  How was I supposed to ever feel safe in my apartment again with him out there?

“Were they able to tell how he got into my apartment?”

“I don’t know yet, I don’t have the full report in, but I’ll try and find out for you.  Sit tight, I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

I nodded again, retaking my seat in the conference room.  I wondered if they interrogated people in there, it was just a room with a small table and three chairs.  There was no telltale two way mirror though, only a window to the hallway outside.  Bringing my feet up under me, I wrapped my arms around my knees, hugging them for warmth.  The bottoms of my feet were black and I hated to think what I might have picked up from the grimy precinct floor.  But really, that was the least of my worries for the moment.

Staring at the clock, I zoned out, crashing once the spike of adrenaline faded.  I almost started to doze off when Ben came back in.  “So?”

“I was thinking, how about you come home with me tonight, get some rest and we can figure out what to do in the morning?”  He seemed to realize I was cold and shrugged off his coat, wrapping it around my shoulders and I immediately put my arms in the sleeves, savoring the remnants of his body heat.

I hadn’t been expecting him to make the offer, we hardly knew each other.  Then again, it wasn’t the worst proposition I’d gotten all evening.  “Do you normally invite witnesses to stay with you?”  I couldn’t help but ask.

“Only when they call me at home in the middle of the night.  This way if someone comes after you again, I don’t have to commute.”

My lips tilted in a pale approximation of my usual smile, but I did appreciate the effort on his part.  “It’s that bad is it?”  I meant my situation, not his commute.

“Let’s just say I’d like you to be where I can keep an eye on you for now, that’s all.”

“What about my cat?”  I remembered Mimsy suddenly, wondering if the guy was sick enough to take out his frustration on a poor defenseless animal.

“Tomorrow we’ll go and pick up some more clothes for you, and your cat.”

“She doesn’t wear any clothes,” I said with a straight face.

“I guess I walked into that one,” he chuckled.  “Alright, Miss Comedienne, let’s get you home, you look as tired as I feel.”  I felt a momentary stab of guilt for dragging him deeper into everything, at the same time incredibly grateful for his help.

As we left the police station, I wondered if everyone there knew we were going home together?  I wondered if his boss knew and would approve, or if he’d get in trouble for taking work home with him?  I wondered if it would be just for that night, or if we’d end up having to spend days or weeks together.  I wondered where in the hell my guardian angel was?  What a stupid time he picked to take the night off after sticking to me like glue for days!

As a result, I wasn’t much of a conversationalist on the ride home, though I did watch with interest as we got closer to his neighborhood in case I needed to find it again.

Ben pulled into a cul-de-sac with a townhouse complex at the end.  They were set up in blocks of three houses, with the garages under the units so the houses themselves appeared three stories high.  Each house was painted a different color, making it look like a little village rather than a uniform complex.  Ben drove us down and around the driveway to his townhouse, painted in muted shades of blue with white trim.  It was an end unit, and boasted bay windows along one side.

“This is nice, two bedroom?” I commented as we came to a stop.  Probably a little cozy for more than two people, but I assumed he lived alone since he invited me to come and stay with him.  Following him inside, we climbed the first set of stairs to the living room dining room combo.

“Yes, you can have the bedroom, I’ll take the office.”

“No, I can’t kick you out of your bedroom…”

“Sure you can, don’t worry, I can sleep anywhere.”

“You’re sure?”  I wasn’t sure I felt altogether good about that, but he gave me a look that brooked no argument.

“Positive.  Get some rest.  The bedroom’s up at the top of the stairs on the right.  You have your own bathroom to yourself.”

“I feel like I could sleep for a week,” I admitted, my restless energy definitely gone, but my mind was still churning, turning over the events of the day.

“I’ll leave you to it then.”

“Would you mind… could we sit for a few minutes maybe?  Watch some mindless TV?  Sort of let the day fade away?”  I knew it was asking a lot, but I wasn’t quite ready to be alone yet.

“Sure,” he smiled, “we can do that.”  Catching up my hand, he led me over to the sofa and settled down, picking up the remote.  I still wore his coat, so he grabbed a folded blanket from the back of the couch and shook it out over my lap.  Immediately shrugging out of the bulky coat, I scooted closer to him and his warmth, adjusting the blanket to cover the both of us while he channel surfed.

I still don’t know who made the first move, but one moment we were watching some stupid infomercial on TV and the next moment we were kissing.  It reminded me a little of necking in my parent’s living room, that thrill of a first shared kiss without knowing what each other liked.

Maybe it came from a need to connect with someone solid and good, to chase away the feel of Weatie’s hand over my mouth, pinning me down.  Maybe it was because I felt so grateful to him for taking me in.  Like as not there were all kinds of theories out there floating around about post traumatic stress and how it affected my behavior.  But my theory is simply that my walls had been so battered down by the events of the day, I didn’t have that cushion of self control I normally operated under.

I wanted warmth, so I snuggled closer to him.

I wanted to watch music videos, so I grabbed the remote out of his hand and changed the channel.

I wanted to kiss him, so I did.

Maybe he had been the one to initiate it, I couldn’t say what his motivations were, we never really talked about it.  All I know is that we sat there in the darkened living room, practically strangers, making out like there was no tomorrow.  Only unlike being a teen, there was no danger of parents walking in to surprise us.

Which is why it shocked the hell out of me when I saw Sam standing there, watching us with undisguised interest.

I let out a surprised squeak just as Ben’s hand reached up under my shirt.  Misinterpreting my noise for one of discomfort or pain, he immediately snatched his hand away.  “Oh God, I’m sorry, I wasn’t even thinking.  Did I hurt you?”

“No, I’m fine, really,” I gulped in a breath, tugging my shirt back down, having to deal with two surprises at once.  “I ah, don’t want you to see the scar,” I added lamely, wondering how long I’d be able to keep the unblemished skin a secret, given the turn in our relationship.  Over his shoulder I gave Sam a glare, but he seemed unfazed by it.

“It won’t bother me, you should see some of mine,” Ben smiled gently.

“Still, it’s new and I’m not all that comfortable with it yet, okay?”  I gave him a somewhat sheepish smile, hating that I had to lie to him.  Sam seemed to be doing that thing again where no one but me could see him.  The thought popped into the back of my mind, would I be able to do that too?

“Okay sure,” Ben nodded, leaning in to kiss my cheek, and I smiled at the touch, my head lolling to one side to give him better access as he kissed and nibbled down the side of my neck.

“Why do you put your mouths on everything?  I never understood that,” Sam asked curiously, and I took it to mean Ben couldn’t hear him either.  A useful skill to have.

“None of your business,” I retorted without thinking, teeth mashing down on my lips the instant I said it aloud.  How could I be such a moron?  How many movies had I seen over the years where someone was branded as insane because they’re talking to ghosts or angels or aliens or whatever that only they could see and hear?  And here I was doing it myself.

“What?” Ben blinked, pulling back to look at me.

“Sorry, I meant to say, when I’m more comfortable with it.  You seeing my scar.”  Could I sound any more retarded?

“Whenever you’re ready,” Ben smiled back at me, that smile I liked so much, that made me like him so much.

“Could I maybe get some Tylenol and some water?  Now that I’m unwinding, my head is starting to pound,” I smiled back, grateful when he nodded and went to the kitchen to get them for me.

“Get out of here!” I hissed at Sam, the moment Ben was out of earshot.

“You wish me to leave?” Sam blinked.

“Yes, I wish you to leave, as in right now.  I’ll deal with you later, and don’t come sneaking in here again!”  Oh, I was livid!  How had he even tracked me down there?  If I was so easy to find, where the hell was he when I was under that scumbag?

“I will leave then.”  Sam looked crestfallen and I felt a pang of remorse, like I’d smacked a puppy too hard on the nose for jumping up.  But damn it if he didn’t need to learn about boundaries.

“I’ll come and see you tomorrow, until then… go home.”  I made an effort to soften my tone of voice.

Sam nodded and moved on silent feet to the stairwell, going up instead of down.  My brows knit together as I puzzled why he went that way instead of towards the door, but Ben returned then, and I focused all of my attention on him.  Accepting the pain killers with a grateful smile, I lingered by the edge of the sofa, not sitting back down.

“We should probably go to bed, huh?” I suggested, realizing only too late he might take it as a different kind of invitation.  “I mean, it’s late… and we should go to separate beds,” I practically tripped over my tongue to add.

Ben’s answering smile let me know he’d understood me to begin with.  “Yes, it’s late and there’s no rush for any of this.  Neither one of us is going anywhere, right?”

“Right,” I nodded, relieved.  “Goodnight.”  Leaning in, I placed an almost chaste kiss on his lips.

“Goodnight, Mercy.  Give a holler if you need anything.”

I thought I might have trouble sleeping in the unfamiliar bed and with all the worries and fears in the back of my mind, but I fell asleep the moment my head hit the pillow.

Chapter Eight

The next morning dawned clear and bright, no sign of the dismal gray clouds that perpetually plagued our skies and my thoughts of late.  I awoke feeling refreshed and lucky to have escaped the way I had the night before.

Calling both Matt and Daphne, I let them in on the highlights of my narrow escape the night before, downplaying any danger but instructing them both to give my apartment a wide berth until Weatie was picked up.  Daphne was relieved to hear I’d be staying with Ben and I promised to fill her in on all the details soon.  Matty offered to come and stay with me, not exactly thrilled I was “shacked up with some cop”.  His motives might have been altruistic, but more likely he wanted the chance to sit on my couch, watch my cable TV and eat me out of house and home.  Politely declining his generous offer, I promised to call him the moment I had any news on my attacker’s whereabouts.

True to his word, Ben took me back to my apartment to pick up some clothes and Mimsy and we stopped to pick up my car from the police precinct.  After a nice leisurely brunch at Lolly’s we parted ways.

Even though it was Sunday, he had work to do.  As I was starting to learn, his hours were nowhere near normal.  I felt safe in his townhouse.  He gave me a key and showed me how to operate his alarm system, including how to work the panic alarm in case I saw even a suspicious shadow.  Mimsy busily sniffed all over the premises, conducting her own inspection before falling asleep in the middle of the bed.

It was my day off, and without my normal household chores, I looked to straighten Ben’s place.  Without being too nosy, I found some cleaning supplies and gave his kitchen a good going over, including tossing old leftovers out that looked like they could walk out on their own.  A quick check gave me what options there were for making dinner. I figured the least I could do was make a decent home cooked meal for him since he was letting me stay there.  His kitchen wasn’t huge, but it was bigger than mine and I was pleasantly surprised to find plenty of pots and pans to make whatever I wanted to.  Clearly Ben was more than a pizza and sandwich kind of guy.

After a while, I realized I was putting off the inevitable though, and set out for Sam’s apartment, not exactly looking forward to that conversation.  That time he opened the door right after the first knock, but he still walked away from the open door without saying a word, leaving me to follow him inside and shut the door.

“You are well?” he asked once I’d ventured deeper inside.

“Yeah, no thanks to you,” I muttered, my mood already prickly and I’d only just arrived.

Sam blinked at my tone, obviously trying to process it.  “You are angry with me?  Because I entered Benjamin’s home without your permission?”  Obviously he didn’t have any issues with breaking and entering, but I did.

“Among other things.  Didn’t anyone ever tell you it was rude to do that?”

“No,” he answered honestly. “No one has ever noticed me before.”

Which reminded me, “What’s up with that by the way?  You can make yourself invisible or something?”

That one he had no problem answering.  “Not invisible exactly. I can move through the world without drawing attention to my presence, appear only to the chosen few.  They simply do not notice me unless I wish them to.”

“So… you could be in a room full of people and they wouldn’t see or hear you?  And that’s why Alexei couldn’t see you in the store…”  I processed that for a moment.  It definitely explained his lack of social skills.  How could a guy get any practice interacting with humans when he didn’t show himself to them?  “Look, the main thing here is you can’t lurk around like that, it’s creepy.  Remember creepy is bad?”

“I remember,” he nodded earnestly.

“Speaking of lurking, what happened to you?  You follow me around day and night and then the one time I actually need you, you’re nowhere to be found,” I demanded, finding some of my righteous indignation again.

“I was sick.”

Did angels even get sick?  “What do you mean you were sick?”

“From the beer.  I am not used to drinking, it made me quite dizzy and then sick.”  Sam looked embarrassed to talk about it.

“Oh,” I said quietly.  What could I say to that?  I’m the one who gave it to him in the first place.  “I’m sorry about that, I didn’t mean for you to get sick.”

“I know.”  He studied me silently for a moment, his head canting to one side as was his way.  “What happened to you?”

“When?”

“You said you needed me and I was nowhere to be found,” Sam prompted patiently.

“Yeah, about that…” I told him all about the attack and what led me to stay with Detective Gates, lingering over the flash of bright light and glossing over my personal terror.  “What happened to me?  What was that white light when he attacked me?”

“The Grace, it acted as protection for you.”

“That’s handy.”  It could be very handy indeed, if I could figure out how I’d done it in the first place.  “How does it work exactly?”

“Is that why you gave him your love?” Sam asked, completely ignoring my question and it took me a moment to track what he was talking about.

“You mean Ben?” I blinked.

“Yes.  Was it because he offered you protection?”

“It was just a kiss Sam, and I did it because I like him.”

“Do you like me?”

With anyone else I might have suspected he was playing some kind of game, but I didn’t think Sam was capable of such a move.  His blue gaze held mine for a long moment, and I tried to understand what he was really asking me.  Did he want me to like him?  The way I liked Ben?  Was he jealous over the kiss?  Did angels even get jealous?

Despite his sometimes awkward mannerisms and the way he frustrated me to no end when he dodged my questions, I found I did like Sam.  It was different from the way I started to feel about Ben, that was safe and comforting.  Sam was… different, an unknown… and it pricked at my curious nature to find out more about him.  There was definitely something raw and indefinable that tugged at me every time I was near him.

It didn’t hurt that he was gorgeous to look at either, but there was no spark there, at least on my part.  I was just opening my mouth to reply when there was a quick rap at the door and Sam looked up, an uncharacteristic scowl twisting his lips.

“What is it?”

“My friend,” Sam muttered, moving to the door and I wondered if he seemed so disgruntled because of who stood out there or the interruption?  Pulling open the door, Sam blocked the opening with his body, effectively obscuring my view of his caller.  “Now is not a good time,” he said softly, but with an undercurrent of strength to his words.

“What, no hug?  No ‘Hey Adam, long time no see?’  That’s gratitude for you,” the distinctively male voice at the door snorted.  “Whatever moldy old book you’re poring over can wait.  Now stop dicking around and let me in.”  The new arrival seemed amused by Sam’s stance and easily pushed his way past him, only to stop and stare at me. His eyes lingered in an overly familiar way that made me blush to the tips of my ears.  “Who’s this?” he asked with open interest.

Both men were beautiful, the opposites of the same coin.  In every way that Sam was light, he was dark, from his jet black hair to his wicked smile.  But where Sam’s gentle expression mirrored his goodness and highlighted his angelic qualities, his friend’s presence announced a worldliness Sam could never possess.  He was dressed all in black from head to toe.  Black boots, jeans, tight fitting t-shirt and motorcycle jacket.  The kind of guy that Daphne would have called a sexy beast, and I was inclined to agree, the guy oozed predatory charm.  His aura was the same warm, golden yellow as Sam’s and his eyes blazed with the same azure fire that marked him as an angel.  But the way he looked at me… it was as though he could see right through my clothes.

If he was an angel, he was almost certainly a Fallen one, and that explained why he was a friend of Sam’s.  I could only imagine what that one had done to get cast out of heaven.  He reminded me of one of God’s favored angels, tossed out of heaven for getting too uppity.  Sweet Mary Mother of God… was that who stood before me, Lucifer himself?

His eyes still devoured me like some kind of new and tasty morsel, and I took a step backwards in spite of myself.  Sam looked uncertain as to whether or not he should answer or leave me to speak for myself.

“Oh Sammy, you’ve been holding out on me.  It’s about time you got a playmate,” he smirked.

“I’m not his playmate,” I scowled, annoyed that he’d automatically assumed I was a plaything, not a person.

“Good.” He gave me a wolfish grin, advancing a step closer and I could tell I made a serious mistake, declaring myself open game.

“I have to be going.”  I tried to sidestep him, but he stepped further into my path.

“Don’t leave on my account.”

“I’m not.”  My chin came up a fraction, refusing to be cowed.  “I just happen to be leaving now.”  I had a feeling he didn’t buy my explanation, and neither did I.  There were unresolved issues between me and Sam, but it didn’t seem like an opportune moment to pursue them.

“Well, at least introduce us, brother.”  He released me from his gaze, turning to Sam expectantly.

Sam bristled, still hovering by the door as if he hoped his visitor might decide to leave.  “Adam, this is Mercy.  Mercy, this is Adam,” he said shortly.

Adam.  I wondered what it might be short for.  Adamus or Adamantium for all I knew.  I gave him a short nod but didn’t offer my hand.  “Nice to meet you.”

“Pleasure.”  Adam’s eyes flashed mischievously and I heard a whole other meaning behind that single word.

“I’ll bet,” I murmured, and the errant thought pushed its way into my  mind - what would a fallen angel be like after a thousand years or more of sharpening his skills in the bedroom?  Adam’s smile held the promise of an ocean of earthly delights, and I resolved to get the hell out of there before my hormones went into overdrive and I did or said something stupid without thinking.  Deciding to make that my cue to leave, I moved closer to the door, stopping in front of Sam.  “So… remember what we talked about?”

“Yes, I remember,” Sam nodded.

“I meant it, Sam.  If you want to see me, call or knock like a normal person.”  With that final reminder, I stepped through the doorway.

“She knows, doesn’t she?”  Adam’s face was a mask of shocked surprise, perhaps the first unguarded emotion I’d seen from him.  His eyes narrowed as he studied me closer, his look penetrating but without the lascivious cast to it anymore.  “Holy shit, look at her…  Boy, when you fuck up, you fuck up big.  Don’t you, Sammy?”

I got out of there before I could hear Sam’s reply.

* * *

I mulled over the strange encounter as I drove away from Sam’s place.  It stood to reason if there were other fallen angels out there, they might not all be nice and honorable like Sam was.  After all, one did not get cast out of heaven for being a boy scout.  Not for the first time I wondered what it was Sam had done to end up one of the Fallen.  I’d already considered and discarded half a dozen theories, but none of them seemed to apply.  He didn’t seem like the debauching type, or the kind that grasped for power or abused his authority over others.  Then again, how well did I know Sam?

Whatever his transgressions, I had the feeling they happened a long, long time ago, and whatever it was, being cast out had taken its toll on him.  In all that time, Sam still hadn’t integrated into human society (unlike his buddy Adam), and I wondered why not.

I resolved to put the whole thing out of my thoughts until I had some time to pull it out and turn it over in my mind again.  For the moment I focused on more mundane issues, like making dinner.

I’m a good cook with the basics, spaghetti, lasagna, Mexican food (the spicier the better) and your basic meat and potatoes American favorites.  Anything too fancy and the results are hit and miss.  One thing I have never been able to get the hang of is baking.  Even those rolls of pre-made cookie dough… It sounds easy in theory but I always ended up with cookies that were burnt on the bottoms and raw in the middle, so I’m a big believer in store bought goodies.

On the way back to Ben’s townhouse I stopped at the store and got some fresh salad greens, a loaf of crusty French bread and a gorgeous black forest cake.  Have I mentioned I’m a sucker for chocolate in any form?

The next hour saw me up to my elbows in Italian goodness, as I assembled a monster lasagna with the ingredients I’d found courtesy of Ben’s pantry and freezer.  I took it as a good sign that he had fresh heads of garlic in a basket by the sink and added it to everything I made, from the sauce to the meat to the bread.  As long as we both had some, I figured we’d be on equal footing should more kissage occur.

It had been a long time since I had anyone to cook for besides Matty or Daphne, and I was sorta hoping he didn’t think I’d overstepped my bounds in taking over his kitchen.  I managed to finish washing the last of the pots and pans from the cooking mess and popped the lasagna into the oven when I got a text from Ben he was on the way home.  Talk about perfect timing…  Taking the stairs two at a time, I jumped into a quick shower to freshen up.

Luckily, I took an armload of clothes into the adjoining bathroom with me, because as I emerged (fully clothed, thank God) after my shower, I was startled to see Adam sitting casually on the edge of the bed, flipping through the pictures in my wallet.  What was it with angels and boundaries?

“What the hell are you doing in here?” My voice went all high and squeaky.  While I wasn’t afraid as I might normally have been at finding a strange man in my bedroom, my temper got a pretty good workout.

“I wanted to talk to you,” Adam replied, as if it justified his actions perfectly.

“What is it about angels that makes them think they can walk all over you?” I muttered, shoving dirty clothes into the hamper.  “What makes you think I want to talk to you?”

“We don’t have to talk then,” he grinned, stretching out on the bed and patting the spot beside him.

It would have been almost funny if he wasn’t so damned sexy laid out on the bed like that.  Deliberately, I turned my back on him, snatching up my comb to work at the tangle of my long hair.  “I’ll bet I know what you use your little invisible trick for,” I muttered.  He seemed like the type who would have no moral qualms over spying on innocent females.

“But it didn’t work on you.  Interesting.”

“You were trying to make yourself invisible?”  I turned in spite of myself, regarding him with curiosity, though I was still half appalled at his intent.

“What did he do to you exactly…?” Adam murmured, his icy stare intent as it had been before I’d left Sam’s apartment.

“He didn’t tell you?”

Adam shook his head.  “Sam’s not usually much of a conversationalist to begin with, but he clammed up tight were you were concerned.”

“Maybe he just didn’t want to tell you?  I sorta got the impression you two weren’t the best of friends.”

That got his attention and a momentary look of surprise crossed his face before his regular smirk returned.  “Samael and I are the oldest of friends, which is the next best thing.”

“So you’re a fallen angel too?” I asked, looking to confirm my suspicions.

“Guilty.”

“Are there many of you guys around?”  It seemed a strange coincidence to run into two of them inside of a week.

“Enough that we all know who each other are, but not so many we need a secret handshake or anything,” he grinned.  “What did he tell you about me?”

“Nothing really, he mentioned you help him with money. If that was you he told me about.”

“Yeah, Sam’s got no head for business at all,” Adam sighed.  “You’d think after a couple thousand years he would’ve gotten the hang of it.”

A couple thousand years… He said it so casually, as if we spoke about the weather forecast.  And in all that time Sam had never really joined the world of the living.  Obviously Adam didn’t share his reticence, he looked as integrated as a supernatural being could get in his leather jacket and boots.  I was willing to bet his apartment boasted a flat screen TV and all the luxuries money could buy.  Idly I wondered how someone who’d been around for so long managed to keep a bank account or rent an apartment in the computer age?  Didn’t they run background and credit checks on people?  Or could enough cash buy your way past that?

“That’s nice of you to help him out then,” I allowed.  It was a softer side to him perhaps.

Adam gave a half shrug.  “It’s just money.”  Only people who have money ever say it’s just money.  “Let’s just say I owe him from way back.”

The unmistakable sound of the garage door opening filtered through the townhouse then, and my eyes flickered to the bedroom door.

“Who is that, your boyfriend?”

“None of your business, now get out of here before he sees you, or…” The last thing I wanted to do was go through dinner with Ben with Adam hanging around unseen and unheard by everyone but me.

“Does he know about your… gift?”

“What do you know about it?”  If Sam hadn’t told him much about me, I didn’t hold much hope he held any answers for me either.

“Plenty.  Let me guess, good ol’ Sam didn’t tell you squat did he?” Adam smirked.

I faltered, torn between wanting answers and wanting him out of there before Ben came up the stairs.  “He told me some…” I hedged.

“Sucks to be you…” he sighed, moving to the window and I took a step towards him.

“Wait, where are you going?”

“You asked me to leave,” Adam blinked innocently.

I let out a long, exasperated breath.  “Look, not here but, we should talk…”

“I don’t want to talk.” He gave me a sultry look that made my stomach flutter, but I resolutely tamped it down.  Did he really expect me to hop into bed with him just because he was drop dead gorgeous?

“Ugh, never mind then, go ahead and go.”

“You have to understand, it’s not often we get to see something new.  Especially something new and shiny like you.”

“I’m not some toy for you to play with,” I retorted, not at all happy with the comparison.

“But I like to play.  I think we could have a lot of fun playing together, don’t you?”  Adam’s voice was suddenly low and intimate by my ear, he’d moved away from the window in the blink of an eye, his hands brushing lightly over my arms in the ghost of a touch as he stood behind me.  I swallowed back the wave of desire that went through me at that light touch, wondering if it was another kind of angelic ability or the man himself who affected me that way when he was obviously such a jerk in all other ways.

He chuckled softly, as if he could feel my reaction to him even though I’d remained silent.  “If you change your mind just call my name.”

At that I scoffed aloud, turning to see his face.  “What you’ll magically know it if I say Adam? Aren’t there like a ton of Adams in this city alone?”  What kind of a trick was he trying to pull?

“My true name, Merceline.”  It was strange to hear my full name from those lips.  “Call it and I will come.”  He perched on the windowsill in the blink of an eye.

“What’s your true name?” I found myself asking.  Did that apply to all angels, or just to him?

The wry twist of his lips let me know I’d given him another small victory in asking.  “Adamiel,” he replied, launching himself out the window.

* * *

Dinner was a success and I was sufficiently pleased by the compliments and yummy noises Ben made while enjoying my lasagna.  He told me all about the new case he was working on, without specifics of course, and I couldn’t help but wonder how he managed to keep up, going night and day the way he did.  What was such a life altering thing for me was par for the course to him, and he was currently working on putting a half dozen criminals like Weatie behind bars.  It was awe inspiring and depressing really, that there were so many people running around out there, hurting each other.  It wasn’t something I normally liked to think about.

After dinner we watched movies together and it was very comfortable.  I’d been wondering if the make out fest the night before had been more of an aberration or a sign of things to come, but we each seemed more hesitant that second night.  I kinda got the impression he wanted to take things slower and that was fine by me. I was confused enough by my feelings at the time.

As I went to bed, my eyes kept straying to the window where both angels made an appearance.  Would Sam honor the request I’d made of him, or would he show up and watch me sleep again?  Or would Adam return for that promised talk?  As I drifted off to sleep, I found I almost wished he would.

Chapter Nine

Monday morning I awoke to a note from Ben propped against a jelly donut telling me he had to go back to work early and he wasn’t sure when he’d be home.  With a longing look to the jelly donut, I resolutely put it back in the kitchen and picked out a carton of low fat yogurt instead.  Too much donut makes too much Mercy… My mother would have been proud of my restraint.

It’s handy to have a best friend who works crazy hours like I did.  After a bit of straightening up around Ben’s place, I pulled out my phone, desperate to catch up with Daphne and let her in on everything that had gone down since we’d last spoken.  Was it really only a couple of days ago?  Fingers flying over the keypad, I sent her a text message.

*meet for lunch?*

In just a few minutes I had her reply and we traded messages back and forth before deciding to meet up at Togo’s sandwiches and walk to the park.  I think it’s important to state here that Togo’s sandwiches are the most excellent on the planet.  Their turkey and avocado sandwich is the best money can buy, and I’ve been working on trying to duplicate it on my own with little success.  I think it’s the bread.  I haven’t been able to find its equal anywhere else.  It was well worth the drive to Bellevue and conveniently not too far from Bellevue Highlands Park.

The benefit to knowing someone from childhood was that it’s easy to anticipate their wants.  So, seeing as how I got to the sandwich shop first, I went ahead and ordered for the both of us.  Our sandwiches were already bagged up and ready to go by the time Daphne arrived, her cheeks pink with the exertion of running late.

“Sorry!  I had to stop for gas,” she gave a sheepish grin, reaching for the bag.  “How much do I owe you?”

“My treat this time,” I offered.  After tips I cleared quite a bit more than she did at her job, and I didn’t mind footing the bill from time to time.  “You can pay me back by giving me your unvarnished opinion on everything that’s been going on.”

“I’d give you that anyway,” Daphne scoffed.  “Tell me all about Ben, he works fast, huh?  Got you in his bed already?” Her teeth caught her tongue in a teasing grin.

I laughed at that, not quite thinking of it in those terms before.  “He’s not like that, he’s… sweet.”

“Uh oh, like the kiss of death sweet?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know what I mean, Mercy, your track record with men sucks.   If you had a choice between a decent, nice, sweet guy and a dangerous, two timing asshat, you’d pick the asshat every time.”

Ouch.  My cheeks flamed scarlet because I knew that it had been true in the past, my judgment with men was sometimes a little… lacking.  “That’s not what’s happening here, I’m not after some asshat I’m…”

“Wait so there is another guy…?” she interrupted, hopping up and down, her eyes wide with excitement.  “Is it the one who was following you?”

“Well… sorta.  I don’t think he likes me like that.”  I wasn’t sure what Sam felt about me, only that he was intrigued.  It was Adam who I thought about in that moment though, especially given his visit the night before.  Of course Adam fit the definition of asshat well enough.  Could an angel be an asshat?

“He’s not gay is he?”

“What?” I blinked, not tracking her at first as I’d been daydreaming about another pair of ice blue eyes.  “I don’t think so.”

“What’s the problem then?  All men go for you.”  A roll of the eyes was given.

I wish…  “He’s not a man exactly…” I hedged, looking around.  It had been killing me not to talk to Daphne about everything going on and it seemed as good a time as any.  No one paid us any mind on the street.

“What, he’s a robot?” she snorted.

“No, he’s… an angel.”

Daphne giggled, “No men are angels, they all have something wrong with them.”

“No, I mean he’s an honest to God, heavenly angel with wings and everything.”  I waited for her to laugh again, keeping my expression completely solemn.

“Shut the front door!  You’re serious aren’t you?  He told you he was an angel?  And you call me naïve!”

“Yeah, I am.  And he didn’t tell me he was an angel, I saw it for myself.” Maybe I hadn’t seen the wings, but I had proof enough of his supernatural powers.  I could tell she was thinking about it, turning over the possibilities in her mind and trying to decide if I was screwing with her.  One of the nice things about Daphne was she had a pretty open mind.  I could tell the moment she decided to just go with it.

“Your own guardian angel… and he’s sexy to boot?  Where’s mine?” she pouted, and I couldn’t help but laugh at her disgruntled expression.

“I never said he was sexy, I said he was like a big puppy,” I clarified.  It was Adam who was sex on a stick, to coin one of her favorite phrases.  “And no, it doesn’t work like that.  It’s not like he’s been following me around my whole life.  See, he felt bad about me getting stabbed because of him, so he came to the hospital to heal me.”  With another look to our surroundings, I lifted up my shirt, exposing the smooth expanse of skin that no longer bore even the faintest trace of the scar.

“Shut up….” Daphne murmured.  “No wonder you were bent on getting out of the hospital like STAT.”

“Yeah, I didn’t exactly feel like explaining how this happened and at the time I didn’t really understand it either.”

“But you do now?  You’ve seen him since then and actually talked to him?”

I nodded, steering her to one of the benches so we could sit and eat.  “I followed him back to his place and cornered him until he gave me some answers.”

“You really do have more balls than brains don’t you?” Daphne gaped.  “You followed a total stranger to his apartment?”

“Well… it turned out alright,” I grumbled, not quite willing to acknowledge out loud that it had been kinda stupid at the time. “You’re missing the point here, Daph, he did something to me when he healed me.”

“What do you mean?”  Her eyes were wide as saucers as she popped a Frito into her mouth.

“I mean, whatever it is that makes an angel special… he called it Grace, some of it rubbed off on me.”

It took her a moment to process that while she chewed.  “Then you’re part angel now?”

“I don’t know, he said I was something new.  And I feel… different.”

“Different how?”

“I don’t know how to explain it, but there are little things.”  I didn’t mention my eyes, that was a given.   Trying to explain the colorful auras around people proved to be more difficult than I’d thought.

“What color am I?” Daphne asked, ignoring the larger issue of what it might mean.

“Orange.”

“Oh…” she seemed disappointed at that.  “I don’t even like oranges.”

“You’re such a dork,” I laughed.  Trust Daphne to find her aura clashed with her own sense of personal style.

“Anything else?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t had the chance to test anything out.”  I was eager to try the invisible thing, but I had no idea how to go about it.

“What else what can angels do?”

“I don’t know, Sam’s not all that forthcoming with the answers.”  I chewed for a minute as I thought that over.

“That’s his name, Sam?”

“Yep, didn’t I say that before?”

“Nope, I don’t think so.  Why didn’t you ask him about the colors and what they mean?”

“He’s not the easiest person to talk to, I kept getting distracted.”

“On the count of his sexiness?” she grinned, unable to keep from teasing me. I was glad I hadn’t mentioned Adam yet, I would never have been able to live it down.  Adam was the type of bad boy that had been my kryptonite since the ninth grade.  The fact that he was an angel would have no bearing on it whatsoever, she would focus on the word Fallen and nothing else.

“You should do like my mom says to do when you go to the doctor.  Write down all of your questions ahead of time, that way you won’t forget any of them when he tries to hustle you out of there,” Daphne suggested, bringing me out of my reverie.

“That idea’s not half bad,” I considered aloud.  God only knew how turned around I got in talking to Sam.  “Or maybe I should stop by church and give the priest a little Q and A?” I chuckled.  I could just see it… Father, I’m trying to figure out what angelic qualities might have rubbed off on me from an angel…

“Ooh, I wonder if you could look it up on the internet?”

I rolled my eyes at that.  “Yeah, like you can believe everything you read on the internet…”  The best source for answers would probably be to go direct to the source.  Idly I wondered if Adam really would come if I called?  And what would be his price for such information?

Feeling like I’d been talking about myself for too long, I decided to change tacks.  “So, tell me a bit about the guy you’ve been seeing?”

All too happy to launch into intimate detail, we spent the next half hour chatting about her current beau and all the time they’d been spending together.  By the time we were done, I felt a lot more like my normal self and less like… whatever I’d become.

* * *

I half expected to get a call from Ben later in the day, but when my phone rang it was Parker, asking me to come in to work on my day off.  That started to turn into a habit, which I wasn’t all that thrilled about, but I agreed to come in anyway.  The overtime was too good to pass up.

It was quiet at the club, Monday nights usually were, and I spent a lot of my time  hanging out, chatting with my coworkers.  Walter seemed even more attentive than usual and Parker had to order him to go and stand by the door at one point when he hovered too close.  Part of me wondered why Parker even noticed.  When things were slow he wasn’t the type to make us polish glasses or keep busy for the sake of keeping busy.  In fact, I wondered why Parker even called me in at all?  He could have easily covered the bar, for all the business we got.  Why pay me time and a half to sit and gossip with Alice?

Near the end of my shift, Ben walked in and I perked up to see him, stretching from my position leaning against the bar.  “Hey Ben, this is a nice surprise,” I smiled, before I caught his expression and knew it wasn’t a social call.  “Uh oh, what’s up?”

“Is there someplace we can speak in private?”

“Sure, give me a minute.”  Flagging Alice over, I asked her to let Parker know I needed a break.  Parker emerged from his office a few minutes later, raising a single brow once he caught sight of Ben.

“Detective,” Parker nodded briskly and I realized the pair must have met already.  Was Ben the one who made Parker close the place down for not having the proper lighting?  In any case, I suddenly felt awash in testosterone as the men gave each other an assessing look.

“Can we use your office for a few minutes?” I asked.  Parker gave me a look that spoke volumes and I quickly amended.  “To talk!”

“Yeah sure, just keep an eye on the clock, darlin’,” he nodded, stepping behind the bar, his eyes on Ben the whole time.  Ben, for his part, continued his half of the staring contest and I had to tug him towards the office.

“You bet.”  Not stopping to wonder why it was the two men acted so strangely, I drew Ben back to Parker’s office, waiting until we were inside with the door shut to speak again.  “What is it?  You look like someone just ran over your dog.”

“Charles Weatie was murdered last night.  We found the body today, it had been thrown in a dumpster on 99th.”

Of all the things he could have told me, that wasn’t what I’d been expecting to hear.  “He’s dead?” I asked, shock taking hold of me for long heartbeats before a completely selfish feeling of relief washed over me.  Was it awful to think it was great news?  “How was he killed?  Do they know who did it?”

Ben shook his head.  “They’re still working on the preliminary report, but he was beaten pretty severely.”

“Someone beat him to death?”  My brows climbed at that one, I’d expected shot or stabbed maybe.

“Yes, but he was also bleeding from the ears so they’re still working on the exact cause of death.”  Ben came closer, putting his hands on my upper arms.  “Mercy, what can you tell me about the other man in the alley where you were attacked?”

That was twice in a row that he’d managed to shock me, and not being much of a poker player, I’m sure my face registered distress at the question.  He thought Sam had something to do with it?  Oh God… had he?

I licked my lips, trying to find the right words to say that wouldn’t be a complete lie.  “Ah, like I said, it was dark and my memory is kinda foggy about that night… but he had long curly blonde hair and he was tall…”  That was even less than I’d told him last time and I tried not to squirm as he looked at me.

“Do you think you might be able to look through some mug shots?  See if you can pick him out?”

At that I perked up, I was almost certain Sam wouldn’t be among those suspects.  “Of course, I can,” I smiled openly.  “You don’t need me to come in tonight though do you?”

Ben gave my shoulders a squeeze, returning my smile.   “No, tomorrow morning will be fine.   Mostly I just wanted you to know you don’t have to worry anymore about that psycho coming after you.”

“I guess there’s no reason to impose on your hospitality any longer,” I considered aloud.  Pity, I’d started to like having someone around to share my evenings with and Mimsy loved the bigger place, but I did like my privacy.

“Listen, you don’t have to worry about it tonight.  It’s late, and you can deal with moving back home tomorrow if you like.”

He really was a nice guy.  “Thanks, I appreciate it.  By the time I get off work it’ll be a hassle to get Mimsy in the car and drive back to my place.”

“That settles it then, back to my place tonight.”

“I’m so glad this nightmare is over.  You think it’s over for me, right?”

“Well, I’ll feel better once we have Weatie’s killer behind bars, but I don’t think he’ll be coming after you.  Then again… you’re more than welcome to crash at my place a little longer if you want, to be on the safe side.”

It was tempting, but I knew I wasn’t in any danger from Sam.  It didn’t feel right taking advantage of Ben’s hospitality.  “That’s sweet of you, Ben.  I think it’s probably for the best if I move back to my place.  You don’t need me cramping your style anymore.”

“Actually… it’s kinda nice having you around.”  The telltale flush of color started to creep up the side of his neck.

I gave him a soft smile, not quite sure what to say to that.  I liked being around him too, but that didn’t mean I was ready to move in with the guy.  “I should probably get back to work.  My boss is kind of a hardass sometimes about how long of breaks we take.”

“You want me to talk to him?  It was official police business after all,” he offered.

“No, it’s fine, I know how to handle Parker.  Trust me, if you get involved he’ll just get… he has problems with authority sometimes.”  I waved away the suggestion.

“Sounds like a guilty conscience,” Ben muttered.

“Maybe, but he’s a good guy at heart,” I insisted, remembering the strange vibe I got from the two of them before.

“Alright, I’ll let you get back to it then.  I’ll see you later tonight at home.”  Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss to my cheek and I turned my head to catch his lips on the way back, stealing a proper kiss.  After all, I had to give him something to remember me by.

For the rest of my shift I buzzed with impatience to get going.  All I could think of was going to see Sam.  Not for the first time I wished he’d get a stupid cell phone like a normal person.  But then again, he wasn’t a normal person, was he?  That was the whole point.  Did regular laws even apply to him?  Did I have a moral obligation to turn him in if he had killed Charles Weatie?

Finally, I convinced Parker to let me go a little early and I was in my car like a flash, hoping like hell Sam was home and I wasn’t venturing into that neighborhood at night for nothing.  It never occurred to me he might not be home, or what he did at night.  Hell, for all I knew he was out in some other alley, doing whatever it was he’d been doing the night we’d both been stabbed.  But something told me he spent most of his nights in his own apartment, poring over those books of his.

Only there was no answer when I knocked on his apartment door.

I knocked again, trying not to make too much noise as I didn’t want to disturb the neighbors and bring anyone into the hall to complain, out of self preservation.  That time when I got no response, on instinct I reached out to try the door and found it unlocked.  Somehow I knew Sam wouldn’t be all that interested in home security.

“Sam?” I called softly, pushing the door open and stepping into the darkened apartment.  It took me a few minutes to find the light on the desk and I switched it on.  The apartment was still spartan, but I was surprised to see another easy chair in the living room.  It was mismatched and obviously second hand, but comfy looking.  “Sam?” I called out louder, but it was pretty obvious he wasn’t home.

Adam’s invitation came to mind.  He said if I called his true name, he would come.  Would the same hold true for Sam?  I wasn’t sure if the window needed to be open or if I needed to say something specific for it to work, but it was worth a shot.

“Samael?  Can you hear me?” I called out softly, feeling foolish standing alone in the dimly lit room.  Moving to the window I pushed it open, breathing in the night air.  “Samael, oh Samael… come to me…” I whispered fervently, unable to keep from smiling at the dramatic words.  I felt like Rapunzel in the tower calling out to her prince.  Lord but I was starting to lose it…

Turning away from the window, I spied the large, leather bound book he’d been working on sitting open on the desk and couldn’t help but steal a look at what ‘wasn’t meant for human eyes’.  A sheet of blotting paper covered the page and I lifted it carefully, surprised to see the detailed drawing beneath.  In the same style as the other sketches, there was a rendition of a beautiful girl, long hair spilling over her shoulders in a great dark cloud.  She lay supine on the ground, head turned to one side in sleep.  An angel knelt beside her, his wings bowed to shelter them both.  His hands lay gently on her abdomen, a glow emanating from them.  Below the drawing was captioned:

The Gift of Grace

I couldn’t help but admire the artistic talent that went into the rendering even if I didn’t think it particularly looked like me.  The girl in the drawing looked innocent and sweet, I had a hard time picturing myself that way.

“You are here…”

I spun at the sound of Sam’s voice, guiltily placing my body between the forbidden book and him.  “You heard me?”  I couldn’t help but gape at him, more than a little surprised it worked.

“You called.”  He seemed to think that was explanation in and of itself.

“I had no idea it would work and you’d be able to really hear that though.”

“Then why did you call?” His brow furrowed in puzzlement and a sheepish smile tilted my lips.

“Because I wanted it to work.”

He smiled then, his features lighting up as he stepped closer.  “I will always come if you call me.”

There was something comforting about a statement like that and I thought back to Daphne’s words, calling him my guardian angel.  I found myself smiling foolishly back until I remembered what it was that brought me there in the first place, and I sobered.  “I need to ask you something.”

Sam simply waited, and I forged on.  “Ben told me today that someone killed the man who stabbed me, us.  I need to know, was it you?”  I watched his face carefully, wondering if angels could lie.

“Yes, I killed him,” he answered matter of factly.

I blinked at the unexpected response, not quite sure how to respond.  Grateful for the extra chair in the room, I sank into it.  “Why?”

“He deserved to die,” Sam replied earnestly, no trace of guilt or remorse to his voice.

“You don’t get to decide that!” My eyes snapped up accusingly, disturbed to find him so cold and dispassionate about it, but he was unperturbed by my tone.

“I spent many years killing in the service of the Lord.  I judged him and meted out justice.”

“I thought you were demoted or something?  Isn’t that what being a fallen angel is?  You don’t work for God anymore, do you?”

He was silent then and I thought I might have hurt him with my heated words, but I was all mixed up inside.  On the one hand I had to admit I was glad Weatie was dead.  Sam was right, if ever a guy deserved to die it was him.  On the other, I found I didn’t want Sam to be a killer.  The notion that he’d spent years killing for God was hard to reconcile with the man standing before me who looked like he wouldn’t hurt a fly.

“Is that why you were in the alley with him in the first place?  To judge him?”  The thought occurred to me suddenly.  Sam stood there, an inscrutable expression on his face, his silence infuriating.  My temper, already roiling close to the surface boiled over again.  “Dammit, answer me, why did you kill him?”

“He hurt you.”

Sam looked almost as surprised as I was to hear him say that, and it was my turn to stare back at him in silence.  He’d done it for me?  Conflicted, I couldn’t decide if that was more or less disturbing to contemplate.  “Sam… I…”

“Mercy, do not trouble yourself over his death,” Sam interrupted, closing the distance between us.  “I looked into his soul and found it black and twisted with evil.  Such a man should not be allowed to live and torment others.  Especially you,” he added gently.

“Black and twisted…” I’d seen the darkness mottled with dark red of his aura.  Was that what I saw around people?  The quality of their souls?  “His soul was diseased, with black splotches?”

“Yes, you saw it too?”

Mutely I nodded, but decided it wasn’t the right time for a crash course on what the other colors meant.  “I’m not gonna lie, it’s a relief he’s gone,” I said carefully, coming dangerously close to sanctioning murder.  “But you should have let him go to jail.  If you knew where he was, you could have turned him in, tipped off the cops or something.”

“The jail already had him, and they released him.  I could not allow him to continue to pose a threat to others.”

To me.  He meant to me.

“Well, the cops are after whoever did it now.  Ben came to see me at the club tonight.  He asked me for a better description of you, he thinks you’re involved.”

Sam seemed unconcerned at that.  “I am involved.”

“Yes, but you don’t want to go to jail either do you?  So maybe… you should lay low for a while.”  By his blank stare I could tell he was stumped by that particular phrase and I tried again.  “You should keep out of sight?  At least until the investigation dies down.”

Sam shrugged but remained silent.  He didn’t seem to take me very seriously and I felt my temper start to rise again.

“I’m trying to keep you out of jail.”

“I do not think your jail would hold me, it did not hold your attacker.”

“Unbelievable…” I muttered, raking my hair up and away from my face in frustration.  I knew what I had to do, even as I dreaded having to do it.  “Adamiel?” I called out, figuring he might be the one person who could talk some sense into Sam.

Sam’s brows drew together.  “Why are you calling for Adam?”

Aha, I had his attention…  “Because I’m tired of talking to a brick wall,” I muttered.  He blinked at me, obviously not comprehending, but I was feeling too pissy to stop and explain it to him.  It was late and I was tired and it was the last thing I thought I would be dealing with in coming to warn him.  “Adamiel, get your butt over here!” I called out again.

“Me and my butt are here, you can chill.  It’s not like I’m a genie, you can’t rub the lamp and poof I’m here. I do have a life you know,” Adam muttered, appearing at the window.  His voice was aloof but his eyes were intent on me and I knew I’d peaked his interest.

“Oh thank God.  I need you to help me talk some sense into Sam.”

“God has nothing to do with it, trust me,” he smirked, easily vaulting in through the window.  “Really?  That’s the reason you called me over here?” Adam raised a single brow.  “I think you can do better than that.”

My eyes narrowed at him, too tired and cranky to deal with his games at the moment.  “Yeah well, that’s why I called, so get over it.  Look, Sam killed the guy that was after me and now the cops are after him.”  I trusted he would see the gravity of the situation, but instead he stared at me, as if I had more to add.

“And?” he prompted.

“And, I think he should lay low for a while, maybe change his appearance a little, at least until the investigation cools.”

Adam’s smirk grew more pronounced.  “What makes you think we’re subject to human laws?”

I hadn’t expected that response and I had no ready answer for him.  My mouth opened and closed again without anything to say.

“This is what I tried to explain to her,” Sam piped up and I gave him a dirty look.

“You guys live here in our world, whether you like it or not.  The cops are gonna think you’re subject to human laws.”

“You’re not getting it, sweetcheeks.  The police will never be able to capture one of us.  Hell, most of them can’t even see us.”  Adam sounded bored by the whole conversation.

“Hey newsflash, there are people who can see you guys and they’re looking for someone who fits Sam’s description.  I still think it’s a good idea to keep out of sight.”

Sam’s lips quirked into a half smile at that.  “I generally keep out of sight, Mercy, there are very few I reveal myself to among humans.”

“You do?  So why did you reveal yourself to me?”

“I cannot hide myself from your perception any longer, the Grace has opened your eyes to our kind.”

“Oh.”  That explained why Adam hadn’t been able to hide from me either.  “All the same, it might be better if you wore something besides that brown coat for a while.”  My eyes moved over him speculatively.  “And maybe a haircut?”  A makeover wasn’t a half bad idea.  There were plenty of tall blonde men in the city.  Without some of those distinguishing characteristics he’d be impossible to find.

“I have no other coat,” Sam observed with a little frown, his hand going to the unruly locks of hair spilling over his forehead.  “I could easily cut my hair though.”

I could imagine the job he’d do of it too.  “How about this?  I’ll come back tomorrow and help you cut your hair.” If they weren’t going to take it seriously, that was about the extent of effort I’d put into it to keep my conscience clear.

“Okay, if you two are finished playing makeover madness, I think I’ll get back to what I was doing before this dire emergency sprang up.”  Adam’s eyes flashed with sarcasm and then he was gone, out the window with a flash of dark wings, too fast for the eye to track.

I stared after him for a long moment, distracted by his abrupt departure.  Maybe I was making a mountain out of a molehill, but I tried to make things right.

“I should go, it’s getting late,” I sighed tiredly.

“I will see you home,” Sam offered.

“It’s not necessary.  Weatie’s gone now, I’ll be safe.  It’s better if you keep out of sight,” I shook my head.

“Very well,” he relented, and I wondered if he’d follow me anyway.

“Okay well, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Sam smiled happily, giving a fair approximation of my tone and I couldn’t help but smile at the effort, however small, to assimilate.

Chapter Ten

“Jesus Christ, Mercy.  Where the hell have you been?”  Ben was in the garage by the time I pulled in, his face drawn and worried.

I’d completely forgotten he would be waiting up for me.  Even in heading to his place instead of mine, my tired brain hadn’t made the connection to call and let him know I’d stopped off somewhere on the way home.  “Ben… I’m so sorry.  I guess I wasn’t thinking…”

“I called your boss, he said you left work over an hour ago.  You didn’t answer your cell… I didn’t know what to think.  I was about to go out and start combing the streets for you.”  He caught me into a crushing hug the moment I came into reach and it felt nice, having someone care enough to get so worked up over me.

His agitation pricked at my guilty conscience.  I had been thoughtless, but I couldn’t explain where I’d been without compromising Sam.  “I’m sorry… I’m not used to having someone waiting at home for me.  I didn’t mean to make you worry.” I pulled back to check my phone, I hadn’t gotten any calls or I would have thought to check in with him before.  “Oh crap, it looks like my phone was on silent.”

“So?” he waited, obviously expecting an explanation.

“I was… out driving.”  Partially true, I had driven to and from Sam’s apartment.  “I had a lot to think about…” Not a lie.  “…and it’s not like there’s any danger anymore right?  The guy is dead.”

Ben looked at me, really looked at me, and I could practically see the wheels turning in his head.  For a moment I thought I knew what one of his suspects being interrogated felt like.  Not so much by his tone but by the way he scrutinized my response, looking for chinks in my story.  Or maybe that was my guilty conscience kicking into overdrive.

I got the impression he had the urge to question me further but then dropped it.  “I’m just glad you’re alright.”

“I’m sorry if I made you worry.”  I offered him a conciliatory smile, laying my head on his shoulder.

“No it’s… it’s okay.  I’ve been under a lot of stress at work lately, I guess my mind assumes the worst.  Of course you were perfectly safe,” he sighed tiredly.

“Let’s get some sleep, you look tired,” I suggested, laying a brief kiss on his lips.

“You’re really alright?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

Ben nodded, giving me a tired smile.  “Goodnight, Mercy.”  We shared a long, lingering kiss and I felt some of his fear in the desperate way he held me.  I tried to think if our positions were reversed, would I feel the same way?  What if Ben hadn’t come home from work, and I hadn’t been able to reach him on his cell, and his boss said he’d gone off duty and hadn’t been seen or heard from.  I suppose I could easily see myself climbing the walls while I waited for him to come home.  Holding him tightly, I took comfort in that feeling of being cared for.

As he locked up for the night and we trudged up the stairs to our respective rooms, I couldn’t help feeling guilty for having lied to him again.    But with any luck, I could keep those two facets of my life separate, and Ben would never have to know about the existence of angels among us.

After all, besides being healed and the business with Weatie, being changed by Sam’s Grace hadn’t had too much of an effect on my day to day life.  So I saw people’s souls?  That was more like an interesting party trick, it didn’t have to change how I lived my life.  I could help Sam out and then step right back into my regular life.  A life that didn’t include… the fallen angel lying on my bed.

At first I took a long blink, wondering if Adam’s appearance there was a mirage brought on by my over tired eyes, but he was still there when I opened them again.  “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I thought we should talk about why you really called me tonight.”  He wore that sexy smile that said he had his own theories already on that score.

“I thought I told you not to show up here whenever you like?”

“In case you haven’t already noticed, I don’t exactly do what I’m told, that’s Sam’s thing.”

“Why are you here, Adam?” I pressed, setting down my purse to unbutton my coat.

“I told you, I wanted to discuss what we both already know,” he grinned, sitting up on the edge of the bed.  “Ooh, Daddy likes…”  His eyes lit up when he saw my work uniform.

“You’re sick, you know that?” I shook my head, but he took the accusation in stride.  “I thought you had some other, more interesting plans for tonight?

“I decided this was more interesting,” he shrugged.

“What is it that you think we already know exactly?”

“That you can’t stop thinking about me.”  A smug smile fixed itself on his face.

True.  But I could hardly let him know that, it would give him far too much power over me.  “Oh please, can you get over yourself for a minute?  I have spent zero time drooling over you in the time we’ve spent apart.”

“They why did you call me?”

“I told you why, to help me talk some sense into Sam.  I didn’t think you’d be even more delusional than he is,” I snorted.

“Oh come on, Mercy, we both know Sam doesn’t have to make himself visible if he doesn’t want to.”  Adam rose from the bed and stalked towards me.  “This whole concern about the cops is just a smokescreen to catch my attention.  Well okay, it worked, you’ve got my attention now.”

“The cops, happen to be right next door.”  I pointed to the bedroom wall.  “So keep it down.  You did know Ben is the one who’s looking for Sam didn’t you?  So yes, I was a little concerned Sam would end up in the slammer considering he’s been following me around like a puppy dog ever since he came into my life.  Can you picture Sam in jail?” I took a step backwards as he got closer to my personal space than I was comfortable with.

A smile quirked at the corner of his mouth.  “He wouldn’t last a week.  I don’t know how he survives without me,” Adam gave a long drawn out sigh.  “Can’t you just take loverboy there and steer him in the wrong direction since you’ve got such an in with him?”

“I’d rather keep the lying to a minimum, thank you,” I replied, and it was true, I hated having to lie to Ben.  Especially after he’d been so nice to me.  “I’d appreciate it if you could actually help me out in this, for Sam’s sake.”

“What is Sam to you exactly?”

“A friend.  A friend I owe a pretty big debt to, I think you know something about that,” I pointed out, remembering his earlier words, about why he helped Sam with the money among other things.

“I guess I do at that,” Adam admitted, thoughtful for a moment.  “And what about Dudley Doright next door?  What’s the deal with him?  How come he’s not in here taking advantage of…”  His eyes dipped to travel down my body and up again.  “…the master bedroom?”

“He happens to be a gentleman, I’m sure you’ve heard of the concept before?” I quirked a brow at him.

“His loss.”  His grin turned wolfish and he took another step closer to me.  “Come on, Mercy. I like games, but when are you gonna admit I’ve gotten under your skin?”

“You know what?  I think you’re the one who’s been obsessing about me ever since we met.  I think it’s like you said, I’m a shiny new toy and you can’t stand that I won’t let you play with me,” I tossed back at him.

Something passed over his face but it was gone in an instant, his usual smirk replaced by a genuinely puzzled look.  “You really don’t feel anything do you?  No kind of pull towards me, like you want to kiss me maybe?” His expression turned hopeful.

“Ha, you stand a closer chance of getting a fat lip right about now,” I snorted.

Adam backed off, sinking down on the side of the bed, apparently lost in thought.

“Is that what you’re used to?  Women falling at your feet?  Is that an angel thing?”

“Humans tend to find us irresistible, you haven’t noticed that since the change?”  He was more subdued, even a little disappointed maybe.

That explained Parker’s sudden interest and the number of times I’d been hit on at work in the past week.  And what about Ben?  Suddenly I didn’t feel quite so chipper about my relationship with him.  How much of it was based on my shiny new allure courtesy of Sam’s Grace?  Feeling a bit subdued myself, I sat down on the bed next to Adam, lost in my own thoughts.

“I guess I’m not really human anymore, am I?”

His lips quirked at that.  “Sorry, kiddo, guess not.  I won’t pretend to know what it feels like to lose that, but I know what it’s like to be apart from the rest of the world.”

I had a glimpse in that soft smile of what Adam might be like without all the bedroom eyes and ego driving him.  At the depth of what loneliness must be like stretched on for millennia.  My hand reached for his and gave it a light squeeze.  That Adam I could get used to, wanted to get to know more about even, but then he opened his mouth.

“So, now that we got all that touchy feely crap out of the way, how about we move on to some touching and feeling?” He tugged at my hand in the same instant as he fell back on the bed, pulling me on top of him.

“Ugh, let go of me you pig!” I scowled, smacking him as hard as I could on the chest with my free hand for all of the good it did me.  All I noticed was how solid his chest was beneath me and got a sore hand for my trouble.

Adam promptly let go of my hand but wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me there.  “Ooh, you like it rough, huh?  It’s not my usual thing but I can work with it,” he grinned playfully.

I could tell he was trying to be funny but after facing an all too similar experience with Weatie not all that long ago, it was hard to find the humor in our positions.  “Let me go or I’ll show you rough,” I retorted, but I could hear my voice shaking, my eyes shiny with unshed tears despite my bravado as the feeling of helplessness grew to an almost unbearable level.

Releasing me instantly, Adam’s face registered surprise at my upset and then contrition.  “Hey, I was just screwing around, Mercy. I would never…”

A knock sounded at the door then, Ben’s voice low and urgent.  “Mercy?  Is everything alright?”

My eyes flew to the door in a panic before returning to Adam.  “Skip it, okay?  Just go home.  Please?”  Moving to the door, I leaned against it.  “Yeah, I’m fine Ben, hold on a second.”  Turning back to see if Adam was still there, I found the room conspicuously empty, the window wide open.

Taking a deep breath, I pulled the door open, fixing a smile into place.  “Hey.”

“I thought I heard voices but… are you, alright?”

“No, I’m fine. I’m sorry, I was on a phone call, I didn’t mean to disturb you.”  The excuse tumbled out.  He stared at me with the oddest expression on his face, and I wondered if I was disheveled from my tussle with Adam.  In looking down I noticed a soft glow emanating from my body, particularly noticeable in the faint light.  It began to dawn on me why he’d asked if I was alright, not because he thought I might be in danger in the bedroom, but because of the way I looked.

To my relief, almost as soon as I noticed it, the glow began to fade.  “I’m fine,” I repeated, since he still stared at me.  “I am kinda tired though…”  Not the most subtle of hints, but I hoped he would say something, anything at that point.

“Alright.  Sorry to bother you,” Ben nodded, still regarding me oddly as he stepped away from the door.

“Same here.  Goodnight, Ben.”  I offered him a smile and he returned it before disappearing into the next bedroom.

As if I needed more complications in my life…

* * *

A soft breeze stirred my hair, sending it tumbling down around my shoulders as I turned my face up to the sky, eyes sliding shut against the warm kiss of the sun.   The park bench was warm against my back from hours spent baking in the sun on a hot summer day but I wasn’t uncomfortably warm.  The gentle sounds of people playing in the park reached my ears, and I could pick out a few familiar voices.  Matty, Daphne, even Parker and Alice could be heard arguing over the proper way to light the barbecue.

Opening my eyes, I saw them sprinkled across the sun dappled grass like living flowers, all dressed in white, their auras glowing like colorful petals.  Everyone was there, Kara, Jilly and Walter too as well as other familiar faces.  I recognized Alexei from the mini-mart, my ex boyfriend Chet (ugh, that guy is a hot mess) and Mrs. Olivera from the floor below me.  I think I even saw my seventh grade math teacher Mr. Loudermilk out there, his combover suffering under the bright sunlight.

My name was on everyone’s lips, and my ears strained to hear what was being said, but I couldn’t make it out on the breeze.  “It’s too late.”  I heard Ben’s voice behind me and I turned to find him looking down at me, his soul gleaming brighter than those surrounding him.

“What’s too late?” I asked, shielding my eyes from the sun to get a better look at him.

“You don’t belong here anymore.”

I stiffened at the sentiment, feeling my mouth tug down into a frown.  “I’m the one who invited you here.”

“We never had a chance.”  Ben shook his head sadly, and it struck me how truly defeated he looked.  His shoulders slumped and he seemed worn out as though he’d aged five years since the last time I’d seen him.

“Ben, don’t say that…” I scrambled to my feet but he wouldn’t meet my gaze.  To my growing horror, he began to grow older still right before my eyes.  His dark hair became streaked with gray and deep creases lined his forehead.  What was happening?  “Oh my God, Ben… Are you okay?”

Ben sank onto the park bench beside me, giving no sign he’d heard me at all.  As I watched, his posture grew more stooped, his face etched with pain and sadness.

“Ben?  Ben can you hear me?”  Panic sliced through me as he didn’t so much as blink an eye. Looking up in alarm, I saw my friends and family were all still there, but moving in slow motion.  “Matty!” I called out, but he didn’t react either.  “Ben, talk to me.”  I hopped up, waving my hands in front of him.

He lifted his face and I thought he might have heard me, but instead he raised his eyes to the sky.  “We’ll miss you,” Ben said softly, his voice wizened and raspy; the voice of an old man.

This couldn’t be happening.

My hand reached for him but closed on open air as I found myself drifting farther away from him.  In desperation I lunged for the arm of the park bench, missing it by scant inches as I floated up into the air.  “No!” I screamed, flailing, but it didn’t seem to do any good as I rose up higher and higher, away from everyone I knew and loved.  Was this my punishment?  Was God ticked off at me for stealing some of Sam’s Grace?

The higher I got, the faster I started to travel, so that I had to squinch my eyes closed to keep from getting dizzy as I streaked through the clouds.  Gradually I came to realize I didn’t have that same sensation of floating anymore and I cracked my eyes open to find myself standing on a cloud outside the pearly gates.

It was just like you’ve seen it a hundred times in everything from movies to cartoons, with big golden gates and snowy clouds like fog swirling around my ankles.  A line of people queued up to file in, looking bored as if they were in line at the DMV.  At the front of the line, an angel with pure white wings stood at a podium deciding who could pass.  Was this heaven?  And more importantly, was my name on the list?

Not knowing what else to do, I took my place at the end of the line.  The errant thought came into my head - did he get his list from Santa?  Was it a study of who was naughty or who was nice?  Or was it more specific than that?  Would I get a ‘this is your life’ montage of my past transgressions?  The line seemed to be moving faster than that, and I tried to figure out if that was good or bad.

I couldn’t help but feel that at any time I’d draw notice I wasn’t like all the other people queued up to get into heaven and I’d get booted from the line.  Their souls gleamed bright against all the fluffy white up there and mine was… well… gone now, right?  Or at least changed enough that I’d never pass inspection.

I stepped up to the podium when it was my turn, swallowing back a wave of nervousness.

“Name,” the angel asked in a bored voice.  He seemed very young, but pretty in a Ken Doll sort of way.  His wings rustled and I looked up to see his blue eyes narrow in impatience.

“Oh, sorry.  Mercy.  Merceline Renault,” I replied, trying to see what kind of list he pored over, but I wasn’t quite tall enough to manage it.

“Nope, sorry.  Next.”  He looked past me to the person behind me in line and I was moved along briskly to the side.

That was it?  A trill of laughter drew my attention and I saw Daphne through the golden bars of the gates looking gloriously happy.  Dressed all in white, she truly looked as though she belonged with the angels with her perfect blond ringlets, clear blue eyes and rosy cheeks.  The very picture of goodness and light, I looked to see who she laughed with and spotted her parents looking healthy and happy.

Not too far away I found Matty looking older and more mature but with that same boyish twinkle in his eye.  He put an arm around a woman who I was surprised to recognize as my own mother, looking young and beautiful as I remembered her when I was a little girl.  She smiled in return and I saw something in her eyes I hadn’t seen in a long, long time.  Peace.

I didn’t even bother to look for my father, something told me I wouldn’t find him in there.

Screw this…  I grabbed a hold of the bars and gave myself a hoist up, trying to brace my feet to reach higher.  All of a sudden I felt strong hands on me pulling me from the gate and I held fast, not willing to give up my purchase.

“Mercy…”

Stunned to hear Adam’s voice, I turned, losing my hold at the same time and ended up crashing into his arms.  “Adam.  I need to get in there.”

The familiar smirk twisted his lips.  “Sorry, sugar, that’s not for us.”

“Oh come on, give me a boost.  They’re not even looking.”  I nodded my head towards the angel at the podium who ignored us in favor of his all powerful list.  I backed up towards the bars again, holding on tight.

“You don’t think they’ll spot you two seconds after you get in there?  No dice, kiddo.  Come on, let go of the bars.”

Unwilling to give up that easily, I tightened my hold again.  “But everyone I care about is in there, Matty, my mom… I can see them.  Ben!  I called out when I saw him talking to Daphne.  No one gave any sign they could see or hear me except for Adam and he wasn’t being helpful at all.

“Well, you’re not dead and you’re not an angel, genius.  So good luck in getting in there.”

He had a point.  But someday I’d die right?  “But eventually… eventually I’ll get to see them again right?”  I couldn’t help but pin all of my hopes on his answer.

Which never came.

He couldn’t even look at me, his gaze dropping.

I’d never see them again?  What kind of torture was this?  Maybe I wasn’t an angel, but I’d tried to live a good and decent life.  None of it was any of my fault.  I hadn’t asked to be saddled with Sam’s Grace, why couldn’t they take it back?  I couldn’t believe I was supposed to accept it.  But from the look on Adam’s face it was clear he thought there was no way out of it.

There had to be another way.  “Wait…”

“Shhhh, it’s time to go.”  Adam wrapped his arms around me again, gently disengaging my hands from the cool metal bars and pulling me into his embrace.

“But…”

There was a sudden rush of air as we rose into the sky and he pressed my face against his chest protectively.  I caught a glimpse of dark wings as I clung to him, scared to death he might let go of me and I’d plummet to the Earth.  As it turned out, I didn’t have to worry at all, his strong arms held me securely, tucked in close to his body.  His lips brushed against my hair, murmuring soft, unintelligible words against my temple that sounded soothing at least.

I concentrated on the sound of his heart, taking comfort in its steady beat as he bore us steadily down.  All too soon it was over and there was solid ground beneath our feet again.  Adam’s hands stroked my back for a moment, holding me close until I recovered enough to tilt my head up towards his.  His brilliant blue eyes were full of something other than sarcasm for once, but I couldn’t quite place the emotion.

“Don’t worry, Mercy.  It’s not as bad as you think.”  He chucked the bottom of my chin.

“What do you mean?” My brows drew together in puzzlement.

“It’s much more fun down here.”

“Yeah, sure,” I scoffed.  Was that sour grapes talking?

“Trust me, it’s not the raw deal you think it is,” Adam insisted.

“So, you’re saying you wouldn’t go back up there if you had the chance?” A skeptical brow rose.

“I think I’d rather stay down here with you.”  The bedroom eyes were back, and he nuzzled against the side of my face.

“Adam…”  My lips were quick to protest, but at the same time they turned towards his cheek, brushing against his smooth jaw.

“Don’t fight it, I know you feel it too.”

His lips found mine and whatever snappy comeback my brain formulated slipped right out of my head.  It felt like we were floating again, but my eyes were closed as our mouths chased after each other, searching for something and almost finding it.  It was over just as quickly as it began and my eyes popped open, surprised at his sudden withdrawal.  Why had he stopped?

“Call me when you want more than a taste.”

Oh I wanted more alright.  “Adam…” I called out, but he was already rising into the sky.  His wings weren’t visible, he just seemed to float away, leaving me all alone.  “Wait!  Adam…” I called him, why didn’t he return to me?  “Adamiel!”

I could still hear the echo of his name when I startled awake.  Had I yelled his name in the darkness of the bedroom?  My face hot and flushed from the power of that kiss, real or imagined, I let out a shaky breath, both relieved and disappointed to find it had all been a dream.  It took me quite a bit longer to fall asleep that time.

Chapter Eleven

Do you ever have those dreams where everything is so realistic you swear it’s actually happening?  Not me.  Invariably my dreams included the fantastical liberally mixed with the mundane.  Like the dream I had about the talking sharks in the swimming pool at the gym.  Or the one where the public transit bus turned into a hot air balloon and people had to jump for it at their stop.  For whatever reason, my mind liked to throw in a bit of craziness on a regular basis.  Daphne wasn’t even fazed by it anymore when I began a conversation with, “So, I was dreaming I was on a submarine with Little Orphan Annie…”

Strangely enough, with the way my life had been going lately, I couldn’t decide what was crazier, the dream or the reality?

It wasn’t too hard to interpret what my sleeping mind conjured up - the very real possibility I might never get to see my friends and family in the afterlife was a fear that loomed in a corner of my mind.

I was different, not quite human and not an angel. I was a new thing they kept saying.  I might live forever but then again, neither Sam nor Adam were able to definitively tell me I wouldn’t die and go to heaven.  Taking a deep breath, I repeated that shallow comfort to myself again.  Why go borrowing trouble for something that might never come to pass?

What I found more disturbing was how largely Adam loomed in the dream.  Since when was he the hero type?  It would have made more sense to have Sam there to talk me out of scaling the pearly gates like my own personal set of monkey bars.  Then again Adam had visited more recently, and his presence was nothing if not memorable.  Maybe that’s all it was?

And the kiss?

Just a harmless dream.

Yep.

And if you believe that, I’ve got some lovely swampland to sell you…

* * *

Ben was nowhere in sight when I got downstairs, and there was a note from him letting me know he’d gone in to work as usual.  Left to my own devices, I packed up my things, such as they were, and loaded Mimsy up into the car.

Mimsy loves to ride in the car, unlike any other cat I’ve ever known, as long as she’s allowed free reign of the vehicle.  Put her in a cat carrier and you’d think she was being tortured for all the yowling, but let her sit in the passenger’s seat so she can look out the window?  That’s a rare treat.  I’m sure it wasn’t the safest thing ever if we were to get into a car wreck, but it wasn’t like I took her with me wherever I went.

I left Ben a note of my own with the last of the jelly donuts, thanking him for his hospitality and letting him know I’d call him later.  Hopefully the awkward moments in the hallway outside the bedroom door would be smoothed over the next time I talked to him.

It was nice to be back in my own apartment.  Though I do admit, the first tour through the place had me a little spooked, given the last time I’d been there alone I’d been running for my life.  I made myself a mental note to have Matty install another lock on the door soon, since the one I had already was so easy for Weatie to pick.  Not that I expected anyone else to break into my home anytime soon, but better safe than sorry.

I set some laundry going and took out the garbage that had been sitting for a week. Then it was time to get ready to head over to Sam’s place to give him that haircut.  He hadn’t been exactly disapproving of my work uniform, but I decided to dress more conservatively, going with slim fitting jeans and a gray fisherman’s sweater over a boat necked t-shirt.

For a moment I considered calling Sam over to my place instead for the haircut.  I had everything I needed there, but it felt like an abuse of the power.  I didn’t want to be the Girl Who Cried Angel, and not have him hear when I might really need him.  So instead I swept a bunch of supplies into my big beach bag and drove over to his place.

That time he pulled open the door almost as soon as I knocked, an eager smile on his face.  “Hey,” I gave him a sunny smile.

“Hey,” Sam replied in kind, stepping back to let me in.  “You remembered.”

“Of course I remembered, we just talked about it last night,” I snorted, heading for the kitchen counter to lay out my supplies.  “I’ve been thinking about this haircut… do you trust me?”

“Of course,” Sam nodded instantly and it warmed my heart to hear it.

“I was thinking we’d go quite a bit shorter.  With some product we can control that curl and bring you into the twenty-first century, what do you think?”

“Okay,” he agreed, though from the expression on his face I wasn’t sure he knew what I meant exactly.  But he said he trusted me, and that was good enough for me.

“Can you bring that office chair into the bathroom?  I’ll bring this other stuff.”  He didn’t have much counter space in the bathroom, so I left some things on the kitchen counter and brought the essentials.  “Have a seat,” I instructed him once he crowded the chair into the small space.  Sam obediently sat down, watching me in the mirror.

“I’ve cut my brother’s hair lots of times, so you don’t have to be nervous at all,” I reassured him, neglecting to mention that it had been some time since I’d worked with the clippers as Matty started wearing his hair longer.

“I am not nervous,” he replied with perfect aplomb.

“First thing we do is put this sucker on you.”  Drawing out a big black garbage bag, I poked holes in for his head and arms and helped it onto him, while he obliged me.  “That’ll keep the worst of the hairs off of you,” I explained, securing the neck with a hair clip.

“It is bad to have hairs on me?” Sam asked with mild curiosity.

“They can itch like crazy, but you could always take a shower I guess if it gets bad.  You do um, shower, don’t you?”

“Yes, I bathe.”  The corner of his mouth tugged up into a smile and I felt my cheeks grow warm.

“Well, I didn’t know,” I admitted, filling up the spray bottle with tap water.  While my knowledge of angels did seem to be growing with each day that passed, I hadn’t learned much about their personal habits.

It was almost a crime to snip off his blonde locks, but it was for the best, I tried to remind myself as I started to cut his hair.  “When did you get the new chair?” I asked conversationally, to fill the silence as the scissors worked in my hand.

“Yesterday.  I thought you might like to… visit with me.”

It was a sweet gesture, and a step in the right direction as far as I was concerned.  “I’d like that sometime,” I smiled faintly, trying to concentrate on the task at hand.

“A place to sit would make you want to say longer, would it not?”

“That’s true, I suppose it would make me more likely to stay longer,” I allowed, smiling over the hopeful note I heard in his voice. “How come you don’t have a bed?” I remembered the question suddenly.

“I do not sleep.”

“Ever?” My scissors paused in mid air.  That had to get old after a while.

“There is no need.”

“Huh.”  I digested that, no wonder he had so many books.  “What about eating, do you ever eat?” He shook his head.  “Hold still,” I chided him lightly, my fingers pressing firmly against his skull until he stilled.  “But you could eat if you wanted to?”

“Why would I want to?”  Sam seemed genuinely puzzled over the idea.  “I have eaten before, fish and bread, many, many years ago.  It did not seem as though I missed much.”  He didn’t make an attempt to mask the dissatisfaction in the memory and I wondered how long ago that had been.  It was a cinch he wasn’t talking about a filet-o-fish sandwich from McDonald’s.

“Because it tastes good?  There are so many delicious things in this world, much more than bread and fish.  So many different flavors and spices and chocolate!  You’ve really never tried chocolate before?”  It seemed incredible for someone who had lived as long as he had.

“No.”  A pucker of worry appeared on his forehead and I felt bad for making him fret over it.  But come on, no chocolate?  What kind of an existence was that?

“Maybe you should sometime.  You might find you like what you’re missing,” I suggested, thinking it applied to more areas of his life than eating.

“I could eat.  If I wanted to,” he allowed, deep in thought.

“Lean down a little.”  I nudged his head and he gave me free reign to move him as I would.  Already he started to look different without the mass of hair hiding his features, and the new style was starting to take shape.  I went fairly short around the sides and back but a little longer on the top.

Just adding a spritz of water I was able to tell his hair would go into the style I had in mind.  Not quite a faux hawk, but suggestive of it, just a little more mature.  Grabbing the clippers, I worked at cleaning up the back.  In the mirror I saw his eyes had fallen shut, his expression relaxed.

Finally, I added a bit of gel into his hair, pleased to see it taking shape quite nicely, falling into an artful disarray.  “Well, what do you think?” I asked, proud of the results all things considered.

“I do not look like myself any longer.”

I laughed at the expression on his face as he turned first one way and then the other, studying the effect.  “That was the point, wasn’t it?”

Sam looked less than convinced.

“Do you like it?” I prompted him.

“Do you?”

“I think it suits you, I like it,” I nodded reassuringly, brushing some loose hairs from the top of his ear.

“Then I like it as well,” Sam smiled broadly.

Good God he was gorgeous… literally.  God created him in that image, hadn’t he?  I couldn’t fault his taste.  It was interesting how physically different he was to Adam, but each beautiful in their own right.  “Good,” I smiled back in relief.  “Now keep still, I’ll get you cleaned up.”  Brushing the hair from his neck and shoulders, I carefully peeled off the garbage bag, trying to keep the worst of the stray hairs from getting on him.

“You are finished?”

“Yep, I think so, except for cleaning up.  Do you have a broom we can clean this up with?”

“I will attend to it later.  Will you stay for a while and visit with me?  I bought some tea.”  His eyes shone shining with excitement that was hard to resist.  It struck me how lonely he must be, just as Adam was.  Each cut off from the world in their own way, but even more so for Sam who was so withdrawn.

“Sure, that sounds nice,” I grinned, rewarded with his sunny, uncomplicated smile.  While he started the preparations for tea, I wheeled the desk chair back into the living room before taking a seat in the new chair.  “How do you rent the apartment anyway?” I wondered aloud, thinking again about leases and ID and credit checks.

“Adam arranged it for me.  The paperwork is in one of his names, and the money is… arranged for.”  The details of it seemed a little vague, but I could see he didn’t spend much thought on it.  The ties between him and Adam were closer than I’d thought.

“That’s nice of him.  Don’t you ever worry what would happen to you if something happened to Adam though?”  From the look on his face, I could see the thought had never occurred to him.

“What could happen to Adam?  We are eternal.”

I was still wrestling with that concept and how it might affect me.  “Do you think I am too now?  I mean, since you gave me some of your Grace, will I live longer?”

“It is entirely possible,” he considered aloud.  “We may not know for several years though.”

He was right, only time would tell.  I tried to think of some of those other questions I’d been wrestling with, but nothing came to mind.  I should have taken Daphne’s advice and made a list…

Suddenly a random question popped into my mind.  “Did you know Jesus?”

Sam gave a shake of the head.  “I was already Fallen in the time of Christ.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” I said softly, wondering for the umpteenth time what he’d done to get cast out of heaven.

“It is of no moment.” He gave a very human looking shrug.

“You could tell me, you know.  If you wanted to, why you ended up among the Fallen,” I said gently, watching him out of the corner of my eye.

He was silent for a long pause, picking up a pair of mismatched mugs and setting them on the counter.  “Imagine your greatest shame, a shame so terrible it is almost unbearable to think on yourself.  Would you be so willing to share it with another?  To have her look at you with that shame mirrored back in her eyes?”

“I guess not,” I replied softly, feeling bad for having pressed him about it when he put it like that.  “I won’t ask you again.”

For the next hour or more we talked, I learned he’d lived in Seattle for the past ten years, lived in Portland before that, and San Francisco before that.  He’d lived all over the world at one time or another.  I’d never been beyond the west coast of the United States.  Born in California in the Bay Area, but primarily raised in Seattle.

He was interested in hearing about my childhood with Matty.  I was less eager to talk about my parents, but he didn’t push the subject, content to hear me talk about anything else.  I learned he’d known Adam since he was called into existence but Adam’s fall had preceded his, though he wouldn’t speak more on that.  They were friends of sorts the entire time, though they sometimes went decades without seeing each other in the past, they inevitably drifted back into each other’s company.

My opinion of Adam slowly expanded to consider he might be more than the man I met who was so full of himself there was barely room for his ego to fit through the door.  If I was actually touched with immortality, I supposed I’d have plenty of time to find that out, wouldn’t I?

Something Adam said came to mind then.  “Do you find that humans are naturally drawn to you?”

“Sometimes, but in general I move unnoticed by man.”

“Going unnoticed might not be a bad idea right about now.  How do you do it by the way?  Make people not notice you.”

Sam thought that over for a minute, and was clearly having trouble thinking of how to explain the process.  “It is easily done.  I simply think of myself as a shadow, existing apart from the human plane of existence.  It is as natural to me as walking.  In fact, it is harder for me to remember to be present without an anchor.”

“An anchor?”

“Yes, like you here now.  If someone were to encounter us as we are now, they would see me because I am sitting here with you.  Though you can see me no matter what my state, I am used to making myself visible when talking to others unless it is inappropriate to do so.”

“Like when we were at Ben’s?”

“Yes, I did not want him to see me.”

“So, if I make myself… dim, like a shadow…”  I closed my eyes, focusing on the idea of pulling myself apart from the world around me.  “Like this?” I opened my eyes to gauge his reaction.

“I do not know,” Sam shrugged helplessly.  “I would be able to see you in any case.”

“Oh, that’s right, I didn’t think of that.  I guess I can’t exactly go test it out on the neighbors, can I?” My teeth caught my lower lip as I mulled that over.  I’d have to try it out with a regular human being like Daphne or Matty.  And how bizarre was it that I no longer considered myself a regular human being?

“It would not be advisable, no,” he smiled.

“Tell me more about seeing people’s souls,” I prompted, liking the easy familiarity building between us.  As long as I asked him things he knew the answers to or weren’t shrouded in shame, he seemed to have no problem opening up to me. I took that as a good sign.

His smile widened as he warmed to the subject.  “All angels have the ability to read the quality of a person’s soul.  It appears as a nimbus around them, reflecting their basic qualities as well as defects within them.”

“Charles Weatie’s soul was that dingy dark red with black splotches.”

“Yes, the dark red indicates he was a violent, troubled man, prone to fits of anger even as a child.  The worse his deeds grew as he lived, the more darkness riddled his soul, hence the dark, diseased patches.”

“What about my soul?  What color am I?” I asked with interest.  The effect didn’t work in the mirror and when I looked at my hands they looked normal, with none of the halo effect that surrounded Sam or Adam or hints of any other color apart from when I’d noticed the brief glow the night before.

“Your soul was a beautiful tranquil green, with bright yellow accents.  It marked you as a warm, caring person, with a joy for life untainted by living in this modern age.    The quality of your soul drew me to you in the hospital, let me know you were worth saving.”

That was probably the nicest compliment anyone had given me, and I was taken aback by the eloquence of his description.  “Wow, you can tell all of that from the colors?”  He operated on a completely different level than I’d thought possible.

“It is more than the appearance of the colors, we can sense the underlying qualities when we study the souls, it will come to you in time.”

Would it?  It was strange to think of myself in those terms.  “Wait, you said was… it’s not anymore?  What does it look like now?”

Sam’s eyes swept over my features, studying me again.  “Now, you look like one of us.  The same warm, golden halo that embraces all angels.”

“I do?”  I looked like an angel?  No wonder Adam stared at me so intently when we’d first met.  I was willing to bet I was the only female with that angelic glow, as I had never heard of an angel that wasn’t a man.  “Are there any angels that look like me?  Female I mean?” I found myself asking.

“No, there are some select angels that are neither male nor female, but the rest of us are exclusively male.”

“Interesting…”  There certainly was a lot to think about, but my phone rang, interrupting the conversation.  I’d been sure to turn the ringer up good and loud before leaving the house and it cut through shrilly in the quiet room.  A quick check of the display showed it was Ben calling.  “Excuse me a minute, I have to take this.”  I spared a brief smile for Sam before I rose and walked to the window.  “Hey Ben, I missed you this morning.”

“For a minute there I thought I was going to have to send out a squad of black and whites to hunt you down,” he chuckled.

“It’s the middle of the day, I wasn’t aware that was worthy of a search party quite yet,” I returned, not sure if he was teasing or actually worried about me again.

“What happened to you?  I thought you were going to come in and take a look at those mug shots to track down that guy from the alley.”

Crap.  I’d totally forgotten about that!  Where was my head lately?  “Sorry Ben, I completely forgot all about it.  Is it too late to come down now?”

“It’s alright, I tried to stick around the precinct so I’d be here, but the Captain’s been giving me the eye like he’s going to assign me another case if I don’t get my butt out on the street soon.  I can stick it out a while longer if you can make it here in the next hour or so.”

He was being a good sport about it and I appreciated that.  “Okay, I’ll be right there.  I swear, I’m not always this much of a flake,” I promised, and it was usually true.  I was more responsible than not, it just felt like I was being pulled in a lot of directions at the same time.

“Uh huh, likely story,” Ben teased, and I smiled at his tone of voice, picturing the expression on his face.  “See you soon.”

“‘Kay, bye.”  Hanging up, I turned back to face Sam, tucking my phone into my purse.  “Sorry, I have to run.  It’s time to go throw the cops off your scent.”  Sam blinked at that and I could see him processing the words.  “Throw them off your track.  I’m going down to the police station to look at pictures of suspects.  I won’t point them at the wrong person exactly, but I’ll try to steer them in the wrong direction.  In the meantime, no more brown coat, remember?”

“I’ll remember.”

He looked so different with the haircut, almost like a new man, and I gave him an encouraging smile.  “I’m off then.  Thanks for the tea and the chat, it was nice.”

“Thank you for the haircut and the conversation, it was nice,” Sam nodded, echoing my sentiment.

With a final nod I left him to whatever it was he did all day, toes tapping with impatience as the slow elevator made its way up and down to take me to the ground level.  Now that I knew Ben was sitting around at the precinct on my account, I was eager not to keep him waiting too much longer.

In the end it was another case of hurry up and wait.  As soon as I got there, Ben was pulled into a briefing and I had to sit around waiting for him to be done before he could even get me set up at a computer to look through shots of Weatie’s known associates.  It turned out to be much more boring than it sounded, pretending to look at each of them carefully enough to give the appearance I was cooperating.  If I’d really been looking, I think I might have moved through them faster, but as it was, I spent so much time trying to look diligent, I think I ended up wasting more of our time.

After coming up empty, I gave Ben a suitably disappointed look, and he wrapped an arm around my shoulder.  “Come on, let’s go get a cup of coffee.”

It felt nice that he was openly affectionate with me at work, and I smiled sunnily as I nodded and followed him to the coffee shop around the corner.

“I saw you took your stuff home, I would have helped you,” Ben mentioned, after we had our coffees in hand.

“There wasn’t all that much to move.  Just the one bag and Mimsy’s things. I wanted to get out of your hair.”

“I kind of like having you in my hair.”  He gave me that smile I loved so much, but I couldn’t help the errant thought - did he like me or was it the angelic allure?

“Thanks for that.  Things are a little crazy right now though.”

Ben took a long drink of his coffee, but I couldn’t shake the feeling he was studying me carefully for a moment.  “Mercy, I can tell there’s something going on with you.  Whatever it is, you can tell me.  Maybe I can help?”

Busted.  Damn him and his supercop powers of observation…  I was tempted to tell him everything from the beginning, but something kept me from getting into it.  Maybe it was because we were in a public place, although that hadn’t kept me from talking to Daphne, had it?  Instead I shook my head.  “It’s nothing like that.  I don’t need help exactly, I just have a lot going on.”

Ben accepted that, taking another thoughtful drink of coffee and I did the same before he worked up the courage to ask.  “Can I see you again?”

“Of course,” I answered readily. He didn’t think I was breaking up with him did he?  If you could even call it that.  Apart from the one brunch at Lolly’s, we hadn’t made it on an official date yet, but we had sort of lived together, even if it was out of necessity.  It was an awkward position to be in for the beginning of a relationship but I definitely wanted to see where it would lead.  “Just because I’m not ready to move in with you doesn’t mean I don’t want to see you again.”

He smiled at that.  “I guess I jumped the gun a little.”

“It’s okay.  I know my lasagna is hard to resist,” I grinned, nudging him with my elbow as we walked outside.

“Ah, but you haven’t even tasted my cooking.  Come to think of it, maybe that’s for the best.  How about I take you out to that dinner we never got to have?  Severino’s, your next night off?”

“It’s a date.”  I leaned over and dropped a quick kiss to his lips.  “I should let you get back to work.”

Ben’s arm came around my waist and pulled me closer.  “I enjoyed the distraction, but yes, I should get back to it.”

“That’s what I am, a distraction?” I raised a brow at him.

“No, you’re perfection,” he amended, turning me to face him.

I opened my mouth to protest that obviously flawed sentiment, but my reply was swallowed by his kiss.  By the time we came up for air, I had forgotten any objections, along with whatever it was we’d been talking about.

“Call you later?” Ben promised, releasing me as we got to my car.

“Sure. I’m working tonight, so don’t freak out if I’m not available.”

“I promise not to send out the bloodhounds if I go to voicemail,” he grinned.  “But call me when you get home safely.”

“Deal,” I promised, stealing a final kiss before I got into my car.

Chapter Twelve

I decided I had enough time to stop by and see Matty before I had to think about getting ready for work.  As I drove into the familiar neighborhood, I couldn’t help but think about Sam and our visit together.  It seemed like as good a time as any to try out that invisible thing angels did, have a heart to heart with my brother in the process, and fill him in on what was going on.

As I stood outside his apartment door, I thought back to Sam’s words, about how he tried to make himself a shadow.  I had no way of knowing if I did it correctly, but I focused on that feeling, of shielding myself away from the thoughts of others.  When I thought I had it down, I raised my hand to knock on the door, waiting to see Matt’s reaction.

Matt came to the door, and looked out into the hallway… right past me, as if I wasn’t standing a foot from him.  In amazement, I raised my hand and waved it in front of his face, but got no reaction.  Buoyed by the taste of success, I jumped up and down, watching him to see if the noise from my footfalls caught his notice, but he was already turning away to shut the door again.  “Holy crap, it works…” I murmured, and his head came up sharply, noticing me there all of a sudden.

“Geez, how long have you been standing here?” he demanded, doing a double take as he glanced up and down the hallway.

“You can see me?”

His eyes narrowed at me like I’d asked him a trick question.  “Of course I can see you.  Why wouldn’t I?”

“Let’s go inside and I’ll tell you all about it,” I suggested, stepping past him into the apartment.  Maybe it was childish, but I admit I had fun messing with my brother a little.  Payback for all of those years of torture as a kid when I couldn’t escape his constant shadow.

“Yeah, okay,” he agreed easily enough, sounding only mildly curious.  The moment his back turned to shut the door I focused on fading out again, watching him carefully to see if it worked.  Sure enough, when he turned around, he looked for me, moving deeper into the apartment.  “Merce?”

It was going easier than I thought it would.  Picking up a pair of salt and pepper shakers, I waved them in the air, wondering if he’d see me, the shakers moving by themselves or nothing at all.  Matty paid them no mind.  Apparently anything I touched escaped his notice as well.  “This is so weird.”

Matt jumped as I came back into view just a couple of feet away from him.  “Christ, how in the hell did you do that?” he gasped, a ridiculously stunned expression on his face.

It seemed to only work when I was silent, but maybe that would change with practice?  After all, Sam had been able to speak with Ben in the room and I was the only one who could hear him.  I felt a little bad at having freaked Matt out at any rate, and set down the salt and pepper shakers.  Time to come clean.  “So… I have something to tell you.”  Sitting him down, I glossed through the events of the past couple of weeks, starting with how I’d managed to survive the knife attack and ending up with my earlier trip to the police station.

Matty sat in a bit of a stupor and I wondered if I’d given him too much information at once.  I love my brother to death, but he’s never been all that swift on the uptake.  Needless to say he believed me, I’d given him physical proof of my ability to fade away from sight.  In fact, he seemed intrigued by it.  Spurred on by his curiosity, we did some experimentation with it.

We found that I couldn’t do it if he was already looking at me and expecting to see me there.  But if he looked away even for an instant, I could vanish from his sight.  Small objects could be camouflaged as well, but bigger things like the chair I sat on remained visible, he just couldn’t see me in them.  It also broke any time I spoke aloud, though I could make simple sounds like bumping into something or sighing and still escape his notice.

Matt seemed to grow more and more excited with each trial and I had to finally sit back and shake my head at him.  “Why are you so jazzed about this, Matty?  I mean it’s a neat trick, but all things considered, it’s kind of the least of my worries right now.”

“Are you kidding, Mercy?  We can make a fortune with this!”  His eyes shone with avarice and a sinking feeling slid into the pit of my stomach.

My eyes narrowed with suspicion, had I made a mistake in telling him about it?  “What do you mean?  No one can know about this, Matt.  Promise me you won’t tell anyone.”

“Of course not, I wouldn’t want anyone to know.  Duh, I’m not stupid,” he gave me a lopsided grin.  “You gotta think bigger picture here, Merce.”

I waited for him to get to his point, still not feeling any better about the direction his thoughts were going.  “And that would be…?”

“Vegas baby!” he crowed, convinced in the simple brilliance of those two words.

“Las Vegas?” I repeated skeptically.

“Hell yeah, Las Vegas!” Matty nodded, his eyes alight.  “All we gotta do is get invited to one of those high stakes poker games and then you could walk around and look at everyone’s cards and then show me what they’re holding and we’ve got it made in the shade.”

“You’re talking about cheating at cards?” I blinked, stunned at the suggestion.  Matt was a lot of things, but dishonest had never been one of them.  Or did I not know my little brother as well as I thought I did anymore?

His face fell when I didn’t instantly embrace the plan.  “For starters.  I’m sure we can think of all kinds of uses for this little talent.  You could probably… walk into a bank vault and no one would ever notice.  Or a jewelry store, or a video game store!”  He was on a roll again and I hated to bring him down but I was already shaking my head.

“No way.  There’s no way I’m doing that, Matty.  I’m pretty sure I can go to hell for using a gift from God for petty larceny.”

“Who said anything about petty?  I’m talking about cashing in big,” he grinned, completely missing my point.  “And you didn’t get it from God, you got it from Sam.  God probably doesn’t even know you’re subletting it.”

It was an interesting argument, but not one I was willing to even start debating.  “That’s a risk I’m not willing to take.”  My resolve was firm and to tell the truth, I was a little shocked Matt was so quick to jump on the criminal bandwagon.  Were things really that bad for him?

“Oh come on, Merce, how can you go to hell if you never even die?” his voice took on a wheedling tone.

“We have no idea what’s gonna happen to me. God could decide tomorrow to take it back, or I might live out a normal lifespan.  Either way, I’m not turning to a life of crime now just because I can.  You were raised better than that Matthias Renault.”  I poked a finger at his chest to emphasize my point.

“No, I wasn’t,” Matt griped.  “Look at Dad.”

“We don’t talk about him,” I reminded him, my mood already soured. I didn’t want to make it worse.  While I avoided my mother sometimes because I didn’t feel like dealing with her, that paled in comparison to my relationship, or lack thereof, with my father.  I hadn’t seen him in years, and I wanted to keep it that way.  Matty knew that, and I could see from his face he’d realized his mistake.  Any chance of winning me over to his point of view was effectively squashed once he brought up our father as an argument for his side.  And yet, he still gave it one last ditch effort.

“Come on, Mercy, things like this don’t happen every day.  You should take advantage of it while you can.”

Rising to my feet, I slung my purse over my shoulder.  “I’m sorry I told you,” I grumbled.  “I’m going to work.  You know, that thing that most people do to earn money?”

“Mercy…” Matt sighed, climbing to his feet to follow me.  “Don’t be like that…”

Once I was outside in the hallway, I hid myself from his sight, not wanting to deal with it anymore.  It turned out to be a pretty useful skill to have after all.

* * *

I was glad to get to work and back into my normal routine.  It was kinda slow though and the shift dragged.  Kara had already gone home but Jilly kept me company by the bar.  Even Walter hung out talking to us instead of watching the door.  Parker spent almost the entire night in his office going over paperwork so we were even more lax, not even putting in the appearance of trying to keep busy.

“Too bad we’re stuck here, I’d much rather be at home with my feet propped up,” I sighed, wishing I hadn’t worn new shoes that weren’t quite broken in enough to last through a whole shift.

“Propped up on a certain cop?”  A teasing smile lifted Jilly’s lips as she nudged me in the shoulder.

“I wouldn’t say no to that,” I smiled back, though I had no plans to see Ben that night after work.

“Me neither, how cute was he?”

“This is where I head back to the door.”  Walter excused himself with an embarrassed smile, and I felt bad, knowing he had a thing for me I didn’t feel in return.

“Sorry, we didn’t mean to chase you away,” I called after him, but he just waved and moved back to his post.  “Poor Walter, he needs to find a nice girl,” I mused aloud.

“I’m pretty sure he already thinks he did,” Jilly sighed, eyes on him as well.

“I’ve never let him think I was interested in him like that.”  I was straight with him from the start, not wanting to lead him on.

“I know, I’m just saying…”  Jilly poured herself another diet soda and grabbed a fresh straw.  “You should get out of here, go see your boyfriend.  At least one of us has one,” she urged me.

Jilly is all of five foot one inches, blonde hair and blue eyes and looks like she couldn’t hurt a fly.  Until she opens her mouth and lets loose the most cutting tongue I’ve ever heard from a person.  Most of the words that come out of her mouth are sarcastic, at least until you get to know her.  If she was sans boyfriend, she had only one person to blame, but I wasn’t about to say that to her face.  She was still a good friend and coworker to have.

“I’m pretty sure Parker would flip out if took off, and besides, my jacket and keys are locked up in his office,” I pointed out.  Of course I did have the ability to sneak in there and get them without attracting his attention, but I could hardly tell her that, could I?  Besides, the boss would really flip if he found out I left without talking to him, even if I did get away unnoticed.

“Then go ask him if you can cut out early.  All he can say is no, right?” She shrugged a shoulder.  “It’s not like Walter and I can’t handle the crowd.”  Jilly jerked her head towards the one pack of girls who braved the rainy night for a round of cocktails and dancing.  “I remember how to make an Appletini.”

“You really wouldn’t mind covering the bar?”  Once she planted the idea in my head, it started to sound better and better.

“Nah, I’ve got to stick it out here anyway, why shouldn’t at least one of us have a good time?”

“I’ll go ask him.  Thanks, Jilly, I owe you one,” I grinned, pulling a glass down and making Parker’s favorite drink, a Snakebite.  Yukon Jack and lime juice. I thought it was repellant in every way, but he seemed to like them and it couldn’t hurt to grease the wheels a little.  “Wish me luck.”

Pausing outside his office, I decided to concentrate on masking my presence again, to see if I could open the door without him noticing, or if I could only enter a room unseen if the door was already open.  It worked like a charm, and Parker paid me no mind, his attention focused on the computer monitor on his desk.

He was frowning to himself, which was never a good sign.  Suddenly I felt less like spying on him and set the glass down on the desk, moving back before I spoke.  “Hey, boss.”

Parker startled visibly, immediately letting out a string of curses.  “Fuck, Mercy, where the hell did you come from?” He ran an unsteady hand through his dark blonde hair.

A pang of guilt went through me for scaring him, and I gave him a sheepish smile.  “Oh, you didn’t hear me come in?”

“I guess not,” he frowned.

“I thought you could use a break, so I brought you a drink.”

His expression eased a bit then and he smiled weakly, reaching for the glass.  “Thanks, that’s nice of you.”

“I’m sorry if I scared you.”

“Don’t worry about it, honey.”  He took a deep drink and set the glass down.  “Things are that slow out front, huh?”

“Yep, they’re pretty dead actually.  We just have a small group of girls working their way up to a male strip club I think,” I joked.  “Hey, I was wondering if I could maybe cut out early tonight?”  Giving him my most winsome smile, I waited for his response.

“Got a date with the cop?”

“Maybe.”  It wasn’t a no, that was a good sign.

“That’s still going on, huh?”  A shake of the head was given.  “You really go for that knight in shining armor type now?  I always thought you liked the bad boys.”

“Sometimes,” I allowed. I hadn’t thought he paid much attention to the guys I dated in the past, he’d never said anything about it before.

“You’re being a little evasive tonight.”  His eyes narrowed as he took another drink.

“A girl likes to have a little bit of mystery,” I smiled mischievously and he chuckled at that.

“So I see.”

“So, can I leave early?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Thanks Parker, you’re my favorite boss,” I grinned, all but skipping towards the door where I retrieved my purse and coat and pulled off my apron.

“Hey, where are you going if you’re not going out with the cop?” Parker called out as I opened the door.

“A girl likes to have a little bit of mystery,” I repeated with a smile, dropping him a wink.

Chapter Thirteen

It turned out I left work early for no reason.  Ben wasn’t available to come over, so instead I did some girly pampering things which were long overdue.  Taking a bubble bath (Mimsy loves bubbles!  She’s a regular fixture in the bathroom whenever I take one) and painting my toenails, catching up on my favorite magazine.  Nice, normal, mundane things that didn’t have anything to do with murder investigations or angels or Las Vegas.  I went to bed at a decent hour and slept the sleep of the innocent, no dark or crazy dreams.  Or at least none I remembered.

The next day was my day off, which meant a real dinner date with Ben, which meant I was in a great mood all day.  I got my household chores done early in the day, paid my bills, went to the grocery store, all the errands I put off on work days, with plenty of time to get ready for my date.

Since we were going to Severino’s I decided to go with a little black dress, always appropriate, and took the opportunity to wear the killer heels I never got to wear.  Black stilettos with two thin ankle straps.  A bit of a pain to walk in, but they made my legs look great.  I left my hair loose to cascade down my back in soft waves, and set the smoky eyes and deeply stained lips the girl at Macy’s assured me was in that season.

When the doorbell rang, I hurried to the door, forcing myself to take a calming breath before I opened it.  Carefully, I arranged my hair just right; I wanted to knock his socks off the moment he saw me.  “Hey.”

The smile froze on my face as I found Adam standing there instead of Ben.  He was dressed all in black again, and I was starting to learn it was his favorite look.  It suited him, I had to admit, with his dark hair and piercing blue eyes, he was more handsome than any man had a right to be.

Adam let out a low whistle, boldly looking me over from my head to my feet and back up again.  “Very nice.  A little overdressed for what I had in mind, but I’m not complaining.”  With that he walked into the apartment, leaving me standing there gaping in the doorway.

I was quick to recover, chasing after him.  “You can’t be here.”

“What?  I’m behaving. I followed your stupid rule, I knocked.”

“I happen to be having company over.  You remember Ben, the nice policeman?” I gave him a pointed look.

Adam seemed unconcerned, plopping down on my couch and picking up a magazine.  “Great, what are you making for dinner?”

“We’re going out…”  I stared at him in dismay as he made himself comfortable.  Mimsy hopped up on the couch beside Adam and gave him one of her odd little squeaks, not quite a meow, butting her head against his hand until he got the message and gave her a pat.  “See, your cat likes me.”

“Yeah, she also cleans between her toes with her tongue, there’s no accounting for taste,” I retorted.  “You need to leave before he gets here.”

“Why?  I didn’t kill anybody.  And in case you missed it, I don’t fit Sam’s description at all now do I?” he smirked up at me.

“Adam…”  Another knock came at the door and I looked back and forth between them.  “You’d better make yourself disappear if you know what’s good for you!” I hissed, moving back to the door.  Of course I had no idea if he’d taken my warning to heart because I could still see his head over the top of my couch and hear the flip of the magazine.

“Hey,” I tried again as I opened the door, considerably more flustered that time.

Ben stood on the other side, and he looked suitably impressed by my efforts.  “Wow, you look gorgeous,” he smiled, leaning in to kiss my cheek.

“Thanks, you look nice too,” I complimented him, and he did look very handsome in his suit and tie.  “So we should probably…”

“Hi, I’m Adam, you must be Ben,” Adam interrupted, coming up from behind me, he held out his hand.  Oh, I could have killed him in that moment!  Assuming I could find a way to kill an angel of course.

I could tell Ben was confused, but he accepted Adam’s hand anyway.  “I am.  And you would be?”

“My cousin, Adam,” I supplied quickly, not wanting to hear what might come out of Adam’s mouth next on his interpretation of our relationship.  It wasn’t exactly a lie.  If he considered Sam as a brother, cousin might very well define our relation in a manner of speaking.  “He’s just dropping by unannounced, he does that sometimes.”  I shot him a look to let him know I wasn’t at all pleased, but Adam looked happy as a clam, shaking Ben’s hand.

“Yep, her cousin, that’s me,” he grinned.  “What are you kids up to for tonight?”

“Out to dinner,” Ben replied, studying Adam intently.

I recognized that look, and tugged at his arm.  “I have been looking forward to it all day, so we should probably be going.  Adam you’ll probably want to…”

“Sounds like a hoot.  Don’t worry, Cous, I’ll be fine.  Don’t pay any attention to me.”  He was already walking back to my couch, propping his feet up on my coffee table and picking up the TV remote.

I hovered there for a moment, not sure if I should enlist Ben’s help in trying to toss him out.  Then again… I could hardly keep Adam out once I’d gone, and it seemed easier to deny him the attention he sought after.  “Alright, suit yourself.  Just try not to… touch things too much,” I couldn’t help but add, earning me another strange look from Ben.  “Enjoy your evening alone,” I shot back at him.  A raised hand was all I got in response, Adam didn’t even look back to acknowledge we were leaving.

Ben raised his brows as I pulled the door shut behind me.  “Don’t ask.  Do you have any pain in the ass family?”

“Actually no, not really.  I was an only child.”  He hadn’t mentioned that before.

“You want mine?”

* * *

Dinner was… fantastic. Great food, even better company, I couldn’t remember the last time I enjoyed an evening out more.  It was even easy to forget I had an angel at home squatting on my couch (or possibly going through my underwear drawer) at the same time.  I reasoned that Adam had probably gotten bored after the first ten minutes and took off after that.  I only hoped he remembered to lock up when he left.

It was cool but clear out when we left the restaurant, and I contemplated asking Ben if we could go back to his place when a dark figure emerged from the shadows.  Ordinarily I might not have thought twice about it.  We were in a busy parking lot, not some seedy dive and I was with a cop.  Who better to protect me, right?  But the man stopped right in front of us, directly blocking our path, staring at me intently.  His bright blue eyes and the golden glow surrounding him marked him as an angel.  Only, I had the feeling he wasn’t one of the Fallen by the imperious look he gave me.

Uh oh…

He was intimidating in the extreme.  Harder looking than either Sam or Adam, with craggy but attractive features, he appeared older than the other two angels.  Dressed in a long black cloak over dark, shapeless clothes, he looked as though he’d stepped out of time.  Apparently he wasn’t at all concerned about trying to blend in with normal people.

“How came you by God’s Grace?” he asked, virtually ignoring Ben beside me.

Oh shit… “I…I’m not sure what you mean,” I hedged, trying to side step him but he moved to block my path.

“We both know you are not of the heavenly host.  I will not ask again, how came you by God’s Grace?”

“Hey, why don’t you take it down a notch, pal?  I think there’s been a mix-up here,” Ben began in a reasonable tone of voice.

The angel ignored him, his focus entirely on me.  I wasn’t sure what to say.  Would Sam get into trouble for giving me some of his Grace?  “Just let us pass,” I said in a small voice I hardly recognized as my own.  In the dark parking lot I became aware my skin started to glow softly, and I tried anything I could think of to get it to go away before Ben noticed.

Making no move to step out of our way, the angel looked down his nose at me.  “You wear our Grace, but you smell of humans,” he said with distaste.

“Okay, I didn’t want to have to do this, but I’m a cop.  Okay, buddy?” Ben flashed his badge, inserting himself between us.

“You are of no concern to me.”  The angel didn’t spare him a glance.  Ben bristled at that and I held on tightly to his arm, not wanting him to engage the angel and possibly get hurt.  “Woman, you try my patience.”

He was starting to try mine as well.  Angel or not, the guy was a pompous ass.  “Hey, there’s no need to be rude.  Who died and made you the boss of the world?” I scowled.  “And there’s nothing wrong with the way humans smell.”  I thought I smelled pretty good in fact, I was wearing my favorite perfume, Eau de Lune.

The angel’s eyes bulged with anger, and I seriously thought his head might explode then.  Like as not he probably hadn’t been spoken to by humans like that before, but I refused to take a step backwards.  If someone was angry I had the Grace, there was nothing I could do about it.  Just as quickly I started to rethink mouthing off to him though as he looked like he wanted to smite me where I stood.  Could angels call down holy fire and all that business?  I resolved to ask Adam about it the next time I saw him.

“Hello, Nathanael,” Adam’s voice spilled into the parking lot as he emerged from behind a dark SUV.  Speak of the devil…

“Adamiel…” the angel sneered.  At least it wasn’t just humans he looked down on, he was an equal opportunity snob.  “I might have known you would be involved.  Is this your doing?” He tossed his head in my direction.

“Why do you want to know?” Adam’s eyes narrowed as he regarded his fellow angel.  “Are you guys that bored up there?  You’re inventing trouble?”

“This is not to be taken lightly, you know this.  Or have you become so debauched even the simplest of rules is beyond your recollection?”

“You and I know I’ve never been big on rules, have I?” Adam tossed a wink in my direction and I tried to relax.  It couldn’t be that much trouble if he was still cracking jokes, could it?  Or was he that reckless?  He had pissed off God enough to get cast out of heaven after all.  Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to rely on Adam as my savior, but he was all I had to work with and it was a touch comforting to see that fearless look in his eyes.

“What’s going on here?” Ben interjected, completely lost by the exchange.

Nathanael gave a distracted wave of the hand and Ben’s face went slack, his eyes staring at a point far off in the distance.

“Hey, what did you do to him?” I demanded, feeling a bolder with Adam there.

“Relax, he’s fine, he won’t remember a thing,” Adam replied, which was good because Nathanael ignored my question.  In fact, he ignored me altogether as he pressed Adam for answers.

“Why would you do this?  Why would you risk His wrath over a woman?  Did you learn nothing before?”  Nathanael sounded at a loss to understand what he perceived as Adam’s actions.

Adam’s jaw tightened, hands clenching into fists, but just as quickly his easy smile returned.  “What’s the big guy gonna do, damn me doubly?  You know you can’t act without orders.  Go blow your horn somewhere else.” He took a challenging step towards Nathanael.

For the longest moment the two angels stared back at each other, neither speaking nor backing down, and I had to remember to breathe when tiny pinpricks of light began to swim across my vision.  Then Nathanael seemed to come to a decision.

“Very well, we shall attend to this another time.” He gave a pointed look in my direction.

Why did that not sound so good to me?  “Wait…” I interrupted, “If you need to take it back I understand.  I didn’t ask for this.”  If that was what it would take to drop all of the posturing, I’d gladly give it up.

“Mercy, you don’t have to do that, you…”

“Hey, zip it, Adam, the grownups are talking.”  The last thing I wanted was for his mouth to screw things up.

Nathanael’s head cocked to one side, and I was reminded of Sam.  “Would you truly surrender the Grace you have stolen?”

“I didn’t steal anything, but yes.  Go ahead and take it now if you want to.”  I took a step towards him.

The angel took an immediate step backwards, retreating from my outstretched hand, his expression inscrutable.  “How very interesting,” he said at long length.  “I shall relay what I have learned here,” Nathanael said cryptically.   “Adamiel.”  A short bow was given and Adam gave him a mocking salute in return.

“Always a barrel of laughs.  Say hello to Raziel for me,” his expression darkened.

A pained expression flickered across Nathanael’s face for a moment, and then he launched himself straight up into the sky so fast that all I caught was a blur of wings, their breath stirring my hair as I stared up after him.

“Well, that could have gone better.  I wondered when we were gonna see those guys.  See, it’s proof no good deed goes unpunished.”  Adam gave a disgusted sigh.

“You expected a visit like that?  You could have warned me you know.”  I punched Adam on the shoulder, hard.  But he gave no sign it bothered him at all.

“Honestly they were a little quicker on the uptake than I gave them credit for.  But I guess it’s not every day something like you turns up.”

“Someone.  I’m not a thing.”  Maybe it was a petty argument, but the distinction was important to me, at least.

“Sorry,” Adam grinned, and he actually looked contrite at the slip.

“What about Ben?  Is there something you can do to fix him?”  He still stared off into the distance, and it started to creep me out.  How long would he be stuck that way?  Too much longer and someone was bound to notice.

“He’ll be alright in a minute.”  Adam waved away my concern as unimportant but I was less easily deterred.

I lightly rubbed Ben’s cheek, patting it lightly when I got no response.  “Ben?  Can you hear me?”

“I told you, he’ll be fine.  You’ll probably have a few uncomfortable questions to answer, but he’ll be fine.”

“I thought he wouldn’t remember anything?”

“He won’t remember anything after Nate put him out, but everything before that?  Yeah, he’ll remember.”

Super.  How was I going to explain all of that?  Maybe I could pass it off as a weird homeless guy?  Or maybe an ex-boyfriend?  But how to explain Adam’s sudden appearance?  It was enough to make my head hurt.  “So, what happens now?” I asked, rubbing my temples.

“Get rid of the stiff and we’ll talk.”

On second thought, the last thing I wanted was another round of Adam’s wit.  “I don’t want to talk to you right now, Adam.  If you’re not gonna help me with Ben… just go on home.”  I stared into Ben’s vacant eyes, willing him to come back to me.

“What, no ‘thank you for saving me from being turned into a pillar of salt’?  Fine, suit yourself.”

He had a point, his intervention had been sort of helpful.  I had the impression Nathanael had been about to lose his patience with me and Adam provided a nice target for some of that ire.  “Thank…you…”  As I turned back to thank him, I found that he’d disappeared.  Damn, I’d gone and hurt his feelings.  Who would have guessed he had any?

“Are you going to answer me or…” Ben blinked, looking at the empty parking lot in confusion.  “Wait… where?”

Thinking fast on my feet, I gave his arm a little pat.  “Hey, are you feeling better?  I thought you were gonna pass out there for a minute.”  I gave him a hesitant smile, relieved to no end he’d snapped out of it.

“What’s going on?  What happened to that guy and your cousin?”

“They um, left.”  Oh, I was gonna have to do better than that!  “That was pretty weird, right?  The guy was drunk, and Adam helped him go walk it off.”  It sounded almost plausible.  Only I knew he wasn’t going to let it go at that.

“But… they were just here and…”  Ben looked all around, a pucker of worry appearing on his forehead.  “I don’t understand.”

“Like I said, you looked dizzy there for a minute.  Are you feeling okay now?”

“No, I feel fine… just… what’s going on here, Mercy?  Who was that guy?  And why did he say all those crazy things to you?  And what was Adam doing here?”

All good questions, but what could I say?  “I told you, that guy was drunk, who knows why he said all the stuff he did?”  Boy I hated lying to him.  “I’ve never seen him before.”  Not a lie.  “And I have no idea what Adam was doing here, you were there when we left him at my apartment.”  Also not a lie.

Ben had that look on his face, the one where he tried to decide if he wanted to accept it or call me on what was obviously a line of crap.  That time he chose to challenge me.  “You expect me to swallow that, Mercy?  You knew exactly what he was talking about, I could see it in your eyes.”

“Ben…”  I didn’t know what to say, how could I possibly explain it in a way that would make sense.

“You were scared.  Why were you afraid of him?” he prompted, reaching out to hold onto my shoulders.

Because I’m an abomination…  “It’s complicated,” I hedged.  “Ben… it’s not my secret to tell, not entirely.  Otherwise…”

“Then whose secret is it?  Your cousin’s?  He sure looked like he knew the guy even if you’ve never seen him before.”

“Yes, he does,” I admitted, wishing desperately we could put it behind us.  “Look, I know it all seems strange, but can’t you forget about it, please?  It doesn’t affect us, not really.  Can’t we forget we ran into them tonight and enjoy the rest of the evening?”

His expression was incredulous.  “You seriously expect me to pretend like that didn’t happen?”

“Well… yeah.  Can’t you let it go?  For me?”

Ben shook his head in defiance. “I can’t do that, Mercy, not even for you.  It’s part of who I am.”

“That’s what I was afraid of,” I sighed, shoulders bowing.  “I’m sorry, Ben, I can’t right now.  Not until I talk to Adam and straighten some of this out.”

I could tell that wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but he gave a slow nod.  “Is that guy really your cousin?”

“In a roundabout sort of way.”  I gave him a tentative smile, catching my bottom lip between my teeth.

“Come on, I’ll take you home,” he sighed, leading me to his car, his hand at the small of my back.

The ride back to my apartment was a silent one, without even the benefit of music from the radio, though I would have appreciated the distraction.  I could see he was still processing everything he’d seen and heard, and coming up short in the answer department.  I wanted to tell him everything, but at the same time, what if he decided it was all more than he’d bargained for?  Still, it looked like I’d end up losing him if I didn’t tell him something soon.  Regretting the decision to blow off Adam earlier, I had all but resolved to call him as soon as I got into my apartment by the time we pulled in front of the building.

Ben walked me up the stairs, but I had a feeling he wouldn’t be coming in with me.

“I really did have a great time tonight.  You know, before all the weirdness,” I tried with a hopeful smile that had little effect on him.

“Me too, Mercy,” Ben nodded, his face as glum as I felt.  “I just wish you would trust me.”

“I do trust you,” I answered immediately, though I suppose I didn’t trust him quite enough, did I?  “What do you like about me Ben?” I asked suddenly, my mind changing tacks.

“What kind of question is that?”

“I swear it’s not a needy female kind of question, even though it probably sounds like it.  I really need to know.  What is it that draws you to me?”  Suddenly it was important to me to know why he was so interested in spending time with me.

“Everything, the whole enchilada, I just like being with you.”

“Okay yeah, but why exactly?”  I knew how I came off, but I couldn’t see another way around it.  I had to know if it was more than the Grace that he was drawn to or there wouldn’t be a point to any of it.

Ben looked like I’d asked him to give an impromptu speech in front of a church congregation in his birthday suit.  “Jesus, Mercy, I don’t know.  It’s a lot of little things,” he shrugged, and I nodded, a little crestfallen he wasn’t able to nail it down any more specifically than that.  But then he found his words.

“It’s more than your eyes or your smile or that cute little sound you make when you’re eating chocolate.  It’s the way you talk back to the TV when we’re just relaxing, and it’s the way we can talk about nothing at all and still have a great time.  It’s the way you feel when I hold you in my arms.  You make me laugh, and I don’t get to do that a whole lot in any given day.  I have something to look forward to now at the end of a triple shift, even if it’s only a phone call. I don’t think you realize what that means to me.”

My heart did a little flip flop and I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his neck.  “Thank you for that,” I breathed, flooded with relief.  He really did like me for me. So why couldn’t I tell him my secret?  What was I so worried about?

Ben held me, laying a gentle kiss to my temple.  “Are you sure you won’t tell me what this is all about?”

Pulling back, I shook my head slowly.  “Just give me a little more time.  I’m worth it, I promise.”

“I know you are.”  He pressed a chaste kiss to my forehead.

Not wanting to end the night on that note, I captured his lips for a real kiss, wanting to remind him where some of that worth lay.  Ben was the first to break the kiss though and I wondered if by the time I was ready to tell him, it would be too late.

Chapter Fourteen

Do you ever get one of those headaches where you feel like your eye is gonna explode and it’s a surprise you can still see through it?  I had the worst headache as I trudged into my apartment, leaning on the closed door.  “Adam?” I called out softly, half expecting him to already be there.  Did I want him to be?  But then I remembered I’d pretty much told him to piss off, and he hadn’t been all that happy about it.  If I wanted to talk to him, I’d have to call him.

“Adamiel,” I called out, moving deeper into the apartment to unstrap my shoes.

“Hey, Cousin.  What happened to Sergeant Friday?”  He was there so quickly, he had to have been lurking about and I wasn’t sure if that made me feel safe or uneasy.

“Don’t start with me, I’ve had a helluva day.”  I waved my shoe at him and his hands came up in a supplicating gesture.

“That bad huh?  And here I thought the date was going well before Nate showed up.  You know, you could call me on my cell too, I have unlimited minutes.  I took the liberty of programming my number into your phone.”

“You did?”  Of course he had a cell phone, Adam was definitely living in the here and now.  Shoes off, I sank down on the couch, fingers massaging the back of my neck where the stress headache was at its worst.

“Wanna talk about it half-pint?” He leaned against the back of the couch.

“Just… don’t, okay?  Can you just not be… you, for like five minutes?”  That was all I needed to unwind before I tackled the next problem.

“Sure, I can do that,” Adam replied easily, surprising me.  “Here, I can help with that too.”  Without waiting for permission, he stood behind me, fingers sinking into my hair.  I felt a rush of tingling energy as he rubbed my knotted muscles and the pain began to fade instantly.  Apparently Sam wasn’t the only one with a talent for healing.

A grateful sigh escaped my lips and my head lolled to one side to look up at him.  “Thank you,” I breathed in relief.

“No biggie.”  His thumb brushed over my cheek before he withdrew, heading straight for the kitchen.  “I could use a drink, how about you?”

“Make it a double.”

“That’s my girl,” he grinned, reminding me of Parker as he headed straight for the fridge.  For a moment I wondered how he knew where I had my alcohol stashed, but I decided it wasn’t worth the trouble to ask.  Emerging with a chilled bottle of Bailey’s Irish Cream and two glasses with ice, he set them down on the coffee table and began to pour.

“A girl drink?” I raised a brow in surprise.  I thought he would have gone for the vodka or the rum maybe.  My liquor cabinet was a little sparse, I wasn’t a huge drinker.

Adam seemed nonplussed.  “It’s like drinking an alcoholic mud pie, what’s not to like?” he gave a half shrug.  “Take a load off, have a drink.”  Handing me the glass, he settled beside me on the couch to pick up my feet, setting them on his lap.  Surprisingly I didn’t feel threatened by the move.  It felt nice, his hand a comforting touch on my sensitive feet.  Mimsy immediately joined us, settling into a perch on the arm of the couch closest to Adam.

His hands spread warmth over my feet and I wondered if he was using his healing ability on me, but I began to think it was just skill.  “How come you followed me tonight?”

“What makes you think I was following you?”  I didn’t even dignify that with a response, and waited for him to answer the question.  “Okay, maybe I was following you a little bit.”  He raised his thumb and forefinger, holding them close together.

“You have so little to keep you entertained you have to watch me and Ben go out on a date?”

His expression soured at that and he covered it by taking a deep drink.  “Yeah well, you try hanging around for thousands of years and see how bored you get,” he grumbled.

I hadn’t thought of it quite like that before.  “I’m sorry,” I said softly, taking a thoughtful sip myself.  “What do you do with yourself all day, Adam?  I assume you don’t sleep either, right?”

“You’re trying to picture me in bed aren’t you?” He waggled his eyebrows at me and I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

“I’m trying to have a normal conversation with you.  You do remember what that’s like, don’t you?”

“It sounds vaguely familiar, I don’t recall it being all that much fun though.  How about we find some other way to keep ourselves entertained?”  His hand slid up my leg and I yanked my feet off of his lap.

“Hands!” I yelped, trying not to spill my drink.

“I’m well aware of where my hands were,” he smirked.

Why did he have to be such a smarmy bastard?  I knew he was capable of having a regular conversation, was he trying to make me hate him?  “For crying out loud Adam… can’t you turn it off for a while?  I’m trying to figure out if I should hop a boat to Borneo and chang my name to Mick to avoid an army of angels who are ticked off at me for stealing Sam’s Grace.”

Adam chuckled at that before seeing that in a small way I was completely serious.  “Hey, that’s not gonna happen.”  He sat up closer to me, reaching out to lay his hand on my shoulder.

“No?” The corner of my mouth tugged up into a smile at that reassurance.

“Nope.  If they decide to come after you, running off to Borneo won’t help you, there’s no place on Earth you can hide.”

I bit down on the inside of my lips as I fought back tears, not wanting him to see me cry.  “I think you should go.”  Pulling away from his touch, I drained the rest of my drink and sat forward on the couch to pour another.

“Hey, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet.”

“Mercy, it’ll be alright…”

“How can you say that?  You saw how things went with Nathanael tonight.  He was royally pissed off and he thinks that you’re responsible for doing this to me.  Why did you do that by the way?  Take the fall for Sam like that?  And what did he mean by asking if you had learned your lesson last time?  I thought you said nobody’s ever been given the Grace like this before?”

“I’m sorry, that officially puts you over your quota of questions for the night,” Adam smirked, snatching the bottle from me and refilling his own glass.

“I’m just looking for some answers.”

“And naturally you think I owe you these answers?”

“How else am I supposed to figure out what’s going on?  You know what?  Forget it, I’ll call Sam. I bet he’d be happy to talk to me all night long.”  I gave him a mocking smile.  “Sa…”

“Okay, okay, I’ll answer your stupid questions!” Adam interrupted, his hand clapping over my mouth.  “But you have to answer mine too then, deal?”

My eyes narrowed at him over the hand pressed to my face.  What questions could he possibly have that I could answer?  Still, it sounded fair to me, and I nodded, replying after he released me.  “Deal.”

Relaxing back against the couch again with my drink, I turned to face him.  “How come you didn’t want me to call Sam?”

A careless shrug was given.  “He won’t be happy to hear Nathanael came down.  No sense in worrying him over nothing.”

“It’s not exactly nothing though, doesn’t he deserve to know?”

“Sorry, my turn.  Why did you tell Nate he could take the Grace from you?”

I blinked at the question, not having expected it.  “It seemed like the easiest way to settle things.  If it’s that big of an issue why not just give it back?  I mean it’s not like I need it or anything.  So my next question is, why didn’t he take it back from me then?  If it’s causing such a big ruckus.”

“He can’t.  See, the man upstairs isn’t all that big on free will.  When you’re taking orders from the Big Kahuna you don’t have a lot of leeway to decide something like that on your own.  He’s probably up there right now giving a report on what was said and he’ll have to wait and see what comes down the pipe.”

“Could he even take the Grace away?  Could you?”

A shake of the head was given.  “No, the Grace can’t be taken by force, but you might be able to give it.  I don’t know… I’ve never heard of anyone freely giving their Grace up before.”  He stopped to think that over for a moment.  “Still, it’s forbidden.  We’re not meant to have more than was given us by God.  It’s supposed to keep any of us from getting too powerful like you know who.”  He pointed downwards and I assumed he meant the devil.

“So, no angel is allowed to amass more than their share of Grace.”  That made sense I supposed, after what had happened with Lucifer.

“Yep.”  Adam took another drink. He was making short work of the bottle and I wondered if angels could get drunk.  “How long have you been a bartender?”

“About three years.  I started working at the club as a waitress but I like tending the bar better, less handprints on my ass,” I grinned.  “My turn.  What did Sam do to get cast out of heaven?”  I said I wouldn’t ask Sam again, I hadn’t promised not to try and find out at all.

Adam hesitated, leaning back against the cushions.  “That might be better left to ask him.”

“Then why were you cast out?” I countered.

“On second thought,” he took another drink.  “He broke a direct order.  Didn’t kill someone he was supposed to.”

That shocked me.  Not because he’d refused to kill someone, that part was easy enough to understand with Sam being so tenderhearted.  But that he’d been ordered to in the first place, and that the penalty had been so steep for refusing.

“Is that common for angels to be ordered to kill?”

“You’d be surprised,” Adam muttered.

“Has Sam done a lot of killing?”

“It’s my turn next.”  I started to get tired of the convention, but it was still more interesting than any other conversation I’d ever had with him, so I simply waited for his next question.  “Where is your family?”

It surprised me that his questions so far had been much more mundane than mine.  “My brother has an apartment not too far from Sam’s place.”

“What about your parents?”

“It’s my turn,” I shook my head.  “Did Sam do a lot of killing?” I pressed and he nodded.

“He was the angel of death for a long, long time,” he replied in a subdued voice.

Angel of Death.  It was so hard to reconcile that image with the sweet, kinda clueless man I’d come to know.  “I guess that’s why he felt entitled to kill Weatie,” I murmured.

“The guy who attacked you?”

I nodded.  “Yeah, he said he judged him and couldn’t allow him to hurt others.”

“Good old Sammy, always the hero.”  Adam raised his drink in a salute and drained the glass.

“Is that what you used to do too?  Judge the quality of men’s souls?”  I tried to put the same inflection into my words that Sam did.

Adam chuckled at that.  “No, I was a soldier.  Just a lowly peon in the immortal scheme of things.”

“Oh… so you weren’t the patron angel of the sea or goats or anything?” I grinned, definitely starting to feel more relaxed.

“Goats?” He quirked a brow at me and I just shrugged.  “No, that’s Aramiel.”

“You’re teasing me.”

“Yes,” he smiled without the usual note of sarcasm and I was struck again by how beautiful he was.  When he wasn’t being a total ass.

“Who’s Raziel?”

Just as quickly his face became shuttered and dark, the smile completely fading from not only his lips but his eyes as well.  “It’s my turn.  Where are your parents?”

I didn’t like the evasion and I liked the change in topic even less but I answered as quickly as I could.  “My mom lives in California and I have no idea where my dad is.”

“Why not?”

“No, it’s my turn.  Who is Raziel?”

“This is a stupid game.”  Adam rose to his feet and I blinked at the sudden shift. Was he leaving?  Obviously that Raziel person was persona non grata where he was concerned but I had no idea why.  For all the protestations over Adam sticking his nose where it wasn’t wanted, I found I didn’t want him to leave yet.

“Wait, don’t go.  Let’s try an experiment,” I suggested, setting down my drink and rising to my feet as well.

That caught his attention.  “What kind of experiment?”

“Will you teach me what you did with my head?  How to heal?”  It stood to reason I’d be able to do it too with the Grace.

“Nothing to teach really, but alright.”  He crossed the room to the kitchen and picked up a knife from the dish drainer, slashing it across his forearm before I had an inkling of what he had in mind.

“Adam!” I snatched up the dishtowel and pressed it to his bleeding arm.  “What the hell are you doing?”

“You need something to practice on, right?  Watch me, sweetheart.”  He pried the dishtowel away from the wound and cupped his hand a few inches above.  While I watched, a soft glow emanated from his outstretched hand, and the cut began to knit together before my very eyes.

“Wow,” I murmured, impressed.  Of course I still had no idea how he’d done it.

“Okay, now it’s your turn.”  Adam picked up the knife and slashed again and I took a moment to quell the protest that immediately rose to my lips.

“I’m not sure what I’m doing,” I admitted, laying my hand over his arm as I’d seen him do.  Why hadn’t he tried explaining it before he cut into his own arm?  The sight of the blood was too damned distracting.

“Concentrate, feel the energy from all around you, and push it from your hand.  Think of it as bathing the wound in healing, soothing energy, the Grace will do the rest.”

Taking a deep breath, I did as he asked, wondering if I imagined the feel of the energy gathering beneath my hand.  But then the same soft glow began to emanate from my palm and I felt the Grace flow through me.  I almost lost my concentration as I saw the wound start to heal.  The rush was… incredible.

“Holy crap, it worked!” I gasped when it was done.  “And I really did that, you didn’t help at all?”

“Nope, that was all you,” Adam grinned over my obvious excitement.

“Wow, that was amazing!  I’ve never felt anything like it!”  A wave of dizziness went through me then and I reached out blindly to steady myself, catching hold of his arm.  “Whoa… I think maybe I had too much to drink,” I murmured, waiting for it to pass.

“Oh, shit, sorry.  I forgot to tell you to ground yourself,” Adam apologized reaching out to steady me.  “I wasn’t thinking.  Here, close your eyes, take a deep breath with me.”

I did as he instructed, feeling him take hold of my hands.

“Picture roots like a tree extending from your feet down into the earth, so you feel strong and stable.  That’s good, keep breathing, in… and out.”

His voice was soothing and as I pictured the steadying image, the dizziness began to recede.  “It’s better,” I reported, my eyes still closed, breathing with him.

“Yeah, you’re okay.”  His thumbs stroked over the backs of my hands, at once soothing and disturbing at the same time.

My eyes popped open, surprised to find his face so close to mine.  “How do I look to you?”

“Fishing for compliments?  You have very pretty hair,” he smirked.

“No…” I pulled my hands from his.  “I mean, do I look like a regular person to you or…”

“You look like an angel.”  The smirk was still firmly in place.

“No, I’m serious.”

“So am I.  You have the same quality about you that our kind does, a soft golden glow.”  His hand came up to lightly touch my face.

Like a shiny new toy… that’s all I was to him, my mind insisted on throwing at me.  “I’m feeling better now,” I mumbled, pulling away from him to go sit back down, conflicted by the sensations his touch inspired.  Was it just my Grace reacting to his?  Was it that allure he said all angels had?  When he wasn’t being a smarmy bastard he was pretty damn appealing.  But starting anything with Adam would be a recipe for disaster, wouldn’t it?

“Super.”  I thought I heard disappointment in his voice, but his face bore no trace of it as he rejoined me on the couch, refilling both of our glasses which emptied the bottle.

“Can I see your wings?” I wondered aloud.  Sam had refused me, something about pride being a sin but somehow I didn’t think that would bother Adam in the slightest.

“Of course,” he agreed readily.  Setting down the glass, his fingers worked at the row of buttons on his shirt, revealing the smooth expanse of chest.

“Do you always need to take your shirt off?” I asked, puzzled.  The other times he’d been fully clothed when jumping out of a third story window.

“No, it’s just more impressive this way,” he grinned, letting the shirt fall to the ground.  Quick like the snap of a fan, his wings appeared, filling my small living room.  They were dark, nearly black, and they gleamed against his pale skin as he flexed them to their full extension.

Impressive was right, I’d never seen anything like it.  My hand reached up to touch them, but in a blink they were tucked away and gone.

“Ah, ah, ah… this isn’t the petting zoo you know.  If you want to touch me somewhere else though…”  His voice was low and intimate, a playful smile on his lips, but there was a very real invitation in his eyes.

The problem was I did want to touch him, even as I knew it was a horribly bad idea.  Luckily, I wasn’t drunk enough to fool myself into thinking otherwise.  Instead my hand reached for my drink, the ice cubes nearly melted, cupping it in my hands.

“How does that work?  Where do they go?” I asked instead.

“No idea, they just do,” he shrugged, pulling on his shirt, but leaving it open.  I wondered if he was deliberately trying to tempt me.

“What was that glow that surrounded me, the other night when you were in the bedroom? And again tonight when the other angel appeared? Ben saw it too,” I changed the subject.

Adam seemed unfazed by his ignored invitation.  “Maybe you were just happy to see me?” he teased.

“I’m serious Adam, I can’t go around glowing like that, people are gonna start to ask questions.”  Ben already was, and our predicament came rushing back to me.  “Ben’s already freaking out by what happened tonight.”

“Do you really think Ben is the right guy for you?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“An honest one.  How about an honest answer?”

“I don’t know, who ever knows?”

“There’s your answer then.”  Adam sat back with a self satisfied smile.

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means you’re not exactly M.F.E.O. if you don’t know by now that he’s the one.”

“What’s M.F.E.O?” I stared at him blankly.

“Made For Each Other.  Doesn’t anyone watch movies anymore?” He gave a disgusted shake of the head.

I caught the reference then, cute movie if a little schmaltzy. Somehow I hadn’t pegged Adam as a fan of Meg Ryan movies.  “Do you really believe that?”  Was he that much of a romantic?  He didn’t seem the type.

Something passed over his face, I thought it might have been pain but it was quickly replaced by a thoughtful look.  “I used to.”

“Yeah well, most of us in the real world have learned not to knock a good thing and I think this thing with Ben could be a good thing.  A really good thing.”

“Good enough is good enough, huh?  I suppose I can understand that, for now.”

I scowled at his over simplification of our relationship.  I really liked Ben.  Was it more than that?  It was too early to tell, I only knew I wasn’t ready to lose him.  “Ben is a good man.”

“I know that, I can see it every time he shows his face, he’s a real boyscout.”

“Is that what his colors mean?  For his soul?”  I recalled the beautiful deep indigo that surrounded Ben.

“Yeah, he’s a real peach,” Adam returned sourly, rising from the couch, his feet unsteady as he headed for the kitchen, returning with the bottle of sweet Malibu Rum.  “How about we talk about something other than your boyfriend?”

“You’re the one who brought him up,” I pointed out, accepting a drink right from the bottle and passing it back to him.  I was gonna have a headache in the morning but I didn’t care.  “I think I’m gonna tell him about me, about all of this.”

A half shrug was given.  “If you say so.  I guess you’ll find out then, won’t you?”

“Find out what?”

“If it’s worth it.”

I wasn’t tracking him.  “Find out if what’s worth it?”

“Breaking the rules for someone you care about.”

“Breaking what rules?”

“We’re not supposed to go around announcing ourselves to humans.  Hence the whole keeping ourselves beyond the sight of man.  Sam is gonna have to deal with some serious consequences once the heavenly host gets their thumbs out of their asses and decides what to do with him.  Or me.  I almost forgot Nathanael thinks I’m responsible,” he snorted.

“Well, no one ever read me the rulebook.”

“Pleading ignorance, huh?  Good luck with that.”

“What?  You said you’re not one for following rules either.  Why did you reveal yourself to me then?”

“Because you’re not human anymore, Mercy, you’re fair game.”

“What are they gonna do to you for thinking you gave me this Grace?  That’s gotta be a hundred times worse than revealing yourself to a human, right?”

Adam gave a careless shrug and I was surprised by his show of apathy.

“Don’t you even care?”

“They can’t do anything worse to me that what’s already been done.”  He took a long pull from the bottle.  “Let’s see what’s on the old telly.”  Adam picked up the TV remote and switched it on, leaving me frowning over his last cryptic remark.

Grabbing the remote out of his hand, I switched it back off again.  “Hey, what’s so bad about this?  You get to live forever, you get all kinds of cool powers…”

“And I never get to see my family.  Ever.  They are forbidden to me for all eternity.  You can’t even begin to comprehend what that’s like.”  His eyes blazed with such heartbreak, I was at a loss for what to say.

“Adam…”

“Skip it.”  He rose from the couch but I caught him by the hand, holding fast to him.  “Don’t…” Adam tugged his hand from mine.  “Don’t pretend you know what I’m feeling,” the bitter words were spoken.

I tried again.  “Adam, I’m not saying I do…” but he was already moving to the front door.

“I need a real drink,” he muttered.

I followed after him, not wanting him to leave like this.  “I think we’ve both had enough.  Look, I know you want…”

Adam whirled on me, pinning me to the wall, his body pressed against mine.  “You have no idea what I want,” he growled, his mouth capturing mine before I could object.

The kiss was demanding, and Adam took what he wanted without asking.  To my utter shame I gave without protest, our lips never parting.  Everything else forgotten, my whole world became the feel of his body, the rasp of his cheek against mine, the taste of him that was purely his own, his hands roaming freely over me.

His kiss was wild and primal and I could feel the hunger barely suppressed within him, threatening to devour me should he unleash it.  Overwhelmed, I pressed my hands to his chest, trying to create a bit of space between us but he wouldn’t allow it.  Adam’s talented mouth and hands soon eroded my initial hesitation and I was completely swept up in the kiss, clinging to him every bit as much as he held tight to me.

I did however stop him when his hand started to edge the bottom of my dress up.  “Whoa, slow down, cowboy,” I gasped, trying to gather my wits about me.

“Don’t be a tease, Mercy, I know you want me.”  His hands stilled, but he didn’t let go of me, his lips nuzzling against my throat.

“Maybe I did want a kiss sure, but that doesn’t mean I’m offering an open invitation to do me up against the wall,” I insisted, my voice remaining firm.

“Shall we go somewhere more… comfortable then?”  His teeth caught my earlobe and gave it a not so gentle tug causing my breath to hiss between my teeth.

“I think you’re missing the point.”

“You’re overthinking this, Mercy.  You want me, I want you… why not be together?” He licked my ear.

“Because…” I pulled my head away to try and catch his eyes.  “Because I am with Ben.”

“Are you?” he smirked at that, and I suspected he knew I was wondering the same thing.  “Come on, Mercy, you know we’d be good together.”  All sorts of erotic images painted across my mind.  What would it be like to take him to my bed?  His tongue laved over the sensitive spot behind my ear and I shivered.

“Stop that!” I snapped, pulling farther away.  “And I don’t know any such thing.”  I hated the note of uncertainty in my voice but that proved I shouldn’t be doing such a thing when I wasn’t in full control of my sensibilities.

“Sure you do, I can feel it when I touch you.  Are you saying you don’t feel it too?” he stroked his fingers down the sensitive skin of my neck.

A shiver of delight coursed through me and it took a long moment to focus my thoughts again before I could reply.  “Feeling a physical response for a person doesn’t mean we’re M.F.E.O.”  I tossed his own words back at him.

“But it’s a hell of a lot of fun.”

“Ugh, you are a bastard, you know that?”

“But you like it, don’t you?” he grinned.

“What do you want?” I asked earnestly.  All kidding aside I really wanted to know.  Was it all a game to him?  Was I just a way to kill time or did he actually want me as more than an easy lay?

Several expressions flitted across his features, so fast I couldn’t begin to interpret them.  “You sure know how to kill a mood,” Adam grumbled, pushing away from me and halfway to the door by the time I recovered from the quick shift.

“You’re leaving then?”

“Unless you can give me a good reason to stay.”  He let his eyes travel up and down my body, his meaning clear.

“Forget it.”  I turned away from the door, leaving it up to him whether he stayed or left.

“G’nite, Mercy.  Sweet dreams,” Adam said with a smirk in his voice just before the door shut behind him.

Sleep was a long time coming.

Chapter Fifteen

There should be a law against people calling you before ten in the morning.

Especially when you’ve been drinking the night before.  My neck was stiff and sore from falling asleep on the couch, curled up into an uncomfortable position all night.  But that was the least of my worries.  I had all the classic symptoms of a hangover including the blinding headache and roiling stomach.  The shrill ring of the phone was like an ice pick jabbing into my ear and I blindly scrabbled for the phone, flipping it open to shut it up.

“Mercy?” The tentative voice came through.

“Yeah?”  My voice was raspy with disuse as I blinked at the unknown number on the display.  “Who’s this?”

“It is Sam.  You said I should call…”

Sam.  Trust him not to know the proper phone etiquette.

“I have a phone!” He declared into the silence, and I had to smile at the pride that rang in his voice.

“Welcome to the twenty-first century.  What time is it anyway?”  Bless him, but I have never been a morning person, I’m afraid I didn’t sound all that friendly.

“It is just after seven,” Sam reported.

I suppose it had very little meaning to someone who didn’t sleep.  A groan escaped my lips. I hadn’t seen seven a.m. in a very long time, not with the hours I kept.  “Is something wrong?”  Why would he call me at such an ungodly hour?

“No, should there be?”

I stretched, shifting into a more comfortable position.  “No Sam, no reason there should be,” I yawned.  “It’s just early for me.”

“Oh.  I did not realize… there are people up and around outside.”

“I’m betting most of them didn’t stay up as late as I did last night.”  Or drunk quite as much.

“That is possible.”

“Is there something you wanted, or are you calling to tell me about your new phone?”

“I am calling to invite you to come for a visit.  That is proper among friends, is it not?”

A faint smile tilted my lips, he sounded worried I might say no.  “Yes, that’s fine between friends.  When did you want me to come over?”

“How about now?”

I guessed patience had never been one of his strong suits.  “I don’t know Sam, I’m not feeling so hot this morning.”  The idea of dragging myself out of the apartment and across town was vastly unappealing.

“You are unwell?”

“I’ve had better days.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.  Would you like my assistance?”

Assistance.  He meant healing, and for a moment I considered taking him up on it.  “No, that’s sweet of you, Sam, but I’ll manage.  It’s nothing a couple of Tylenol and about a gallon of water won’t cure.”  Of course I could always try and heal myself, though I hadn’t tried it on me before.  “How about I stop by later this afternoon?  Would that be alright?”

“That would be very nice.”

I had to smile at the excitement in his voice.  Apparently he was as lonely as Adam, he just showed it differently.

Adam.

That kiss… what had I been thinking?  Shame flooded my cheeks and I realized Sam was saying something else.  “What was that again?”

“I said I have a surprise for you.”

The mind boggled.

“Okay, that sounds great.  I’ll see you later then.  Bye Sam.”

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t will that headache away.  Maybe it was because I had trouble concentrating on the headache with the headache, but in the end I popped a couple of pills and had some toast.  It was nice to find my natural healing ability was enhanced at least, because I started to feel better much earlier than I expected.

I was starting to feel, if you’ll pardon the phrase, human again, when there was a knock at the door.  I wasn’t expecting anyone, and my mind ran the gamut over who it could be.  It was a fairly safe bet I wouldn’t find Adam standing on the other side of the door, that much was certain.  In a bout of pettiness I wished he had a killer headache of his own for making me feel so conflicted.

“Daphne,” I smiled at finding my pretty, blonde friend standing there, a cup of coffee in each hand.  “Oh, bless you!  Come on in.”

“Hey, you’re not ready to go,” she frowned, handing over my coffee on the way in.

“Ready to go…” Suddenly it occurred to me we were supposed to go to the flea market that morning.  Daphne and I were big fans of second hand bargains.  We regularly haunted thrift shops and the weekly flea market was like a treasure trove of possibilities.    “Oh crap, Daphne, I totally forgot. I’m sorry.  I’m ah… moving a little slow today,” I apologized, leading her into the living room.

“Have a little too much fun last night?” The corner of her mouth tugged up into a smile, eager for some girl talk.  “Were you with Sam or Ben last night?”

“I started off with Ben, but then Adam came over.  Actually technically Adam was here first.”

“Wait, who’s Adam?” Her brows drew together in puzzlement.

Oops.  “Adam is another fallen angel, he’s a friend of Sam’s.”

“And he was here last night?  That’s a lot of guys to juggle, Mercy, even for you.”

“I’m not juggling them I’m…”  Christ, was that what I was doing?  Up until the night before I would have firmly defended my statement, but after that kiss… How was I going to face Ben again?  Or Adam?  “I’m not seeing Sam,” I said weakly.

“Why, I thought he was so nice?”

“I know, he is nice, but… I dunno, there was just no spark, he’s so… different.”  It was almost like Sam wasn’t a fully grown man, which was ridiculous when you thought about it, he’d been alive for thousands of years.  Maybe it was more like he’d been raised in isolation, like on a deserted island, and lacked much in the way of practical life experience.  It was hard to talk to someone who didn’t share the same points of reference sometimes.  “And Ben, I really like Ben but… it’s complicated.”  Understatement of the year.

Daphne didn’t seem to think so.  “What all is going on that’s so complicated Mercy?  So you got touched by an angel, so what?  That means you can’t have a boyfriend?”

“It’s not just that.  Ben sees things, he’s like a trained detective.  He’ll notice I’m not normal sooner or later.”  Ben already had more questions than I was comfortable answering.

“What?  Not normal…? You can see people in Technicolor, big deal.”

“I’m seeing their souls Daphne, that’s what the colors are. I can see their souls the way that angels can, so they can judge them.”

“I repeat, what’s the big deal?  Just don’t tell him about it then if you’re so worried he’ll think you’re a freak.”

“Well, that’s not all…”  Briefly I told her about my encounter with Nathanael the night before and Adam’s intervention with Ben’s brief role in it.  That gave her pause and I felt vindicated in my concerns.

“You might be in big trouble with God over something you had no control over?  That kinda blows.”  Daphne sipped her coffee thoughtfully.

“Tell me about it.  Adam’s gonna probably take the worst of it, but it’s a cinch they won’t let me keep this Grace.”

“That’s a good thing though, right?  You want to get rid of it.”

Did I?  Even though it complicated my life, I was starting to get used to it.  And if it hadn’t been for the Grace, then Charles Weatie would have…  I swallowed back that thought, not wanting to dwell over long on it.  I was almost starting to get used to the idea I was part of a new world living within the mundane one, a world that embraced the supernatural.  But to be normal again definitely had its appeal.

“Yeah, no, of course I do.  I just hope there’s a way to do it that doesn’t end up with me as some kind of a sacrifice.  Or anyone else hurt.  I kinda got the feeling angels aren’t all that averse to breaking a few eggs to make an omelet if you catch my drift.  I don’t want Ben caught in the crossfire.  He’s a good guy.”

“Again with the good guy,” Daphne shook her head.

“No, it’s not like that.  I really do like him.”

“But…”

I hesitated for a moment, but Daphne was my best friend in all the world.  If I couldn’t tell her, who could I tell?  “Adam kissed me last night.”

Her eyes widened and Daphne leaned forward.  “He did?  And what did you do?”

I squinched my eyes nearly all the way shut, peeking out at her just a little.  “I kissed him back.”

“How was it?  Do angels kiss any differently than people do?”

I thought about that for a moment.  The kiss had been overwhelmingly steamy.  Was that because of a special angelic talent, or was it just Adam?  “It was… right up there.”  I felt warmer just thinking about it.

“Better than Taylor from the Copa?”

The Copacabana was a bar we liked to hang out in sometimes when we wanted to go out but I didn’t feel like being near work.  Adam was way hotter than Taylor ever was without even trying.  “Oh yeah, better than Taylor, no comparison.”

“Wow.  What’s the problem there?”

“Besides the fact that I’m dating Ben, there’s the fact that Adam doesn’t exactly strike me as the relationship type.”

“It’s not like Ben put a ring on your finger.  You guys never said you were dating exclusively, right?”

“Well no…”

“And what makes you think Adam doesn’t want more than your body?”

“Because every time he opens his mouth he practically says so.”

“Oh.  Then basically it’s the safe, nice cop versus the smoking hot angel who just wants to sin with you.”

“Uh yeah, I guess you could put it that way.”  I frowned over her simplification of things.  Ben was more than that, the jury was still out on Adam.

“So… what’s the problem exactly?”

“I can’t keep Ben in the dark for much longer.  What if I tell him and he thinks I’m nuts?  Or worse, a freak?”

“You’re the one who knows him, what do you think the odds are he’ll flip out over something like this?”

“I just don’t know.  We never really started at the beginning, we sort of jumped into the middle with me staying with him when Weatie was after me.  I have no idea if he believes in anything outside of the norm, what his religious beliefs are…”  The truth was, it could go either way and there was no way telling if our relationship would emerge intact on the other side.

“Maybe you could sound him out a little first then?  Have him over for dinner, ask him about his childhood, religious beliefs, all that good stuff.  It’s all important info to have anyway, right?”

That had some real possibilities.  Once again I was grateful to have Daphne as a sounding board.  “Butter him up with some enchiladas and go from there?” I grinned, catching enthusiasm for the idea.  “Good idea, Daph.”

“Of course it is.”  Daphne preened under the compliment, tossing her golden hair over a shoulder.  “And the next time you see Adam… ask him what his intentions are.  Before you kiss him again.” She quirked a slender brow at me and I snorted.  I could predict what his intentions were.

“Three guesses how that conversation’s gonna go.”

“You never know unless you ask.” Daphne gave a delicate shrug.  “Now, are we going to the flea market or are you going to mope around here all day?”

Chapter Sixteen

It was early afternoon by the time I made it to Sam’s place.  I hadn’t specified a particular time, so I grabbed some lunch with Daphne first, figuring Sam wouldn’t be eating anyway.  I didn’t plan to stay too long, maybe an hour or so before I wanted to get to the grocery store and pick up a few things.  Ben sounded pleasantly surprised to hear from me so soon and happily agreed to come over for dinner.  I just hoped we wouldn’t get any interruptions this time, angelic or otherwise.  It would be nice to have a regular date for once.

I looked forward to seeing Sam, he had a tendency to make me smile.  In fact, I was smiling as I caught the elevator up to his floor, thinking about his phone call that morning.  There was no sign of the neighbor boy that time, but I was surprised to find Sam’s door slightly ajar.  I knew he wasn’t all that big on security, but still…

Approaching the door slowly, I picked out two male voices, one soft and reasonable, the other angry and intense.  Sam and Adam.

Alright, I know I should have knocked, announced my presence somehow, but curiosity got the best of me and I hovered outside, listening carefully.  And really, what would you have done?

“I do not understand,” Sam said. No surprise there.  “Is this not cause for celebration?”

“No, it’s fucking not cause for celebration, Sam.  This is the single worst thing that’s happened to me for the past millennium,” Adam retorted, and I could hear him pacing inside.

There was a long pause and I reckoned Sam was working his way through it, choosing his words carefully.  “It is not the same as before, she is not human any longer.”

My hand flew to stifle the gasp that sprang to my lips.  They were talking about me!  And I was the single worst thing to happen to Adam in more than a thousand years?

“You think that’s gonna make a difference to them?” Adam snorted.

“You must tell her.”

“It’s not that simple and you know it.”

“It’s not a sin to love, brother,” Sam said gently.

“Yeah, tell that to the big guy,” Adam bit out.  “If you’re so keen on all this hearts and flowers stuff, then why haven’t you shacked up with your own honey before now?  Or why not Mercy?  Don’t think I haven’t seen the way you look at her.”

I literally forgot to breathe until my lungs started to burn and I drew in a hasty breath, leaning against the doorframe for support.  Had he said love?

“Because I have kept myself apart from humanity as part of my penance.  Mercy is helping me to see that perhaps I have… overdone it for some time now.”

“But you want her, don’t you, brother?  You do, don’t you?”  Adam’s voice taunted, filled with a kind of tension I didn’t understand.

“I want her happiness above all else,” Sam replied after an awkward pause.

“Then why are you pushing this when you know what will happen to her if I…”

“She is not Mariah.”

“Don’t mention her name to me again or I’ll forget the debt I owe you,” Adam growled, and I felt the thump through the wall where he slammed Sam against it.

Mariah… Whoever she was, Adam clearly didn’t want to talk about her.  Was she part of the reason why he was Fallen?

“I meant no offense.  But this is not the same.  You are already Fallen, are you not?”

“I was already Fallen the last time, that’s the whole point.  We’re not supposed to be enjoying this, Samael, it’s meant to be a punishment.  I have no right to endanger her like that.”  Adam’s voice took on a hopeless cast.  “Nathanael’s already got it in for me, Gabriel too, and now they think I gave Mercy this Grace…”

“Why did you tell them you were responsible then?”

Yes, finally!  I prayed he would answer that one.

“I’m already going to hell in a handbasket, why bring you down with me?” He laughed bitterly.  “I’m thinking it might be for the best if I go away for a while.

He was leaving?  How exactly would that help things?  Stunned, I edged closer to the door.

“You must tell her,” Sam said gently.

There was only silence, and I worried Adam might have gone out the window.  Gathering up my courage, I pushed the door open, stepping inside.  “Tell me what?”

I could see Adam trying to figure out how long I’d been standing there, but Sam at least looked happy to see me.

“So?” I prompted.  “Tell me what?”

“I’m not doing this…” Adam muttered, tugging his coat on with short, angry movements.  He brushed past me, heading for the door, unwilling or unable to meet my eyes.

“Don’t waste this chance, Adamiel,” Sam called out and Adam paused.

“Haven’t you heard?  We don’t get second chances,” he smirked.

Adam really was going to leave without even saying two words to me directly.  “Adam…” I pleaded, willing him to talk to me, to tell me what was so awful he felt the need to run away.

Adam’s expression softened as he finally looked at me, really looked at me, as though committing my features to memory.  “Keep her safe, Sam.  She’s too precious a gift to lose.  Goodbye, Merceline.”  Reaching up, his thumb brushed over my bottom lip in the briefest caress and then he was gone in a burst of supernatural speed.

I stared after him, confused by the angry, bitter words tempered with the tenderness of his last touch.  My head spun, still trying to process everything I’d heard, coupled with the knowledge that Adam was leaving, really leaving, as in I might not see him again.  Ever.  That bothered me more than I liked.

“What the hell was that all about?” I whirled to face Sam.

“Would you like some tea?” he asked, his face a mask of sympathy.  It was the sympathy that tipped me over the edge, as though he pitied me.

“No, I friggin’ don’t want any tea, I want some answers!”  The hurt look sprang onto his face and I instantly regretted the harsh tone.  None of it was Sam’s fault and I shouldn’t have taken out my frustration on him.  “I’m sorry, Sam.  Yes, some tea is probably a good idea.”  I softened my voice, gratified to see the light come back to his eyes.

Things fell silent as he worked in the kitchen, and I took a seat on the stool on the other side of the breakfast bar before I realized it was new.  In addition to the two stools, there was also a large standing lamp between the two easy chairs and a flatscreen TV mounted to one of the walls.  The cabinet below the TV was stuffed to overflowing with plastic DVD cases, several of them open and scattered on the floor in front of it.  Apparently Sam had picked up a new hobby.

“You’ve done a little redecorating,” I observed aloud.

“Yes, the television I enjoy very much.”  Sam gave me an easy smile.  “Adam thought it would be a good anchor for me to this century.  To observe how humans interact together in different situations,” he nodded, puttering around in the kitchen.

It was a good idea, and I marveled that he hadn’t thought of it before.  Or that I hadn’t, after all I’d had plenty of occasions to think about how distanced Sam was from the human race.  Movies were as good a place as any to start.

Gratefully accepting the hot mug of tea as he pushed it across the counter to me, I breathed in the soothing aroma.  “He’s gone for good now, isn’t he?”

“He always returns.  Eventually.” Sam gave a tight lipped smile.

“Eventually,” I repeated.  But would it be within my lifetime?  Who knew how long I would live?  I could be eternal, courtesy of the Grace, or just as easily rubbed out by angels within the week, courtesy of the Grace.  It was a total crapshoot.

“What’s he so afraid of?”

“You.”

“Me?  What did I do to him?”

Sam chuckled.  “He is afraid of what might happen to you.  Though in a small way, I suspect he is afraid of you directly and what you represent.”

“Which is what?”

“He is afraid if he allows himself to grow too close to you, he will cause you harm and he will not be able to survive such a thing again.”

“What do you mean again?”

Sam was silent, taking a sip of the tea.  After a moment I realized he didn’t intend to answer me.  I hated it when he did that!

“Sam… you gotta talk to me.”

“It is not my story to tell,” he shook his head sadly.

Ugh, damn him and his stupid ethics…  Taking a deep breath, I tried another tack.  “Alright, you don’t want to tell tales out of school, I can respect that I guess.”  I ignored his blank look at my phrasing.  “How about if I make some guesses and you can tell me if I’m on track or not?” I suggested, grasping at straws.

Taking his continued silence for tacit agreement, I plunged ahead.  “I’m getting that something happened with him and a woman before, someone that he loved and lost.  How am I doing so far?”

“That is correct.”

So far so good, though I hadn’t made any astounding leaps of faith with that simple statement.  It could have been true for anyone.  “Something bad happened to this woman, Mariah, because he loved her?”

His face grew pained, and he gave a single nod.

“And he’s afraid if he lets himself get too attached to me, then history will repeat itself and I’ll be what, killed?”

Another single nod was given.

“And he’s also worried Nathanael and his buddies are gonna lash out at me if they think I’m too heavily involved with Adam?”  At the nod I continued.

“Why?”  That was the question that kept me up at night.  Why did anyone up in heaven give a rat’s ass I’d been given the Grace?  Did they think I’d abuse it?  What about all the other evil they let run rampant in the world?  Why weren’t they out there cleaning up that stuff?  And what had Adam done to tick them off so badly they would want to take it out on anyone he was associated with?

“Adamiel has not been overly concerned with seeking forgiveness in his exile.  Many of our brethren still bear a grudge for this and the manner in which he was cast out.”

“Why should he be?” I snorted.  “If they tossed him out, why should he be happy about it if he’s not likely to be welcomed back with open arms?  I mean you’ve been repentant, like you said.  Has it done you any good?”

It was a long moment before Sam answered that.  “No, it has not.”

“If they’re still so angry with him, why haven’t they done anything about it for so long?”

“Because they are bound by rules that govern their behavior.  None would risk the wrath of God for fear of being cast out themselves.  But if Adam were to break another cardinal rule, they could conceivably come after him and you.”

“And he thinks it’ll somehow make this better by running away?”

Sam gave a long, drawn out, very human sounding sigh.  “It has ever been his way.  He has never been one to stay long in one place in any case.  Adam says his feet begin to itch after a year or so.”  A faint smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

I started to get a better picture of the issues Adam faced, and why he tried so hard to keep our relationship on one level only.  At least on the outside, because I was still processing the idea that he felt something deeper for me.  But then again, would he have really left like that if I was nothing more to him than a shiny new toy?  That last look on his face gave me my answer.

Realizing I’d been sitting there staring off into space for too long, I shook myself out of it.  “Who is Raziel?”

His brows rose in surprise at the question.  “He is an angel of death.”

“Like you used to be?”

Sam’s head canted to one side, studying me.  “Adam told you this?”

“He mentioned it once.  What is Raziel to Adam?  He told Nathanael to say hello to him and I got the feeling it wasn’t a message to a buddy.”

“Raziel took up the charge when I could not.”

I sat there lost in thought.  Adam told me Sam had gotten cast out of heaven because he hadn’t been able to kill someone on God’s order.  Raziel had taken up the job that Sam hadn’t been able to do, and killed someone… Mariah?  Was that why Adam hated Raziel?  Was that the debt that Adam owed Sam?  “You were ordered to kill Adam’s love?”

“I could not,” Sam replied sadly, his eyes taking on a faraway gaze.  “She was innocent and full of love.  I could not slay her.”

“But why would God order her death?”

His eyes snapped back to me.  “I have already said too much.”

No, no, no… he couldn’t stop!  “Sam, I have a right to know.  Especially if it might end up with me dead as a result.”

Sam laid a comforting hand over mine.  “If I truly thought you were in danger because of this I would tell you.  I do not think you will face His wrath.  If there is a price to be paid, I will pay it.”

I tried to decide if he was trying to placate me or if he really believed that, and I hoped I wasn’t being foolish for placing my trust in him.  “Okay.”  My voice was glum and I wished Adam hadn’t bailed out on me without talking any of it over first.  That was why he’d been so hot and cold with me.  Real one moment and smarmy the next.  He’d been trying to keep me at arms length on purpose.  I had to re-run every conversation we ever had through my mind again with the new filter of understanding.  And what about that kiss?  Was there more behind it than lust at the time?  Did I want there to be?  Hadn’t I just been complaining to Daphne that I didn’t know where I stood with Adam? I finally had more answers, but still more questions I stood no chance of getting answered if Adam decided to leave town in a bid for my safety.

Sam’s hand was still over mine and I had to wonder, did he want me too?  It sounded like it from Adam’s taunting words.  That was a complication I wasn’t ready to face at the moment, I badly needed him as a friend.  Maybe it was selfish of me, but I firmly shut that train of thought away for another day.

“Well, you’ve certainly given me a lot to think about.”  I pulled my hand from his and rose to my feet.

“You are leaving?”  The disappointment was clear in his voice.

“I’m sorry, Sam, I need some time to process this all.  Can you understand that?”

He nodded.  “I do.”

“Thanks for the talk,” I smiled, coming around the breakfast bar to give him a hug.  The contact surprised him, but after a moment’s hesitation I felt his arms encircle me in kind.  I felt better by the time we parted and gave him a faint smile.  “I’ll talk to you soon.  I’ve got to go run some errands before Ben comes over for dinner tonight.”

“What will you tell him?” Sam asked, his head canting to one side.

It was my turn for a long, drawn out sigh.  “I have no idea.”

Chapter Seventeen

For the rest of the afternoon I moved on autopilot while my mind turned over what I’d seen and heard again and again.  Adam’s loss of Mariah explained a lot of his behavior towards me, the whole pulling me in with one hand while pushing me away with the other.  At the same time, I didn’t think I could quite share Sam’s belief I wasn’t in any kind of personal danger from his ex-buddies upstairs.  What was to keep them from deciding I shouldn’t be allowed to live both because of the Grace and as a backhanded way to strike out at Adam?  If Mariah had been such a sweet and gentle innocent woman and they’d killed her anyway, what chance did I stand?

One thing seemed certain, it didn’t matter what my feelings for Adam might be with him out of the picture.  There would be plenty of time to sort them out, or so I thought.  With that bit of clarity, I got myself ready for my date with Ben.

Looking back, I can see I should have known something was up the moment I saw Ben standing in the hallway outside my apartment.  He was agitated, and didn’t look me in the eye as he leaned in to kiss my cheek.  A the time I was too busy wallowing in my own guilt for what I was about to put him through that I didn’t notice it in the slightest.

As it was, I invited him in, going through all the pleasantries of taking his coat, getting him something to drink and asking him to take a seat on the couch.  After popping the enchiladas into the oven I joined him on the couch, a nervous smile on my face.

“What did you do today?” he asked, taking a deep drink right off the bat.

“Oh, not a whole lot.  Daphne and I went to the flea market in the morning and then I ran some errands to get ready for tonight,” I smiled, glossing over my trip to Sam’s.  Though I was still ninety percent sure I was going to tell him everything I didn’t want to lead off with that.  Oh by the way, I went to my buddy Sam’s today, you know, the angel?  Not exactly the best way to open the conversation.

“What kind of errands?” Ben pressed and I started to clue into his body language.  He was hanging on my every word, not just making idle chitchat.  Had I missed something?

“Um you know, the usual.  Put gas in the car, went to the grocery store.  I’m making enchiladas.”  My smile grew nervous as I recognized the look he gave me.  That interrogation look.

“That’s all?  You didn’t go anywhere else?”

Now I definitely knew something was up.  “Why are you asking?”  What had changed between the talk last night when he’d said he would give me some time to come up with answers and the third degree?

“Answer the question, Mercy, where else did you go today?”

He might as well have been shining a bright light into my face in an interrogation room.  “I’m not answering anything you ask in that tone of voice, Detective,” I retorted, my temper getting the better of me.  “Suppose you explain what it is you’re looking for me to say?  ‘Cause it seems like you already know the answer to your own question.”

I saw his jaw tighten in response, but his voice was calm and controlled when he answered me.  “I saw you, Mercy.  I saw you go down to Ninth Avenue. I saw you with your ‘cousin’ and someone who seems suspiciously like the man you described in the alley attack that night.”

“You followed me?”  I know that sounds cliché.  It’s the first thing people always ask in a movie when it’s obvious that yes, you were followed numbskull, otherwise he wouldn’t know where you’d been.  But it was the first thing that sprang out of my mouth.  I was that stunned he’d taken it upon himself to do such a thing.

“Answer me, Mercy, what’s going on?  Is it drugs?  Are you mixed up in something over your head?”

I wasn’t sure what hurt more, the idea that he naturally assumed I was doing something shady or that he felt like he had to resort to following me to figure it out.  “You are so far off base here, it’s not even funny.”  There wasn’t anything remotely funny about any of it and I reached for my drink to cool off before I said something I might regret.

“That’s not an answer.”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware that I’d invited you over for an interrogation.  Shouldn’t you be reading me my rights first?”

“This isn’t… damn it, Mercy, I’m worried about you.  How can I help you if you don’t tell me what’s going on?”

“Who says I need your help?”  Maybe I did, but I sure as hell didn’t feel like asking him for it anymore.  Besides, what good was he going to do against a host of angels?

“What are you caught up in?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but it’s nothing you have to worry about.  I’m not involved in anything illegal, so you can put away your official concerns.”

“I happen to think it’s my business if the girl I’m falling for is mixed up in something shady.”

I might have been more receptive to the news he was falling for me if it hadn’t been delivered in the same breath as the assumption I was basically a dishonest person.  “Well, now you don’t have to worry, because you’re not.”

“I don’t know that unless you tell me about what’s going on,” Ben insisted and I could have joyfully wrung his neck for completely missing my point.

“No, you don’t get it.  Obviously you’re falling for some other idea of a girl you have in your head, because that girl isn’t me.  You would know that if you knew me at all.”

“Mercy, just talk to me.”  His voice was low and pleading and I saw the man behind the cop, the man who was hurt by how I pushed him away, but I couldn’t tell him everything, not anymore.

“You know, it’s funny, I actually invited you over here tonight to tell you everything.  To beg you to forgive me for keeping anything from you, and to trust you with my biggest secret, but now…”

“So, tell me then.  What’s stopping you?”

“Because you showed me tonight exactly why I was worried about telling you.  I hoped you would keep an open mind, but you’ve already assumed the worst and you just… ran with it.  You won’t believe anything I have to say now.”

“I don’t understand…”

“I think you should go.”  My voice was barely above a whisper, eyes shiny with unshed tears as I rose and went to the door.

Ben sat there in stunned silence for long seconds, before gathering up his coat to leave.  He paused right before me, clearly reluctant to leave.  “Mercy, I only want to help you.  Please…” He gave it one more shot.

“There’s nothing you can do to help me.”  I dropped my eyes, saddened because it was true.  My trouble with angels was beyond his ability to help.  It just would have been nice to have him there to stand by me through it.

“Then you are in trouble.”  Ben reached for my face, tilting my head towards him, his voice gentle.

“Not the kind you think.”  My head might have turned but I still wouldn’t look at him.  I didn’t want to crack, my anger was the only thing keeping me together at the time.  “Please, don’t follow me again.”

He hesitated at that.  “It’s my job.”

I did look at him then.  “Oh really?  So if I call your boss right now, he’ll tell me it’s perfectly reasonable that you’re spending time following your ex-girlfriend because you can’t stand your own curiosity?  I haven’t done anything wrong, you have no reason to follow me.”  My chin came up pugnaciously.  I saw him wince at the mention of his boss, but there was a bigger reaction when I said the word ex-girlfriend.  Christ, how had things ended up in such a muddle so fast?

“You know what, forget it.  Whatever mess you’re in, you’re on your own.”  Ben gave up all at once, shrugging on his coat and pulling the door open.

“That’s just what I’ve been saying,” I whispered as he left.

Chapter Eighteen

I wasn’t in the mood to sit in my apartment and eat enchiladas after that.  Instead I turned the oven off and stomped out of my place, barely remembering to grab my purse and coat.

There was no clear plan in my mind when I left home. I got into my car and drove, but soon it became apparent that I was heading to Eden.  While I wasn’t in the mood to commiserate with Daphne or Sam and I was still ticked off at Matty, I found I didn’t want to be completely alone either.  I spent enough of my off days at Eden it wouldn’t raise many eyebrows when I turned up there that night, and I could still be in familiar surroundings.

The club was doing a fairly brisk business when I got there, and both Alice and Jilly were out on the floor with Parker and Luis manning the bar.  Luis was a recent hire and the jury was still out on whether or not he could keep up.  He seemed to be hustling okay though as I fought my way clear to a seat at the bar.  “Rum and diet coke,” I called out over the din, well aware I could have been drinking the same thing at home.  Somehow drinking alone at the bar sounded less depressing than drinking alone in my apartment.

Before too long I had my drink and swiveled out to take a look at the dance floor.  If Daphne had been there with me I would have joined the throng, but for the moment I was content to sit and watch.  And drink.

“Hey, how long have you been here?” Parker asked, sliding a refill across the bar to me.

“Long enough to need a refill but not long enough to be cut off,” I replied, reaching for the drink.

“No date tonight?” he asked, already working on the next drink order, but staying nearby to talk to me.

I made a face. “No, I’ve had enough interrogation for the night, thanks.”

My answer clearly surprised him, and his hands came up in a supplicating gesture.  “Sorry I asked.”

“No…” I reached out and caught his arm, giving it a squeeze.  “I didn’t mean you.  I’m sorry.  It’s been a really shitty day, you know?”

“Sorry to hear that, darlin’.” His face was full of regret.  “Next round is on me.”

“Thanks,” I gave him a brief smile.  Parker moved off to fill a few more drink orders, and I was left to my people watching.  It was compelling enough in the old days, but with the advent of seeing people’s souls it was a beautiful, vibrant performance.  Like something out of a sixties musical written on an acid trip.  Vastly entertaining, increasingly so the more alcohol I imbibed.

After a while I wanted to be a part of it.  Tossing my purse behind the bar, I headed out there, not caring a bit if I was all by my lonesome.  And then I wasn’t alone anymore, I was part of the pulsing crowd that parted to accept me.  We moved as one large multi-limbed organism to the beat of the music, the people around me only too happy to include me into their clique.  It didn’t matter who was with whom, we all danced and swayed together, and for the first time in a while I felt part of the human race again.

When I finally returned to the bar to cool off, I was hot and sweaty, but happier than I’d been when I arrived.  I greeted Parker with a smile as he had a drink ready for me.

“Having a good time?”

“Yeah, a great time,” I held my hair up and away from my neck as I drank greedily, draining half the glass at once.

“You looked good out there.”

The compliment came as a surprise, but I wasn’t in the mood to read too much into it.  “You should have come out there to join me, take a break.”

It was his turn to be surprised.  “Nah, it’s not my scene.”

“Oh come on, I’ve seen you out there before.  You can still move, old man,” I teased lightly.  Parker still straddled the hump between thirty and forty by my calculations, not exactly ancient yet. “Come on, what do you say?” I grinned.

“What about your cop?”

I didn’t want to think about Ben.  I didn’t want to think about anything.  All that sounded good was going out to dance again and maybe another drink.  It wasn’t like I was hitting on him.  If he didn’t feel like it, it wasn’t any skin off of my nose.  “No more cop, no more angel, no more men of any kind.”

Parker gave me an odd look at that response, but I didn’t think he would particularly take my meaning anyway, so I didn’t worry too much about it.  “I don’t qualify as a man?”

“Nope,” I smiled cheerily, feeling no pain.  “You’re a boss, you don’t count.”

“I’m pretty sure I still count as a man.”  He looked a little disgruntled over the idea.

“Nope, you’re safe.  Hence the invite to dance.  If I just wanted to rub up against a guy on the dance floor I’d pick…”  My eyes scanned the room briefly and lit upon a good looking man who was watching me.  “…that guy,” I pointed.  “Or maybe…”

“Maybe I’d better take you home,” Parker frowned, setting down the tray of clean glasses he’d pulled down from the extra storage rack.

“I don’t want to go home, I want to go for a walk,” I protested, the night air sounding heavenly.  With my new plan in mind, I swung down off the barstool, clinging to the bar for a second as the room dipped and swayed at the movement.

“Okay, yeah.  I’m coming with you.”  Parker came around the bar in a heartbeat, catching hold of my elbow.

“I don’t need a bodyguard, I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can, darlin’, I want a bit of fresh air myself.  Let me get my jacket first.”  I should have recognized the placating tone, but I wasn’t exactly firing on all cylinders anymore.

“Sure,” I nodded easily, allowing him to steer me towards his office, as though he didn’t trust me enough to let me out of his sight for a moment for fear that I’d leave without him.  Parker didn’t take long and soon we stepped outside into the blessedly cool night air.  He still had a hold of my elbow but I didn’t mind.  We walked in companionable silence for a few minutes, my head clearing enough to form real thoughts again, but still blurry around the edges.

“What’s wrong with me?” I asked finally.  “Do I look like a criminal?”

“You?  No, of course not.  Whoever said you were?” His brows climbed in surprise before realization set in.  “Oh wait, it was the cop wasn’t it?  You can’t take anything they say to heart, angel, they’re suspicious by nature.”  He patted my arm soothingly.

“Don’t call me that, okay?”

“What, angel?”

“Yeah, I’ve had it up to here with angels, you know?” I lifted my hand up about neck high.

It was clear he didn’t know, but Parker went with it.  Sometimes it was nice to hang out with someone who rolled with the punches so easily.  “Sure, no problem.  What should I call you instead…? Let’s see now…” he considered aloud.  “How about peaches?”

“Peaches?  Why peaches?”

“Because you’re so sweet and you have that peaches and cream complexion.” He tapped my nose, the grin returning to his face.

I rolled my eyes over that one.  “Wow, that’s quite a line.  Does it normally work for you?” I smirked.

“Eh, about forty percent of the time,” he smirked back.  “What about kitten then?”

“Because I’m cute and cuddly?” My voice sounded anything but.

“No, because you have sharp claws that sneak up on a guy,” Parker chuckled.  “And because you have this air about you… makes a guy want to take care of you, bring you in out of the rain.”  His expression sobered as he studied me.

“Is that what you’re doing right now, Parker?  Taking care of me?” I quirked a brow at him.

“Naw, I’m just hoping you’ll let me scratch you behind the ears later.” He pretended to leer, but he couldn’t even keep a straight face as he said it, and we both ended up laughing.

“Why do guys do that?”  I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk after the laughter died down.  “Say obnoxious things hoping to get a reaction out of you?  Has that ever really worked?  Has a girl ever said to you ‘oh Parker, I really hoped you’d rub my belly and make me purr’.”  I slid my hands up his arms and onto his shoulders, fingers lightly stroking the soft hair at his neck as I delivered the line in a soft, breathy voice.

Parker swallowed, hands going to my hips as I wrapped my arms around him.  “No, can’t say as they ever have.” His voice had dropped, low and intimate in response.  For a moment I thought he might try to kiss me and I’d had enough to drink on an empty stomach that for a moment I thought I might not mind so much.  But then cooler heads prevailed, and we both let go of each other at the same moment.

The last thing I needed was for Parker to come under my angelic sway.  I needed him as a boss and a sometimes friend and nothing more.  “I’m sorry.  I know I’m a little drunk.  Maybe we should sit down for a minute?” I suggested.

I wasn’t sure if he was relieved or disappointed by the suggestion, but he gave a nod and an easy smile.  “You want to get a cup of coffee?  There’s an all night diner not too far from here.”

“No… wait.”  I looked up and saw the spire down the street.  “Come on,” I grabbed his hand, tugging him towards the church.

“A church?”  Parker didn’t even attempt to disguise the skepticism in his voice.  “Are they even open at this hour?”

“Only one way to find out, come on.”  I all but dragged him to the building, climbing up the stone steps to the huge double doors.  To my delight, they swung open easily.  “See, told ya!” I crowed triumphantly, only then suppressing my volume with a peal of giggles as I saw a couple of heads turn our way.  From the souls of the denizens inside, I suspected they were there more for the warmth and the light rather than any real desire to be closer to God.  But maybe that was uncharitable of me.

“I don’t know about this, Mercy.”  Parker looked distinctly uncomfortable as I pulled him across the threshold.

“Oh, stop complaining, it’s not like you’re gonna burst into flame or anything,” I whispered.  Linking my arm through his I pulled him deeper into the church.  I couldn’t help but wonder how long it had been since he’d set foot into a church.  It had been a few years myself, I’d had enough Catholic guilt to last me a good long while.  But as I stepped into the church, I couldn’t deny I felt the same feeling of calm come over me that normally did when I used to attend.

I led him to the front of the church where a block of candles were provided, to say a prayer for family and loved ones.  Adam immediately came to mind, and I lit a candle for him, wishing him well wherever it was he’d gone, and prayed for a safe return sooner than later.  It crossed my mind it might be wrong to pray to God for something like that, considering God was the one who’d damned him.  I sent the words out as more of a wish delivered to the universe rather than petitioning directly to God for Adam’s safety.

Parker still looked uncomfortable, but allowed me to steer him towards a seat in the front pew while I looked at the ornate altar.  “You want to stay and sit for a bit?” he whispered.

“Yes, for a little while, if you don’t mind,” I nodded.

He was silent for a few minutes and then patted my hand.  “How about I leave you here to… reflect for a few, and I’ll go walk back and get the car?  That way I can take you straight home from here?” he offered.  “You can sit for as long as you like, I’ll be waiting outside.”

I studied him more closely and saw it was more than just being uncomfortable.  He really didn’t like being in there.  I opened my mouth to ask him what the big deal was, but changed my mind at the last minute, deciding it wasn’t any of my business.  “Yeah, okay.  Pop your head in when you get back and I’ll be ready to go.”

It was all he needed and Parker was out of there like a shot, leaving me to wonder what it was about churches that bothered him so much.

Left alone to my thoughts, I enjoyed the stillness around me, taking comfort in the solitude.  Still, I couldn’t quite bring myself to appeal to God in prayer over my own situation.  What if he actually took notice of me?  What if the Grace gave me a direct conduit?  Did I want to bring that kind of scrutiny onto myself?  Was it blasphemy to sit in His house of worship when I was an abomination?

I was still thinking that over when the priest approached me, a genial smile on his face.  “Hello, Miss, welcome to our parish.  We’ll be closing our doors soon, but if you have any immediate needs, perhaps I can… provide you with some counseling this evening?”

There was nothing on his face to indicate there was anything behind his words other than their face value.  But the aura surrounding him was pitted and scored with dark blotches.  The smile died on my lips, but I worked hard to keep it there, frozen.  Suddenly the last place I wanted to be was in that church, especially alone.  Not that I expected the guy to jump me right there in the pew, he wasn’t as obvious as all that, but being near him made me feel sick to my stomach.

“I see you.”  Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but all at once I dropped the pretense of politeness, scooting to my feet.  “Behind your smiles and your pretty words, I see you.  And He can see you too, just you wait.”  I pointed upwards, to heaven.

The color drained from the priest’s face and a flash of guilt spilled over his features before he regained some of the righteous indignation so many of his kind wore.   “I think you should leave,” he spluttered, chest puffing out.

“What a good idea.”  I did smile then, even though I knew I must look and sound like a lunatic.  He was gonna get his sooner or later.  Only I hoped for sooner… suddenly I understood Sam’s need to mete out judgment.  I didn’t have that recourse, but wondered if a few phone calls wouldn’t hasten the guy’s judgment day a little?

Of course I had no idea who to report the guy to, but it was worth digging into a bit.  Maybe Ben would… no, I couldn’t exactly ask Ben about it anymore, could I?  How could I explain why it was I suspected the guy of being a scumbag when all he’d done was say two sentences to me?  Besides, Ben wasn’t even talking to me anymore, I remembered belatedly.  It was with a heavy heart I started down the church steps to wait for Parker outside.

A man lounged on the bottom step, shabbily dressed, dirty.  I took him for one of the homeless on his way up for a bit of warmth in the church.

At least, I thought he was a man…

As I drew closer, something began to bother me.  Something was off about the guy, and then I realized… he had no aura at all.

It was like his soul was completely absent.  “Oh, that can’t be good…” I murmured, slowing my pace and looking up the street for any sign of Parker.  He must have thought I’d be a while longer in the church because he took his sweet time in getting back to me.

The closer I got, the more uncomfortable I began to feel, even more so when his dark eyes lit upon mine. He smiled a terrible smile, and I noticed his teeth gleamed brightly in the uncertain light.  They looked very, very sharp.

“‘Ello, pretty,” he grinned, delighted I’d turned up.  “Look at you all bright and shiny like Christmas mornin’.”

Why did I feel more like I was the Christmas goose?

“Leave me alone.  I don’t want any trouble.”  I stopped stock still on the steps, not wanting to get even an inch closer to the man who wasn’t a man.  I don’t know what he was, but I knew for certain it wasn’t human.

“Trouble?” he chortled, taking a step closer and then another.  “I likes trouble.”

To my dismay, he didn’t move with the shambling gate one might expect from his getup, in fact, he was pretty spry.  “Yeah, well I don’t, so unless you want a mouth full of broken teeth, back off.”  It was all talk, of course, but there was a small part of me that hoped he’d back down at my show of bravado.  I noticed I started to glow faintly, and I took it as a good sign.

“Oh, you want to play with old Cephas, do you?  I likes to play, pretty.  Know all sorts of games.  Real divertin’ you might say.  ‘Ow’s about me and you play?”  There was that glittering smile again as he continued his approach.

The glow surrounding me began to brighten and I focused on gathering the power around me.  I wasn’t sure what happened the night I repelled Charles Weatie, but I trusted the Grace to take over at some point and let him have it.   The guy continued his advance, enthralled by the growing radiance around me, his expression one of anticipation.

All at once I felt the power intensify and surge forth in a brilliant flash of white light.  Fully expecting to see the guy down on the ground from the force of it, to my horror, I saw him basking in it, a look of intense rapture on his face.

“Oh, do that again, pretty.  You taste goooood…” he burbled, and I could see my Grace surrounding him with a staticky glow that faded rapidly.

“Shit…” I breathed.  The bastard actually liked it?  This was so not good…  Taking a shaky step backwards, I opened my mouth to call for Adam and then remembered he’d left for parts unknown.  “Samael!” I called out instead.

“Calling for that sod?  ‘E ain’t got the stones to tangle with Cephas no more,” he chortled before canting his head to one side as if scenting the air.  “‘E ain’t comin’ nohow.”

I looked instinctively to the sky, my heart sinking as I realized there was no sign of Sam anywhere.  Where could he be?  Maybe it was egotistic to assume that he would be there at my beck and call… after all, he hadn’t been there the last time that I was attacked.  But then again, I hadn’t called him specifically that night either and it was my own fault he got sick from the beer.  The demon… because that’s how I had started to think of him in my head, seemed unconcerned Sam might appear, and took another step closer, looking even hungrier if that was possible.

“Adamiel!” I called out, an edge of panic to my voice.  I knew he wouldn’t show.  I knew it, but I couldn’t help but call for him anyway.

The name caused him to pause however, eyes returning to the night sky.  Long enough for me to break away and run down the stairs.

“‘Old on there, pretty.  I ain’t done with you yet.”

I wasn’t expecting the tackle, and when he crashed into me from behind, I went down hard, wrenching my ankle on the bottom step as I hit the pavement.

Cephas flipped me over easily, his slight figure masking preternatural strength.  Once again I found myself trapped beneath a man’s body, only that one had no interest in my feminine charms.  That one looked like he wanted to devour my soul.  Up close I saw his eyes were completely black.  That is to say he had no pupils, not missing the white parts altogether.  I was right about his teeth, they were much sharper and pointier than human teeth upon close inspection.  I never wanted to be that close to teeth like that again!

Leaning close, I could feel his hot, fetid breath on my skin and I tensed for the pain I knew would come from those teeth.  Instead he licked up the side of my face with a broad stroke of his tongue, leaving a sticky trail of saliva on my skin, a look of sheer delight on his face.  “Soooo tasty….” he mumbled in a thick voice.

A scream worked its way up from my lungs, but before I could let it loose, he was suddenly off of me and I scrambled into a crouch, wondering if Sam had finally shown up or if something worse had come calling for me.

“Oy, you’re gonna regret that.”  Cephas rebounded to his feet in an instant but stood staring at the same thing I was.

Adam stood between us, his stance casual as though he did this sort of thing every day.  “Oh, I don’t think so.  I think if there’s any regret going on tonight it’ll be firmly in your camp.”  I had never been so glad to see anything as I was to see that familiar smirk!

“Adam!  Thank…”

“Not now, sweetcheeks, the grownups are talking,” he smirked, throwing my own words back at me.  “Lurking outside of a church, Cephas?  Business must be bad.”

“Gettin’ so it’s ‘arder and ‘arder to find what we need these days,” Cephas shrugged, unrepentant.  “What’s it to you?  She called for Samael first, not you.  Is she yours?” His eyes returned to me again, not quite able to banish the hunger from his gaze.

I saw Adam’s jaw tighten a fraction before the easy smile returned.  “He’s supposed to be watching over her for me.  I’ll have words with him about that later.”

Cephas laughed at that.  “Serves you right for trusting such a tasty morsel to ‘im, everybody knows ‘e’s lost his bite.”

“But you’ve felt the sting of it before, haven’t you.”  Adam’s tone dropped, low and menacing, and the demon was smart enough to look nervous.  “Take care to show a little respect in your voice when you speak about your betters.”

Taking on a wheedling tone, Cephas took a step backwards.  “Come on, Adamiel, you and me ‘aven’t ‘ad a problem between us for over a thousand years.”

“I hope we’re not going to have a problem now, are we?”  Adam didn’t advance on him, but the tone in his voice made it clear there was a part of him hoping Cephas would resist just a little.  Not quite spoiling for a fight, but definitely up to the challenge.

“‘Ow’s about we share ‘er then?” His eyes flicked towards me, unable to keep the covetous leer out of his voice.  “I wasn’t goin’ to ‘urt ‘er much.”

Adam extended his wings to their full span.  They rose around him dark and powerful to match the absolutely lethal expression on his face.  “You will not touch her, nor any of your kind.  She is under my protection, is that clear?  Or do you require a demonstration of my sincerity?” His eyes glittered dangerously, now he was spoiling for a fight.

Cephas all but tripped over his feet in his haste to back away, dropping his gaze submissively.  “Crystal clear, Adamiel.  Won’t be troubling your pretty lady again.”

I wasn’t so sure of that and it appeared Adam wasn’t either.  A gleaming silver sword appeared in his hand out of nowhere, and he pressed it to Cephas’ throat.  The shining blade made a hissing sound as it contacted the demon’s flesh and Cephas shrank away from its lethal touch.  Without another word, he scrambled away, melding into the shadows.  Adam stood there, his wings outstretched until Cephas completed his hasty retreat.  I opened my mouth to thank him when Adam whirled on me, his sword and wings disappearing with a soft rush of air.  “Are you alright?” He searched my face carefully, hands touching my arms, shoulders, my face, frantically as he searched for signs of damage.

“I’m okay,” I breathed, though I was still shaking from the aftermath of what happened and my ankle throbbed.  A small price to pay, all things considered.  “But if you hadn’t come…” I swallowed, unable to complete the thought.

“What were you thinking?” Adam shook me by the shoulders and my sluggish brain tried to keep up with the sudden shift of anger I heard in his voice.

“What?” I blinked.

“What are you doing here all alone in the middle of the night, Mercy?   Do you have a death wish or something?” he demanded.

“I wasn’t alone, Parker went to get the car.”

“And he left you here?”  His face darkened, and I hoped Parker stayed away a bit longer or he was going to get a piece of Adam’s mind.

“It’s a church,” I said helplessly.

A bitter laugh left his lips.  “And you think that somehow makes you magically safe?  It’s just a building, nothing more.  Christ, Mercy, I thought you were smart enough to take care of yourself…”

That pricked at my last already raw nerve and I snapped at him.  “Hey, what’s it to you anyway?  You left remember?  You don’t have the right to question what I do.”

Adam looked like he wanted to throttle me at the moment and I could see the effort it cost him to reign in his temper.  “I left to keep you safe,” he said slowly, as if speaking to a dimwitted child.

It occurred to me he must not have gone very far though since he’d appeared so quickly.  “Why did you come back then?” I thrust my chin up at him pugnaciously.

“You called me, remember?”

“I called Sam first.”

His face darkened as I reminded him of that.  “Why did you call for him first?”

“Why, are you jealous?”

“Answer the question.”

“I thought you were gone.  You said goodbye.”  I dropped my gaze, not wanting him to see how much it affected me.

“I told you, I left to keep you safe.” His voice softened, anger spent.

“Well, that is the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard of.”  My frustration spilled over into my voice.  “Clearly, it’s more dangerous for me with you gone.  Who was that guy, Cephas?  How come the Grace didn’t work on him?”

“He’s a minor imp, a demon.  His kind feeds on purity and goodness, that’s why the Grace was like crack to him.  Now that he’s got a taste…”

“You think he’ll come after me again?”

“It’s not so much him that concerns me.  Cephas is a coward and he knows I could rip him limb from limb.  It’s the one he serves we have to worry about.”

“The one he serves?  Another demon?”

Adam nodded.   “He’ll be very interested to hear about you.  They don’t dare move on angels, we’re far too dangerous for them to take on, but you...”  His eyes swept over my face and I saw the naked emotion there.  He was scared, afraid something beyond terrible might happen to me.  That scared the hell out of me.

“What would he do to me?” I breathed.

“For starters he could kill you once he gets a taste, he’s not known for his self control.  But… it’s conceivable he could trap you in his court and feed from you for all eternity.”

I felt like all of the air had been sucked out of my body, and my vision began to swim.  Instantly I felt myself caught up in his arms, and I clung to him for support, my eyes squinching shut as I waited for the dizziness to recede.  “Is that all…” I murmured finally, finding my balance again.

My eyes cracked open, and I was surprised to see how close my face was to his.  “Am I yours?” I asked, remembering that part of his exchange with the demon.

“What?”

“Cephas asked you, and you said I was under your protection.  Am I yours?”

He let go of me and disappointment lanced through me sharper than his magic sword would have.  “It’s just a word.  If it keeps you safe…” Adam gave a careless shrug.  Part of me didn’t want to believe that careless shrug, part of me desperately wanted to believe I was more to him than that.

“Do you want me to be yours?” I asked, unable to keep a note of longing from my voice.

Adam stared back at me for a long moment, his eyes tinged with unbearable sadness.  “It’s not that easy, Mercy.”

“Mercy?  Who are you talking to, honey?”  Parker’s voice came from behind me, and I understood he couldn’t see Adam.  Why did he have to show up then?

For a long moment I stared at Adam, willing him to stay and work things out with me.  “I don’t know.  Myself I guess,” I replied, my eyes on Adam’s face, expecting him to disappear at any moment.

“What are you doing out here by yourself?  It’s not safe at this time of night,” Parker admonished me lightly, coming to my side, and I saw Adam’s lips quirk at that vindication.

“Being stupid I guess, same as usual.”  I gave my boss a faint smile.

“Don’t say that, you’ve just had too much to drink tonight, your judgment’s bound to be a little off.”  Parker’s tone was kind and I flashed him a deeper smile of thanks.

“I’m ready to go home now.”

“Sure thing, car’s all ready and waiting.”  He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I saw Adam stiffen before I let Parker lead me to his silver Camaro.  When I looked up again, Adam was gone.

I was silent for the ride home, keeping my eyes closed so Parker would think I’d dozed off.  Okay, that was kind of shitty for me to do, given that he’d gone out of his way to come out with me for the walk and take me home when he could have been warm inside his office.  I just wasn’t sure I had the ability to carry on a normal conversation yet.

All I could think about was what would have happened to me if Adam hadn’t shown up when he had.  And what would happen to me the next time Cephas or one of his buddies showed up for a taste?  Was Adam still planning to take off, or was his timely arrival a sign he’d thought better of it?

“Here we are, darlin’,” Parker shook my knee gently and my eyes popped open.

“Thanks, boss, I really appreciate you looking out for me tonight.”  I gave him a heartfelt smile.

“You want me to walk you up?”

“Nah, that’s alright, I’ll be fine.”  Somehow I had the idea if I let him up he might try something stupid, like try to kiss me goodnight.

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah, of course.”  I already had the door open, my feet swinging out to the sidewalk.  “Good night, Parker.”

“G’nite, Mercy, get some rest.”

With a final wave, I disappeared into the building.  My ankle wasn’t at all happy about the stairs as I trudged up to my floor, but I figured that was the least of my worries for the moment.  The faint smell of enchiladas still hung in the apartment as I let myself in, and I remembered I’d left the pan of them in the oven without bothering to put them away in the fridge.  So much for all that work and the ingredients wasted.

Too tired to deal with it then, I resolved to toss them out in the morning.  For the moment there was only one person I wanted to talk to, but I doubted he’d take my calls.  Instead I pulled up Sam’s number on my cell but it rang and rang before an automated voice told me the number I dialed did not have a voicemail box set up.  Where in the hell had Sam disappeared to?

Deciding it wouldn’t hurt to try, I pulled up Adam’s number next.  To this day I have no idea what it was that I actually said to his voicemail.  I only knew that when I pulled up the number on my call log later, it said the message was eight minutes long.  That’s a lot of drunken rambling.

My fingers hovered over the keypad, Ben’s name looming large on the display.  On a moment of impulse, I hit the send key and I heard the phone ring once, twice… before I hit the end call button.  What was I doing?  It was the middle of the night, and I was pretty sure that Ben had washed his hands of me.  For long moments I sat there holding my phone, wondering if he’d call me back when he saw who the missed call was from.  But when the phone didn’t ring, I nodded to myself, curling up into a ball as I closed my eyes and chased oblivion.

Chapter Nineteen

I felt down in the dumps the next morning, although I was able to heal my own leg without a great deal of trouble (which was pretty awesome really). Even though I didn’t wake up to much of a headache, I didn’t feel like doing anything.  Luckily, I had coffee in the cupboard, food in the freezer and plenty of cat food on hand for Mimsy, so I wouldn’t have to leave for anything until I had to head in to work.

The night before had softened in my memory, blurring the edges of the danger, but it left the sour taste of despair in my mouth that no amount of Crest minty freshness could cure.  I still couldn’t raise either Adam or Sam on the phone and I didn’t bother to try Ben again.

When a knock came to the door I stiffened instinctively, but almost immediately eased as I reasoned – even if Cephas or his crew knew where to find me, would they be likely to knock?  To my pleasant surprise it was the delivery of gorgeous pale pink roses, my favorites.  In a moment of insanity, I actually thought they might be from Adam, but the card read: Please forgive me.  Ben.

Lifting the flowers to my nose, I fished out my phone, mulling over whether or not to call him.  Had he sent them because of my aborted call the night before?  Or had he been planning on sending them anyway?  I brought up his number.  What would it hurt to give him a call and thank him for the flowers?

Ben answered after the second ring, his voice a little hesitant.  “Hi.  I’m glad you called.”

“Hey, Ben, thanks for the flowers,” I smiled into my end of the phone.

“I’m glad you like them, I remember you said they were your favorite.”

“Yes, they are,” I replied, not quite sure what to say next.

“Mercy… look, I’m sorry.  I was way out of line yesterday.”

“You are?”  I admit, even with the card I was surprised to hear him so sorry after how adamant he was the night before about being in the right.

“Yes, you were right, I had no business following you.  I should have trusted you to tell me in your own time.”

Absolutely stunned, I nodded, not quite registering that he wouldn’t be able to see it.  When in the history of men had a man ever admitted he was wrong without being confronted with absolute ironclad proof?

“Mercy?”

“I’m surprised to hear from you so soon is all.”

“I guess it hit me pretty quickly what I lost.”

The silence stretched between us, and I struggled over what to say next.  My temper is legendary and I don’t get over things easily.  Even after someone apologizes, I tend to hold a grudge for a while.  It was why I hadn’t talked to my brother since the Las Vegas crack and it was why I hadn’t talked to my Aunt Marie in two years.  Once my trust was broken, it was hard to reassemble it again.

At the same time I wanted to patch things up with Ben.  I really did care about him and I could hear in his voice he cared about me too.  If only things weren’t so screwed up… If I let him back into my life would that put him in danger?

“I’m sorry too, about the things I said and tossing you out.  I always do that, get angry and then there’s no talking to me,” I offered, meeting him part of the way.

“No, I get it, you were pissed off and you had every right to be.”

“And I get where you’re coming from too, I do.  You’re just worried about me,” I allowed.  I still wasn’t happy about it, but I could understand it.

“Do you think I could see you?  Maybe we could work things out.”

The silence stretched on even longer that time.  “Maybe,” I replied finally, not wanting to commit to too much too fast.  “I’ll call you tomorrow.”  It probably wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but I needed that time.  I knew from past experience if he came over too soon I’d still be too angry to see past the spying and what would be the point in that?  I didn’t want to be mad at him, but I knew myself well enough to know I needed more time for it to fade.  It didn’t help that my thoughts kept running to Adam and where things stood with him.  Was it fair to keep seeing Ben when I felt such a strong attraction to another man?

Then again, was it fair to myself to keep holding a torch for a guy who clearly didn’t want to start anything up with me for my own good?  Noble motives or not, it didn’t bring me any closer to Adam.

“Tomorrow?  Alright.”  If he was disappointed, he did a good job of hiding it.

“I’ll talk to you then.  Bye, Ben, I’m glad we talked.”

“Good bye, Mercy, I’m glad we talked too.”

* * *

I started talking to Ben each night before I went to bed.  Sometimes it was late, after I’d gotten home from work, but Ben always answered when I called, and stayed up with me as long as I wanted to.  We talked about everything and nothing, getting to know each other better.  Gradually I lost my anger, but something kept me from inviting him over or agreeing to see him in person.

Work was good, uneventful which suited me fine.  As day after day went by with still no word from either Adam or Sam, I started to wonder if I’d ever see either of them again.  Once or twice I thought I glimpsed Sam out of the corner of my eye, but whenever I looked there was no trace of him.  Frankly I didn’t credit him with being that sneaky.  If he was around why hadn’t he returned any of my calls?  Eventually I assumed it was my overactive imagination and accepted that my angels had moved on.

On the plus side, I hadn’t seen any sign of Cephas or his like since that night either.  Of course I didn’t go near that church again, I wasn’t completely stupid.  Apart from a few new interesting traits, I started to settle back into my normal routine again.  It was almost as if I’d never even met an angel.

Almost.

And if I still dreamed about Adam… well, that’s all they were - dreams.

The day came when I decided to invite Ben over.  Nothing fancy, just to watch a movie, order a pizza and maybe start to rebuild some of the ground we’d lost.  He’d shown remarkable restraint, I thought, in not bringing up anything about Sam or Adam or the time he followed me to Sam’s place.  I figured the least I could do was return the favor and see if we could put it all in the past.  After all, I wasn’t really involved with them anymore, what harm could come out of it?

I was glad to see Ben’s familiar smile when I opened the door and not any nasty surprises.  It was funny how even after a couple of weeks of normalcy I still expected to find a nasty surprise on the other side of my door.

“Hi, Mercy, you look great.”  Ben stepped inside, hesitating for a moment before leaning in to lay a chaste kiss to my cheek.

“So do you,” I replied, and I meant it, I’d missed him.  “What kind of pizza do you want?”  The business of ordering pizza and picking a movie aside, we settled on the couch beside each other and I was surprised at how quickly the easy comfortable feeling sprang up between us.

One moment we were laughing over a particularly grotesque sequence in one of my favorite horror movies, Slither (if you haven’t seen that one, I recommend it!  Only you shouldn’t watch it if you’re squeamish about slugs or aliens munching on dead animals).  The next thing I knew we were kissing, and it reminded me of that first clinch on his couch the night I’d first stayed over at his place.

“I missed you,” he breathed between kisses, and I felt a tug at my heart.

“Missed you too,” I murmured against his mouth.  The movie forgotten, my hands tugged at his shirt, pulling him close.

“Ugh, what do you see in this bozo?” I heard Adam’s voice, and opened my eyes to see him shaking his head in disgust behind Ben’s back.

“You have got to be kidding me.”  I wrenched my mouth from his, my eyes squinching shut for a long moment but when I opened them again, Adam still stood there.

“What?”  Ben had every right to look confused at the interruption.

I know, I was doing it again.  But I challenge you not to react when someone talks to you, seen or unseen.  At least I kept the swearing inside my head.

“I’m sorry, I um, I just remembered something I have to do.  I’ll be right back.”

“Mercy, is everything alright?”

“I’ll let you know in a minute,” I muttered darkly, moving into my bedroom after shooting Adam a look to make it clear I wanted him to follow me.

“What are you doing with that schmo?” Adam demanded, as soon as I had the door shut.

“He happens to be a nice guy,” I hissed, not at all amused by the interruption, even as I couldn’t help but notice he looked fantastic.  Then again, he’d never looked anything but fantastically tempting to me, even when the most obnoxious things came out of his mouth.

“You deserve better.”

“Yeah?  Who do I deserve, Adam?  Tell me,” I challenged him, taking a step closer and he fell silent.  “Where have you been?” I pleaded with him to tell me something, anything real, but again, he remained silent.  “Why did you come here tonight?” I tried again.

Adam remained silent.

What kind of game was he playing?  I don’t want you but I don’t want anyone else to have you either?  It drove me insane, because only an insane person would have wished he’d stick around if only to trade smarmy quips in that moment.  I would have kicked Ben to the curb just then if he’d asked me to, but still nothing came from his lips.

“You can’t keep showing up here every time I start to put my life back together.  Unless… you have something else to tell me?”  I waited, chewing at my bottom lip while I waited for some sign from him he might be ready to chuck his ridiculous notion to keep his distance from me.

“Mercy…” At that one word alone I knew nothing had changed.

“Save it,” my shoulders slumped.  “You’re right, I do deserve better.  But I don’t see it waiting in here for me, do I?”

His silence spoke volumes.

“Mercy, the pizza’s here, I’ll take care of it,” Ben called out from the other room.

“Okay, I’ll be right there,” I replied in the most normal voice I could manage before I turned back to Adam.  “I don’t want to do this anymore.  You don’t want me, I get it.  So just stop torturing me, please.  If you have something to tell me, go through Sam from now on.”

“Is that what you think?  That I don’t want you?”  Adam took a step closer towards me, but I retreated.

“I know you don’t.  Otherwise whatever it is you’re afraid of wouldn’t matter.”

“Mercy, it’s not that…”

“Simple, I remember,” I cut him off.  “Well, that’s all I’m trying to do right now, simple my life up.  And right now it includes that man out there because he’s good and honest and he genuinely cares about me and isn’t afraid to say it.”

“Do you love him?”

It was my turn to fall silent.  Did I love Ben?  It was too soon to tell.  I liked him a lot, but love… “It’s not important.”

“Damn it, Mercy, answer me.”  Adam pressed me up against the closed door, his voice low and urgent.  “Do you love him?”

By the way my body instantly reacted to how he pressed against me I knew the answer.  For a second I considered lying, it might simple things up between us but not in the way that I wanted.  “No.”  My breath caught at the expression my confession produced on his face and I almost thought it would make a difference, but then that resignation returned.

Leaning in, his lips grazed my cheek.  “Goodbye, Mercy.  I won’t bother you again,” he murmured.  But as he pulled away, my lips turned towards his, catching the corner of his mouth.  The moment our lips touched, his mouth chased hungrily after mine and I was lost, utterly swept up in the maelstrom of emotions that sprang up at the intimate contact.  It was so much more than the last kiss we’d shared, but bittersweet, because I could feel it was goodbye, no matter how much I wished it could be otherwise.

“Mercy?”  Ben’s voice came again through the door, and I fancied he was in the kitchen, hunting for plates.

Adam wrenched his lips from mine, breathing raggedly as he pressed his forehead to mine.  “Be right there.”  My voice came out sounding shaky.  “Please…” I whispered, one last plea.

“I can’t,” Adam shook his head.  “I won’t lose you too.”

“I’m not her.”

“No,” he found his smile then, long fingers stroking the underside of my jaw.  “You’re not.  And you’re going to be just fine without me.”

“You won’t come any more if I call, will you?”

“You won’t need to call,” he said confidently, but I wasn’t so sure.

“I guess this is really goodbye then.”  I took a deep steadying breath as he pulled away from me, moving to the window.

Adam nodded.  “Thanks.”

“For what?”

“Reminding me who I am.”  With that cryptic goodbye, he was gone in a rush of dark wings, leaving me all alone in my bedroom.

A soft knock came on the door I leaned against, and I pulled it open to reveal a very worried looking Ben on the other side.  “Mercy, are you alright?”

I swiped at the tears gathering at the corner of my eyes.  “I got some bad news is all.”

“Aw, come here.”  Ben gathered me up into a big hug and I laid my head on his shoulders, tears falling silent and hot until the sharp sting of loss started to subside. I would grieve later in the silence of my bedroom at night, but Adam was right, I would survive it.

“I’m okay now.”  I sniffed, pulling back with a tentative smile.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Ben searched my face carefully, the concern in his eyes plain for anyone to see.

I let out a long, calming breath, my chin coming up with hope.  “No, but I will be.”

Epilogue

I was right.

The more time passed, the less I thought of Adam, Sam or anything supernatural.  One week stretched into two and the next thing I knew a couple of months passed by and still no word from either angel.  If Nathanael and his buddies made a decision about me, I wasn’t privy to it, and as long as they left me alone I didn’t really care.  While I was careful to avoid going anywhere near that church or any others, to my relief I didn’t see Cephas or anything like him either.

Apart from my ability to see people’s souls and the occasional offer of help to cure someone’s minor injury, I settled back into my old life again.  I even started taking massage therapy classes.  Not that I wanted to give up working in the club, but when someone had a headache and you had the ability to heal it in a flash, I found it helped to have a tangible reason for it to work in order for people to accept it more easily.

Matty and I eventually got past our differences, mostly because I might have led him to believe the ability wore off over time.  Alright, I did tell him it was gone, and from the look of disappointment on his face at the news I knew I’d done the right thing.  Convinced the power of imperceptibility was more trouble than it was worth, I left off using it for the most part.  Daphne was the only one who knew the truth, the only one I could confide in everything.

Ben and I were still going strong.  He stopped asking me about that night with Nathanael and Adam outside the restaurant or what my association with Sam had been about.  After a while it didn’t seem to matter anymore, as day after day went by without anything strange cropping up again.  While I do recall seeing his fingers trace over my smooth, unblemished abdomen in search of a surgery scar with a thoughtful expression from time to time, he never said anything to me about it.

Part of me felt bad for keeping part of myself hidden from Ben, but then again, how many of us feel the need to share everything with the person we date?  We hadn’t even traded I love you’s yet, and I rationalized to myself I wasn’t going to let it affect our relationship.  I had years to go before I’d know if I was immortal and the little things seemed easier to sweep under the rug than get into.  Besides, Ben seemed happy with things the way they were.  We even made plans for the holidays to have everyone over at his place for dinner and I’d get to meet his parents.  But first came Halloween, my favorite holiday of the year.

I’ve always preferred Halloween to even Christmas or my birthday, ever since I was a kid.  There’s something about dressing up and becoming another person for a day… it always appealed to me.  In the past Daphne and I have gone all out on our costumes, and I taught myself how to sew to help come up with an outfit that looked believable and wouldn’t break my wallet.

The Halloween Party at Eden had become something of a legend among our set.    On whatever Sunday was closest to the holiday, Parker closed down the bar to paying customers and it was open to employees and their friends and family for the night.  Costumes were mandatory.

In the past I’d always asked Daphne and Matty to come and Parker was pretty liberal with the guest list even though it was an open bar.  For about two seconds I thought about dressing as an angel that year, but decided in the end it was too cheesy.  Instead, I went as a nurse, a sly wink to my healing ability.  Ben came dressed as my patient, the ragged bandages around his head and arm a testament to my clumsy ability with a roll of gauze, but it seemed to work with a slightly comical effect.

I knew Daphne was coming as a pirate wench with her boyfriend du jour Jake coming as a pirate king.  Matty, I wasn’t sure of, but he said he’d be there and I looked forward to having him meet Ben.

I promised Parker I’d come early to help him set up, so I made plans to meet Ben there.  Parker already had most of the decorations up by himself by the time I got there, but I grabbed a step stool and a roll of scotch tape and got to work.  He was dressed all in black as a military commando type, complete with a flak vest and an earpiece as though he was ready to take orders at any moment.  He looked great, a little dangerous and kinda sexy even, though I would never have told him so, his ego was big enough as it was.

“Sexy nurse, I like it,” he grinned when he saw me.

“It’s not a sexy nurse outfit,” I frowned, thinking he likened my outfit to those cheap nylon costumes you could buy in stores, usually showing more asscheek than I liked to leave the house in.  I tried my best to find a white nurse’s dress pattern that wasn’t too old fashioned.  Not the modern scrubs most of them wore now, but not a cheesy fetish costume either.

“Sure it is.” Parker dropped a wink before turning back to hanging a giant fuzzy black spider on the overhead lights.  “What’s Ben coming as tonight, Sherlock Holmes?”

I was glad he stopped referring to Ben as ‘the cop’ as he’d done for the first few weeks until it because obvious I was seriously dating him.  “Ha, ha.  No, he’s coming as my patient, bloody bandages and all,” I smiled, setting up a string of orange pumpkin shaped lights.  “What about your date, is she coming as GI Jane?” I teased.

“No, I’m going stag tonight.”

“No date?” My brows came up in surprise.  Parker did alright with the ladies.  He was rich and good looking, most girls didn’t ask for much more than that.

“No, I’m a rebel, Mercy, a lone wolf…” he replied, affecting a grizzled, raspy tone of voice.  Maybe it was an impression of Jason Statham for all I knew, it just made me giggle.

“Maybe you’ll meet your match at the party tonight.”

“Yeah, maybe,” he allowed with a chuckle.

We hung the rest of the decorations, and I went to the bar to start mixing up Parker’s famous Halloween punch; a mixture of too many alcohols to list that still managed to taste good after he added his secret ingredient.

The door opened, and Parker took one look, calling out the usual.  “Club’s closed tonight, private party,” before muttering, “there’s a sign right on the front door, moron.”

My head came up to see who it was and I froze in shock as I spotted Sam looking just the same as I’d last seen him, in his shorter hairstyle and long black coat.  “Sam?”

“Did you invite this guy?”  Parker looked between the two of us, clearly wondering what the relationship was there.

“No, but…”

“I must speak with you,” Sam said in a voice that brooked no argument, and I felt my stomach instantly clench into a ball of stress.

“I’ve gotta go get things set up in the booth so… I’ll leave you to it.”  Parker excused himself with a final look to Sam.

Sam waited until Parker was all the way across the club before he approached the bar, his expression inscrutable.

“Wow, Sam.  Long time no see,” I said with false cheer, my hands keeping busy behind the bar.

“Yes, it has been too long.”

I kept my silence at that.  If it had been too long it was his fault for not returning any of my calls.

“I know I am not supposed to talk to you…” he began in a conciliatory voice.

That was not what I had expected to hear at all.  “Wait, why not?” I interrupted.

“Adam was most specific.”

“Adam told you not to see me?”  My voice climbed several octaves into a range only dogs could hear.  Oh, I was livid!  It still makes me mad to think about it.

“He bade me not to speak with you or let myself be seen, but I have ever watched over you, in case you should need my protection.”

“I needed you!  I called for you that night outside the church and you never came.”  Even after all of those weeks his abandonment still stung, and I had to wonder why he felt the need to follow such a ridiculous edict from Adam.

“Ah, that was regrettable, but I was unavailable that night.  It was only later that I heard of the danger you faced and for that I am truly sorry.”  Sam did seem genuinely regretful at that, and I felt a little mollified.

“Where did you go that you couldn’t hear me call you?”

“I went up to see Nathanael.”

“You did?”  I could feel my brows climb a mile.  Somehow I was under the impression he was forbidden to do that.  “Why?”

“I could not allow Adam to take the blame for my actions.  If there is a price to be paid, I stand ready to pay it.”

I couldn’t fault him for that, and it wasn’t like he could have known I would be attacked that night anyway.  I felt some of my anger start to melt.  But still… “And you couldn’t tell me?  You disappeared without a word.  I had no idea what happened to you.”

“It was not by my design.  Adam was very specific.”

“He’s way too bossy for his own good,” I muttered.

Sam’s lips quirked.  “Yes, he has ever been so.”

“How is he?” I asked before I could talk myself out of it.

“Would you like to know how he has instructed me to say he is or how he truly is?” he asked me with a perfectly straight face.

“Both.”  Alice came in then, dressed like a cat and I gave her a distracted wave.

“He is fine, he has moved on to somewhere on the East coast of these United States. I am not entirely certain where.”

I guessed that was the line.  “And how is he really?” I pressed, trying to tell myself I didn’t care.

Sam’s head canted to one side as he mulled that over.  “I do not honestly know.  When I speak with him, he does not sound as his usual self.”

“You mean obnoxious and bossy?” I smirked.

“To some extent,” Sam smiled back.  “As you would say, he is still acting as though he is… the boss of the world?” He waited for my reaction and I nodded approvingly.  “I believe his absence has caused him great pain, though he will not speak of it.”

I digested that for a moment.  “Does he ever ask about me?”  I could feel my self esteem eroding even as I asked the question.  Why did I give him that kind of power over me?

“You are the only reason he calls me now, for some word of how you fare.”

I felt my heart speed up a little in spite of myself.  “Where is he?”

“I do not know.”  My eyes narrowed at him suspiciously and his hands came up in a supplicating gesture.  “I truly do not,” Sam assured me and after a brief consideration, I found I believed him.  It was probably part of why Adam asked him to stay away from me, Sam was practically incapable of lying.

The door opened then and Daphne and her date walked in with Matty and his date dressed as hippies from the sixties.  Daphne’s eyes went wide at seeing Sam and she gave me a surreptitious wave before steering everyone to a table instead of coming up to the bar to interrupt us.  I never loved Daphne more than in that moment!

Pulling my thoughts back from the interruption, I turned back to Sam.  “What did Nathanael say, when you went up to visit him?”  Was that why he’d felt the need to come and talk to me?

“The powers that be have adopted a watch and wait attitude.”

“What does that mean?”  Was I still living under the threat of possible execution for carrying the Grace?

“They are reserving judgment for the moment.”

Super.  So I still had that to look forward to.  But there was no sense in worrying over it, for all I knew they were content to watch and wait for a century or more before making a decision.  Time was likely not the same to them as it was to me.

“What was so important you decided to break Adam’s commandment and come and talk to me then?”  Why did I have a feeling it wasn’t because he’d missed me?

“I had to warn you.”

In a stroke of perfect timing, Ben walked in, his easy smile of anticipation freezing in place as he spotted me talking at the bar with Sam.  I could see disappointment cloud his features and the desire to walk up and join us.  I couldn’t have blamed him if he had, but instead he went to join Daphne’s table, his eyes never leaving me.

Sam was talking and I realized that I’d only been partially listening to him as he spoke of the impending danger.  “Wait… what?  I’m sorry, say that again?”  This time I gave him my full attention, forgetting all about Ben and his hurt feelings as Sam repeated the troublesome news.  The ball of stress in my stomach expanded, suffusing my entire being and I saw the telltale glow emanating from my hands.  I knew they only did that when I was afraid… when I thought attack was eminent and the Grace responded for my protection.

Sam noticed it at the same time and he reached for my face, gently drawing my gaze to his.  “Mercy, you must not be alarmed.  We will not allow this to come to pass.”

A near hysterical bubble of laughter left my lips.  Don’t be alarmed?  That was like saying whatever you do, don’t think of a purple hamster.  What’s the first thing that pops into your head?  “How can you say that after what you just told me?”

“They are rumblings only, but I thought you should know for your own safety.”

“And what about Adam, did he think I should know?” I demanded.

Sam looked uncomfortable at that question.  “He has made it most clear he believes you should remain ignorant of all of this, also for your own safety.”

“I am sick and tired of everyone making all of these decisions for my own damned safety!” I all but yelled and every pair of eyes in the room swiveled to rest on us.  Immediately I felt my cheeks flush with warmth and the glow began to recede.

Interesting.

“Is there anything else?” I asked, lowering my voice.

“No,” Sam answered simply, looking uneasy at the scrutiny we were under and I remembered he was still unused to being seen by humans most of the time.

I nodded, still trying to process what he’d said.  “Well, I appreciate you stopping by.  I’d invite you to join the party but…”

“I cannot stay,” he smiled softly.

“If you talk to Adam, tell him…” I paused, swallowing back the words that leapt to mind.  “Actually, nevermind.  If he wants to know he can ask me himself,” I shook my head.

Sam nodded slowly, a glance to the others in the room before he began to back away.  “All will be well, Mercy, and remember, I am never far away.”

Why was it I had trouble believing him?

To Ben’s credit, he waited until Sam made his departure before approaching me.  I knew he was busting a gut to say something at watching me with Sam, but he restrained himself admirably, giving me a tight smile.  “Hey, you look great.”

I appreciated the effort, but with what was coming down the pipe I knew it was time to stop dancing around the issue.  Coming around the bar, I leaned up to give him a tender kiss before letting out a shaky breath.  I reached for his hand, needing his solid comforting presence.  “We have to talk…”

Read on for a special preview of Lisa Olsen’s vampire series, Wake Me When the Sun Goes Down, available now!

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Books by Lisa Olsen:

The Touch

Pretty Witches All in a Row

Moonsong

Nine Steps to Sara

The Fallen Series

Angel of Mercy

Mercy for the Wicked

Mercy for the Damned

Child of Mercy

Forged Bloodlines Series

Wake Me When the Sun Goes Down

Meet Me When the Sun Goes Down

Find Me When the Sun Goes Down (2013)

For more information, visit the author’s website at http://www.lisaolsen.net

Wake Me When the Sun Goes Down

Chapter One

I couldn’t move.

I wasn’t strapped to the table, or in a straight jacket, though one might have been a good idea in hindsight; I just couldn’t make my limbs obey me.  It felt like my entire body was weighed down, as if I’d been mountain climbing all day (not that I’ve ever done such a thing in my lifetime).  I couldn’t even turn my head, which was disconcerting, especially since the hard surface at my back didn’t feel at all like my Serta pillow top.

My other senses were in overdrive though.  Something strong and astringent in the air made the back of my throat tingle unpleasantly.  Was my roommate up cleaning the bathroom with a bucket of bleach?  No, that didn’t seem quite right.  It had a different chemical smell I couldn’t quite place, along with an underlying scent that smelled good.  Like the spicy aroma of Chinese food that lingers long after the last egg roll is gone.  Besides, I couldn’t picture a world in which Bridget would be up cleaning in the middle of the night.

My skin felt itchy all over, irritated by the rough material pressed up against it.  Where were my warm, cuddly pajamas?  A sheet was pulled all the way up over my head, as if I’d been trying to hide in my sleep.  I noticed my feet were bare, which was really odd.  I always slept with at least one pair of socks on, so my feet wouldn’t freeze.  They didn’t feel cold at the time though; I didn’t feel hot or cold, just… normal, apart from the fact that I couldn’t move.  I took some small comfort in the fact that I wasn’t completely paralyzed with no feeling in my body whatsoever.  A muffled but steady thump reached my ears, and in my foggy state I lay there trying to figure out what it was.

That’s when I realized… I wasn’t alone.

There was someone else in the room with me, I could hear him breathing.  For two seconds I forgot to breathe myself, fear paralyzing what was left of my moving body.  Who was in my bedroom?  Was I even in my bedroom?  Suddenly it seemed less like a weird dream and more like a dangerous situation to be in, especially when I found I couldn’t open my eyes.

A swishing sound hit my ears, like a swinging door being pushed open, footsteps echoing in its wake.  “Hey, I’m here to pick up an Anja Evans?”

That’s me!  Only the guy mispronounced my name, with a hard “j” instead of the softer “y” sound of Ahnyah it’s supposed to sound like, so obviously I didn’t know the guy.  Also his shoes squeaked, so we definitely weren’t in my bedroom, not that I really thought I was anymore.

“Evans… Evans… I don’t have an Evans here, how long has she been here?” a different man answered, sounding bored as he flipped through papers.

“I don’t know, some time tonight.  Are you sure you don’t have her?  Maybe she’s not updated in the computer yet?  Blonde hair, blue eyes, about average height, wearing some kind of costume?”

That sounded like me alright, but costume?  My hands moved a tiny bit, sliding across the heavy fabric that felt nothing like my pj’s.  Why would I be dressed up in a costume?

“Oh, Jane Doe number six.  Sure, we’ve got her over here.”  The steps got louder as they walked in my direction.

“You’ve had six unidentified females today?  Are they that common here?”  He sounded almost as surprised as I was.  If they didn’t know who I was, that meant they hadn’t called my family or anyone yet.  I was completely on my own.

“No, they’re really not.  That’s why she’s only number six, ever.”

I’m over here, I’m awake… I tried to speak, but I couldn’t make any sound, and my eyes still wouldn’t budge no matter how hard I tried to force them open. My fingers started to respond sluggishly, but the men must not have noticed under the sheet.

All at once, I realized I must be in the hospital.  That would explain the uncomfortable bed, the vague disinterest about me and the smell of disinfectant.  I drew some comfort from that, because if I was drugged out or paralyzed, at least I was under a doctor’s care.  That was my assumption anyway…

“Are you sure you have the right one?  I’ll catch hell if I bring back the wrong body.  How did she die?”

Die?  I couldn’t be dead!  I could still hear, smell, and feel everything.  On the plus side, my tongue started to loosen, and I could open and close my teeth.  If I could move, I couldn’t possibly be dead, but something was definitely wrong.  I swallowed uncomfortably past the lump that rose in my throat.  What had happened to me?  All too soon, the comfort of finding myself in the hospital turned to despair, and I could feel a silent tear slip from the corner of my eye.  This went unnoticed by the men in the room thanks to the sheet pulled up over my head.

“Ah… looks like traumatic blood loss.  Tissue damage to the neck, died in transit to the hospital, that’s all I’ve got here.  But you’re welcome to take a look before you take her.”

A millisecond before the sheet came off, my eyes popped open and a high, keening cry leaked out of me like the air out of a balloon; my only available version of a scream, I suppose.  The effect was electrifying.  Both men screamed, and like a switch was flipped, I felt the energy rush back into my limbs.  Filling my lungs with air, I screamed right back at them, and we stared at each other, all of us screaming for a good ten seconds before the room got really quiet.

“You’re… you’re…”  The guy dropped his clipboard as he backed up a few feet.  The other man, the one who came to get me I assumed, continued to stare at me like I had just risen from the dead, which was understandable.

“W-where am I?”  My voice sounded shrill to my ears and I couldn’t help but wince, doing my best to swallow back my fear.  I felt… wrong somehow, but I couldn’t quite identify why, finding myself in such strange surroundings was too distracting.

“Shoreline Memorial Hospital in San Francisco.  You’re, um… you’re supposed to be dead.”

“I’m sorry…” slipped out reflexively, though what I had to be sorry about, I couldn’t imagine.  Shoreline was the same hospital Bridget worked at, and I wondered if she knew I was there.  I was tired of lying down and I might have said something to that effect as I pushed myself up to a seated position, but I was too busy looking at my surroundings to be sure if I’d spoken out loud.  It wasn’t a hospital room as I’d assumed, but what looked like a morgue, based on my experience with TV and movies.

I was still half lying on a gurney, but a large stainless steel table stood in the center of the room, with holes drilled through it for drainage of various… ugh, I didn’t want to go there.  “I feel…” dizzy, confused, itchy, nauseous, sore, tired…wrong… “…different.”  My tongue finally supplied, and I again marveled at the sound of my own voice.  Was it my ears or the timbre of my voice that had changed?  It was impossible to tell.

“That’s understandable, you’ve been dead for over an hour,” the morgue attendant replied distractedly, bending to pick up the clipboard.

“Oh come on, Dave, there’s obviously been some kind of a mistake.  She’s no more dead than you or me.  I know some folks that are going to be glad to see you up and walking around.”  The other guy gave me an encouraging smile.

Walking around didn’t sound like too bad of an option.  More than anything I wanted out of the morgue with its strange smells and disturbing tables.  Despite the dizziness, I launched myself to my feet, throwing myself off balance as my muscles propelled me farther than I had intended.  I careened into the icky metal table, sending a tray of tools crashing to the ground.  The sound was deafening, and I clamped my hands over my ears as I waited for it to end.

“Whoa, are you sure you should be up and around?”  Smiley guy reached out to steady me, catching hold of my elbows.

That’s when I noticed the front of my dress had been cut and gaped open, showing more of my natural assets than I cared to, outside of a beach.  When I say my dress, I don’t mean my dress.  I’d never seen the thing before in my life.  No wonder they reported I’d been wearing a costume, I would have made the same assumption.  The underdress was made from a scratchy, coarse linen, the color of marigolds.  The outer layer was a heavier, indigo wool, held up just below the shoulders by two round metal broaches adorned with three running horses, their legs intertwined.  It was hard for me to gauge the whole effect in looking down.  Wherever it came from, they’d never get the deposit back.  Besides the long cut down the chest, it was also soaked through with blood on the left side of my body.

“I don’t belong here,” I murmured, pulling myself free from his grasp and doing my best to hold the dress closed.  Overcorrecting, I nearly fell over the other way.  Trying to muster a modicum of dignity, I swallowed again, clearing my throat in search of my normal tone of voice.  “Can either of you tell me what’s going on?”

“I’m not sure, this almost never happens,” Dave replied, losing some of the stunned look from his face, I saw his eyes dip to my chest and I shot him a look.

“But it does sometimes?” That was disturbing to hear on many levels.

Dave’s face flushed when he saw that I noticed him looking and he turned away, coughing into his hand as he approached a desk set in the far corner of the room.  “Well no, not down here.  Usually they catch that sort of thing up on the main floors.  Um, let’s see what I can find out here.”  He tapped on the computer and the other man followed to look over his shoulder.  “You were brought in a little over an hour ago… and died enroute to the hospital.  They tried to revive you, but…”

He’d already said that before, but it was like it had happened to someone else.  “I don’t remember any of this.”  I shook my head miserably; it was starting to pound something fierce.

Smiley guy took pity on me, fixing me with that same reassuring smile.  “You’ve been through quite a trauma, Ma’am.  Maybe you should sit down?”  Nodding, I avoided the creepy tables and slid into a plastic molded chair by the swinging door.  “I’m Mike Turley, I work for the medical examiner’s office with SFPD, and I’m glad to find you alive and breathing.”

“Anja Evans.”  I stuck out my hand by force of habit and after a moment’s hesitation, he shook it.  I was struck by how warm his hand was, but I didn’t feel uncomfortably cold.  Any difference in temperature was probably from my lying in the chilly morgue for an hour without my socks on.

“Nice to meet you, Anja.”  He pronounced my name correctly that time.  “Sit tight, I’m sure there are a lot of people who want to talk to you.”  Straightening, he turned back to where Dave sat at the computer.  “I’m going to need to make some calls and my signal’s for shit.  Do you have a phone I can use?”

“Oh yeah, there’s never any signal down here.  Feel free to use this line here, dial nine to get out.  I should really get a doctor down here to examine her, or I wonder if I should take her up to the ED myself…”

A lot of people who wanted to talk to me.  Cool beans.  And lots of doctors poking and prodding me as well.  Even better.  My eyes flicked to the swinging door beside me, the urge to flee growing stronger and stronger, until I lurched out of the chair and out the door with a soft rush of air.  Once I was on the move, it seemed a simple thing to keep going.  Objects in motion are easier to stay in motion, or something like that.  I’ve never been particularly good at physics, no matter what you may have heard.

I’d always had the stigma of being kind of a book nerd.  It’s cliché, but maybe it had something to do with the braces and glasses I wore all through high school.  Okay, so looking back I can admit it had more than a little to do with button down shirts and skirts that didn’t rise above the knee, but my parents were really strict while I was growing up.  Even three years out of high school, I still had trouble coming out of my shell, as my sister Hanna liked to call it.  Or pulling the stick out of my… behind (I’m paraphrasing), as Bridget liked to say a bit more colorfully.

While the braces were long gone, the glasses remained, but I liked to think I didn’t look all that different from any other student at the Central Coast Academy of Fine Arts.  When I wasn’t wandering through the bowels of the hospital wearing a torn, bloody rag, that was.

The need to get away from the morgue propelled me forward, I thought it was adrenaline lending me swiftness at the time.  The earlier stiffness was completely gone, no trace of the paralysis, though I still felt off my game.  Every second that drew me farther away, I expected to hear my name called from behind, or even a ‘stop that girl!’ yelled after me.  But I didn’t run into a soul on my way to the wide elevator at the end of the hallway.  As the doors slid shut, so did my eyes, and I allowed myself a brief moment to catch my breath and give thanks to the gods above for not only allowing me to get away, but for sparing me from whatever near-death experience I’d narrowly escaped.

As conspicuous as I felt in my bare feet and ruined dress on the ground floor, it was nothing compared to the flare of embarrassment that went through me when someone joined me in the elevator.  A little wisp of a man, close to my height, peered at me from behind oversized glasses.  Dressed in blue scrubs, he could have been anything from laundry staff to a neurosurgeon to my untrained eyes.

“Are you alright?” he asked, more than a little concerned by my appearance.

“Yes, of course.  This isn’t my blood,” I waved off the concern.  Come to think of it, I wasn’t in any pain.  What had the guy said back in the morgue… tissue damage at the neck?  My neck felt fine.  Surreptitiously, my hand snaked up to probe at my neck and felt nothing but smooth skin.  “It’s ah… it was a costume party that got a little out of hand.  You know how it is.”  I gave him my best smile and crazily enough, he bought it.

“I remember those days,” he smiled a little wistfully.  The doors opened on the second floor then and he held them open for me.  “Getting off?”  There was definitely a light of hope in his eyes.  What kind of a weirdo wanted to flirt with a barefoot, bloody wreck of a girl in the middle of the night in a hospital?

“Sorry, not my floor.”  I pushed the button for the third floor, stepping back with a faint smile as he shuffled off.  What I wouldn’t give for a mirror…  Self consciously, I pushed the hair out of my eyes and realized for the first time I wasn’t wearing my glasses.

I wasn’t blind by any means; I could tell the difference between a tube of toothpaste and a tube of anti-itch cream, but I had trouble whenever reading was involved.  Normally when I forgot to put my glasses on, after a few minutes I’d get a light headache until I put them back on again, but I’d been walking around the hospital just fine without them.

Looking at the numbers on the elevator buttons, they were sharp and distinct.  I could clearly read the posted weight limit and even the elevator permit behind grubby plastic.  Maybe it was one of those things where you got hit on the head and it changed your eyesight?  Only I didn’t think I’d hit my head, and since when did the Flintstones logic work anyway?  The night kept getting weirder and weirder.

The elevator doors opened and I stepped out onto the deserted hallway.  I knew my roommate Bridget worked nights up on the third floor in long term care as a ward assistant (a glorified name for an orderly, but I’d learned long ago she didn’t particularly appreciate that label), and I hoped it wouldn’t be too hard to find her without attracting more attention.  Luckily, I didn’t meet a soul, and I spotted her standing at the nurse’s station, head bobbing to Linkin Park blaring from her earbuds.

You’d never think someone like Bridget and I would be friends from looking at us.  Maybe that makes me a little judgmental of appearances, but you have to admit, most people do make snap decisions based on looks.  Paired with her maroon scrubs, she wore chunky, black combat boots that flopped open at the top, a score of black rubber bracelets like Madonna used to wear back in the eighties, and at least three chunky silver necklaces.  Her dark hair was plaited into thick braids that hung down her back, revealing the top of the tattoo on her neck.  I’ve always wanted one, but I could never picture myself as a grandmother with a tattoo.  Who wants to see a cool design get saggy, old, and faded as you age?

Bridget didn’t know how to do subtle with makeup, and I could see the heavy dark eyeliner on her eyelids and deep red ‘vixen’ lips from a mile away.  It was a little surprising that the hospital didn’t care how she altered the dress code to suit her tastes, but when you worked the graveyard shift, things were a little more lax, I supposed.

I guess you could say I’ve always been a little bit classical and she was a little bit rock and roll.  Not that I didn’t want to be rock and roll myself… I did like rock music; I just hadn’t had much opportunity to pursue that kind of lifestyle, not even in college.  But at least I knew who Linkin Park was.  I should get points for that, right?

Making a beeline for the nurse’s desk, I was gratified to find it deserted, except for the two of us.  The entire floor was silent, but for the soft drone and beeps of equipment in the background.  Her head bobbed to the music, casually flipping through a magazine on the counter, completely unaware of my approach until I touched her elbow and she jumped a foot.

“Jesus Christ, what are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?” she gasped, hand flying to cover her heart.  I could practically hear it beating too, thump, thump, thump, it was almost hypnotic.  “Hello?  Earth to Anja…”  She waggled her fingers in front of my face, and I snapped out of it.

“Oh, sorry.  I was just… I’m having the weirdest night.”  Talk about an understatement.  Now that I’d found her, I wasn’t sure where to begin.  It was obvious she had no idea I’d been down in the morgue; hopefully that meant my family was blissfully unaware of that fact as well.

“Ah, it’s a little early for Halloween isn’t it?  What’s with the ensemble?”  Her fingers waved again in the general direction of my outfit.

“That is the least of my worries right now.  Do you think we could sit down and talk for a bit?”  I could see the aversion on her face.  Maybe she thought I was having boyfriend troubles.  Bridget isn’t big on heart to hearts.  “Please?  It’s important.”

“Fine, you don’t have to be so dramatic,” she rolled her eyes, slouching against the counter.

My eyes darted up and down the length of the corridor.  “Can we talk somewhere more private?”  Anyone could come along and spot me at any moment and I still dreaded the questions that would come with it until I had more answers myself.

Another roll of the eyes was given, but she led me into a patient’s room.  “Is this good enough for you?”

I looked at the old man occupying the bed, his eyes watching us with vague interest.  “What about him?”

“Oh, don’t worry about him, he’s deaf as a post.”

“But won’t we keep him awake?”  The idea of barging into his room didn’t sit well with me.

“Old people don’t sleep,” she scoffed as if it was a well known fact.  “Hi, Mr. Gutterman!” she yelled.  “Just ignore us, we’re having a little girl talk, okay?” she nodded and flashed him a thumbs up sign.  The old man gave no indication that he’d heard a single thing she said and Bridget turned her back on him.  “See, we’re fine.  So spill, what’s so important it’s got you out of bed past ten o’clock?”

My tongue darted out to moisten my lips.  “I think… I think I died.”