Bite the Big One!

SHARON KARAA

About the Book

Jennifer Owens had her fair share of troubles, what with being pestered by dead people, her best friend Becky being the worst witch in the history of witchcraft and being stalked by a sex mad octogenarian.  She didn’t think things could get any worse.  But that was before she became the target of a blood-thirsty band of vampires who wanted to protect a secret that only she could unlock, if only she could figure it out what it was!   Now she found herself bang in the middle of a mystery with dead bodies and dead people turning up all over the place, as well as one steaming hot vampire slayer determined to be her knight in shining armour.  But is he real or another one of Becky’s silly spells?  And would they be able to figure out the vampire secret before she became their dinner?

***

To get all the latest news and

details of special discounts

and freebies

Click here to join Sharon Karaa’s Mailing List

Visit Sharon’s Website

Join Sharon on Facebook

Join Sharon on Twitter

Dedication

To Johnny Depp, Russell Brand, Nicholas Cage, and any other man who had the temerity to wear leather pants.  The women of the world salute you.

And to Jack Nicholson.  Not the actor, exactly, but the guy he played in ‘As Good as It Gets’.  Just because…

Contents

About the Book

Dedication

Contents

1 – Look Who’s Talking

2 – Sexy in the City

3 – Man on the Run

4 – Must Love Dogs

5 – We Are Family

6 – We Don’t Need Another Hero

7 – Under Attack

8 – Little White Lies

9 – You Only Die Twice

10 – Bad Boys

11 – After Dark

12 – Running for Home

13 – Sleeping Beauty

14 – Dinner with Drac

15 – Keep On Running

16 – A Good Year For The Roses

17 – Just A Walk In The Park

Dear reader….

1 - Something spooky this way comes

Books by Sharon Karaa

About the Author

Copyright

1 – Look Who’s Talking

Jen

“This is the last straw, Becky McAllister, the LAST straw!  You get your arse over here and undo whatever it was you did this time or I swear to you, I will shave my head and join a Buddhist colony!”

“Chill!   I’ll be over as fast as I can, I promise!  In the meantime, just…”

“Just what, buy him elocution lessons?”

“No, stupid, just don’t let him out in public!”

I gritted my teeth in frustration, then slammed the phone into the cradle and turned to glare at Monty.

“Jeeze you’re highly strung.  All I said was you needed to get laid.”

My eyeballs felt as though they might explode in my head and he backed up a step in fear as I glared at him.

“You are not going anywhere until she gets here,” I snapped.

“I can’t wait that long, you know I can’t,” he replied, a shocked expression on his face.

“Well, you should have thought of that before you started letting your mouth go, then, shouldn’t you?”

I stormed out of the living room and into the kitchen, pulling the fridge door open with such force, a jar of strawberry jam fell out and smashed on to the tiles in front of my feet.  I looked down at the mess and decided that right now, my need for alcohol was greater than my need to clean it up.  I reached into the fridge, grabbing a bottle of White Zinfandel from the top shelf then slammed the door shut, unscrewing the cap and drinking heavily straight from the bottle.  I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand as the cold wine hit my stomach, then I turned around to see Monty looking at the spilled jam with lust in his eyes.

“Don’t even dare,” I said, grabbing a towel and throwing it over the mess.  I threw the towel and its contents into the bin, then filled the mop bucket with disinfectant and washed the rest of the jam away.  He just sat there, watching me with a sad expression on his face.

“It’s for your own good.  Remember last time?”

He whimpered sadly as I cleaned out the mop and stored it back in the cupboard.

“I think you might want to get that out again,” he said, and I turned to see a pool of liquid in front of the door.

“Monty!” I sighed in frustration.

“It wasn’t my fault.  I warned you,” he huffed.

A key in the door announced the arrival of Becky.  I turned just as she stuck her head around the kitchen door with a tentative smile on her face.  She was worried on two counts; first and foremost she was in trouble, and secondly, she never knew who she would run into when she came over.  Becky wasn’t overly fond of my visitors and while she had a key, she would only ever use it when I was home, which sort of defeated the objective.

I glared at her.  Becky McAllister.  Sex shop sales-woman of the month seven times running, and my best friend.  Oh, and did I mention, she’s a witch?

“I’m here,” she said, still grinning, and then turned to see Monty looking sorry for himself.

“Come on boy, come to aunty Becky!”

Her heels clattered across the tiles as she ran across the kitchen to grab Monty in an arm lock and rub the fur on his neck.  He slobbered all over her, jumping up and down in excitement, his little pink tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth.

Monty Owens.  Age three and a half, one hundred percent Jack Russell and one hundred percent pain in the arse.

“Talk to me, my boy.  Tell aunty Becky she’s the best aunty in the whole wide world,” she said cuddling him.  I shook my head in disgust; she spoke to him like he was a baby.

“Oh yes, aunty Becky, you’re definitely the best.  Better than the bitch from hell over there.  I think she’s pre-menstrual.  Never mind, did you bring me a chew stick?”  He nuzzled at her pockets and tried to sniff out his treat.

Becky squealed with delight, cuddling him tight.  “You’re right, he can talk!” she said, still laughing.  She turned to look at Monty and scratched him behind his ears.  I glared at him in disgust.

“Awe sorry smoochikins, I didn’t know I was coming over today so I haven’t brought any treats.”

Monty whined pathetically and made with the big, sad eyes as Becky laughed and scrubbed his head.

“Next time, I’ll bring two, how’s that?”

Monty recovered quickly and jumped up at her, licking her face.

When it became apparent their little love-fest wasn’t going to end any time soon, I threw the mop across the floor and it came to rest alongside her.

“When you two have finished slobbering all over each other, you can clean the bloody mess up.”

Becky ignored me and continued rolling around the floor with Monty.  It would serve her right if she landed in it.

***

“It wasn’t meant to make him talk, it was meant to make him friendly with the nice men who walk their dogs every day,” she said as she finished off the dregs of her coffee and looking at me as though it all made perfect sense.

“What the hell for?  Are you trying to get him shagged as well?” I glared at her, dumbfounded.

“Don’t be stupid.  I read in Cosmo… or it might have been Marie Claire… I can’t remember, anyways, one really popular women’s magazine that two out of ten women met their husbands while walking the dog.  He’s an asset we should be using.”

I slammed myself down into a chair and covered my face with my hands.  This was just the latest in a series of escapades Becky had gotten us into in her quest to solve my little problem.  I wasn’t sure how much more I could take before I throttled her.

I’d got drunk one night and admitted I’d never had an orgasm.  It had been the single, biggest mistake of my life and if there was a moment in time that you could go back and change something, that would be mine.  Since telling her, I’d suffered a wide and varied range of embarrassing incidents as Becky tried to use her craft to solve my problem.  I told you she was a witch.  I didn’t tell you she was the worst witch in the history of witchcraft.   When I had calmed down enough not to want to throttle her, I dropped my hands from my face and caught the puzzled expression in her eyes.

“Becky, just tell me you can reverse it.  I don’t think I can cope with one more thing in my house talking to me.”

“Well… theoretically, I should be able to reverse it…,” Becky started, tapping a beautifully shaped purple nail against her chin.

“Do not say ‘should’.  Say ‘absolutely’ or ‘in a jiffy’.  Do not tell me you can’t reverse this, otherwise you are taking him for his walks every day.”

“Well it’s definitely doable, but there’s an ingredient I’ve run out of that I need to order online.”  She dropped her hand to the table and looked at me.  “It might take a day or two to get here, can you cope that long?”  Her hazel eyes watered while her mouth tried desperately to hold in the laughter I could see bubbling to the surface.

“This is so not funny.  How the hell can I take him out like that?  What if he starts talking to the neighbours?  He’s not exactly polite in mixed company at the best of times!” I snapped.

“I don’t know, use your imagination. Pretend you’re a ventriloquist!”  Her eyes lit up as an idea came to her.  “Hey, we could make a killing on the circuit, fancy it?”

She dodged just in time and the towel went sailing over her head as she laughed.

She stood up and moved to pick up the bag and coat that she’d dropped in her haste to get to Monty.  “Hey, are you coming now or what?  Lunch break is almost over and if we don’t get back in time, you know Nobby’ll dock our wages.”

Nobby was the manager where we worked.  With a nickname like that, it was rather unfortunate he chosen to work in a sex toy shop.   He was a weasel of a man who was absolutely fixated with Becky.  Who wouldn’t be?  She was a red haired vixen with a killer bod, which was another reason she consistently wins salesperson of the month.  The men loved her.  And I strongly suspected some of the women did too.

***

We rushed in the door with a minute to spare and I clocked Nobby staring at his watch, disappointed.  He loved Becky.  Me?  Not so much.  In fact, I’d go so far as to say he loathed me, and why he ever agreed to hire me in the first place was one of life’s little mysteries.  Perhaps he thought it would endear him to Becky, who knows, but the man took joy in making my life a living hell.  If I didn’t need the money so badly, I would have told him to shove his job where the sun doesn’t shine.  Unfortunately, aspiring young writers still need to eat.  And pay rent.  And feed Monty.  So I was stuck here, for now.

Becky smiled widely at the weasel as she unbuttoned her coat, thrusting her breasts out as she struggled to shrug it off her shoulders.  It was deliberate, I was sure of it.

“All present and accounted for Mr. Boss Man,” she shouted across the store, then winked at him.

He smiled at Becky, then turned to me.  He glared at me as we rushed to the back room to deposit our belongings.  I blew him a kiss just to piss him off and he turned his back.  Becky dropped her coat and bag the minute we were through the door and I bent to pick them up and put them on a peg.  Becky was a complete slob.  I shucked off my own coat as Becky adjusted her breasts for maximum effect and pulled her top down slightly to reveal more cleavage.

“What?  Sex sells!” she said, smiling as she caught me looking at her.

I rolled my eyes and dived back out to help serve the influx of customers we always seemed to have since Becky and I had taken up positions there.  I guess that sort of proved her point as none of it was down to me, it was all Becky.  Another one of her misfires.  She’d cast a spell on a well-known brand of vibrator and had turned it into the sex toy equivalent of Robo-Cop.  Once it had you in its sights, it nailed you. It was so powerful the local council were considering replacing their pneumatic drills with them.  Of course, she hadn’t intended to convert the entire brand; she was only aiming for one.  For me.  Miss Never Had An Orgasm.  Result?  Inundated with shoppers.  Did I buy one?  Not on your life.  If I get there, it will be because of natural causes, not some souped-up piece of plastic.  Besides, you never knew what the side effects were with Becky’s spells.  I wouldn’t be surprised to find half the town’s women-folk suddenly came down with lock-jaw.  Honestly, you just never knew.

The craziness calmed down by mid-afternoon and we were just putting the kettle on for a well-deserved break when my favourite shopper came in.  And by favourite, I mean crazy stalker.  I heard the bell tinkle above the door and I just knew.  I felt it in my bones, as my gran always says.  I stuck my head round the corner of the door and there she was, scanning the shop floor, looking for me.  I could hide, but it was pointless.  She’d mooch about out there, giving all the sales assistants a hard time until I showed up.  I groaned.

“Hi Mabel,” I shouted to attract her attention, a rictus grin on my face.  Mabel was ninety, if she was a day, and I sincerely hoped the purchases she made, on an extremely regular basis, weren’t for her.  Oh she claimed they were, but really?  She’d even taken Robo-Cop, and she was still walking.  Becky and I had bets on it; I reckoned secret shopper, Becky reckoned horny old devil, on the basis that a healthy sex life led to longevity.

Mabel turned to me, smiling and her eyes lighting up.  About five feet tall, she couldn’t weigh more than eighty pounds wet through.  In fact I was fairly convinced the fake fur coat she wore was heavier than she was.

“Jennifer, darling girl, do come out of there and help me choose something nice for Frederick,” she said, waving me out.  We assumed Frederick was her husband.  We’d never met him.  I don’t think I would have been able to keep a straight face if we did.

I made my way across the store to where she stood, holding out a white negligee with lace-up bodice.

“Do you do this in red?” she asked as I reached her.

“Mabel; red?  With your hair colour?”  Her hair was what could only be described as electric blue.  All she needed was a white ribbon tied around her waist, and she’d look like a union jack.

“What about trying it in black?” I asked, holding one up for her inspection.

“Oh no, dear, that won’t do at all,” she replied, pursing her ruby-red lips.  “When you get to my age, you’re wearing black more than you should, anyway.  Besides, black makes me look so washed out.”

I thumbed through the racks and picked up a pink version.  “How about this?”

“I’m not five, dear.”

Becky came up behind me holding a blue version that completely matched Mabel’s hair.  A colour I knew we didn’t stock.  I narrowed my eyes at her suspiciously.

“Here you go Mabel; this one’s just the job.”  Becky smiled her winning smile.  It worked on everyone but Mabel which was another of life’s great mysteries.  Everyone was drawn to Becky.  She was friendly, cute and funny, while me?  I was surly and didn’t relate well to people.  Why Mabel had attached herself to me was beyond me.

Mabel looked at her in disgust, then snatched the article of clothing out of Becky’s hands and turned her back on her.

“Jennifer, how about some more of that nice lubricant?  You know?  The cherry flavoured one you sold me the last time?” She marched across the other side of the store and I turned to Becky, my shoulders sagging.

“Don’t let her monopolise you,” Becky whispered, as I grimaced and followed her.  When I caught her up, she was balancing precariously, one foot on the edge of the first shelf, and reaching up for the lube.  What with the high heels and her age, I was seriously worried she was going to land on her arse and end up in hospital.  I grabbed a tube of ‘Smooth as Silk’ from the top shelf before she could do herself an injury and handed it to her.

“Anything else I can get you today?” I asked her as I took her elbow and helped her back down.

She smiled up at me.  “I think I’m done for now,” she replied, fishing in her bag for her purse and made her way blindly to the counter as shoppers kindly moved out of her way before she barrelled into them.  One of these days she was going to go flying into one of the displays.  I rolled my eyes and followed her, going behind the counter to ring up her purchases.

“Any plans for tonight?” she asked as I folded her negligee.

“We’re going out to Sin City tonight, Mabel. You know that new nightclub on Grey Street?  We’re meeting some friends.  Fancy coming?” said Becky as she leaned on the counter, sucking a lolly.  She had a bucket load of them; they were her props as she liked to call them.  Based on the same principal as you shouldn’t shop for food when you’re hungry, Becky went out of her way to tantalise our customers.  To her credit, it worked.  With everyone except Mabel, that is.

Mabel glared at her then turned to me, smiling sweetly and showing a dash of red lipstick she’d managed to get on her teeth.

“Night clubs really aren’t my thing, dear.  You know me, I like to be in bed by eight, if you catch my drift.”  She winked at me lewdly as I hurried to ram the purchases into the bag.

“That’ll be thirty five pounds in total, Mabel,” I said, handing her the bag.

She handed over the money, making sure she made contact with my hand and holding on to the bank notes slightly longer than was necessary.  A shiver went up my spine as I pulled hard to take the money from her.  She smiled at me as I looked at her, feeling the colour drain from my face.  I finally managed to break free, then turned to the till to ring in the purchases as fast as I could, handing across the receipt by the very corner.

“Thank you dear, do enjoy yourself tonight, won’t you?” she said as she turned and made her way unsteadily out of the door, rocking back and forth on her high heels like a sailor in high winds.

Becky and I stared after her, Becky still sucking viciously on her treat.  She pulled her lolly from her mouth and it made a popping sound.  “Now that was weird,” she said, watching as Mabel did a two-step with a customer trying to make her way in.  “Do you think she might be gay?”

I pushed her elbow off the counter and she almost smacked herself in the face with the lolly as she laughed at me.

***

“I don’t know why you need all that cack on your face anyway,” said Monty, watching me as I applied my lipstick, “… and that dress is far too short.”

I turned and pointed the lipstick at him.  “Listen, buster, you’re a dog; things work differently in the human world so keep your opinions to yourself.”

“Yeah well, if you took a leaf out of my book, your life would be a lot less complicated.  All this lovey-dovey mush?  Waste of time.  Sniff the crotch.  You can tell straight away if she’s up for it.  None of this buying flowers and three date bullshit!”

I turned in my chair to look at him, half laughing and half confused.  “That’s a sure fire way to get myself arrested.  And how do you know about three dates?”

“I’m a dog, not a dunce.”  He huffed and waddled out of the room.

I blanched as I realised he’d probably picked up on girly conversations I’d had with Becky.  Did that mean he knew about the Big O crisis?  I felt queasy.    I made a mental note not to have personal conversations in front of him anymore.

I turned back to the mirror and spritzed myself with perfume, gazing critically at my reflection.  Perhaps he was right; maybe I was wearing too much make-up.  Truth be told, I wasn’t much into the girly stuff and didn’t wear it on a regular basis.  Still, no time to worry about it now, Becky would be here any minute.

I stood up and smoothed down the front of my black mini dress, trying to flatten out the little tummy I seemed to be getting lately.  I had to knock it off with the chocolate, or start jogging again. I tried sucking it in.  It went from a molehill to a smaller molehill but it was still there. I whipped the dress off and pulled a body shaper out of the drawer.  Late or not, I wasn’t going out looking like I was five months’ pregnant.

I struggled to pull the shaper over one foot, and then almost landed on my arse trying to get the other foot in the correct whole.  I spent another five minutes trying to shuck the bloody thing up over my hips.  Just getting into the thing was like a full blown workout at the gym and I could feel sweat starting to bead between my breasts.

I’d got one arm in and the strap over my shoulder when the phone rang.  Bloody typical.  I hobbled over to the bedside table and groaned when I caught sight of the caller ID.

“Hi Mum,” I said as I rammed the phone between my head and my shoulder, trying desperately to pull the other strap up my arm.  My boobs were hanging out of the front and I repositioned myself as Mum started speaking.  I couldn’t breathe in the bloody thing.

“Jen, hi baby, just thought I’d catch up with you and make sure you’re coming for tea tomorrow.”

Even at twenty six, Mum still insisted on one meal a week with the entire family.  And I mean the entire family.  It wasn’t enough that myself and my three older brothers all came over, she had to invite my aunt and her brood as well.  I wondered briefly if there was any chance of my catching a life-threatening disease between now and then and realised it was highly improbable.  I just couldn’t catch a break.

“I’ll be there,” I replied with false cheerfulness.  “You know how I love your home cooking, Mum, I wouldn’t miss it!”  I put my hand over the mouthpiece and did a silent scream.

“Oh good, darling.  There’s a favour I need to ask you, though.  Would you mind taking me shopping tomorrow?  Your father has an important business meeting to attend.”

Something in her voice put me on alert, even while I silently screamed again.

“Sure Mum, no problem.  Is everything ok?”

There was silence for a full minute.

“I’ll tell you about it tomorrow, sweetheart.  It’s nothing for you to worry yourself about now.”

I tried to sit down on the bed and realised that my body wouldn’t bend.  I gave it up as a bad job.

“Mum, if there’s anything wrong, you can tell me,” I said softly.

“No, darling, it can wait.  Will Becky be coming with you tomorrow?” she asked.

“Would you rather we were alone?” I asked, really worried now.

“No, no!  Bring Becky.  She can come shopping too if she wants to.”

I snorted.  Not a chance, even if I paid her.  “Ok then.  What time do you want to go shopping?” I asked, silently praying she’d say about 11 o'clock.  I liked my lie-ins on Saturdays.

“About nine o'clock ok for you?” she asked.  I groaned.

“Sure, no problem,” I said, again with false cheer.

“Ok, darling, I’ll see you then.  I’ve got to go now; your father wants his dinner.  See you tomorrow, love you!”

And with that she rang off, and I was left looking at the receiver.  I wasn’t used to hearing Mum worried about anything.  Usually, she was a bit of a battle-axe.

“Cooeee!” shouted Beth as her heels clattered across the hall and into the kitchen.  Damn, I was late.

I threw down the phone, pulling the dress over my head as quickly as I could before walking like a sailor down the stairs.  The legs still wouldn’t bend at the hip and I’m sure I must have looked like a Michael Jackson zombie in the Thriller video.  I hoped this thing loosened up as I wore it or I would be looking a complete dork tonight.

I walked into the kitchen to find Becky and Monty cavorting on the floor.

“You’ll get covered in dog hair,” I warned as I tried to push my feet into a pair of black pumps without falling over.

“Ah, you’re worth it aren’t you, schnookums?” she said to Monty, rubbing his tummy.

Monty laughed as she tickled him, then sprang up on to his paws.  “If you’re leaving me home alone, the least you can do is leave the TV on,” he said to me.

Monty was a television addict even before he could talk, but now, the fact that he obviously could understand what was going on worried me.

“Absolutely not,” I said, looking at him.  “You won’t turn it off at the nine pm watershed, how on earth do I know what you’ll be watching?”

He rolled his eyes and looked at me.  “I’m three and a half.  In your years that makes me twenty-four years old.  I’m old enough to watch anything I want,” he replied.

“He’s right, you know,” Becky chipped in. I huffed and made my way into the living room, catching the sly wink between the two of them.  BBC1 should be safe enough, I suppose.

2 – Sexy in the City

I sat at the table, wondering why on earth I’d agreed to come.  The place smelled of stale sweat and some weird dance track was blasting out of the speakers, echoing right through me.  I had to agree with Mabel.  Night clubs weren’t really my thing either.

Becky came back from the bar carrying two large glasses of vodka and orange and handed one across to me.  She looked stunning, as usual.  She was wearing a sexy red dress with thin straps running over her tanned shoulders.  It hugged her figure to just above her knees and showed off her curves to perfection.  A halo of red, curly hair shrouded her heart-shaped face.

“Cheer up, misery guts, you’re scaring away all the talent,” she laughed, as I snatched at the drink.

“What talent?” I asked sarcastically, as I downed half a glass in one go.

“Hey, take it easy with that,” she said, as I scrunched up my nose in disgust.

“This is definitely vodka, right?” I looked at the glass suspiciously.

“Yeah, but I think it’s the cheap stuff they hide under the counter,” Becky replied, turning her head to scan the bar.

“It’s not very busy tonight,” I noted, following her gaze.  There were only a few dozen or so people milling about and for a Saturday evening, it didn’t bode well.

“It’s still early,” Becky replied, turning to me and smiling.  A tingle in my tummy told me the vodka had started to work its magic, and I leaned back into the seat watching the strobe lighting.

Becky took a sip of her drink and then set the glass down on the table.  “Tonight’s the night, Jen.  I can feel it in my bones,” she said, grinning evilly at me.

“It most certainly is not.  I am not taking a stranger home with me.”

She tutted at me as she flicked her hair over her shoulder.  “You are such a prude, do you know that?”

“You have heard of AIDs, right?” I replied, taking another drink of vodka.

“You have heard of condoms?” she replied.

“I don’t want a one night stand, Becky.  And I haven’t got the time or patience for a full blown relationship.”

She rolled her eyes.   “Monty’s right.  You need to get laid.”

“There’s more to life that sex,” I snapped, taking another drink of vodka.

“Spoken like a woman who’s never had an orgasm!”

I sighed.  We’d had this argument so many times, I was tired of it.  There was no stopping her.  I chose to ignore her and looked around the room again.

“So what would your ideal man be like?” Becky said, sitting forward on her seat.

I looked at her in surprise.  “Oh no, Becky McAllister!  I start telling you that and God knows who will turn up at the table.”

She grinned and sat back, taking a sip of her drink, then looked around the room herself.  “Well, you haven’t exactly got the cream of the crop to choose from in here, have you?” she said, laughing.  Then she got a faraway look in her eye.  “If I could have anyone I wanted, he would be tall, well at least taller than me, with dark hair, a mischievous smile, a great sense of humour and he would treat me like a princess.  And he’d look like Channing Tatum, obviously.”

“You need to stop worrying about me so much and work on your own love life.  And I don’t think Channing Tatum would be seen dead in here, do you?”

She turned to me and grinned.  “Statistically speaking, only two percent of people meet their partners in a bar.”

“So does that mean I’m off the hook?”

“Only if you tell me what your perfect man would be like.”  Her hazel eyes twinkled at me.

“Becky, do you honestly take me for a fool?  I know what you’re up to.  I tell you about my perfect man, you do your hocus pocus and suddenly he appears in front of me all glassy eyed and mind fucked, thinking he’s in love.”

“He doesn’t need to be in love with you to fuck you senseless,” Becky grinned.

“Becky McAllister, how many more times?  I am not interested in mindless sex!”

“OK, so we go with the love stuff as well, and make him a dynamo in the bedroom,” she grinned again.

“Have you heard yourself?” I asked, incredulous.

Becky tutted.  “What’s so wrong with that?  He’d be happy, you’d be happy.  No harm, no foul.”

“There’s a little thing called free will, Becky.  I kind of value mine and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in that.  Besides that, your spells have a habit of misfiring.  What if I didn’t fall in love with him and the poor sod was left pining after me?”

Becky glared at me.  “They don’t all go wrong, you know!”

“Oh?  When was the last time you got it right?”

Becky slumped back in her chair, then sprang up and looked at me triumphantly.  “Your shower.”

“What?  Are you kidding me?  It molests anyone who gets in there!”

“Yeah, but it’s pretty damn groovy though, don’t you think?”  She winked at me.

“I wouldn’t know, I refuse to use it until you undo the spell,” I replied, arching an eyebrow at her.

She huffed again.  “I’m not giving up until you answer my question.”

I thought about it for a moment.  “My perfect man is a woman, Becky.  There, it’s finally out, wow do I feel better.”

Becky’s eyes were like saucers as she looked at me.  “Really?”

“No, stupid, but I’m not giving you an e-fit so you can twiddle your magic wand and some poor fool suddenly turns into a lovesick zombie.”

Becky slumped back into her chair.  “You’re no fun, do you know that?” she pouted.  She was bringing out the big guns.  Cajoling, I could handle.  Screaming arguments, no problem.  A full blown huff?  Not so much.  I’d rather eat cat litter.  I sighed.

“He’d be sexy as hell, obviously,” I said finally, closing my eyes as if in thought, “… and a real, live, honest to goodness hero.”  I smiled.

“Jen, you are not getting off the hook that easily.  Spit. It. Out!”

I sighed and rolled my eyes.

“Tough, he can take care of himself, but great with kids, make me laugh, love dogs and be fabulously sexy and charming.” I opened one eye and looked at her.  That was fairly innocuous.  She couldn’t do much with that, I was sure.

She threw herself back in the chair and smiled.  “What would he look like, Jen?”

She wasn’t going to give up.  I closed my eyes again and conjured up the image of my perfect man.  Dark hair, exactly two inches taller than my five foot nine, being the perfect height for kissing, brown eyes, built but not too much, highly intelligent, white collar job that he would obviously be fabulous at; the silent but deadly type.  Imagine Antonio Banderas in a Tuxedo.  Wow.

“He’d be blonde…”

She turned in her seat to face me and I could see the sparkle in her eye as she mentally made notes.

“… muscles to die for…”

“Yes, go on,” she said, getting excited now.

“… and he’d have a big, fat star on his forehead so I’d know you’d conjured him up.” I laughed at the startled expression on her face.

She turned sideways in her seat and glared.  I took another drink and looked at my glass suspiciously.

“You swear you didn’t put anything in this?  It seems really strong.”

“Absolutely not,” she said, taking a drink from her own glass and successfully hiding her face.

A niggle started to form in the back of my mind but before it could take shape as a coherent thought, two men came across and sat down at the table.

“Hey girls, hope you don’t mind if we join you.”

It wasn’t a question.  I glared at him, annoyed, and then cast my eyes over the three empty tables around us, hoping he would take the hint.

The man caught my look and leaned in.  “Yeah, I know there’s lots of space but this table looks to have the hottest women in here sitting at it.”

Becky intervened before I could throw what remained of my drink at him, sticking her hand out for him to shake.

“Hi, I’m Becky and this is Jen,” she said, indicating me with her head.  The man she was talking to was fairly attractive but not enough that you would look twice.  He had a false smile plastered across his face and his eyes screamed, ‘We’re in with a chance’, as he took her hand.

“Hi Becky, I’m Gerald,” he replied.  Well there’s a name for a hero, if ever I heard one, I thought.  Right up there with Harold or Donald.  I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as he clocked Becky’s cleavage before turning to me.

“And this is David,” he continued, indicating his friend, as though making me an offering.

David looked about as uncomfortable as I was as he took a seat and sat there, looking at his pint.  Slim built and obviously shy, I could tell from his demeanour he wasn’t into picking up women in bars.

Becky offered her hand and he took it as Gerald pushed his hand in front of me.  I just looked at it until he finally got the message and dropped his arm.

“So where are you two pretty girls from?” asked Gerald, his eyes now on my cleavage.  I groaned inwardly, seeing the night ahead clearly in my mind’s eye.

“They can’t actually answer you; would you like me to act as translator?” I asked.

He looked at me confused.  I looked at his crotch then back up again.

He laughed, and I noticed a piece of something dark stuck in his teeth.  Oh, joy.

“Sorry, they’re just so…” he made a twisting motion with his cupped hands as he continued to stare lasciviously as my chest.

“They’re not dials on a fucking radio, they’re breasts,” I snapped.

Becky slapped a hand over my mouth.

“Listen, Gerald, if you want to talk, that’s great, it’s always nice to meet new people.  If you’re looking for more than that, you came to the wrong table.”

He looked stunned for a moment, as though he couldn’t believe we were really rejecting him.  Finally, he stood up and picked up his drink.

“No problem.  I like my women with bigger tits anyway,” he said, nastily.

Becky’s grip tightened as she pushed me back down into my chair.  David stood up to follow, then turned to me.

“You know, I think it actually was nice to meet you,” he said, smiling, then walked away after his friend.

Becky groaned and threw herself down on the table.  “And the phantom menace strikes again.  You should write a book about how to lose friends and be unpopular.  You’re a natural!”

“Sorry Becky, but did you really want to spend the rest of the evening talking to someone who wants to talk to your breasts?”

“Yes!” she replied, hands on her hips.

I slugged back another mouthful of vodka, then went to stand my drink down on the table.  I missed, watching in amazement as it smashed on the floor and perfectly spherical little drops of orange flew into the air and seemed to hang there for a few seconds before falling gently onto the floor.

“What the hell has gotten into you?” retorted Becky, snatching up her bag to prevent it getting soaked.

“No idea, lovely, but I suspect it’s the vodka.  I will make haste immediately to the publican and get us both another one, just in case it wears off,” I said, struggling to stand.  What with the body shaper, it had taken a full three minutes to sit, so this wasn’t going to be quick.

Becky pushed me back into my seat.  “No way.  You sit there.  I’ll get you some water.”

“Vodka…” I demanded, folding my arms in front of me like a petulant child.  “… and make it a double.”

She glared at me, her hazel eyes screaming her annoyance.

“I’m absolutely fine, honest.  It just slipped. I’m not drunk,” I said.  To be fair, I sounded reasonably sober but the room, while perhaps not in a full spin, was definitely tilting slightly.

Becky gave me a look that said she was giving me the benefit of the doubt, then she grabbed her purse and made her way back to the bar.

I sat back in the chair and waited.  Becky had been right, the place was filling up quickly now, and I suddenly felt uncomfortably warm with the number of bodies in the room.  In fact, I wasn’t just uncomfortably warm, I was hot.  Too hot. I stood up and grabbed the hem of my dress.  If I could just take it off, I was sure I’d feel a lot better.  The room swayed again and I giggled as I fell backwards and landed back in my chair.  Perhaps taking off my dress in a room full of strangers wasn’t the best idea I’d had tonight.  Perhaps I should do it in the ladies’.

I looked around for Becky but she was engaged in a conversation with a very tall, dark haired man at the bar.  Hadn’t she said that was her ideal type?  I’d probably be back before she was.  I pushed my legs out straight in front of me, then used the table to pull myself upright.  Damn body shapers.  I made my way across the dance floor, swaying gently to the music and looking up at the lights as I went.  They were really amazing, moving around in a swirl and changing colours.  I bumped into someone and almost landed on my arse as a hand came out to steady me.

“Hey there, sweetheart,” said a masculine voice.  “Do you want to dance?” he asked, trying to twirl me around.  My stomach heaved and I pushed him away, then turned to continue finding the ladies’.

I had only gone about three steps when another meaty wall of muscle stood in my way.  I looked up into a pair of blue eyes.

“I’ve lost my virginity.  Can I have yours?”

I looked at him, horrified.  Admittedly he was sexy, but this guy had to be as dumb as a box of frogs.

“You ever get anywhere with that line?” I asked, frowning, as I counted not two but three eyes.  That wouldn’t help his chances of getting laid.  I pulled back a little until he came into focus.  Thankfully, the third eye disappeared.

He smiled at me.  “There’s always a first time.”

I pushed past him, almost going over on my ankle.  I hadn’t gone three more steps before I was once again propositioned by another idiot and suddenly the penny dropped.  I gasped and looked across to the bar and Becky.  She had slipped something in my drink!  Whatever it was, it was like the scent cats get when they’re in heat.  I looked about me as more men seemed to be making their way toward me.  I had to get out of here and quick.  What the bloody hell did Becky think she was playing at?

I turned on my heels and as fast as my body shaper would allow, legged it for the exit, breathing a sigh of relief as I hit the fresh air.  It was short lived.  Whatever Becky had put in my drink had my world on its axis and I felt as though I’d downed the entire contents of the bar.  I needed to get home, and fast.

I hobbled along the back lane until I came out on the main street, then hailed a taxi.  Miraculously, one pulled up right in front of me.  I guess it was still early.  Normally, you had to queue for two hours.

I pulled open the door and climbed into the back seat.  To my surprise, a sexy dark haired man was sitting beside me.

“Well, hello.  Are you going somewhere?”

Amazing accent, I noted, as he smiled at me.  And amazing eyes.  I almost swooned.  “Excuse me, but I do believe I spotted this taxi first,” I said, politely.

“I think you’ll find this isn’t a taxi,” he said, his brown eyes twinkling at me.

I looked at him, confused.  It seemed to take my brain an age to process what he was saying, then the penny finally dropped.  “Oh!  I’m so sorry,” I said, turning to open the door to make a hasty retreat.

“Wait,” he said, taking hold of my arm.  “I’ll gladly get my driver to drop you off if you agree to go out on a date with me this weekend.”

Jesus H. Christ, the allure was working its magic.  Bloody fucking Becky and her stupid quest.

“Thanks, but no thanks,” I smiled at him as I pulled the door open, hoping to everything holy he wouldn’t watch my ungraceful exit.  I’d never cracked getting in and out of cars with the practised ease of a Hollywood star; I always sort of fell out or banged my head on the roof and wearing this bloody body shaper wasn’t going to make this any easier.  I took a deep breath, then pushed both of my legs out of the open door, holding on to the roof of the car and pulling myself upright.  I slammed the door behind me and smiled, grateful that I hadn’t made a bigger fool of myself.  I turned to go in search of a taxi to find the man standing in front of me, grinning.  I looked back at the car, shocked.  How on earth did he manage to move so quickly!

“Could we start again?  Please, let me introduce myself. My name is Emanuel Baptiste.  And you are?”   He pushed his hand out in greeting and I looked at him in a stupor, captivated by his smile.

His teeth were sparkling white, just like you see on those toothpaste adverts.  I watched in fascination, waiting for the ‘ting!’

It didn’t come.  Then I realised I hadn’t responded to his question.

“Jennifer. Jennifer Owens,” I said, looking up and falling under the spell of his beautiful brown eyes.  No, not brown, red.  No, brown, definitely brown.  Wow what the hell was going on here?

“Well, Jennifer Owens, it is a pleasure to meet you,” he replied, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb.  And the pleasure was all mine, I was sure of it.  I needed a change of underwear, badly.

“Now we’ve been formally introduced, how about you allow me the pleasure of having my driver escort you safely home?”

“No, really, I….” I looked into his eyes. The irises seemed to grow, and I felt myself drawn into their depths.  Brown like melted chocolate.  Yes, definitely brown.

“Well, if you’re sure it’s not too much trouble,” I found myself saying.  Tomorrow, I’d be shocked at the fact that I’d accepted a lift from a stranger.  Right now, if he’d told me to mount the hood, I think I would have.  My body tingled all over and I found myself wondering what it would be like to feel his naked body pressed against mine.

His full red lips curved into a smile. “Absolutely no trouble at all, I assure you.  My details are on the card,” he said as I continued to stare at him.  His fingers left mine, and I looked down at the business card he’d placed there, suddenly confused.

“If you do ever find yourself in need of a chaperone to dinner, please call me,” he said, smiling again as I looked up at him.

I looked down at the card again, still not entirely convinced it was there and I wasn’t dreaming this. Let’s face it, who says chaperone in this day and age?

“Well… I….” I looked up, and he was gone.  I turned and the driver was standing with the rear door open, waiting for me to get in.  On auto-pilot, I fell into the back of the car and he closed the door behind me.  The driver pulled away from the club just as Becky came running out, looking for me, but we were going too fast for me to get her attention.

Ah well, I lay my head back on the sumptuous leather and closed my eyes, happy thoughts fighting for my attention and before I knew it, I must have dropped off.

***

“We’re here, Miss.”

I opened my eyes with a start.

“Where?” I asked, looking at the speaker, confused.  Who was he?  Where was I?

“Your home, Miss,” he replied as he stepped out of the car and opened the door for me.  A pair of laughing brown eyes appeared in my mind’s eye, and I remembered.  The stranger in the car.  The driver taking me home.

I stepped out of the car and looked about.  Sure enough, we were outside my house.  The crazy mind fog that had hung over me since meeting the man in the car seemed to be lifting and I looked up at my home. I’d left the curtains open in the living room and the light was on.  Damn, the entire street could see straight in.

“Thank you,” I said, as the driver climbed back into his seat and took off without another word.  Well, that was rude, I thought.  The next thing to cross my mind was how on earth did he know where I lived?  I guess I must have told him but I honestly couldn’t remember doing it.  I shook my head, confused again.

As I pushed open the door, Monty came pounding along the hall.  “Thank God you’re back.  There’s someone in your bedroom and they’re pitching a fit up there,” he said, running back up the hall and bounding up the stairs.

I heard a crash above me and ran after Monty.

I pulled open the bedroom door to see my room in a shambles, the bedclothes were strewn across the room and the picture of my Mum and Dad lay smashed at my feet.  My lamps were both on the floor and my wardrobe doors both hung open, the clothes in piles on the floor.  I looked about, confused, and then I heard glass smashing in the bathroom and turned, running towards the noise.

I pulled open the bathroom door just in time to see a man, about six feet tall with dark hair, ripping the shower curtain from the pole.  He turned at hearing me open the door and grinned at me, evil in his eyes and a filthy black aura surrounding him.

“Who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my house?” I snapped.

“So it’s true,” he said, still smiling and walking towards me.  I held my ground.  No way was I being intimidated by a bloody ghost.

“You can see me,” he said, coming to a stop directly in front of me.

“Of course I can see you, what the fuck do you want?” I demanded holding on to the door as Monty tried desperately to get into the room, snarling and barking for all he was worth.  After all this time, he still hadn’t figured out that he couldn’t protect me from spirits.  I pushed him out and closed the door.

The spirit took a step towards me and the drop in temperature brought goose bumps to my arms.

“I need you to help me.”

“And you thought smashing my house up would get me to do that?” I snapped, incredulous as I walked past him to pick up the shower curtain.

“You will help me,” he demanded, taking a step towards me, an ugly sneer on his face.

I raised a hand and a white light emitted from my palm, sending him back to the spirit world or where-ever the hell else he came from.  I still wasn’t sure how it worked.  Spirits weren’t exactly forthcoming about what happened on the other side.

I breathed in a ragged breath as I looked at the devastation around me.  Monty was still barking madly at the door and I walked across to open it.

“He’s gone now,” I said to Monty as he dashed between my legs and ran into the tiny space, looking about confused.

“Where did he go?” he asked, spinning around in a complete circle.

I slouched against the wall, still holding on to the shower curtain.

“I’ve banished him.  That should keep him away for a while.”

I looked around me, confused, mad as hell, and, I admitted to myself, a little scared.  I’d never been intimidated by a spirit before, and while I had used banishment before it was usually on those that decided to appear while I was in the bath.  I’d never had to use it in fear, and that being the only form of defence I had was a little worrying.  It was never permanent; they always came back.  And I rarely came across a spirit that could move things.

The room spun, and I realised the effects of the vodka and Becky’s secret addition still hadn’t worn off.

“He turned up a few minutes ago. I heard the banging and ran up to your room but I couldn’t stop him,” he said looking at me, clearly agitated.

“Don’t worry about it, let’s just get this mess cleaned up,” I replied, pulling myself off the wall.

Twenty minutes later, the bedroom was almost back to its former state, although I’d just shoved the clothes in the bottom of the cupboard and hidden them out of the way.  I wasn’t in a fit state to be hanging my entire wardrobe on hangers.

I’d just finished sweeping up the broken mirror in the bathroom when Monty came sauntering into the room.

“I need to go out,” he said, staring at me in earnest, and doing a little dance on his paws.

My shoulders dropped in defeat.  All I wanted was to climb into bed.

3 – Man on the Run

TOM COOPER

My heart pounded in my chest as my feet pounded the path. The cold air burned my lungs and a thin trickle of sweat was making its way down my brow.  My leg muscles burned, but it was a good burn; a rewarding ‘you are doing what you should be’ burn.  There really was nothing better in this world than a night run.  Well, apart from great sex.

I’d circled the nature reserve and had doubled back through the park.  According to the app on my phone, I’d done seven miles in just less than forty five minutes.  Not bad but still not up to my normal pace.

I saw the park bench some twenty feet in front of me and decided to take a breather before I made my way back home.  I flopped down on to the seat, taking a bottle of water from my running belt and pouring half of it over my head, before drinking the other half.  I tested the wound on my thigh again, just to be sure.  It seemed to be healing fine although the skin was still tight, and the area still tender.  The injury had prevented my nightly runs for a couple of weeks now but it seemed to be healing nicely.

Damn vampires.  Stabbing me with my own stake was a low blow.  Still, I’d learned a valuable lesson.

The park was deserted at this time of night.  Just the way I liked it.  Not that I was anti-social, but running for me was something I did alone for a reason, other than just getting fit.  I liked the solitude.

I looked at my watch.  It was a little after eleven.  I could finish my run in time to make my way into town for the nightclubs closing.  That was always a good time to catch a few vamps on the prowl.  Talking of vamps, I felt a faint but familiar tingle in my stomach.  Was it hunger or were they near?  It would be unusual for them to be anywhere near the village.

I heard footsteps and froze, concentrating to slow my heart rate and trying to work out where the sounds were coming from.  I looked over my shoulder at the cut in the hedgerow.

There.

Someone was coming into the park and my early warning systems were telling me that something wasn’t right.  The signal was still very faint, but it was there, without a doubt.  I jumped up from the seat, sprang and jumped into the closest tree, hoping the foliage would hide me and almost cursing as I slipped a little and a piece of bark buried itself into my palm.  I hung on to the tree with one hand and picked out the splinter with my teeth, listening intently. I could hear two voices, one male and one female.

“You can learn to talk, you’d think you could learn to pick up your own shit,” the female said.

“You’re pissed,” the male voice said.

“I am not!”

“Yes you are!  You are completely out of it.  Lightweight!”

The footsteps were getting closer.

“This is all down to Becky,” the female snapped.

“What about her?  You left her in the club on her own?”

“She put something in my drink.  I was like a walking man magnet.  And for your information, smart arse, I don’t get drunk on one vodka.”

I watched as the woman emerged from the bushes on to the path.  She was definitely human.  Whoever the guy was, he was lucky, because she was also stunning.  She wore a short black dress and had masses and masses of curly hair.  I couldn’t help but check her out. She had curves in all the right places and I tore my eyes away from her as I felt a twitch in my trousers.

A small Jack Russell walked in front of her.  Not exactly my favourite species of dog.  I looked again at the woman as she almost turned on her ankle and grinned at the six inch heels she was wearing.  To walk her dog?

I waited to see who the man was with her, then I almost fell out of the tree when the dog spoke.

“You don’t?  So what was Christmas, last year all about?”

I strained my neck, peering at them.  Had the dog really spoken or did it just seem that way?  I looked back further up the path, still half expecting a man to walk down behind her.

“I’d taken tablets!  How was I supposed to know they reacted to alcohol?”

“Try reading the packet, numpty,” the dog replied.

“Since when did you turn into Albert Einstein?  Shut up!”

“Ha!  You wish!”

“Listen, short arse, you weren’t there.  I only had one drink and suddenly I was every man’s answer to Scarlett Johansson?  This is so down to Becky!”

“Yeah?  Well, she’s right, I’ve told you.  You need to get laid and get over yourself.  Now, are you going to let me off the lead, or what?  I really don’t want to do my business right in front of you but I will if I have to.”

I watched, amazed, as she bent down to free him and once again almost fell over.  This time it obviously wasn’t because of the heels.  She was definitely a little worse for wear.  Drunk and wearing inappropriate footwear.  In a park.  At the dead of night.  I shook my head in disbelief.

“You know, I liked you a lot better when you couldn’t talk,” she said as she righted herself and released him from the leash.

“You need to let me know where you’ve done it, Monty.  Remember the rules.”  She waved a plastic bag at the dog and laughed as he snorted in disgust.

“You have no idea how embarrassing this is for me, do you?” he replied, trotting off as she stood back up.  And wobbled some more.

“It’s no bloody picnic for me, either,” she shouted after him.

My inner alarm started up in earnest now.  There was definitely at least one vampire in the vicinity, and it was coming this way.  The question was, who was it after; her or me?  It definitely wasn’t by chance.  Vampires weren’t in the habit of frequenting deserted parks in the middle of the night for fun; there wasn’t usually any sport in it.  They preferred busy pubs and dark back lanes.

The woman walked further down the path and I had a relatively clear view of her, at least for another fifty yards.  I scanned the trees and bushes across from her, and then I saw them - two vampires, both males, both wearing leather.  What was it with vampires and leather?  Did they actually think that look was sexy?

They were watching her with blood red eyes, a clear sign they were on the attack.  Or horny.  I could sympathise with the latter.  For all she was drunk, she was definitely hot. I groaned.  I could have done with more recovery time but two vampires I could handle, no problem.  I reached down to my belt and pulled out my stake gun.

The vampires split up, one going back into the bushes and one coming out into the clearing.  It looked like they were going to ambush her, one from the front and one from the back in case she ran.  Good.  Separate was easier to deal with.  I took aim at the remaining vampire and released the trigger.  A whisper of air whooshed out of the weapon as the stake shot out and pinned the target in the centre of his back, travelling right through him.  Bang on target.  He looked down in shock at the piece of wood protruding from his chest, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise, and then he crumbled into a pile of dust.

One down, one to go.

I had to move fast now as the woman was half way down the clearing.  Springing from the tree, I made my way back to the bushes.  I had two choices; I could climb in the bushes and follow the vampire or I could run along the front of the bushes and risk the woman seeing me.  I chose the latter option.  The bushes would hide me, but it would also be really easy for the vampire to hear me coming.

I sprinted along the front of the bushes, quickly catching up with the woman.  She was about twenty feet in front of me now and I saw the tell-tale flare of red in the bushes in front of her.  The woman turned from the path on to the grass and started walking away into the field.

“Monty, where the hell are you?” she yelled.

The vampire stepped out of the bushes in clear view and I knew, the speed at which they could pounce, I wouldn’t have time to take aim.  I launched myself at him and tackled him to the ground, landing on his back.  Like lightning, he turned and reached up for my throat, elevating us both upwards and lifting me a good six feet into the air.  His eyes burned blood red as he opened his mouth and hissed at me, his fangs long and gleaming in the moonlight.  He was young.  If I had to guess, I would say around about twenty years old, which was a shame since I was about to turn him into dust.  Still, that was the age he’d have been when he was turned and not the age he was now.  Judging by the brightness of his eyes, he wasn’t fresh, but he wasn’t an ancient.

I couldn’t breathe, what with the pressure of his hands on my windpipe, and I knew I had seconds to act.  Reflexively, I had grabbed on to his arms as he lifted me and dropped my stake gun.  I dropped one arm and pressed my right palm to his chest, flicking my wrist and firing a stake into his heart from the weapon secured to my arm.  We both fell.  Only one of us hit the ground.  And another pile of ash.  Still, it made good fertiliser.  I landed softly on my feet and turned in time to see the woman take a tumble.  I knew those heels would get her into trouble.

I scanned the area, still alert, but my body was telling me there were no more vampires.  The tingling had stopped.  For now.

I jogged across the field to the woman who was now lying face down in the grass.

“Hey, are you ok?” I asked, speaking softly so as not to startle her.  It didn’t work.  She gasped and spun round to look up at me.  I couldn’t tell what colour her eyes were in the night light but man, she was pretty.  Lips a man would walk a million miles to kiss, eyes you wanted to swim in.  Something stirred in my trousers and I prayed to a God I didn’t believe in that my jogging pants wouldn’t give the game away.  No need to scare her any more than she already was.  What was it about this woman that set me off?

“Sorry to startle you, I saw you fall.” I offered her my hand, and she looked at it, suspiciously.  “I don’t bite,” I said, laughing inside at the irony and smiling my winning smile.

Her dog came bounding back across the fields, obviously sensing danger.  Pity he hadn’t done that a little earlier, the useless mutt.  He stopped two feet from us and took an aggressive stance.

“Grrrrr,” he said, and I almost burst out laughing.  “Wuff!  Wuff!”

I dropped my hand which she obviously had no intention of taking, trying to smother a smile, then took a step backwards, putting my hands up in surrender.

“No harm intended, just trying to make sure your mistress is ok.”

“It’s ok Monty, back down boy,” the woman said.

Her voice was like liquid silk and I seriously needed to get baggier trousers or a potassium bromide infused cup of tea to calm myself down.  She stood up and dusted herself off, trying to hide the snag in her stockings.  Man, I was dying here and I couldn’t understand it.  I’d never had such a strong reaction to a woman before.

“I’m Tom.  Tom Cooper,” I said, offering my hand again.

“Grrrrrrr,” said Monty.

Miss Sexy looked at my hand, then back up at me.  Her eyes widened and she gasped, then her lips pursed in a thin line.  I looked at her confused.  Did she know me?  I certainly would have remembered meeting her before, that was for sure.

She was obviously not going to shake my hand, and I dropped it to my side.  She seemed to relent and finally she spoke.

“I’m Jen and this is Monty,” she said, indicating the dog with her head.

I bent down and offered my hand to Monty for a good sniff.

“Hey boy!  Good job protecting your mistress,” I said, but he just stared at me as though he thought I was stupid.  The feeling was mutual.

“He’s a little anti-social,” she said.  Just like his mistress, I wanted to add but stopped myself in time.

I stood up and looked at her.  “You really should be careful, walking your dog at this time of night.  You don’t know what kind of weirdos you might bump into.”

“What, like you, you mean?” she replied, looking at me warily.

Monty growled again.

“I’m not a serial killer, promise.  I’m a gardener, cross my heart!” I smiled my best smile.  She continued to regard at me with a guarded expression on her face.  Boy, she didn’t trust easily, that was for sure.

“I was just out for a jog, but I’d be happy to see you home.”

I pulled my mobile out of my pocket and faced the screen towards her.

“You can take this and call 999 if I as much as sneeze at you.  Or you could call my mother, she’s on speed dial 1.  She’ll vouch for me,” I said, giving her my earnest John face.  “I live on Prestwick Road, do you know it?”  I was assuming she was a local.  This was a small village and unless she drove, unlikely in her current condition, she must be from close by.  She didn’t move to take the phone.

“No, it’s fine, honestly.  We’re quite safe.   I walk Monty here all the time.”

“Yeah?”  I had to think on my feet here.  Chances were, I’d dispatched the problem, but it was still worrying that two vampires had come this close to the village.  They never had before.  If they were looking for me, chances were also good there would be more.

“My sister came by here a few weeks ago and some stranger tried to accost her.”  I hated lying to her, but it was unlikely they’d ever meet.   Her face went a little pale.  It looked like a job well done until Monty stuck his beak in.

“Grrrrrr.”

What was it with this mutt?  Did he have an inbuilt lie detector or what?  Miss Sexy looked at her dog and I realised the instant I’d lost the battle.

“No, honestly, we’re fine, but thanks for asking,” she replied, taking a step backward towards the path and landing on her arse again.  How much had she said she’d drunk?

I bent to help her up but Monty jumped between us, growling for all he was worth now.  I swear, if I’d been alone with him, I’d have given him a good kick up the arse.  Mutt.  As it was, I’m sure she wouldn’t trust me any more than she did now if I wellied her dog into the back end of next week.  I backed off.  I knew when I was defeated but my mind was working overtime.  How would I make sure she was ok without her thinking I was a bloody stalker?

“It was nice meeting you, Jen.  If you’re sure you’re ok, I’ll just leave you to it,” I said, walking backward, then taking off at a jog, getting back on to the path and not looking back.  I ran to the point where I was sure she couldn’t see me anymore, then dived into the bushes.  If I cut through, I could watch from the trees overlooking the pathway into the park and at least that would mean I could see her safely on to Main Street.

***

JEN

“Ha!  Coward!” said Monty, watching the retreating back of the serial killer as I lay there in the grass.

I groaned.  Why the hell didn’t I change my shoes before I came out?  My head was swimming, and I took a moment to let the world stop spinning, lying there and thinking about those sexy blue eyes and the scar that was most definitely in the shape of a star, smack dab in the middle of his forehead.  Becky McAllister strikes again.

“Are you going to sit there all day?” Monty said eventually.

I looked across at him.  My arse was getting wet and cold was seeping into my bones.  “Come on, let’s go home!” I said, pulling myself up.

***

Tom

I watched as she emerged from the path, carrying her shoes in her hand.  She stepped on something sharp and jumped, holding on to her foot.

“You should have changed your shoes,” the dog said.  At least he had some sense.

“Shut up,” she replied, hobbling along.  As hard as it was, I tore my eyes from her and scanned the surrounding area.  It looked clear.  She walked within a few feet of the tree and I wondered if the dog would sense me.  It’d be a little difficult to explain what I was doing if he did.  I didn’t need to worry; they passed by without incident.

She crossed Main Street, the mutt still walking by her side, then took the Front Street turn off.  As soon as she was out of sight, I jumped down from the tree and sprinted after her.  I caught up just in time to see her disappear down Horton Crescent.  That narrowed it down to one of ten houses.  As soon as she was out of sight, I sprinted across the road, slowing as I reached the corner and peering round the side.  I was just in time to see her arguing with another woman who was sitting on the doorstep of what must obviously be her house.  She put the key in the door and I watched as they all went inside and the door closed behind them.

I thought about the two vampires.  My route wasn’t my usual run; I didn’t have one.  In my line of work, it paid to be unpredictable.  Not the landscape gardening, which wasn’t a lie.  The other job.  The occupation that I hadn’t chosen, but had chosen me.  Vampire slaying.

The vampires hadn’t come from the direction I’d travelled in, which meant they were either following the girl or just a couple of chancers.  They didn’t seem to be freshers, and only freshers would search for victims in a park in the dead of night, especially a park in the middle of nowhere.  So why were they after the girl?

4 – Must Love Dogs

Jen

I grunted as Monty landed on my back.

“Wake up you lazy beggar, Becky’s bought breakfast.”

He grabbed the top of the duvet in his teeth and tried to pull back the covers.

“Knock it off, Monty, I’m too tired,” I replied, trying desperately to hang on to my duvet and hide my eyes at the same time, as Becky pulled the curtains open and burned my retinas with sunlight.

“Coffee,” Becky said seductively, “… and not just any coffee, it’s a Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks and it’s got your name on it.”

She crawled up the bed and cuddled into me.

I opened one eye.

“Chocolate sprinkles?”

“Don’t you know it, baby!” she replied, her hazel eyes twinkling at me.

“Bacon butties?”

“Full English,” she mouthed at me, smiling.  She knew how to push my buttons.

As one, we dived off the bed, fighting to get out of the door first and racing each other down the stairs.  Monty beat us both down by sneaking through our legs and almost causing me to go flying.

I threw myself down into a chair and grabbed for the food, shoving it greedily into my mouth and savouring the taste with a groan as I chewed furiously.  I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten and hadn’t realised how hungry I was.

Monty, sitting beside my chair, whined his ‘feed me, I’m homeless’ whine and looked up at me with his big, sad eyes.  That had only worked on me once and he’d ended up living here.  I wasn’t falling for it again.

“No chance,” I said to him, although it came out more like “nmmm chnnnn.”

“Does that mean I’m forgiven?” Becky asked, smiling as she reached for own sandwich and pulled out the sausage, tossing it to Monty who snapped it up whole.

I arched an eyebrow at her and smiled.  “I guess so, but no more, ok?  Leave me alone to sort out my own love life.”

Becky smiled slyly, sliding something across the table towards me.  I looked at her, confused, and then looked down at the piece of card.

“Want to tell me who this is?” she asked.

I picked up the card and read it.  ‘Emanuel Baptiste, Dealer in Antiquities’.  No telephone number, no address, just the name and occupation.  I snorted.  What a dork.  How did he expect anyone to contact him?  I threw the card back down on the table.

“Well come on, out with it!” Becky said, taking a bite of her sandwich, her eyes glued to me.

“He’s the guy whose car I almost stole last night,” I replied, and she grimaced.

“Sorry,” she said.  Again.  If I had a penny and all that, I could buy my own breakfast.

I ignored her as I took another bite of the delicious bacon, sausage and egg combo.  Monty whined again, and I glared at him.

“You’ve got your own food.”

“Have you tasted that muck?” he replied.  “Out of a bloody tin?  How about some fresh steak once in a while?”

I relented and pulled the sausage out of my sandwich, looking at it longingly before tossing it in Monty’s direction.  He snapped it up, chewed once and swallowed.  What a waste.  I bet he didn’t even taste it.

“So, was he good looking?  Sexy?  He’s certainly mysterious,” Becky said, picking up the card and inspecting it front and back.  “How does he expect anyone to contact him?” she asked, looking at me with a confused expression on her face.

“I have no idea and, quite frankly, I don’t care.   I’ve told you, I’m not interested in complicating my life any more than it is right now.”

Becky looked at me, obviously annoyed.  “One loser!   One!  And you’re going to wallow in self-pity and become an old maid?”

I sighed.  “Becky, I won’t be an old maid, stop exaggerating.”

I popped the last bite of sandwich in my mouth as Becky folded her arms and looked at me, clearly not believing a word I said, despite our having this conversation a million times.

Monty, finally accepting he wasn’t getting any more of our breakfast, curled up on the floor, settling himself down to eavesdrop on our conversation.

A crash sounded from the living room and ice ran up my spine.  Becky looked at me terrified as I pushed past her.

“Stay here,” I demanded as I ran, diving over the top of Monty and slamming the kitchen door shut before running into the living room.

He was back.  Mr. Angry, as I’d dubbed the nefarious spirit.  Only now he looked more like Mr. Bloody Furious.

He stood, legs apart and arms folded, my coffee table over-turned at his feet.  He glared at me with his brown eyes full of thunder.  They were rather piercing for someone who was dead.   His aura was still the same; black as night.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“Want a bet?” I said as I raised my hand and sent him back from wherever he’d come from.  I looked down at the mess on the floor.  This was getting really tiresome.  He had broken a figurine my aunt had given me when I’d first moved into my own home.  It wasn’t such a great loss, but she’d be bound to think I’d done it on purpose.  I sighed as I turned around, not wanting to deal with this right now, and headed back to the kitchen.

“Let me at him!  Let me at him!” I heard Monty yelling as I walked through the door.

“What the hell was that?” asked Becky.  I slumped down into a chair and told her the story of what had happened the previous evening.  Mr. Angry was certainly determined to get my attention.

“My God!” she exclaimed, staring at me in shock.  “Has this ever happened before?”

“I’ve never had a violent ghost before, no,” I replied as I stood to go and make another coffee.  “But don’t worry, I can handle him.”

“You need to find out who he is.  If you can give me a name, I can banish him for good,” she said, standing to join me at the kettle just as the doorbell chimed.

I looked at her, horrified.  “What time is it?”

“I don’t know; it must be about nine.” She looked at me, puzzled.

“Damn, I’ve forgotten I’m supposed to take Mum shopping.”

I ran to the door and opened it.  Mum gave me that look, the one all mothers seemed to perfect the moment their children were born.  The one that said ‘I cannot believe I went through numpteen hours of labour to bring you into the world and you ended up like this’.  She hugged me delicately and turned to Becky.

“Becky, love, it’s been ages,” Mum said as she kissed Becky on the cheek.  “Dear, you need to get your hair cut.   It’s full of split ends.”

Becky cringed.  “Yeah, it’s been a while since I did that, too,” she replied, pulling out of Mum’s embrace.  It’s funny but Becky, always cocky and confident, seemed to be reduced to a five-year old whenever Mum was around.

“And you, what time do you call this to be still in your pyjamas?”   Mum tutted as she turned her attention to the mess of cartons on the table.  “Still eating junk food, I see!  I don’t know what people would think.  You weren’t brought up like this,” she sighed, picking up the mess and tidying things away.

“I’ll be down in five minutes,” I said to her back and disappeared through the kitchen door, taking the stairs two at a time. I was glad to be away from her while she was in this mood but my rush was for other reasons.  I needed to get her out of here and double quick.  Ghosts she couldn’t see were one thing; a psycho house-demolisher was something else.  I prayed she wouldn’t go into the living room and see the mess.

I ran into my room, pulling jeans and a t-shirt from the cupboard and underwear from the drawers and throwing everything on the bed until I’d had a wash.  I dived into the bathroom, listening as Becky and Mum chatted in the kitchen.  “Keep her there, Becky, keep her there,” I said softly to myself as I scrubbed soap into my eye and reached for the towel.

Five minutes on the dot and I was ready, albeit still fastening my jeans as I ran down the stairs with water streaming from one eye.

“Ready?” I asked, sticking my head around the door, relieved that nothing untoward had happened and that Mum hadn’t spotted the mess in the living room.  Keeping my occupation away from my mother had to be one of my greatest feats.  She didn’t entirely hold with the ‘I see dead people’ aspect of it and had gone so far as having me checked by a child psychiatrist when I was eight.  They’d put it down to imaginary friend syndrome.  Mum had been so relieved I’d let it slide and it had been sliding ever since.   I knew I was sliding towards one massive pile of poo and I’d have to land one day.  Just so long as it wasn’t today.

“Absolutely,” Mum said as she dried her hands on my towel.  I held in the retort that came instantly to my lips, but only just.

“Well, you two have fun,” Becky said, looking relieved to see me.  “I’ll just… I’ve got that…”

“Yes, that thing,” I said, wanting to laugh.  Becky blushed and smiled as Mum eyed her, knowingly.

“Just make sure you come for dinner tonight.  No excuses,” she demanded.

***

We’d finished the shopping in record time, since Mum’s mind hadn’t really been on it.  Rather than being relieved it had just knocked the worry levels up a notch and after packing her shopping in the boot of the car, I’d dragged Mum to her favourite coffee shop to thrash it out.

She stirred her coffee three times clockwise and three times anticlockwise.  It was one of her little rituals.  I watched her as she stared into her coffee cup.  My Mum was fifty this year, but she was still a very beautiful woman.  I remembered being in awe of her as a child.  She was everything I wasn’t; poised, blonde, always in control.  Mum was the person everyone went to when they had a problem and she usually managed to get it sorted.  I had a knot in my stomach as I realised that this time, I would need to be that person for her.  I hoped I didn’t let her down.

“Mum, the answer isn’t in your coffee cup.  Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” I asked eventually.

She looked up, puzzled for a second, then smiled, blushing slightly as she realised she’d been caught.

“It’s your father,” she said at last, setting the spoon down carefully on the edge of the saucer and not making eye contact.  “I think he’s having an affair.”

My father was four years older than Mum and still a very handsome man.  Personality-wise, he was her complete opposite, and I’d always supposed that was why their marriage had survived where so many others had failed.  Dad was the fun one, the one who made up make-believe worlds and had sword fights with imaginary enemies, defeating them for me, his princess.  He was the one who’d made sheet tents and sat up with me, reading stories by torchlight when I couldn’t sleep.  Dad was the one who believed me when I said I saw dead people.  He was my hero.  I looked at my mother, shocked into silence.  At one time I would have laughed in her face, but even I had noticed a change in him recently and a stone sank in my stomach.

I reached across the table and touched her hand.  “What makes you think that?”

She sat back in her seat and looked at me.  “You know he’s been going through a difficult time these last couple of years.  First it was the sports car, then the incident with the hair dye.  I always knew it was his mid-life crisis and I know that can lead to affairs.”  She stopped and fought to get control of her emotions.

I’d never seen my Mum cry but I could see how close she was now and that scared me.  I waited for her to continue.

“He’s staying out a lot more than he used to and now he’s taking secret phone calls.  His mobile goes off and he leaves the room to answer it.”

“That doesn’t mean he’s having an affair, Mum,” I said softly.  “It could be work-related.  You know how hard he works.”  Dad was a paediatrician at the Royal Victoria hospital.  As long as I could remember he’d worked long days and sometimes been called in at night.  He used to tell me he had to fight the bogyman for the sick kids and I’d try my best to smile and think they needed him more than I did.  It had been hard for an eight-year old who was less than normal.

Mum pulled her hand out from under mine and reached for her bag.  Fishing about, she pulled out a piece of paper and laid it flat on the table, smoothing out the corners, clearly not wanting me to see it but needing someone to.  Finally, she slid it across to me and I looked at it as though it were about to explode.  In a way, I had a sneaking suspicion it just might.  At least enough to rock my foundations.

“Your father told me he had to attend a conference, but then I found this.”

I picked it up and read the words on the page.  It was a receipt for two tickets to Hawaii.  It had a picture on it of a hotel and a swimming pool and in my mind’s eye, I saw Dad lying on a sun lounger with a colourful cocktail in one hand, wearing speedos and a thick golden chain around his neck from which dangled a huge medallion.  He had a moustache.  Oh my God.  I reigned in my imagination and gave myself a mental slap. Then I looked at the big, bold letters beneath the picture.  Golden Sands Hotel awaits you.  It even sounded seedy.

I looked up at her and saw the weight of her sadness sitting on top of her like a heavy, black cloud.

“Have you asked him about it?”

“No.  I’ve been scared to.  What if he tells me I’m right?”

I wanted to tell her that hiding from it wouldn’t make it go away.  I wanted to tell her she needed to sit him down and thrash it out.  I wanted to, but a big part of me was scared too.  Then I remembered my Dad, sitting me down when I told him about my visitors.  He’d told me they came to me for a reason and I needed to talk to them to find out what that reason was.  I was terrified.  Then he’d landed me with the hero speech.

“Being a hero doesn’t mean you’re never afraid.  Being a hero means you act, despite your fear.”

I looked at Mum as I slid the paper back towards her.

“Mum, you need to speak to Dad.”

***

I slammed the door shut and leaned against it as Monty came down the hall.

“So you remembered where you live then?” he asked sarcastically.

“You need to go potty?” I quipped.

“No, I just did in the kitchen,” he replied, marching past me as I ran into the room to check.

Lying little toad, I thought, relieved.  He came trotting in behind me with his lead in his mouth and I snatched it from him and attached it to his collar.

“Remember the rules?” I asked him.

He rolled his eyes.  “No running off after bitches, no shitting on the path and make sure you can see where I do my business.”

I almost laughed.  I was beginning to enjoy the fact that he could talk to me.  When he wasn’t being a smart arse that is.

“Yes, but now there’s another one.”   I looked at him expectantly.

He clicked his tongue at me in disgust.  “No talking!  Alright already, I get it!”

I opened the door and locked it behind me, making my way down to the park with Monty at my heels.  It was a lovely day, although a little windy.  My mind strayed back to the day I’d spent with Mum and I worried about what the future would hold for them.  They’d been together forever.  I didn’t even want to contemplate a time when they were apart.  God knows what it would do to Mum, despite her being the sensible one.  I pushed the thoughts away, not wanting to deal with them and instead, thought about the events of the previous evening, and Tom.  I realised I hadn’t asked Becky about him.  I thought about his star-shaped scar.  I didn’t need to ask, she was so obviously behind his sudden appearance in my life.  I sighed, wishing she would just back off.  Even if I wanted a man in my life, how was I supposed to have any kind of healthy relationship with a man when I knew he had been the victim of one of her bloody spells?  Not that I was in any way ready to let someone else into my chaotic life at the moment.  I wasn’t sure I ever would be.

The last relationship I’d had had ended in disaster.  He’d caught me conversing with the dead and thought I’d gone loopy. I still remembered the hurt as I watched him run from the house on some pretext, followed by six weeks of unanswered phone calls before I’d finally given up.  That was a year ago.  That was also the day I locked my heart away, nice and safe.  Not that I blamed men or even hated them.  Let’s face it, having a girlfriend who regularly conversed with dead people wasn’t an easy thing to swallow.  They would all think I was nuts.  It wasn’t worth the risk.

As I crossed Main Street, I thought about Emanuel. There was a conundrum if ever there was one. Who handed business cards out with no contact address or telephone number? Maybe I should Google him and try to find out more.  Not because I had any intention of getting in touch with him, he was a little too smooth for my liking, but just out of idle curiosity.  At least, that’s what I told myself.

We’d arrived in the field behind the park and I stooped down to let Monty off the lead. He took off like a bat out of Hell.

***

Tom

My arse was numb from sitting in the same position on the wooden bench, and I was beginning to think this was a bad idea.  So far, I’d been hit on by a dog walker, almost pissed on by a Rottweiler and had a football bounced off my head by a kid with either a very bad or very good aim.

What the hell was wrong with me?  Was I really sitting in a park, in the hope of bumping into a woman I’d barely met?  One who allowed herself to get blind drunk, had no regard for her own personal safety and had shitty taste in pets?  Who would choose a Jack Russell over, say, a Labrador or a Retriever?  I’d love to know how this dog could talk, though.  And why two vampires had tried to attack her yesterday.  There was a mystery there, no doubt.  The biggest mystery, was why I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about this woman since I’d met her.  She was pretty, granted, but I just couldn’t put my finger on what it was about her that seemed to have me so enthralled.

I was about to get up and go home when I finally caught sight of her. My heart rate accelerated as I watched her walk across the green, then bend to release the terror from his lead.  She was wearing tight-fitting jeans that hugged her thighs and arse and a beige woollen jumper.  Her hair hung loosely around her shoulders, caught by the wind and billowing around her face.  My jeans were suddenly too tight and I groaned.

The terror ran off into the trees and she shouted after him, then followed, trying to fish something out of her pocket.  In an instant I was on my feet and walking briskly after her.  I’d sat here all morning.  I wasn’t losing sight of her when she’d only just arrived.

As I rounded the trees, she was bent over, scooping up her dog’s offerings while he glared at her.

“Hey,” I said, announcing my presence so as not to startle her.  She turned and looked up at me, her green eyes widening in surprise.   If it was humanly possible, I would have leapt into them.

“Hey yourself!” she replied, looking up at me and trying to hide the bag of dog shit behind her back.  She could be covered in the stuff and it wouldn’t lessen the raging hard-on I was trying so desperately to control.

“Do you remember me?” I asked, feeling stupid as soon as the words left my mouth.  Talk about sounding desperate!

“Yeah, you’re the serial killer from last night,” she replied as her dog cocked his leg and pissed all over my shoe.  I jumped back, laughing, but I seriously wanted to drop kick that little shit.

“Monty!” she shouted at him, but I could see from the expression on her face she found it amusing.

“It’s Jen, right?” I asked.

“Yes, that’s right,” she replied, starting to walk away from me.  “Sorry, I’ve forgotten your name.”

I matched her pace and walked beside her.  She’d forgotten my name?  I’d obviously made a huge impression there then.

“Tom, Tom Cooper.” I smiled at her, trying to hide my disappointment.

“Do you have a dog?” she asked, looking around.  Now it was my turn to be embarrassed.  I couldn’t exactly tell her I’d come wanting to catch a glimpse of her again.

“No, I’m with my nephew… he’s over in the play area,” I replied, waving back towards the park.  I felt the weight of black clouds of doom hanging over my head for the amount of lies I was telling.  I didn’t even have a nephew.

“Oh?  How old is he?” she asked.

“He’s err, five, yes, five.” I had to start being better prepared.  God please don’t let her ask his name!

“What’s his name?” she asked, taking a step to the side and starting to walk back along the path.  I walked alongside her as my brain worked overtime.

“Josh,” I replied, spouting out the first name that came into my head.  Josh was my best mate.  Still, she didn’t know that.

“Nice name,” she replied, still walking.

Monty came running back down the path, eyeballing me warily and trying to stay out of reach of Jen.

“Do you like sushi?” I asked her.  I could have bitten my tongue off in disgust.  What the hell was wrong with me?  As chat-up lines went that was really lame, and I wasn’t usually this much of a dork around women.  My brain seemed to disengage in her presence, probably because my body’s entire supply of blood had travelled south.

She stopped, turning to face me, her green eyes locked on to mine.  “I’ve never had it.”

“Want to try it with me, tonight?” I asked, smiling my boy next door smile.

Her eyes narrowed.  Perhaps I’d overdone it.

“Sorry, I can’t tonight.  I have plans.”

“Another time?” I asked.  Just kill me now.

She turned and looked at me and for a second I thought she was going to say yes.

“I can’t, but thanks for asking,” she replied as she turned and walked away.

Damn, I’d never worked so hard to get a date in my life and she was turning me down?  I watched her as she walked down the path, her dog running around her.  He stopped for a second and looked my way and I swear the little fucker was laughing at me.

***

Jen

I checked them off in my head as I headed back home.  Really tall; check. Works outside; check.  Loves kids; check.  Blonde; check.  Sexy; double check.  I’d almost been tempted.  Becky was so in trouble when I got my hands on her.

I walked into the kitchen and walked right through Spence. Walking through a spirit was the single most disgusting experience a person can have.  It felt like walking through heavy, emotion-laden treacle. Sometimes, some of the emotions stuck to you and it was really difficult to shake off someone else’s bad mood. This was one of those times. Spence was not a happy bunny.

“Exactly what time do you call this?” he snapped at me. “You have no concept of time, do you?”

I sighed and dropped the dog lead on the table.

“Spence, I’m sorry, I’ve had a bit of a family emergency.”

He dropped his arms and looked at me. Spence was seventy-seven when he died, two years ago. If you looked up the word cantankerous, it would probably have his name in the definition somewhere. We’d met when he first passed and I’d tracked down his one and only grandchild so that he could claim the estate.  He’d never told me why he hadn’t left anything for his son and I hadn’t asked.  If he’d wanted me to know, he’d tell me.

For some reason, Spence had taken a bit of a shine to me.  Well, at least as much as he could take a shine to anyone, belligerent old sod that he was.  He’d appointed himself my spirit guide, if you want to call it that, and had turned out to be a bit of a godsend.  He basically kept the others in check, tried to stop queue jumping and organised my appointments.  He was a thin man, almost to the point of being gaunt. I was sure he’d served in the army at some point in his life because he was an absolute expert at giving orders.  Life before him had been almost impossible with spooks jumping out at me every time I opened a cupboard.  He’d also taught me the banishing trick for which I’d been eternally grateful.  There are only so many times a girl can get caught in compromising positions before she loses her cool.

His look of anger became one of concern and he took off his flat cap and held it in his hands. “Is everything alright?” he asked me.

“I’ll tell you about it later. I imagine they’re having a riot in there?” I nodded towards my office. I called it an office, but in reality it was the spare bedroom with a desk in it.

“There’s just one today.”  He gave me the look.  Only Spence could give you this look.  His eyes almost popped out of his head and his mouth formed a grim line.  I knew that look well and it could only mean one thing.

“Annie McDonald?”

He didn’t answer but pulled on his cap, turned his back and walked away, disappearing before he reached the kitchen door.

I sighed and walked dejectedly into the office where Annie, an octogenarian, was waiting patiently for me.

“About bloody time,” she screeched.  Maybe not so patiently after all.

Annie had died of a heart attack, peacefully in her sleep.  There are times I believe there is no justice in the world and Annie was walking proof of that.  The woman was a harpy who had driven her husband to drink.  Their only daughter, a mousy little thing by all accounts, had stayed home taking care of her parents, missing out on a host of experiences she could have had because her mother had maintained too much control over her.  I’d been writing her life story now for two months and there were times it took all I had not to banish her.

I sat down at the desk and pulled the keyboard towards me.

“Now, where were we up to?” I asked, getting ready for another painful session.

Annie settled into her chair, a glint in her eyes as she started on her favourite topic.  Herself.

“Well, I was telling you about when I drove trucks in the army.  Now, it was about 1953, or it might have been 54?  Yes, definitely 1954.  I was beautiful in those days, you know.  Everyone told me so.”

I pulled my laptop to me and flipped it open as she talked.  Two hours of this and I’d be ready to stick a pencil in my eye.

5 – We Are Family

“You’re late,” Mum said as she opened the door and frowned at me.

“Sorry Mum. Monty took off after a rabbit.  It took ages to get him back on the leash.”

Mum glared at Monty and he shrank down on his paws.  I sympathised.  She had that effect on people too.

I followed Mum down the hall, taking my coat off as I went, then bent to release Monty from the leash.  From the noise in the dining room, they hadn’t waited for me to arrive.  I walked into the room to see Becky and the family seated at the table, and two of my brothers fighting over a chicken leg.    Becky winked at me, ignoring the commotion going on around her.

“You know I’m a leg man!  You had the leg last time,” whined Johnny, the youngest of my three brothers.

Joe smiled at him as he ripped the meat from the bone with his teeth.  “You snooze, you lose my friend,” he said, spitting bits of chicken across the table.

I walked across to hug Dad who had stood up as soon as I arrived.

“Hello, princess,” Dad hailed as he kissed me on the cheek and smiled at me, his green eyes sparkling.

“Where’s aunt Melissa?” I asked.

“She’s on a mission for the government, very hush hush…” Dad tapped his nose, then leaned in and stage whispered, “… but I can tell you she is tasked with discovering the secret of perpetual energy.  Apparently it involves some strange and torturous experiments on a room full of pre-pubescent earthlings who are injected with huge amounts of sugar.”

Mum rolled her eyes.  “She’s coming by later. They’ve gone to a birthday party for one of Chester’s school friends.”

Dad winked at me as he took his seat.

Melissa was my mother’s much younger sister, and the two were poles apart in personality, Mum being the pragmatic practical one and Melissa being the mystical, flighty one. She was divorced with two kids - Chester aged ten and Tulip who was about to turn eight.

I took my seat beside Becky while Mum passed me a plate filled to the brim with vegetables and gravy.  I looked in consternation at the decimated chicken carcass, then looked across at my older brother Toby’s plate, piled high with meat.  I looked over his shoulder and gasped and he spun round to see what I was looking at.  While his attention was diverted, I spooned half of the meat from his plate on to mine and he turned back just in time to see me shoving a forkful into my mouth.

“Hey!” he snapped as Dad laughed.

“So how’s it going in the world of sex aids?” Joe, my middle brother asked, smiling evilly at me.

“Not at the table, Joe,” Mum said, raising her eyebrow and frowning.

Joe sniggered.  “Sorry Mum.”

Joe was the handsome one, and boy did he know it.  He was also the only one of the three brothers who hadn’t tried to follow in Dad’s footsteps and study medicine.  He was a detective with the Northumbria Police Force and I wasn’t sure if it were his natural charm or his dangerous occupation that caused the flood of women to chase him.

“How’s the writing going, Jen?” Dad asked, expertly changing the subject to a safer topic as he glanced sideways at Mum, smiling.

I took a moment to swallow my food and grinned at him.  “Fine, Dad.  Still pounding away at the keyboard.”

Johnny, my youngest brother, snorted.  “His throbbing manhood poked me in the stomach as he pulled me into his arms for a searing kiss,” he quoted mockingly.  Joe laughed and high-fived him as Toby, the serious one, glared at them both.

“Johnny, if you’re into that sort of stuff, I can bring you some books from work.  Lots of throbbing manhood for you to drool over,” Becky said, grinning at him.

“I do not… I am not…” Johnny spluttered, as Dad laughed.

“Don’t hide your sexuality, love, it’s not healthy,” Becky interrupted him as I sniggered and high-fived her.   Toby smiled again but said nothing.  He rarely did.

“Jenna McClusky’s son is gay.  He’s a nice boy,” Mum said, smiling at Johnny.

“Didn’t you date him once?” Joe asked me, grinning from ear to ear.

I flicked a pea across the table and it bounced off his nose.

“Score!” shouted Dad, raising his fists in celebration.

“Stop playing with your food,” Mum snapped, pushing her chair back and climbing under the table to retrieve the wayward vegetable.

“Honey, while you’re down there….,” Dad said, grinning lewdly.

Toby almost choked on his drink and Becky laughed out loud.  I swallowed a groan as Mum banged her head on the underside of the table.  Dad was so for it now.

The plastic sounds of “We wish you a merry Christmas” rang through the house and Dad jumped up from his seat, arm in the air as he dramatically declared himself saved by the bell before running from the room.  Oh great, the brood had arrived.

Aunt Melissa and the two stooges came bundling into the living room, teeth chattering in the cold and scarfs bundled up around their throats, expect for Tulip who had hers over her eyes.

“What gives?” asked Joe as he got up from the table and picked Tulip up into his arms.  “Blind today, baby girl?” he asked.

“Yes!” replied Melissa as she unbuttoned her coat.  “She’s already broken one of my best china teacups and scraped her knee when she fell over three times on the way to the party.”

Tulip was being taught about equality and diversity at school.  Last week she’d had to be pushed around in a pushchair all week because she wanted to know how someone who couldn’t walk managed in their day-to-day life.

Chester ran over to Toby, tugging off his coat as he ran and the two started wrestling on the floor.

“Chester, behave yourself,” shouted Melissa angrily.  She looked completely frazzled, and I didn’t envy her the two hours she’d had to endure in a houseful of hyped-up kids.  She turned to me to give me a hug, pulling me into her arms, then stopped in her tracks, staring at me like a goldfish.

“Oh no, oh that is so not good,” she said, then grabbed me by the arm and pulled me out of the room.  Without saying a word, she dragged me all the way up the stairs.  I knew enough that when she got in one of these moods, it was best to let her have her way.  If it weren’t for Melissa, I would have been convinced my special talents came from my father’s side.  Melissa was the only other person in the family who had mystic abilities.

We reached the bathroom and she pulled me in, slamming and locking the door behind us.  I could still hear Chester squealing as she turned to me, her back to the door and her hand still holding on tightly to the handle.

“You have difficult times ahead,” she said, eyes like saucers.

“What, you mean more than normal?” I scoffed.

“This is no laughing matter, young lady.”  Melissa glared at me.

“What did you see?” I asked, sitting on the bath and waiting for her to speak.  When aunt Melissa had a vision, it always came true, although sometimes her interpretation left a lot to be desired.

“Blood.  Lots of blood,” she said, her chins wobbling.  My aunt was a big girl.  She released the handle and came further into the room, kneeling before me and holding on to my knees.  Her head flew back and her eyes glazed over.  I watched in fascination.

“Three wise men.”

“You’re kidding me, right?”

She glared at me again before turning her eyes away and focusing on whatever vision she had conjured up in her mind.

“As I said before I was so rudely interrupted, three wise men.   And they’re bearing gifts.”

“Oh goodie,” I said, watching her face.

She turned her eyes to me again.  “Are you going to take this seriously?”

“Sorry, aunty,” I replied, suitably chastised.

She huffed and turned her gaze away again.  “Now where was I? Ah yes.  Three wise men.  Well, maybe not so wise.  Maybe just three men.  Wow, he’s hot.”

I watched her face as she smiled, then puckered her lips seductively as if to blow her vision a little kiss.  Her bright pink lipstick was smudged, and I fought down a giggle.

I heard a crash from downstairs, then Tulip crying.  Melissa didn’t flinch.

“Gifts, yes… gifts” she said, gazing into space.  She frowned and pursed her lips.   “No, that’s not good at all.”

“What?” I whispered.

“Don’t interrupt,” she said, closing her eyes.  She grimaced again.

“Is it bad?” I asked.

“Yes, I’ve got a cramp in my knee,” she replied without opening her eyes but changing positions so that she was sitting on the floor in front of me with her legs crossed.  She raised her hands in the air as though she were meditating.

She opened her eyes and looked at me.  “You’re not very good at reading men, are you?”

“What does that mean?” I demanded.  She ignored me and closed her eyes again.

“The one you trust can’t be trusted.  The one you don’t trust, should be trusted and the other one, well.  How can I put this delicately..?”

“Don’t spare me, just spit it out!”

“He wants you dead.”

“Wow, that was a bit of a buzz kill.”  I looked at her, shocked.

Her eyes flew open and her green orbs almost popped out of her head.  “Stay away from the park,” she warned, then her shoulders sagged and she fell back on to her rear, exhausted.  Great, that was all I got?  Three men and a warning to stay out of the park?  A vision of blue eyes came to me and I wondered if that was what the warning was about.  I’d met him in the park.  Did he want me dead?

I slunk down on to the floor beside my aunt and touched her shoulder.  “Are you ok?” I asked.  She looked up at me and smiled a really sad smile.

“You have to have your wits about you now, princess.  Please don’t wind up dead. I don’t look good in black.”

I laughed and hugged her, getting a mouthful of curly brown hair in the process.

“I’ll try not to,” I said, making light of her comments while fighting down a feeling of dread.

A knock on the door prevented me from saying any more.

“Are you two ok in there?” asked Dad.

“We’ll be right out,” Melissa shouted, struggling to get to her feet.  As I said, she was a big woman.

“Good.  Do you know how to get gravy stains out of a carpet?”

Melissa dashed to the door and pulled it open.  “Is Tulip ok?”

“Oh yes, she’s fine.  We managed to get the gravy boat off her head, eventually.”

6 – We Don’t Need Another Hero

Tom

I watched from the rooftop as she kissed her friend on the cheek and waved her off as she pulled out of the drive.  Her skin looked alabaster in the glow from the street lamp.  She stooped to pick up the dog and tucked him into her coat as she made her way down the path. I felt a familiar twinge in my jeans and once again marvelled at the affect this woman seemed to have on me.  I had to stop worrying about my dick and think about how the hell I was going to get down off this roof without alerting her to my presence.  The door opened again below me, and a man came running out.

“Hey sis, you’re sure you don’t want me to walk you home?”

Ah, her brother!  A smile crept across my face as the knot in my stomach disappeared.  I watched her turn toward the house, her curls blowing in the breeze.

“No, I’m fine, I don’t need anyone to protect me.  Stop worrying,” she said as she turned and waved him back in.

“Well, if you’re sure!  See you next week.”

The dark head turned and went back into the house.

“What am I?  Chopped liver?  He doesn’t think I could protect you?” the dog said, obviously disgusted.

“Shut up, someone will hear you,” she snapped back at him.

I raised myself up on my forearms and flipped over the edge of the roof, wondering if I were over-stepping the bounds of my abilities as I did so.  This was going to hurt!

I landed on my feet with such force my legs buckled and I rolled, trying to minimise the impact.  I felt a muscle pull in my back and lay there with my eyes scrunched shut for a moment, trying not to shout out in agony.  When I no longer felt sick with pain, I opened my eyes and jumped to me feet, trying to get my bearings.  I darted across the garden and into the bushes, watching as she turned at the end of the street and disappeared from view, then I sprinted after her.

As I reached the corner, my internal vampire alarm started screaming at me.  I looked up to see two pairs of legs dangling over the edge of the roof above me. I looked back down the street as Jen crossed the road, obviously heading back towards the park.  What was it with this woman and dangerous places?

I pulled a stake from my belt and felt the weight of it in my hand as I waited where I was until the two rooftop gazers decided to jump down.  I didn’t have long to wait before the pair of them came sailing towards me, obviously intent on following Jen.  I grabbed one of them around the neck in a choke hold, and drove the stake straight through his heart.  As he faded to ash, the second vampire turned around and spotted me, his eyes blazing.  He hissed, baring his fangs at me.  Yeah, now I was scared.

Before I could react, he ploughed into me and lifted me by the throat into the air.  The move was so predictable I already had my hand on his chest and had released the stake from my wristband before we’d gotten more than four feet up.  The vampire was still travelling upwards when he disintegrated and I went crashing to the ground, the torn muscle in my back now screaming at me.

I picked myself up and sprinted towards the park.  There were more of them, I could feel it.

The dog started to bark as I was halfway across the road.  I picked up the pace, rounding the bend in time to see Jen on the ground with a vampire sitting on top of her chest and the dog trying to fight him off.  I bolted even faster until it felt like my lungs would burst.  I launched myself into the air but another vampire swooped in from the left, catching me in the stomach and sending us both sprawling onto the grass.  As we landed, I turned and placed my hand over his heart and released a stake from my wristband whilst at the same time reaching behind me with my other hand and pulling out my stake gun.  I raised it, took aim at the vampire sitting on top of Jen and fired, praying all the while that Jen wouldn’t move.  The stake seemed to travel in slow motion and I watched as it flew slowly through the air almost like a rocket in space.  It travelled horizontally across the field and I held by breath, willing it to reach its target.  I caught Jen’s eyes as they grew to the size of saucers and for a fraction of a second I doubted my aim and worried that it would hit her.  The vampire almost seemed to swell his chest and throw himself at the stake and at the precise moment it struck his heart, the world sped up again.   I watched, thankful to whatever greater being was out there, as the vampire fell forward.  He was dust before his body hit the ground.

I rolled over on my back in relief, then I quickly jumped to my feet and ran over to Jen.  She would be terrified and for a moment I considered wiping her memory.  Then I realised that if I did, she wouldn’t appreciate the danger she was in and decided against it.

“Hey, it’s ok, you’re safe now,” I said, hunkering down beside her and checking her neck for bite marks as the dog sunk his teeth into my ankle.  I screamed, clutching my leg and shaking furiously to get him off.

“Monty, let go!” I heard her shout, and the dog released me from its jaws.  I rolled on to my back, clutching my leg and praying I wouldn’t scream like a girl.  Shit that hurt.

“Are you ok?” she asked as she scrambled up and touched my arm.  I looked into her face and marvelled as the pain seemed to disappear just by looking at her.  She had to be the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.  Her cheeks were flushed and her curly hair almost covered her face as she bent over me.  She was coated in grey ash.

“I’m fine, don’t worry about it,” I said as I pulled myself up, gritting my teeth against the pain.  “What you should be worrying about is why you seem to be targeted by vampires. We need to get you out of here,” I said as I reached across to her.

She burst out laughing.  So much for being terrified.

“Are you on something or what?  Vampires?” she said, sitting back on her feet and looking at me incredulously.

I stared at her in amazement.  “Just how many creatures do you know that crumble to dust when you shove a stake through their heart?” I watched as her face turned white and her laughter faded, to be replaced by short gasps for breath.  Damn it, now she was going into shock.  Sometimes I could cut out my own tongue.

I reached across and grabbed her by the arm.

“No time for this, Jen.  We need you out of here now.”

I stood up and pulled her to her feet trying to push her along.  It wasn’t working, and she stood there still gasping in shock.  It looked like it had to be the old fashioned way.  I lifted her into my arms and started to run towards her house, the dog at my heels.

I reached the edge of the park and dashed straight out across the road to her street, almost skidding around the corner, and finally seeing her house ahead of me.

“Where are your keys?” I asked her, lowering her to the ground.  She reached into her pocket as the dog scratched at the door as eager to be inside as I was.  The keys dropped to the ground, and I stopped her as she bent to retrieve them.  I quickly scooped them up and tried the first key in the lock.  I hit the jackpot as the door swung open and I bundled her inside and slammed the door behind us.

She looked at me, her eyes wide, but I was relieved to see the colour had returned to her cheeks and she looked a little more with it than she had a moment ago.

“The windows,” she said, turning and running up the stairs.  I raced up after her and watched from the hall as she slammed the window in the bedroom shut and pulled the curtains closed against the night.

“Don’t worry, they can’t come in here,” I said, crossing into the room and standing beside her.

“How do you know?” she asked turning to me, frantic.

“Because I’ve warded your house against them,” I replied, knowing this was probably the worst thing I could have said right at that moment.

“How?  Why?  How do you know where I live?” she asked, taking a step backwards.

“I followed you from the park last night.  Listen, I don’t want to scare you, but this isn’t the first time vampires have tracked you.”

I stayed exactly where I was, seeing in her eyes that the first sign of movement and she would be out of there and I wasn’t entirely convinced she wouldn’t bolt out of the house altogether.

“Who are you?” she asked as she walked backwards into the wall.

“I’m a vampire slayer.  I can help you,” I said, taking a step towards her.  Before I could blink, she’d put one knee in my crotch and I dropped to the floor as white hot pain exploded behind my eyeballs.

She jumped over the top of me and it was pure luck that as I reached up, I managed to catch on to her ankle and pull her down on top of me.  Had the circumstances been different, I would have enjoyed having her crotch in my face but as it was, blinded by pain, I couldn’t think of anything other than stopping her from flying out of the house.

The dog attached itself to my ankle again and I screamed, not even caring that I might seem less of a man in her eyes.  I rolled over on top of her, the dog still stuck to my ankle.

“Will you stop?  Just stop!  Think about it, what was it that attacked you?  It certainly wasn’t me and if you sit still long enough to think about it, all I’ve done so far is help you.  I am not the bad guy here!”

She stilled beneath me, panting in an effort to catch her breath.  Even the dog stopped chewing on me.  He didn’t release me, but at least he’d let the pressure up a little.

I looked down into her green eyes and almost tasted her sweet breath.  My eyes dropped to her mouth.  Her lips were slightly parted and an overwhelming urge came over me to kiss her.  I rolled off, freeing her, before I made a bigger fool of myself, and got another kick in the jewels.  It was a toss-up what hurt the most, my pride at being bested or my manhood.  And my ankle was throbbing to shit as well.  So much for the nightly runs for a while.

“Why are you following me?” she said at last, not moving and not looking at me.

“I followed you because you brought vampires to the park last night.  They were following you.  When a vampire has a target, they don’t usually give up until they get it.  I didn’t want to see you get hurt, but I am seriously rethinking that thought,” I said, forcing myself to sit up and check out my mangled ankle.

“Try something, go on, I dare you!” said the dog.

Jen sat up, startled.  “Monty!”

I laughed.  “It’s all right, it wasn’t exactly a secret.  You were talking to him last night in the park.” I turned to Jen.  “You know, for someone who has a talking dog, you seem a little too averse to the supernatural.  Don’t you believe in vampires?” I asked her.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” she said, her jaw dropping as she looked at me.  “A talking dog is one thing, a dead man walking and wanting to drink your blood is another.  I thought vampires only existed in the movies!”

Her lips moved as she spoke the words but what they were really saying was ‘kiss me, you know you want to’.  I turned away from her before my body started reacting in ways it would be difficult to hide.

“You saw them with your own eyes.  Did they, or did they not, turn to dust?”

I turned to see the expression on her face as she considered my words carefully.  Then she asked me a question that was so left field, I was startled for a moment.

“Are you in on this or did Becky cast a spell on you too?” she asked, looking at me suspiciously.

“Who’s Becky?”

She snorted as she pulled herself to her feet.  I leaned on to the bed to pull myself up and tested a little weight on my ankle.

“There’s more where that came from if you try anything funny,” snarled Monty, lying down on the floor and eying me suspiciously.

“Shut up, mut,” I said.

“Fucker!” he snapped back.

“Shut up, both of you,” Jen said, sitting down on the edge of the bed and looking at the floor.  “Why would vampires be chasing me?” she asked, still looking at the floor.  I didn’t know if she was asking me or asking herself.

“Have you been to any nightclubs lately?” I asked her, remembering her state of dress the previous evening.

“Yes, last night.  Why?” she asked, looking at me now.

“Meet anyone strange?” I asked, watching her face and taking in the penny dropping moment.  Interesting.

“Emanuel!” she gasped.  “Do you think he’s a vampire?”

“With a name like that, you’d be surprised?” asked the dog.  I hid a grin.

“Tell me about him,” I asked her.

She blushed and an uncomfortable feeling settled in my stomach.  I wondered what had happened, and then I remembered.  She’d been walking the dog alone, so probably not much.

“I climbed into his car by mistake. I thought it was a taxi,” she said, throwing herself back on the bed and crossing her arms over her eyes.  Then she jumped up.

“He gave me his card,” she said, and then she ran from the room.  I took off after her and the dog followed me.  He trusted me about as much as his mistress did.

I followed Jen down the stairs and into the kitchen where she had upended the bin and was pushing rubbish around in a frantic bid to find, what I supposed, was the guy’s business card. He obviously hadn’t made much of an impact on the ice queen either, I thought to myself, smirking.

“Got it,” she said, jumping up and shoving a tomato-stained piece of card towards me.  The red mark made the card seem even more sinister.  I lifted it up and looked at the name embossed on the front.  Emanuel Baptiste.  No address.  No telephone number.  It definitely seemed their style.

I passed the card back to her.  “He could be a vampire, but it’s hard to say.  What did he look like?”

“Well he didn’t have pointy teeth, for a start,” she replied sarcastically.

I raised an eyebrow and looked at her.  “They don’t always have their fangs on show, smarty pants.  I’m asking because I killed two other vampires last night who were following you in the park.  I wondered if one of them was this Baptiste guy.”

She sighed.  “Dark hair, curly, about six foot two, brown eyes, muscular, full lips….”

“I think I get the picture!” I stopped her before she started to drool.  “That didn’t fit the description of the two who followed you yesterday, or today.”

I rubbed my chin and thought about it.

“What kind of car was it?”

She sighed and slouched back on her feet.  “I have no idea, four wheels, black… at least I think it was black.”  She scrunched up her nose as she tried to remember.  A part of me was frustrated at her lack of attention to detail, and a part of me was thinking how cute she looked.

“Let’s just get this mess sorted out, then we can try to figure this thing out,” I said, grabbing a handful of soggy tea bags and throwing them back into the bin.

Ten minutes later, she’d made us both coffees and we were sitting at the kitchen table.

“So what happens now?” she asked, looking at me.  She had a smudge of the tomato sauce on her cheek and I really wanted to lick it off.  The urge was so strong, I had to look away.

“We need to figure out why they’re after you.    In the meantime, you’re safe enough here but you shouldn’t go out at night until we sort this out,” I replied, cupping my hands around the steaming coffee.

“Are you kidding me?  It gets dark by six now and next weekend the clocks go back.  I’ll be almost a prisoner in my own home!”

“Yeah, and what about me?  I can’t keep my legs crossed for 12 hours a day,” said Monty, lying on the floor, feeling sorry for himself.

“And just how am I going to find out why they want me?” she asked, setting her cup down on the table.

“I’ll ask about, see if I can dig anything up on this Baptiste guy,” I replied.  I looked at her.  “Don’t take this the wrong way, but are you going to be ok if I leave you here or would you like me to stay?”

***

Jen

I looked at him, dumbfounded for a second.  Would I be ok?  Could the vampires get in?  Did I want him to stay?  I wasn’t overly happy at his tale of vampires, but he was right, I couldn’t deny what I’d seen with my own eyes.  But I was willing to bet my new Prada boots that this was all down to Becky.  This was all the product of yet another misfired spell, no doubt.  I’d said I wanted a hero; she conveniently provided me with one, star on his forehead and all.  Maybe she’d gone a little wild on the danger front but no one could accuse her of not having an imagination.

“No, you go.  I’ll be fine,” I said, lifting my chin in determination.

He looked at me for a second and his face said there was something more he wanted to say but something was obviously stopping him.  He placed his hands on his knees and stood.

“Well, if you’re sure,” he said, looking at me with a seriously worried expression on his face.  I didn’t need him to worry about me.  I didn’t need him to protect me.  I was perfectly capable of handling this on my own.  I didn’t need a landscape gardener riding his lawnmower into the horizon and waving his hoe in defiance, on my account.  I could fight my own battles.

I stood up, my eyes never leaving his face.

“Thanks for your help, but I can take it from here,” I said, walking towards the door to show him out.

He didn’t move.

“You heard the lady,” said Monty, coming to stand by my side, glaring at him.

Finally, as though reaching some decision, Tom walked through the door and down the hall.  A swell of panic rose in my throat as he reached the front door but I squashed it down.  I was being stupid.  All I needed to do was call Becky and have her reverse whatever the hell it was that she’d done.

“You can reach me at Cooper’s Garden Centre, if you need me,” he said as he unlocked the door and walked through, closing the door behind him.  I jumped forward and re-locked it and stood and listened to his footsteps as he walked down the path.  As soon as I was sure he was gone, I ran back into the kitchen and picked up the phone.  Becky answered on the third ring.

“Hey, what’s up?” she asked.

“What have you done now?” I asked.

***

I lay in bed thinking about what had happened.  My life was strange before but this was seriously out of my normal wacky.

My thoughts strayed to Tom and a vision of him pinned beneath me when I’d landed on top of him came to my mind.  My nether regions tingled, and I allowed myself to admit he was sexy as hell.

Becky had sworn she had nothing to do with him turning up in my life along with a posse of vampires.  She had sounded so convincing, but she’d given me the same assurances before.  And there was no mistaking the star.  Becky McAllister was behind this somehow, and when she got here tomorrow, I was going to find out exactly how.

***

Becky sat on the step, waiting for me as I returned from taking Monty for his early morning walk.  Monty strained at the leash to get to her, his pink tongue hanging out as Becky stood and walked towards us.  For the first time, she didn’t immediately jump to give him attention but instead grabbed me by the arm.

“Do you really think it’s wise to go out, what with everything that’s going on?” she asked, worry lines marring her otherwise perfect face.

“Becky, unless everything I’ve ever read or seen is wrong, vampires don’t come out during the day,” I replied, as we continued into the house.

“Oh? And you’re willing to risk your life based on what?  Three series of ‘The Originals’?” she demanded, her face flush with anger.  I rolled my eyes and walked past her to the house.  She had some nerve.  If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t be in this mess.

As soon as we all crossed the threshold, Becky turned and locked the door.  I sighed and walked into the kitchen.  If she was the font of all knowledge on all things supernatural, I was in serious trouble.

I walked over to the coffee machine and dropped in a pod, setting a cup beneath the spout and getting another ready to follow.

Becky took off her coat and gloves and took a seat at the table.  “Out with it, I want to hear everything that’s happened,” she said, ignoring Monty who was still waiting for her to shower him with affection.

I looked at her as the coffee machine ground out its black magic liquid.  “Becky, exactly what did you do to Tom?”

Becky dropped her head on to the table.  “How many times?” she groaned, then looked up at me. “I told you last night, Jen!  I don’t even know who you’re talking about!  I haven’t cast a spell to bring you your ideal man, I hadn’t slipped anyone a potion to make them fall in love with you and I certainly can’t, even if I wanted to, conjure up mystery men or vampires!”

I looked at her sceptically.  The trouble was, I’d heard all of these assurances before and now my dog was talking to me, I couldn’t use the shower for fear of being sexually molested and the TV in the bedroom seemed to be permanently stuck on some obscure German porn channel.  The TV wasn’t even connected to the satellite.  I wanted to believe her, I truly did, but fool me once and all that.

I turned my back on her and continued making the coffees.

I took a seat beside her, slid her coffee across the table, and then proceeded to tell her everything that had happened.  It took a good ten minutes to finish and when I did, she took her first drink of the coffee, the expression on her face saying she wished it was alcohol, despite the early hour.

“So they do exist.  I always wondered,” she said at last.

“No, Becky, they don’t.  Just give it up!  This is down to you, admit it,” I demanded, a note of desperation in my voice.  It had to be her, didn’t it?

She looked at me angrily.  “I know I have possibly asked for this, given the number of times I have… interfered, let’s call it… without telling you.  But I swear to you on Monty’s life, this is not down to me.”

“Hey!” Monty’s head came up, a hurt expression on his face.  Even he didn’t believe her.

She scooped Monty up into her arms and cuddled him, burying her face in his fur, then looked up at me.

“You know how much I love Monty.  I wouldn’t swear if it wasn’t true,” she said, looking over his head.  Two pairs of big sad eyes regarded me.  I’d seen that look a million times.  I pursed my lips and folded my arms.

“I swear it!  I wouldn’t know where to start, for one.  How the hell do you conjure up a mythical supernatural creature such as a vampire?  It’s not me.  You need to believe me because this means you are truly in danger!”

I sagged in my chair.  My only hope had been that she would come clean and admit to casting some weird spell.  It would appear the vampire situation was real.

“It doesn’t make sense,” I said, resting my head on my arm.

“Why would they be after you?” Becky asked.

“I have no idea, but Tom said they hunt at nightclubs.  Remember the man in the car?  He thinks he could have been a vampire,” I replied.

“What, you climb in his car by mistake and now he wants you for dinner?” Becky looked at me, disbelieving.

“Well, what else could it be?” I asked, looking at Monty who was still giving me the big eyes treatment.

“Maybe it’s something to do with one of your visitors,” Monty almost whispered.

“How could it be?  They’re dead.  Aren’t vampires supposed to be the ‘undead’?” I asked.  I thought about what that meant.  Weren’t humans undead?  So what was the difference between a vampire and a human?  My head started to hurt as I tried to make sense of it all.

“Didn’t you say Tom was a slayer?  Maybe they weren’t after you, maybe they were after him,” Becky postulated.  She could have a point.

“There’s nothing else for it, then.  We have to go and see Tom,” I said at last.

***

“Oh, these are pretty,” said Becky, bending to smell a purple dahlia.

“We’re not here to buy plants,” I reminded her, looking around to see if I could spot Tom.  “Come on,” I said, grabbing her by the arm and marching through the shop and out the back into the open air where the larger plants were stored.  I spotted Tom, talking to a young sales girl who was looking at him as though he were a god.  I could see her point.  He was wearing jeans and a navy blue jumper and despite the clothes, you could tell the man was all muscle.  I groaned as thoughts of him standing there naked came unbidden to my mind.

“Is that him?” Becky whispered.

“Yes, that’s him,” I responded, trying to control the spark of jealousy as he wrapped his arm around the girl and guided her towards the front of the shop.  His head came up and he was smiling.  Then he caught sight of me and the smile disappeared.  He dropped his arm and said something to the girl I wasn’t close enough to hear, his eyes never leaving my face, and then he walked across to join us.

“Hi, I didn’t think you’d come,” he said at last, his eyes burning holes into me.  He remembered his manners and turned awkwardly to smile at Becky.

“This is Becky,” I said to him, looking between them to catch any spark of recognition.  Becky’s cheeks were flushed as she released his hand but other than that, I couldn’t tell if she knew him or not.  She might not be responsible for the blood suckers but I was absolutely certain she had something to do with Tom.

“We need to talk, but not here.  How about I come by your place after work?” he said, turning to me.

I thought about my visitors and their recent propensity for destroying things.  “No, let’s meet at the park,” I replied.

He frowned as he looked at me, disappointment evident in his expression. “I won’t be finished until six; it will be starting to get dark then.  The park’s not a good idea.”

“Come to the house,” said Becky, taking charge.  I glared at her and she pointedly ignored me.

“Jen?” Tom turned to me.

“All right, come to the house,” I snapped, belligerently.

“We’ll see you after six,” Becky said, grabbing my arm and dragging me away.

When we reached the door she pushed it open, dragging me through it and then turning on me.

“What is your problem?  Do you have to be so stand-offish all the time?”

I ignored her and bent to untie Monty from the post.  He looked like he was about to join in the character assassination and I glared at him in warning.

“I didn’t mean it to sound like he wasn’t welcome.  You know things are prone to go bump at my house.  Besides, I’m still not entirely convinced you haven’t had something to do with his sudden appearance in my life,” I replied, fumbling with the knot in the leash.  It wouldn’t come loose and I stared at it in exasperation.  “For Christ’s sake, Becky!  Did you think someone was going to steal him or what?  I need wire cutters to get this free.”

Becky shoved me out of the way and bent down, touching the leather with her index finger and it mysteriously unravelled itself.

“I’ve told you a million times, I had nothing to do with any of this,” she snapped.

“Oh yes?  And how many men with stars on their foreheads have you met lately?” I asked crossing my arms and glaring at her as she stood.

“Pure chance,” she replied, marching past me.  “And who are you to complain?  A sex god turns up in my life, I’m usually grateful!”

She continued to mumble as she stormed off towards the car.

This woman should have worked as a spy.  No one could get her to admit to anything.  I sighed and followed after her.

***

I opened the door to see Tom standing there, his hands in his pockets and a tentative smile on his face.  I increased the gap and stepped back, allowing him to enter.

“Becky’s in the kitchen,” I said, closing the door and following him down the hall.

“Hello Tom.  Nice to see you again,” Becky said as we both entered the room.  I just bet it is, I thought maliciously.

“Awe, shite," said Monty.  “It’s the Buffy wannabe.”

“Nice to see you too, Lassie,” replied Tom as he took the seat Becky indicated, laughing at the result of our shopping trip splayed across the table.

“I’m male,” snarled Monty.

“Really?  Well, wonders will never cease,” Tom said, flicking an imaginary speck of dust from his sleeve and picking up a bulb of garlic.

“Don’t start, you two,” I snapped as I took the seat furthest from Tom.

“This is pure myth, you know,” Tom said, trying hard not to laugh as he threw the garlic in the air and caught it.

“I tried to tell her,” I said, slinking down into a chair.

“Would you like a coffee?” Becky asked, ignoring us both.  Alongside the garlic were three crucifixes and a bottle of holy water she’d stolen from the local church.

Tom looked up and smiled at her.  My insides flipped. “That would be great, thanks.”

“Milk and two?”

“Just milk, I’m sweet enough.”

Becky busied herself with the coffee machine and I turned to Tom.

“So what have you found out?”

“Not a lot, yet.” He pulled his fingers through his hair.

“What, you don’t have your very own Rupert Giles feeding you all the juicy titbits?” asked Monty, derisively.

“Who the hell is Rupert Giles?” asked Becky.

Monty looked at her, startled.  “Clever dude?  Buffy the Vampire Slayer?”

Where the fuck did he get this all from?  I didn’t even watch Buffy!

Tom ignored him and turned his face to me.  “I’ve got a friend on it.  I’ve asked him to find out all he can about this Baptiste guy.  If he’s an ancient, we’ll find out soon enough.”

“What’s an ancient?” Becky asked.

“Let me guess…” jumped in Monty.  “… an old vampire.”

“Genius,” Tom replied, sarcastically.

“Who is this friend?” I asked, a suspicion forming in my mind.  Tom looked me in the eye.

“He’s a vampire, but he doesn’t hold with killing humans.  He used to be a slayer.  Now he helps me track those that kill.”

Becky looked at Tom, a startled expression on her face.

“So it’s true?  You are a vampire slayer?” she asked.

“Don’t hold it against me, it’s not like I had a choice,” Tom replied, his face full of thunder.

I looked at him, surprised.  I guess none of us really had a choice; we all just made the best of it.  I sat back in my chair, disappointed that he hadn’t been able to get any information yet.  “I just don’t get it.  You said I’d been followed the night at the park.  Why would they be out to get me?  Why would they want me enough to come twice?  Wouldn’t there be easier pickings just hanging out at the bars, as you said?”

Tom looked straight into my eyes and my heart did a flip.  “It could be that this Baptiste bloke took a fancy to you, or there could be some other reason.  You’re right; they wouldn’t usually go to so much trouble.  The town’s full of drunken fools they can easily target.”

I felt my face flush as I remembered the state I’d been in when we first met.

Becky put Tom’s coffee down in front of him and took a seat.  “So, they really want to kill her?”

“Or make her one of them.”   Tom took a sip of his coffee and smiled appreciatively at Becky who blossomed under his gaze.  The man definitely seemed to have an effect on women and I steeled my spine against him.

“Is there anything we can do to protect her?  Other than her staying home, that is,” Becky asked, picking at the edge of yet more garlic.

“I’m afraid not.  It’s not like on television where you can wear a crucifix or sprinkle them with holy water.  That just pisses them off.  We need to be worrying more about why they are hunting here than how to protect her.  For now, she’s safe here.”

“Any chance you can get some assistance from the other side?” Becky asked, turning to me.

Tom sat forward in his chair and I frowned at Becky.  I hadn’t wanted Tom to know.  I wondered for a second what he would make of it, then decided I didn’t care.  He shouldn’t judge me, not when he was walking around with pointy wooden stakes and killing vampires in his spare time.

“Spence?” I called.

Spence materialised, leaning against the door.  He straightened and took off his cap.  “Forgive me for eavesdropping.  I heard everything.”

“What do you know about vampires?”  I asked him.

Tom looked over his shoulder at the space occupied by Spence, then looked back at me confused.  Becky patted his hand in understanding and I fought an overwhelming urge to push her arm off the table.

“They survive on blood, they have no souls, come out at night, the usual,” Spence replied, looking flustered.

“I don’t suppose you have any more cute tricks up your sleeve that would help me to protect myself?” I asked.

“Sorry, not that I can think of,” Spence replied, looking suspiciously at Tom.

“You don’t know anyone on the other side who might be able to give me some pointers?” I asked, getting desperate.

“What?  You want me to ask dead people for tips on how to stay alive?” Spence snorted in disbelief.

“All right, smart arse.  What I’m saying is, there must surely be someone on the other side who has some experience with this sort of thing.  Maybe they can share their experiences.  You know?  Tell me how to protect myself?” I snapped.

Spence pinched his lips and gave me the goggle-eye look.  “I’ll do what I can.”

“Thanks Spence, I appreciate it,” I said as he turned, frowning again at Tom, and then disappeared from view.

I turned to face Tom.

“You can see ghosts?” he asked, incredulous.

“What’s wrong with that?” I demanded.  “At least I wasn’t responsible for killing them.”  The chair grated across the floor as I stood and walked away from the table.

“No… listen, I think it’s great.  I wasn’t trying to imply....”

“She’s a little sensitive about it,” said Becky and I turned just in time to see her tapping his hand again.

Becky looked at me, then jumped up from her seat.  “Well, it’s time for me to be off!    Spells to cast and toads to kiss,” she said, reaching for her bag.

“You’re a witch?” Tom asked, his eyes now like saucers.  Oh, for Christ’s sake!

Becky turned and winked at him.  “There’s more to life…” she quoted in a sing-song voice and sashayed out the door with Monty at her heels.

“You’ll bring me more treats tomorrow?” he asked, panting.

“Oh course my little darling,” Becky replied, bending down for a kiss and a hug.  I rolled my eyes.

“And you’ll be making the potion to undo your mess?” I asked, looking from her to Monty to Tom then back again.

Monty’s head spun round and he glared at me.  “You want her to shut me up, don’t you?  Admit it,” he demanded.  For a second, I felt a little guilty.

“Monty, dogs aren’t meant to talk to humans.”

“Sometimes you really piss me off,” he stated, then walked forward, bumped into Becky and marched around her and through the open door.

“You want my advice, you’ll lock up your best shoes,” Becky said as she watched him leave.  She blew a kiss at me and walked out of the kitchen.  After a second, I heard the door open and click shut behind her.

“I guess I should go, too,” said Tom, standing and looking into my eyes.  I wished he wouldn’t do that.  I felt my insides flutter and looked away.

“Well, thanks for coming round.  And… thanks for trying to help,” I said at last, feeling him waiting for me to say something.

He walked across to me until barely a foot of space was between us, close enough for me to catch the scent of his cologne.  Damn it, why did he have to be so sexy?

“Don’t take any stupid chances, Jen.  I’d hate for anything bad to happen to you.”

His hand came up and his fingers lightly gripped my arm.  My body tensed at his touch, but not because it was unpleasant.  In fact, it was just the opposite.  And therein lay the danger.  I pulled away, not trusting myself to speak.

He dropped his hand and turned towards the door.  “I’ll be by as soon as I have any news,” he said, then turned and left, closing the door softly behind him.  I flopped backwards and leaned against the bench, letting out the breath I hadn’t realised I had been holding.

“You so want to shag him,” shouted Monty from the living room.

I straightened up and glared at the door.  “I do not!”

“Liar!”

7 – Under Attack

Jen

The sound of shattering glass woke me out of a troubled sleep and I sat up in bed, not fully awake and wondering what had disturbed me.  A thump downstairs set my heart racing and the sound of Monty barking finally pulled me out of my stupor and had me running for the door.  I took the stairs two at a time as the barking changed to snarling.  Whoever it was, Monty had his teeth into him.

The sounds were coming from the living room.  I detoured quickly into the kitchen and picked up the biggest knife I owned  then darted back into the hall, my heart pounding and my hands shaking in fear.  For a second, my hand hesitated on the door knob, then I heard a whine followed by a thump.  I pushed my fear aside and darted into the room.  If anything happened to Monty, I’d never forgive myself.

Monty was lying on his side next to the over-turned sofa and I turned in time to see the malevolent spirit just as he hurled my coffee table across the room.  I had to jump to my left to avoid being clobbered by it.  Without thinking, I raised my hand and banished him.  As relief washed over me, a hand fisted in my hair and I realised I’d made a terrible mistake.

I was thrown bodily against the wall, cracking my head hard enough to see stars.  I slid down the wall, fighting to hold on to consciousness.

Whoever it was picked me up bodily, snatching the knife from my fingers.  My feet were off the floor and my hands came up instinctively.  I had a momentary look at the man who had me in his grips as my fingers closed around his head, my thumbs going instinctively to his eye-sockets.  I pushed as hard as I could, digging my nails into the soft flesh.  I saw the blade as he raised the knife above his head and I was sure this was it.  My end.

A blur of motion came from my left and just as the knife started to arc down towards me, a weight landed on both me and my attacker and we went sailing through the air, landing in a heap on the floor.  I realised I was free and tried desperately to scramble away as whoever had come to my rescue fought to restrain my attacker.

I looked behind me as I climbed unsteadily to my feet to see my attacker now sitting on top of the person who’d come to my rescue and raise the knife.  Without thinking, I picked up a vase of flowers from the unit and smashed it down on his head just as Monty launched himself through the air and fastened his teeth around the arm holding the knife.  If life was the way it’s portrayed on the television, the blow I’d landed would have been enough to knock the attacker out, or at least topple him off whoever was trying to help me.  In reality, however, all that happened was he was momentarily distracted.  Monty wasn’t having much luck either as he just hung in the air, still attached to the arm as it came down, the knife still gripped firmly in the biggest hand I’d ever seen.

I was sure my rescuer was done for and I launched myself on to the assailant’s back, digging my fingers once more into his eye sockets.  We both toppled sideways, and he landed heavily on top of me.  I felt warmth in my shoulder but realised the attacker was no longer moving.  I tried to push him off, but I wasn’t strong enough, and I felt the panic start in my chest as I found it difficult to breathe.

Then the fire started up in my shoulder.

“Jen, don’t move, your hurt.”

It was Tom.  What was he doing here?

Tom pushed the dead weight off me and I looked down to see myself covered in blood.  Bloody great.  I’d never get that out of the carpet, I thought, marvelling at what my mind chose to worry about as I slipped into oblivion.

***

The beep, beep, beep sound woke me and I struggled to raise my arm to switch off the alarm, all the while wondering why it was making such a strange sound and not playing the radio as it normally did.  Fingers closed around my hand and my eyes flew open to see the face of my mother, smiling down at me with tears in her eyes.

“Hello sweetheart.  How are you feeling?” she whispered.  The room was in darkness but I realised immediately I was no longer at home.  The beeping wasn’t my alarm, it was some sort of monitor and I was in a hospital.  The smell was a dead giveaway.

“Why am I here?  What happened?” I asked as I tried to sit up.  Mum pushed me back down into the bed just as my father walked into my line of sight.

“You were attacked, sweetheart, but you’re going to be fine,” he said, smiling at me.

Then it came back to me.  The intruder.  Monty and Tom fighting with him.  Panic took over.

“Are Monty and Tom ok?” I asked, struggling to sit up again.

My mother pushed me back down.  “They’re fine, don’t worry, but try not to move.”

“Tom is just getting patched up now.  He’ll be into see you shortly.  Johnny’s taken Monty to our house for now,” Dad said as he sat on the edge of the bed, his hand going to my stomach.

“You need to rest.  Sleep,” Mum said as she placed her hand over my forehead.  Fog descended on me and I allowed it to overtake me, in awe at the calmness that washed over me and soothed my senses.  Her touch was like magic.  Maybe there was something my mother hadn’t told me.

***

“You’re a weirdo, Jennifer Owens, and we don’t want your kind in our school,” Melanie Hunter said as she took a step toward me.

I stood my ground, maintaining eye contact as my dad had told me to and saying nothing, waiting for her next move.

“Well, go on then.   Get out of here,” she snarled.

I didn’t move, not a muscle, but I felt my stomach turn in fear.  Melanie had been making my life hell for years but this time I was determined to stand up to her, no matter what happened.  Anything had to be better than constantly living in fear.

She lifted her hand and poked me in the shoulder and a searing pain almost brought me to my knees.  I bit my tongue to stop myself from crying out.

“Jen?  You’re ok, you’re safe, it’s just a dream,” Tom’s voice said and my eyes flew open to see him leaning over me, his face inches from mine and his eyes full of concern.

I shook off the remnants of the dream and looked around, confused.  The hospital.  I was still in the hospital. And I was still attached to a monitor.

“What happened?” I asked, trying to clear the fog from my brain.

“You were attacked, but you’re safe now.  You’re going to be fine,” he said as he moved a stray hair from my face.  I looked up into his blue eyes and felt my insides melting.  I pulled away sharply, causing a twinge of pain to shoot out from my wounded shoulder.

Dad came in carrying two Styrofoam cups.  Seeing me awake, he placed the cups on the side table and rushed beside me, Tom stepping aside to give him access.

“Hey princess, how’re you feeling?” he asked, the bags under his eyes and the five o'clock shadow making him seem aged.  He’d obviously been up all night.

“I need a drink,” I said, hoarsely.

He reached across to get me a glass of water.  “Just a sip,” he said as he tilted the glass to my lips.  It felt like heaven as the cold liquid slid down my parched throat.

I let my head flop back down on to the pillow.  “Can someone please tell me what happened?” I asked, looking at my father.

“You were stabbed.  You lost a lot of blood but you’re going to be fine.”

“What happened to the man who attacked me?” I asked, looking from Dad to Tom.  Tom’s eyes dropped to the floor.

“You don’t have to worry about him anymore,” Mum said, coming in from the doorway.  I didn’t miss the hand that patted Tom on the back as she passed him.  “You know, you could have told us you have a boyfriend,” Mum said, smiling at me.  My eyes flew to Tom and his face flushed, his eyes warning me to say nothing.

“You’ll be good to go home once you’ve been checked out by the doctor,” Dad said, looking from me to Tom.  There was a question in his eyes but he said nothing.  I imagine he was hurt that I hadn’t confided in him.  He took Mum by the arm.  “We’ll give you kids a minute.  I need to go and speak to the Registrar.”

He turned Mum away towards the door.  She didn’t seem too happy about it but she allowed him to guide her out of the room.

The second the door closed behind them, I looked across at Tom.  “Alright boyfriend, want to tell me exactly what’s going on?”

“How else was I going to explain being at your house in the middle of the night?” he asked, taking the chair next to the bed and leaning forward, his eyes searching my face.

“Want to explain it to me?”

“I was just making sure you were safe.”

“How long had you been there?”

He blushed.  “All night. I never left.”

He’d been keeping watch, to keep me safe?  I didn’t know what to think about that but two thoughts were fighting to be heard.  The first being the age old complaint I’d had as a child.  I didn’t need anyone to protect me.  I’d learned to fight my own battles.  And the second was amazement that this man, who I hardly knew, had sat up all night watching over me?  Becky’s spell must be really strong.

“I thought vampires couldn’t get into the house,” I asked, dropping my eyes.

“He wasn’t a vampire.  I think he was a hired thug, probably sent by the vampires because they couldn’t get to you,” he replied.

I turned to look at him again.  “Is he dead?”

His eyes bore into me and I marvelled at the flecks of blue.  “Yes.”

“He didn’t stab me, did he?” I asked.  The pain had happened when he’d landed on top of me.  The knife must have gone straight through him and punched through me when he’d fallen on top of me.

“It wasn’t a knife.  I’d shot him with a stake.  You were impaled on it when you jumped on him.”

I felt my face burn.  “How are you going to explain that one to the police?” I asked.

“Don’t worry about it.  I have friends on the force,” he said.  He dropped his gaze.

“Tom, I….” I sat there, trying to put my feelings into words.  “I don’t know what to say, other than thank you,” I said finally.

The door handle turned, and I tore my eyes away from him to see Becky smiling as she poked her head around the door.

“Is it safe to come in?” she asked, looking between Tom and me.

Tom jumped to his feet and vacated the seat to allow Becky to get closer to me.

“So, faker, how are you feeling?”

“Like I could run a marathon.”  I smiled at her.

“That’s good, because girl you’ve got some dusting to do when you get home.”

I frowned.  “Is my place a mess?”

“Don’t worry, Joe took me over there earlier and we cleaned it up.”

“What about the blood?” I asked.

“Your Dad bought you a new carpet.  Joe and Toby are fitting it as we speak.”

“Good, now all I need to do is get out of here.”

“I don’t want to interfere, but please tell me you aren’t planning on going back home to stay,” Tom said, a frown on his face.

“I have to, Tom.  There are others depending on me.  Besides, I want to find out what Mr Angry wants and why he was trying to fight off the attacker.”

“Who the hell is Mr. Angry?” he asked.

“He’s a spirit,” I replied as I tried to sit up in the bed.

Becky’s eyes were as big as saucers.  “He was trying to help you?”

“I don’t know, Becky, but he threw a table across the room. At first I thought he was aiming for me but when I think about it, I had just entered the room and I hadn’t realised the attacker was behind me.  I think that was who he was aiming at.”

Tom walked across to the window, clearly agitated.  “Can’t you talk to him anywhere?  Why does it have to be back there?  It’s not safe there for you now.”

“I’m not being pushed out of my home by a bunch of blood suckers and common criminals,” I replied, determined.

The door opened again and Mum and Dad came back into the room.

“The registrar is coming round to see you now, honey.”  Mum came over and stood by the bed.  “The police need a statement from you.  I’ve arranged for them to come to our house tomorrow.  You’re coming home with us until we know you’re safe.”  She had the look on her face that said she was brooking no arguments and Tom smirked behind her back.

“No Mum, I’m going to my own home.  I’ll be fine.  It was probably just some chancer trying to find some valuables to steal.”

“Sweetheart, I think your mother’s right.  I think you should come home and spend some time with us, at least until we get your house alarmed.”  Dad stood behind Mum and put his hand on her shoulder.

I looked at Becky for support and she jumped right in.  “Tom will stay with her, won’t you Tom?”

I could have choked the living daylights out of her.

“Well, if your parents think you should go home….”

I wondered if it was because he was worried about my safety or he just didn’t want to be stuck with me.  Well, hey ho, I wasn’t too enamoured at the thought of having to spend time with him either, hero or not.  I had enough complications in my life.

“I’m fine!  I don’t want anyone there and I want to be at home.” I felt my face flush in anger.

Mum looked at me, her mouth pursed in a grim line.  “It’s one or the other, Jen.  Make your mind up.  Home with us or your own home with Tom.  What’s it to be?”

“Mum, I know you’re worried but really....”

“What’s it to be?” she demanded, folding her arms.

“All right!  Tom can come and stay with me for a while, can’t you sweetheart?” I said sweetly.

Tom looked at me, then at Mum.  “Certainly, I’d be happy to help.”

My heart did a little flip flop just looking at him and I groaned, wondering how on earth I’d get by, sharing my home with him, even if it were only for a few days.

“Fine, that’s settled,” Dad said, turning as the registrar came smiling into the room.

***

I looked around my living room and felt an overwhelming urge to cry.  My father had not only bought me a new carpet, he’d bought a new coffee table and Becky had filled a new vase full of orange and yellow flowers, in an attempt to cheer the place up.  The only sign of the events from the previous evening was a large dint in the wall where it had been struck by the coffee table.  Even the broken window had been repaired.

Toby came up behind me.  “I wasn’t sure if you’d like the colour but it seems to blend in ok,” he said, putting his arms around my shoulders and resting his chin on my head as he looked at my new carpet.

“It’s great, thank you.” I turned in his arms and gave him a hug.  It wasn’t often my big brother showed any affection toward me and I revelled in it.

“Now remember, Jen, the house alarm is being installed tomorrow so you need to stay home,”  Mum said as she picked up the vase and sniffed the flowers.

“She’ll be home,” Dad said, eyeballing me.  He’d given me instructions to stay at home for the rest of the week.  His phone started to chirp in his pocket and he pulled it out, looking at the screen.  I looked across at Mum who was feigning a deep interest in a particularly pretty flower until Dad walked out, and then she turned and looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

Becky came into the room carrying a tray of coffees and set it down gently on the table.

“Sorry, I couldn’t find the biscuits.  I think Joe might have eaten them all this morning.”  She handed me a coffee and another to Tom.

I stood the coffee back down on the tray and grabbed Mum by the arm. “I’ll go take a look,” I said, dragging Mum with me.

Once we were safely in the kitchen, I shut the door and leaned up against it.

“Have you talked to Dad yet?” I asked her.

“I wanted to but something happened,” she replied, avoiding my eyes.

“So, are you going to tell me about it?” I asked after she’d been silent for another minute.  It was like pulling teeth.

“I bumped into Harriet when I dropped your father’s lunch off yesterday.  She couldn’t look me in the eye.”

“Oh Mum, no!”  Harriet was Dad’s paediatric assistant.  There was no way she’d do this to Mum.  She was almost a part of the family.

“It doesn’t mean it’s her,” Mum snapped.  “But I think she definitely knows something.”

“Mum, will you please, please stop procrastinating and sit Dad down?  You won’t know one way or the other until you do that.”  And she’d definitely know.  One thing I knew about my Dad was that if you asked him, he would tell you the truth.

“When the time’s right, I will, I promise.”  She took a seat at the table.  “Are you going to tell me who this Tom is?” she asked.  Nice change of subject, I thought.  Now I was on the hot seat as I still wasn’t sure what Tom had told them.

“There’s nothing to tell.  We’re dating, that’s all.”

“He seems like a nice man,” she said, eyeing me suspiciously.

“What, you think I only date deadbeats?” I snorted, pulling open the cupboards to see if we had any biscuits left.  Joe had cleaned me out.

Mum ignored my question and leaned across the table, folding her arms and looking at me.  “So how long have you two been an item?”

“It’s fairly recent, Mum.  We’re not even sure we’re right for each other so don’t go buying a hat just yet,” I said as I slammed the cupboard closed.

“What’s not to be sure about?  He’s handsome; some might even say sexy,” she smiled, teasing me.

“Yes, all right, maybe he is, but there’s more to life than sex,” I replied, turning in time to see Tom leaning against the kitchen door, a bulging suitcase in one hand and a smirk on his face.  He dropped the bag.

“That’s not what you were saying last night.”  He sauntered across to me and pulled me into his arms, then kissed me on the forehead as I froze.  What the hell was he playing at?  And in front of my mother!

Mum laughed.  “Well, you just make sure you take care of her,” she said as she stood and walked out of the kitchen, giving us a moment of privacy.  I took the opportunity and stamped my foot down on top of Tom’s.

“Ouch!  What was that for?” Tom asked, hopping on one foot.

“Don’t go giving her ideas,” I said, putting some distance between us.  “And you’re sleeping in the spare room.”

I marched out of the kitchen, listening to the sound of Monty sniggering from beneath the kitchen table.

8 – Little White Lies

We stood at the door, waving everyone off and once again, Tom took full advantage of the situation, standing with his arm draped around my shoulders and playing the ever-loving boyfriend to the hilt.  The second the last car rounded the bend in the road I dug him in the ribs with my elbow and walked off into the living room.

I listened as he locked the door and the deadbolts slid into place, and felt momentarily guilty.  He’d saved my life yesterday, and he was going out of his way to help me.  Surely he had his own life to lead and yet here he was, willing to put in on hold to ensure my safety.  Maybe I should cut him some slack.

Then he walked into the living room with that smirk on his face and I instantly wanted to punch him.

“Well, lover, I’ve brought us pizza for lunch.  Now usually, I expect my women to cook for me but since you’re incapacitated…,” he nodded at my arm, “… I’ll make an exception and cook for you.  Don’t get used to it.  This is a one off.”

The only thing close to hand was the lovely vase Becky had brought, but I still considered lobbing it after his retreating back as he chuckled and left the room.

I settled myself on the sofa and decided, if I had to be housebound with the sexy but completely irritating vampire slayer, then I’d make the most of it. He wanted to play the ever-loving boyfriend, then why not take advantage of the situation?

“Tom!” I screamed.

He came running back into the room, a look of alarm on his face and poised in a ready-for-action stance.  The tight muscles in his thighs and chest caught my attention and for a moment, I forgot what I’d called him back for.  I gave myself a mental slap.  Ogling his admittedly fine form wasn’t going to help. I smiled sweetly at him.

“Could you be a dear and bring me a drink, please?  I’m feeling a little parched, what with all the blood loss and everything.”  I gave him the Monty look - big sad eyes.

He straightened and arched his eyebrow at me. Saying nothing, he walked out of the room, returning moments later with a glass of orange juice.  He set it down on the coffee table and I gave him points for using a coaster.

“Anything else, your majesty?” he asked.

“No, I’m fine for now, thank you,” I said primly. I took a sip of the juice, watching him covertly over the rim of the glass as he turned and left the room again.

I waited until I heard the fridge door open.

“Tom!” I shouted, and once again he came running.  He arrived sans the stance, and I stifled my disappointment.

“Could you pass me the remote?  I’d like to watch a little television.” I smiled sweetly.

He walked across to the table and bent to retrieve the remote, treating me to a view of his sexy arse as he did so.  Heaven.  The man was certainly built.

He turned and handed the remote to me, a grin on his face.  The bastard knew I’d been ogling him. I snatched the remote out of his hands, and he chuckled as he stalked back out the room.

I channel-hopped until I found something I liked, then squealed with delight when I came across a channel showing ‘Bridget Jones’ Diary’, pulling my legs up beneath me and settling in, taking a drink of the cold orange juice Tom had brought me.

We were just at the part where Bridget slides down the fireman’s pole when the door bell sounded and I knew, before Tom opened it, who it was.  Joe, the mighty detective.  I pressed pause on the TV just as Bridget’s arse came on display and waited.

Joe walked into the living room, a uniformed officer with him, his eyes immediately landing on the TV and he laughed, making a face at the screen.  Pervert.

Tom disappeared back into the kitchen to finish making lunch.  I wish he had stayed. I was terrified I was going to tell them something other than what he’d already said and Joe was a bloodhound when it came to lies.

“Hey sis,” Joe said, bending down to kiss my forehead.  “This is officer Davenport.  He’s going to take your statement.”

I waved at the detective, trying my best to smile.  “Hi.”

He looked at me and smiled in return.  “Miss Owens, I just need to get your version of events for the file, if that’s ok with you?”  He took a seat and pulled out his notebook and Dictaphone, obviously not the slightest bit interested in my answer.  Joe sat on the arm of the sofa, resting his hand on my shoulder.

“Just tell us in your own words what happened,” Joe said, stroking my head as the detective switched on the Dictaphone.

“You don’t mind if I…,” he paused half way to placing the device on the table and looked at me.  I shook my head in answer.

“We’d gone to bed at about midnight,” I started, feeling Joe’s hand tense on my shoulder.  I looked at him and rolled my eyes.  I’m a big girl now, he’d have to get used to the fact that his sister had a sex life.  A make believe one, in this case.

“I heard breaking glass, and we both came down to investigate.  Tom went first, and the thief attacked him with a knife.  I jumped on his back as Tom pulled the knife out of his hands.  The force of my weight on his back pushed the attacker forward, and he landed on the knife.  It went through him and through my shoulder,” I repeated word for word what Tom had told me to say.

“And the knife didn’t belong to you or Tom?” PC Davenport asked.

“No.  I’ve never seen it before in my life,” I said, glad that I hadn’t picked one from the set that would be easily recognised.

“You’d locked the house?  All the windows were closed?” Joe asked, looking at me intently.

“Yes!” I snapped.  “I’m not stupid.  I’d closed the curtains, locked the windows and doors - there was nothing that would make the house an easier target.”

Joe had given me the lecture a million times before I’d moved in on my own.

“There’s no one you know who has a grudge against you or Tom?” the constable asked.

“No.  I believe it was a burglar on the prowl - nothing more,” I stated, feeling my face burn and knowing that Joe was watching me seemed to make it worse.  I didn’t dare look him in the eye.

“How long have you and Tom known each other?” he asked me and once again I felt Joe tense up.

Oh shit, I wasn’t prepared for this.

“Not long,” I replied, not committing myself to anything.  I watched as Joe’s eyebrow rose.  Oh great, now he thought I was a slut.

“Where did you meet?” Joe asked.

“At the park. I was walking Monty, and he was jogging.” Keep as close to the truth as possible, Tom had said.

“So he’s from round here?” Joe asked.

I looked up at him and glared.  “What’s with the twenty questions, Joe?  I’ve told you what happened.  Tom saved my life, be bloody grateful and stop digging into my personal life!”

Joe had the grace to blush.  “Sorry, sis.  I can’t help myself sometimes.”  He kissed me on the forehead and jumped up from the sofa.  “I’ll just use the facilities while you finish up here,” he said to the policemen and left the room.  I breathed a sigh of relief until I heard him walking into the kitchen.  Oh shit.

PC Davenport continued to ask me more questions on whether or not I’d heard any cars or had seen anything suspicious in the village of late.  All run of the mill and routine questions according to him, but I just wanted him to finish and get the hell out.  I needed to find out what Joe was up to.  Older brothers meddled, I understood that, but his being a detective just made his meddling ten times worse.

Finally, the policemen reached across and switched off the Dictaphone.

“Thanks for your time, Miss Owens.  I’ll have the report typed up and drop by to get it signed, if that’s ok with you?”

“Sure.  No problem,” I replied, standing as Joe came back into the room, carrying a piece of my pizza.

“All good?” he asked the policeman.

“Yeah, it definitely sounds like a burglary gone wrong.”  He turned to look at me.  “It’s a little worrying that he came armed but it was lucky your boyfriend was here to protect you.”   PC Davenport slid his notebook back into his top pocket and fastened the button.  I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at him.  What was it that men always thought women had to be protected?

“Do you know who the man was?” I asked.

“We’re still searching against his fingerprints but that can take awhile.  All we know is he’s not local,” PC Davenport responded.

Joe swallowed his pizza, then turned to me, grinning.

“Nice bloke, that Tom,” he said and kissed me on the forehead.  “See you soon, Jen.”

I followed them out to the hall where Tom was propped up against the wall with his arms folded.  He looked Joe in the eye as he left and I couldn’t help feeling a silent message had been passed.

“I’ll see you at Mum’s,” Joe shouted over his shoulder as they both climbed into Joe’s unmarked police car. I watched as he reversed off the drive and wondered why Tom didn’t feel the need to wrap his arm around me as he had with the rest of the family.  Not that I wanted him to.  When the car disappeared out of sight, I turned and walked back into the living room as Tom locked the door.

Tom came back into the room, carrying a tray of pizza.  He’d even made a side salad, and I wondered momentarily where he’d gotten the healthy food from.  It certainly wasn’t from my fridge.  I picked up a thick slice of cheese and ham, strings of cheese hanging over the side.

“So what did Joe have to say to you?” I asked before taking a bite.

Tom shrugged.  “He’s your brother.  He’s just watching out for you,” he replied as he pulled off a slice of pizza for himself.

Man-code for mind your own business.  Well, I wasn’t so easily put off.  “He didn’t give you the third degree?”

Tom looked at me and smiled.  “Stop worrying.  He’s checked me out.  That’s fine.  I’ve given him the name of a friend of mine on the force who can vouch for me and he’s happy with that.”

Monty whined.

“I think he needs to go out,” I said, looking greedily at my food and not moving.

“He can go out into the garden.  I’m not leaving you,” Tom said, placing his pizza back on the plate and standing, turning to the door.  “Come on, mutt,” he shouted over his shoulder.  Monty gave me a dirty look and followed him out.

I pressed the play button on the TV remote and silently gave Tom points for not ogling Bridget’s arse.

I had just settled in again and demolished half a slice of pizza when the doorbell rang.  Damn the man, he’d locked himself out. I pressed pause again and stormed into the hall.

“You should have taken the keys, I’m a sodding invalid,” I grumbled, as I pulled the door open to see Mabel standing there in all her blue-haired glory, sporting the ugliest fur coat I’d ever laid eyes on.  I wasn’t entirely convinced it was dead.

“M-M-Mabel,” I stammered, shocked.  What was she doing here?  And how did she know where I live?

“Jennifer, darling, I was so worried about you when you weren’t at work today,” she said, clasping her handbag in front of her.  “I do hope you don’t mind dear, but I was in the neighbourhood and thought I’d drop by, and see how you were.”

She pushed past me straight into the house, her head going backwards and forwards like a demented chicken.  Was she checking out my house?

I followed her as she made her way into the living room.

“Mabel, I’m fine but how the hell do you know where I live?” I asked her.

She ignored my question and spun round impressively fast on her five inch heels.  Her beady little eyes - over-made in pink eye shadow, I might add - gave me the once over and settled on my bandaged arm.

“No time for that now, dear.  What happened to you?” she took me by my good arm and guided me back to my chair, glaring down at the pizza in obvious distaste at my choice of food.

“I was attacked… I’m fine… Mabel, what are you doing here?” I asked.  Surely, she hadn’t come here for sex aids.  I was at a complete loss.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” she started, just as Tom came crashing into the room, then came to an abrupt halt.

He turned and glared at me.  “You do know you left the door wide open?” he said angrily, as Monty came slinking in and crawled under the table.  Then he turned and saw Mabel.  “Oh.  Sorry, I didn’t realise you had a guest.”

“Tom, this is Mabel, a customer from work,” I said, trying to get across that this wasn’t a normal occurrence.

“I’m pleased to meet you, Tom.  Are you two, erm…”

We both spoke at once.

“Yes,” Tom said.

“No.”

I looked at Tom, exasperated.

“Well, which is it?”  Mabel asked, primly.  “What I’m asking is, are you close enough that you know about Jennifer’s special talents?”

I looked at her, shocked to the core.  She knew?  What the hell was going on?

Tom looked at her suspiciously.  “Just who are you?” he asked.

“I’m Mabel Merriweather, and I’m here because Jennifer is in danger.”

“Awe Christ in a bucket, not another one,” I said, reaching the end of my patience.  “Do tell me, who’s after me now?  We’ve got vampires and three wise men; you must be here about the bloody aliens.”

They both looked at me, confused.

“What three wise men?” they both asked together.

“Of everything I said, that is the only thing that confused you?” I asked in disbelief.

“Look, let’s start again.”  Tom turned to Mabel.  “Exactly who are you, and what are you doing here?”

Mabel teetered over to a chair and took a seat.  “If you don’t mind, I don’t think this is going to be quick, and these shoes are killing me.”

Tom took a seat beside me on the sofa, his thigh touching mine and a spark of electricity made its way up my leg.  I ignored it, too bloody angry and confused to care.

Mabel took off one shoe and rubbed her ankle, a look of bliss on her face.  “Ah, that’s better.”

“We’re still waiting, Mabel,” Tom prompted her, his elbows resting on his knees as he sat forward in the chair.  He was as eager as I was to hear what she had to say.

Mabel glared at him and huffed.  “Two days ago, Jennifer was sent protection by a close, personal friend of mine.  That protection detail hasn’t been seen since.  Do you happen to know anything about that?”  She glared at Tom.

“What protection? Mabel you’re not making any sense.  How do you know about me and who are you, really, because I’m pretty damn sure you aren’t here to buy another vibrator?” I said, sarcastically.

Monty sniggered and Tom looked at me, stunned into silence.  He opened his mouth and I put up my hand to stop him.  “Don’t ask,” I said, shaking my head.

“Jen, I’ve been less than honest with you, I admit it,”  Mabel started, then stopped, shaking her head.  “I don’t know where to start,” she said, exasperated.

“How about at the beginning?” Tom prompted her.

“The beginning, yes.  Well, I….”

“What the hell is she doing here?” Spence shouted from the door.  I turned around to see him glaring at Mabel, who was in turn looking at me, a confused expression on her face.  Tom jumped up from the sofa and looked in the direction of my gaze.  Not that it did him any good, he couldn’t see anything.

“Spence, what the hell?  Do you know Mabel?” I asked, confused.  Tom and Mabel both looked at me, not moving an inch and I heard an audible gasp from Mabel.

“That is my ex-wife.  What the hell is she doing here?” he asked, still glaring at her but otherwise not moving a muscle.

“Your wife?” I stood up in shock, looking between them.  Mabel’s face went white as a sheet.

“Ex,” insisted Spence, still glaring at Mabel.

Tears formed in Mabel’s eyes.  “Spencer?” she asked, looking about the room.  “Is he here?”

“What’s she doing here, Jen?” Spencer asked again, turning to face me, although I could see he was itching to look at Mabel.

“I don’t know Spence, she was just about to tell us when you showed up.”

He promptly disappeared.  Things were going from strange to ridiculous.

I looked sadly at the space he’d vacated.  “He’s gone,” I said softly.  I felt a strange lump in my throat and wondered if Spence would ever come back.

Tom sat back down looking slightly shaken up.  Mr. Tough Guy didn’t seem too happy to be in the presence of ghosts and I filed that one away for later.

I turned back to Mabel.  “All right, Mrs.  You’ve got five minutes to tell me who you are and why you’re here, and then you’re out,” I said harshly.

Mabel pursed her lips and glared at me.  “All right.  Spencer was my husband.  We had a son, Jonathan.” Her eyes watered again, and for a second I thought she would break down completely.  She pulled her shoulders back and continued.

“Jonathan was a clever man. I have no idea where he got it from because it certainly wasn’t from me or his father,” she snorted.  “He was a gene specialist and had been working on a research project looking at promoting DNA repair.  I don’t understand the whole process but apparently many cancers are caused by DNA mutations, caused by lesions or damage to DNA.  The research project was looking at mechanisms to promote DNA repair as a preventative measure for cancer.”

“That’s very nice for you Mabel but what does that have to do with me?” I asked, not wanting to listen to a biology lesson.  Tom patted my hand in a silent message to be patient.

“Jonathan was targeted by some… people, who wanted him to undertake a completely different kind of DNA research.”

“What kind of research?” Tom asked.

Mabel pursed her lips and looked at him, then turned to me.

“Can’t we talk alone?”

“Absolutely not,” Tom said, staring at her.

“Mabel, whatever you’ve got to say, you can say it in front of Tom,” I replied.

She sat there for another minute before speaking.  “They were vampires,” she said at last.

“Vampires?  What would vampires want with your son?” I asked, confused.

“They wanted him to research something entirely different.”  She sighed.  “They wanted him to come up with something to make it possible for them to come out during the day.”

“Oh?  So where is he now?” I asked.

“They turned him into one of them.”  Mabel stopped a second and opened her bag, taking out a tissue and dabbing at her eyes.

I looked at her in shock.

“So your son is a vampire?” Tom asked, his face a mask, giving away no emotion.

“Past tense.  Was,” Mabel continued, dropping her bag to the floor beside her.

“He was killed?” I asked.

“Will you let me finish?” Mabel demanded.

I sat back in my chair, suitably chastised.

“Jonathan was turned, and he started working on their sunlight cure.  They set him up in a lab and for two years, he worked on his research.  Only he wasn’t looking for the cure they wanted.  He was looking for a cure for vampirism, something that would undo the damage and allow the vampires to become human again.”

“Did he find it?” Tom asked, a twitching muscle in the side of his face the only giveaway that this news excited him.

Mabel’s grey eyes bore into Tom.  “Yes,” she replied.

Tom jumped up from the seat, pulling his hands through his hair.

“My God, that’s incredible,” he said.  His t-shirt had lifted at the front and I gazed at his navel, agreeing with him completely.

“Before you get too excited, you’d better sit down and let me tell you the rest,” Mabel responded.

Tom spun round to look at her. When it became apparent she wasn’t going to continue until he did as he was told, he dutifully took his seat.

“Jonathan found the cure, but he needed to test it, make sure it worked.  Not wanting to use the victims the vampires had turned for the purpose, he tested it on himself.  He became human again.”

Mabel dabbed at her eyes again as though overcome with emotion.  Not wanting to interrupt, I said nothing and waited for her to continue.

“The vampire who had him turned wasn’t interested in losing his immortality or his strength.  He wasn’t interested in becoming human again.  Jonathan knew this.  He warned me what could happen.  I haven’t seen nor heard from Jonathan since.  That was three weeks ago.  I think he’s dead.”

“And his cure?” Tom asked.  I gasped at his callousness.

“It was all in his head.  He’d not written it down.”

At this point Mabel couldn’t hold the tears back any longer and they streamed down her face as Tom and I sat watching her.  I tried to stay away but I couldn’t watch her in distress any longer.  I moved over to her, sitting on the arm of the chair, and hugged her as she cried, looking over her head at Tom.

Tom rested his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands.  For me, having just come into contact with vampires, this was incredible news.  For Tom, it must have been even bigger.  He’d been fighting these monsters all his life.  I tried to imagine what it must be like for him, hearing the news that a cure had been found.  Something that might free him from the constant battle.  Something that would allow him to lead a normal life.  Gone.

Mabel stirred in my arms and pushed me away, wiping away the last tears from her face and in the process streaking her mascara and pink eye shadow across her cheek.  What with her blue hair and bright red lips, she wasn’t a pretty picture.

“Is that why you need me?” I asked, understanding dawning.  “You want me to see if your son is actually dead?  You want me to talk to him?”

“Yes.”

Tom’s head snapped up.  “You could do that?” he asked.

“I don’t know.  I don’t know if vampires actually have souls and if they do, I’m not entirely sure they wouldn’t go straight to hell.”

“He was a human when he died and even as a vampire, he was never an evil man,” Mabel said, her chin lifting in defiance.

“If that’s true, and he has a soul, I’d need Spence’s help to find him,” I replied.

Mabel’s shoulders drooped again.  “Well there’s our problem, then,” she said.  “Spencer won’t want anything to do with his son.”

I looked at her sharply.  “Why not?” I asked.

“Because Jonathan was the one who killed him.”

“Oh my God.  I thought he died of a heart attack,” I said, shocked.

Mabel looked up at me sadly.  “No, Jonathan attacked him.  It wasn’t his fault, really.  He’d tried going without blood for too long and he was consumed with blood lust.  Spencer just showed up at the wrong time.  Jonathan never forgave himself.”

“I need a drink,” Tom said, standing and looking down at the now cold remains of pizza on the table.  “Got any alcohol in this place?” he asked me.

“There’s beer in the fridge or brandy in the cupboard,” I said, my mind a whirl of questions that needed answers.

“I’ll take a shot of that brandy, if you can spare it,” Mabel said.

Tom picked up the remains of our lunch, then walked into the kitchen as I followed behind him.  Completely on automatic and still trying to process what Mabel had told us, I pulled three glasses from the cupboard.

Tom watched me as I pulled the brandy from the shelf and closed the cupboard door, his face telling me he was as bewildered as I was.  “Do you believe her?” he asked, his eyes boring holes into mine.  I turned away from him and continued to pour the drinks.

“Why would she lie?  And Spence was obviously married to her, so that backs up a part of her story.”

He walked over to me, putting his hand on my arm.  I was shocked to find myself with an overpowering urge to turn to him and wrap myself around his body.  I looked up into his eyes.

“Just be careful and remember, everything needs to be checked out before we go off on some wild goose chase.  Something just isn’t sitting right with me, and my instincts are usually pretty good.”

He picked up the tray of drinks and carried them into the living room as I stood, dumbfounded, watching after him.

I walked back into the living room just as Mabel guzzled down her brandy and placed the glass back down on to the table.  Tom waited for me to sit before sitting beside me, his thigh once again touching mine.  I was convinced the bastard was doing it on purpose and pulled my leg away from him.  I needed my wits about me and his touch was making it very difficult to concentrate.

“So, Mabel, your son was turned into a vampire.  He found a cure and then disappeared.  Do I have it right so far?” Tom asked.

Mabel looked him straight in the eye.  “Yes.”

“So now I need you to tell me how you found Jen.  How did you know she can communicate with the dead?” he asked.

That was a bloody good question, and I sat forward in my seat, waiting for her to answer.

She turned and looked at me.  “You helped my grandson.  You found him when Spencer died.”

I thought back to the time when Spence and I had first met.  His grandson hadn’t been difficult to find on the electoral role.  I’d given him a letter, dictated by Spencer, telling him that Spence was dead and that he needed to contact his solicitor.

I looked at her, confused.  “Yes, but all I did was give him a letter.”

“You gave him a letter, but you were constantly looking over his shoulder.  He wasn’t sure, but he was freaked out about it.  He said he felt as if his grandfather was with you.”

I looked at her in amazement.  “From that you deduce I can see dead people?”

“No stupid.  You lied about the letter.  You said you’d moved into Spencer’s old house and that’s where you found it.”

I just couldn’t see the connection.  “So?”

“When my grandson tried to track you down to thank you, you weren’t there.”

“So how did you find her, then?” Tom butted in.

Mabel turned pink. “I had help.”

“The blood-sucking variety?” Tom asked, the pulsing vein in his head giving away how angry he was.

“They’re not all bad, Tom, you should know that.  Besides, they want the cure, I want my son.  Both are in the same place.  It made sense to join forces.”

“What?” I asked, incredulous.  “You’ve teamed up with the very monsters that killed your son?”

Mabel rolled her eyes.  “They’re not all monsters!  Emanuel is… well he’s an enemy of the vampire who killed my son.  As far as I’m concerned, that makes him my friend.”

“How do you know you can trust them?  What if they take the cure, then kill you?” I asked.

Mabel put her hands on her knees and pushed herself up out of the chair.  “I’m old, Jennifer.  If I die, I die.  But I don’t want to die, not knowing if my son is alive or dead.  I had no choice really.”

Tom jumped to his feet.  “Just one more question, Mabel.  You said Jen had a protection detail.  What did you mean?”

“Emanuel sent two vampires to watch over her.  He has spies in his camp.  He was worried that our plan would be leaked.  Looks like he was right.”

“I knew that vampire had jumped in front of you,” Tom said, stunned.

“What?” I asked him, confused.

“The vampire who was sitting on your chest?  When I fired the stake at him, you moved.  He jumped in front of you.  I couldn’t understand it at the time and thought it was just dumb luck.”

“So it was you?  You killed them?” Mabel asked him.

“Damn right, he was sitting on her fucking chest!”  Tom’s eyes flared.

“Well, I guess we’ll never know if he was the enemy or if he was actually protecting her, will we? You killed him!” Mabel glared at him.

“And I’d do it again in a heartbeat!” Tom glared back, clenching his fists in temper and a muscle jumped in his arm.

Mabel looked away first.  “You need time to think about this.  I’ll be by tomorrow; you can tell me then whether or not you’re prepared to help me.”

I watched as she marched past Tom, bouncing from one high heel to another.

I sat on the sofa, stunned, and listened as Tom showed her out and re-locked the door, not moving an inch and still in shock at what Mabel had told me.  Tom came back into the room and stood in the doorway.

“Looks like your friend may be a vampire after all,” he said, staring at me with a strange and unreadable expression on his face.

“Emanuel?” I said, looking at him.

He nodded.  “Do you think you can find this Jonathan?”

“Like I said, I don’t know.  I need to speak to Spence.  I’ve never gone looking for a spirit before, they usually just turn up, demanding attention.”

Tom pulled his hands through his hair and paced the floor, deep in thought.

“I need to take you somewhere safe, and then I need to go check out some details.”

“Hey, what about me?”  Monty whined, making his presence known for the first time since Mabel had arrived.

“I suppose, you can come too.”

9 – You Only Die Twice

Tom

The night sky was lit up to a purple haze by a full, yellow moon.  A bitter chill in the air caused me to pull my collar up around my neck as I looked up at the stars and marvelled at how tiny we must really be in the universe.  My musings were interrupted as a sole figure made its way from tree to tree in an attempt to hide itself from view.  I smiled to myself as I watched it advance.  Wearing a long winter coat and a Trilby, it took leaping strides as it moved, finally darting to the tree closest to me, then coming out in the open and sauntering along the path as though it were the most natural thing in the world.  Nothing out of the ordinary here, oh no, just taking a stroll in the dead of night through a locked park.

“You took your time,” I said, not looking at Josh as he took a seat as far away from me as the bench would allow.  It wasn’t far.

He unfolded his newspaper and hid behind it.  “It’s been busy, what can I say?”

Josh worked the night shift at the local morgue.  I wondered what had caused the increase in business.  “Anything I need to worry about?”

The newspaper rustled.  “They’re putting it down to wild animal attacks but it’s definitely vampire-related.  Someone’s been busy, that’s for sure.”

“Why?”

“Maybe someone’s building themselves a little army.”

I threw a piece of dried bread at the sleeping ducks, hitting one on the head with a crust and it flapped its wings in fright.

“You know, I’ve said it before, but you watch way too many spy movies.  No one feeds ducks at night and you can’t read in this light.  No one is going to be fooled, you idiot.”

“Hold your tongue, man.  This has kept me undead this far, hasn’t it?”

I shook my head at the newspaper in wonder.  “So what did you find out?” I asked, wishing he’d hurry up and I could get back home to Jen.  It was bloody freezing out here and I wasn’t particularly fond of leaving her alone right now.  I wasn’t sure if that was because of the danger or because of the butterflies I seemed to get just by being in her presence.  I had it bad but I just couldn’t help myself.  The woman was like a drug.

“You’re right, he is an ancient, but he’s not from round here.”

“No shit, Sherlock, with a name like Emanuel Baptiste?  Don’t tell me.  Let me guess.  He’s Chinese,” I replied sarcastically.

The newspaper came down, crushed on to his knee.  “Are you going to be a sarcastic arsehole or are you going to listen?”  He glared at me.

“Careful, double-oh, I can see your lips moving.” I grinned at him and he pulled the newspaper back up to hide his face.

“Go on, guess again,” he said finally.

I sighed in exasperation.  He wanted to play.

“Ok, French.”

The newspaper shook as he chuckled.  “Wrong!  He’s American.  He’s from New Orleans.  You know? That place where they filmed ‘Interview with a Vampire’?  I love that film, man.”

I rolled my eyes again, holding my breath and counting to ten.

“So what’s he doing here?” I asked.

“Rumour has it the Frog was trying to do a deal, and it went bad.”

“Jesus man, you can’t call him that!  Besides, he’s not even French, you said so yourself!”

The newspaper came down again, and he frowned at me.  “Freddie the frog, you moron.  I wasn’t being sexist.”

“You mean racist,” I snapped back.

“That as well,” he replied.

“What’s Freddie the Frog got to do with it?” I frowned.

Josh looked left and right, then pulled the paper back up over his face.

“That’s who Baptiste was doing the deal with.  Freddie skipped town with a boatload of our man’s money.  In the process of liberating it, he also took out two of Baptiste’s men, one of whom was his brother-in-law.  His sister is a tad upset about it and sent Baptiste off with a flea in his ear and instructions not to return without the man’s head.  But it gets worse.”  He paused for effect and I waited.

“Well, are you going to ask me or what?”

I rolled my eyes.  “All right, how?  How does it get worse?”

“The brother-in-law was none other than Stuart Jackson.”

I waited some more.  He was so easy to wind up.

“You do know who that is, don’t you?  Or should I say, was?”

I didn’t answer, and the newspaper came crashing down again as he glared at me.

“Stuart Jackson?  Brother of Daniel?”

I thought about what he’d told me.  Daniel Jackson was our oldest ancient.  If rumour was anything to go on, he’d been turned in the 1600s which wasn’t that old really but let’s face it, the North East of England wasn’t exactly a well-populated or fun city in those days.  Any vampire worth his salt would have headed for London, or America even, as his brother did.  Jackson was a bit slow on the uptake.  Freddie, on the other hand, was an evil SOB. No one knew why he was called the Frog and no one dared ask.

“So, Baptiste has teamed up with Jackson to get his revenge on Freddie?”

The paper went back up.  “Let me finish.  My sources have told me that revenge is not his primary motivator, despite the angry sister.  Rumour has it that Freddie is working on something big.  Something he was willing to sell to Baptiste before he did a runner with the money.  My sources tell me…”

“Knock it off with the spy talk and just tell me straight,” I demanded, throwing my last crust at the same duck I’d hit earlier, just to see what it would do.  I missed.

The newspaper twitched.  “You’re no fun, you know that?”

“Josh,” I admonished.  I was running out of patience.

“Alright!  Keep your knickers on!  Freddie’s working on something that will mean that vampires can go out in sunlight.”

So the word had gotten out.  I wondered who the blabbermouth was in Freddie’s camp.

The paper came down again.

“Now, that worries me,” Josh said, looking at me.

“What?”

“You’re not surprised.  You knew this already.  You got another vamp on the side that I don’t know about?”

“Cool it, big boy, you’re the only vamp for me,” I smiled.  Josh and I had been friends for over ten years.  Don’t ask me why, we had little in common other than both being slayers.  Before he got turned that is.

He squinted at me, obviously trying to use his super-spy powers to see if I was lying.  Satisfied, he pulled the paper back up to cover his face.

“I knew about the sunlight cure but I didn’t know it was Freddie.  Did you get anything else?”

“Only that he’s turned a scientist.  He needs a little help with his wonder drug.”  The paper rustled again.  “You know you could have picked a better seat. I think I have a splinter up my arse.”

“Unless it travels all the way to your heart, it won’t kill you,” I said impatiently.  I thought about what he’d told me.  Maybe Mabel had been telling the truth after all.  “Did you get a name?”

“Yes, Peterson.  I can’t remember the first name.”

I gasped in shock.  He’d taken another one?

“So this Baptiste is after your girlfriend?” he said, putting the paper down again.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” I replied, adding ‘yet’ silently to myself.  And if I couldn’t keep her out of the Frog’s clutches, she might never be.  The Frog had a lot of followers and of all the vampires, even the ancients, he was the hardest to protect her from.  He didn’t play by Queensbury rules, that was for damn sure.

***

Jen

I lay in Tom’s bed, thinking about everything that had happened and wondering how the hell I would manage to find a dead man.  My thoughts turned to Spence.  Would he help?  Surely he would want to know, at least, what had befallen his son?

I turned my face into the pillow, so tired I couldn’t think straight any more.  The scent of Tom’s cologne tickled my nostrils and my body instantly responded.  I’d never get to sleep at this rate.

I thought about Tom and his lovely blue eyes.  I was tempted, I really was.  He was perfect.  Too perfect and therein lay the problem.  How could I let myself lust after someone who’d been bewitched?  And worse, bewitched by Becky, whose track record wasn’t entirely healthy on the successful spells front.  Knowing my luck, I’d fall head over heels and he’d turn out to be gay.

I tossed over on to my other side, pulling a pillow from beneath my head and threw my leg over it.  Monty whined as I landed on him.

“Off the bed,” I muttered.

“Oh, come on!”

“I won’t tell you again, Monty.”   I opened one eye and glared at him.

“You wouldn’t have even known I was there if you hadn’t been trying to dry-hump the pillow,” he muttered as he jumped down and went to his own bed; a blanket folded up on the floor.

I ignored him, closed my eye and inhaled.  Tom in his overalls coming towards me, a smile on his face, the sun behind his head and his eyes twinkling like diamonds.  And he wasn’t wearing a t-shirt.  Muscled arms glistened in the light as he stopped in front of me, reaching up and unfastening his overalls.  They slipped slowly down his body, revealing a muscular chest with a light dusting of golden hair, before coming to rest precariously on his hips.

I tossed over in bed.  Again.  This wasn’t working.  The scent of him was driving me wild.  I was just contemplating getting up and lying on the sofa when I heard a sound.  I held my breath and listened.  My heart pounded in my chest, so loud I was afraid whoever it was would hear me.  It wasn’t loud enough to drown out the sound of the stairs creaking and I sat up in bed in fright.  The moonlight shining through the open curtains was just enough to see the door handle turning slowly and silently and my breath caught in my throat as I watched it.

The door slowly opened, one inch, two inches.  Monty growled softly, a clear sign he didn’t know who was coming into the room.  The door was three inches open by now and I sprang out of the bed, ripping my arm out of the sling as I looked around quickly for a weapon.  For a slayer, Tom sure as hell didn’t have a lot stashed about.

Panic gripped me and I bent to the bedside table and picked up the first thing I could lay my hands on. A packet of condoms.  Urgh!  I threw them away and picked up the second thing I could lay my hands on; the table lamp.  I could always try to blind them with it, I supposed.  I yanked the cable out of the wall just as the door came fully open and I lobbed it in the general direction, catching Tom full in the face as he came into the room.

“Jesus Christ, are you trying to kill me?” he said, holding his nose.  I looked at Monty who was wheezing in semi-silent laughter.  Bastard!  He’d known it was Tom all along.

“If you will sneak about in the dead of night, you deserve everything you get,” I snapped, dropping to my knees on the bed.  Tom walked across and picked up his packet of condoms, blushing slightly as he shoved them in his drawer.

“I...”

“There’s no need to explain - it’s none of my business,” I said, despite the surge of jealousy that shot through me.

“So what did you find out?” I asked him.

Tom looked across at me, his eyes landing on my chest.  His pupils dilated and my breath caught in my throat at the lust in his eyes.

“Maybe we should cover you up first or better yet, let’s go down to the kitchen and make a hot drink.  Yes.  I’ll tell you over a drink,” he said, turning on his heel and leaving the room.  I watched him in confusion.

“You do realise you can see straight through that nightdress, don’t you?” Monty wheezed with laughter again.

I looked down at my chest to see my nipples protruding through the thin fabric.  Afraid for my life, and my body was still in lala-land brought on by sheer frustration.  I groaned with embarrassment when I realised that Tom had seen.

“You so want to shag him,” Monty whispered.

“Fuck off!” I snapped and jumped to my feet, heading straight for Tom’s wardrobe.  I needed something to cover myself with before I made my way downstairs.

I vowed to myself then and there.  Tomorrow, Becky McAllister was a dead woman.

***

I walked into the brightly lit kitchen wearing one of Tom’s jumpers over the top of my traitorous nightdress and took a seat at the table, waiting for him to finish making the drinks.

He turned and smiled at me as he placed a cup of steaming hot chocolate in front of me.  I lifted it to my lips and took a sip as he took a seat opposite.  Neither of us wanted to be the first to speak, and we sat there in silence.  Eventually, I caved.

“Are you going to tell me or are we going to sit here all night?” I asked.

He looked up from staring at his drink and smiled at me.  “Sorry, it’s taken a while to get the vision of you out of my mind,” he said, his eyes laughing at me.  I felt my face burn, and I slammed my drink down on the table, the chocolate spilling over my fingers.  Tom jumped up and got a cloth, handing it to me and I snatched it out of his hands.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you.  If it makes you feel any better, you have that effect on me, too.”   It didn’t, and I looked at him, exasperated.  He put his hands up in mock surrender and proceeded to recount what he’d learnt.

“So, you think they’ve taken another scientist?” I asked, as I thought about what this would mean.

“I think the Frog’s determined to have his way.  And if he succeeds, it can only mean more deaths.”

“If he has another scientist, why is he trying to kill me?”

Tom pulled his fingers through his hair and I watched, fascinated.  He had amazing hands and I couldn’t help imagining what they would feel like running through my hair.  Heat zinged to my nether regions and my face flushed.  I turned away quickly, not wanting him to see the effect he was having on me.  Again.

“He wants to have the freedom to walk in daylight but he doesn’t want to be mortal.  He obviously sees the formula as a threat to his plans.  He wants to make sure it can’t come to light,” Tom said finally.

His words were the bucket of cold water my libido needed.  I threw my arms down on the table top and dropped my head to its cool surface.

“Bloody great.  I have to spend the rest of my life wearing sodding garlic.  I don’t even like Italian food.”

Tom chuckled.  “On you, anything would look good,” he said hoarsely.

Heat flooded my lower body, and I kept my head down on the table, not trusting myself to look at him.  My life was in danger and all I could think about was pulling him to me and thrusting my tongue down his throat.  I gave myself a mental slap and tried to focus on my predicament.  I needed a plan.

I heard Tom’s chair scrape across the floor and I raised my head just as he pulled me bodily out of my chair and into his arms.  I was captivated by the look of absolute lust in his eyes.  He waited for a second to see if I would struggle and when I didn’t, his sweet, sexy lips came down to mine in a gentle kiss.  Then another.  By the third kiss, I was kissing him back and by the fourth, his hand came down to my waist and pulled me to him as his tongue explored my mouth.  I was incapable of rational thought at this point and my arms came up and round his neck, burying my fingers into his curls and pulling him to me as I pressed my body against his, pure unadulterated lust coursing through me.  His hand came up, under the jumper, to wrap itself around my swollen breast, rubbing it gently, feeling the weight of it in his hand before his thumb climbed to find the peak and grazed it, sending a bolt of lightning right through me.  I felt liquid pool between my legs and I almost collapsed on the floor as a groan escaped my lips.  I wrenched myself out of his arms.

This wasn’t right.

“Stop.  Just stop,” I said, holding him at arm’s length and fighting to control my breathing.

“Why?  You want me, I want you, and we’re both adults,” he said, taking a step toward me.  I backed up and hit the table.

“Tom, there’s something you need to know.” I put my hand up to ward him off.

“What?” he asked, not moving an inch.

“You don’t want me.  You’re bewitched.”

His mouth twitched at the corner and a twinkle replaced the lustful look in his eyes.

“Oh?”

“Yes!” I snapped.  “You’re not in control of your own faculties right now.  Becky has cast some sort of spell on you to bring you to me.”

“And why would she do that?” he asked, the smile forming fully on his face now.  What was I going to tell him?  Because I’d never achieved an orgasm?   That she’d asked me about my perfect man and he was it?  I swore to myself I was going to make her suffer for this.  Then it hit me.

I looked at him, startled, as the idea began to form in my mind.

“Witches can call spirits,” I said, finally.

The grin disappeared to be replaced by a look of confusion.

“Becky?” I prompted.

Realisation dawned and his eyes widened in surprise.

“You think she can call this Jonathan guy?” he asked.

“She damned well better.  She owes me.”

***

The residual pain in my shoulder nagged at my consciousness and I turned on my back to relieve the pressure, putting my good arm over my eyes to block out the morning sunlight.  I breathed in through my nose and the scent of Tom tantalised me again.  I’d had next to no sleep and when I had, I’d dreamt of him.  I burned with lust as I turned my head to the side and buried my face in the pillow, inhaling.  The second thing I smelled was bacon.

My eyes flew open as I lay there.  I sniffed the air again.  Definitely bacon.

I threw the covers off and ran to the door, then stopped and looked about the room.  I grabbed up the jumper I’d worn the night before and pulled it on, just in case, then headed out the door.  I ran down the hall and took the stairs two at a time, only slowing when I reached the bottom and walked nonchalantly down the hall to the kitchen.

Tom, his back to me, was wearing a plastic apron and had a frying pan in one hand and a telephone in the other.  The apron accentuated perfectly his small waist and broad back and the arse on the man was worthy of a sculpture.

“No mother, I won’t be in for the rest of the week, I told you.  You’ll just have to deal with it yourself.”

I stood there, undecided as to what to do.  Should I make my presence known or should I leave and give him a few minutes?

“What do you mean another one?  This is a woman’s life we’re talking about.”

I froze.  Another one?  Another what?  Woman?  Nutter?  Damsel in distress?

I coughed delicately and Tom spun round to face me, his lips smiling but his eyes in a panic.  That settled it.  My vote was nutter.  Or woman - that box of condoms had been a large one.  Who knows how many conquests he’d had.    He could have a hero complex for all I knew.  I was suddenly very grateful I’d not let anything happen the night before.

“Mum, I have to go, I’ll call you later,” he said, as he ended the call and dropped his phone on the counter while still clutching the pan in his other hand.

“Good morning,” I said, taking a seat at the table.  Monty followed me in looking bleary-eyed.

“You talk in your sleep,” he grumbled as he curled up beneath the table.

“I do not,” I replied, praying I hadn’t said anything too outrageous.

“Yes you do. You were shouting out some foreign fella’s name,” he said, dropping his head to his paws.

I gasped and looked at Tom.  His lips thinned and he turned his back, placing the pan back on the heat to finish cooking the bacon.  I surreptitiously kicked Monty’s arse and he growled at me.  Foreigner?  The only foreigner I’d met lately was Emanuel and while attractive, I certainly hadn’t been so enamoured that I’d be dreaming about him.  I looked at Monty and he grinned slyly at me.

“You little…” I reached for him and he dodged out of the way.

“Oh Tom, please, touch me there, yes Tom, more,” he shouted in a girly voice as he dodged my outstretched arms and ran out of the room as fast as his little legs would carry him.  I dropped my head onto the table in embarrassment, turning slightly to see Tom’s shoulders dance with laughter.  I’d rather he thought I was dreaming about someone else.

He turned and handed me a plate, a broad grin on his face.

“I was not talking in my sleep and I certainly wasn’t dreaming about you,” I snapped, snatching the plate from his hands and banging it down on the table in front of me.  I swear, Monty was going to live with aunty Becky for a while.  Two birds with one stone came to mind.

“Me neither,” he replied, still grinning as he turned his back.  What did that mean?  He wasn’t talking in his sleep or he wasn’t… or was… dreaming of me?  My panties suddenly felt wet. I looked away quickly and caught sight of Monty with his head sticking round the door to see if I was going to chase him.

“Come in, but not another word,” I said, pointing the fork at him in warning.  Tom threw him a slice of bacon, extra crispy, and he caught it in his jaws, chewing in delight.  Thirty pieces of silver, I’ll be damned.

We finished our breakfast in silence and I purposely kept my eyes on my plate.  When I finished, I looked up, trying to get a sneak peek at Tom, only to catch his eyes full on as he sat there, still grinning while he chewed his food.

“I was not,” I grumbled, standing up to clear away my plate.  I dropped it into the sink and turned on the tap, keeping my back to the pair of them.  Possibly not a wise move, in hindsight.  Tom’s arms snaked about me, trapping my arms to my sides as his mouth came to my neck and lay a trail of butterfly kisses all the way up to my ear lobe.  I shuddered with longing, my legs almost buckling beneath me.  Tom pushed his body against mine and I swear he had a rocket launcher in his pocket.  That thing was huge and my lady bits screamed in frustration.

“The answer you’re looking for,” he whispered, blowing on my ear as he did so, “… is yes, I dreamt of you.”   He pushed me against the sink, one hand sneaking down to cup my rear.

“Get a room!” screamed Monty.  “I’m only three and a half, I shouldn’t be subjected to this,” he yelled, running out the door.

Tom ignored him and continued kissing my earlobe before sucking it gently into his mouth.  A gasp escaped my lips and I closed my eyes in sheer delight.  His lips went again to my neck and he nipped me softly with his teeth, then suckled tenderly at my flesh, his tongue making twirling patterns on its surface.  My head about ready to explode, I sagged against him, openly groaning in lust and not caring any more who heard me.

Then he released me, rather abruptly, and smacked my backside.  Hard.

“Now, get a wiggle on, we need to be at your house early for the alarm fitters.”

He waltzed out of the kitchen, whistling a happy tune as I almost melted over the sink.

10 – Bad Boys

Tom

I checked every room in the house to make sure that everything was in order before making my way back outside to the car and pulling the passenger door open.

“Everything’s fine.  You can go in,” I said to Jen as she glared at me. Trusting her was one thing.  Knowing the Frog and his henchmen was another.  She’d be safe enough from the vampires as it was broad daylight, but he’d brought in hired hands once already.

She snatched the keys from my hands and without a word made her way up the path and into the house, flinging her overnight bag over her shoulder in a show of strength that almost sent her crashing backwards.  I grinned.  She had balls, I’d give her that.

I watched her walk up the path and through the door as I stood, Monty beside me, waiting patiently to go for his walk.

“Will she be ok?” Monty asked, also watching her progress.

“She will be if we work together, Monty.  Did you see the car parked at the turn off?” I asked, turning to look at him.

“Black Subaru, tinted windows, two thousand and ten reg.  Yes, I saw it,” he said.

I looked at him, amazed.  “Do you recognise it?”

“Never seen it before,” he replied, a grim expression on his furry face.

“Let’s go.”

“What, no leash?” he said, cocking his head sideways.

“You need one?” I asked.

“Ha, you know a fellow could get to like you.  Don’t get too confident, mind you.  You hurt my Jen, I’ll still take a chunk out of your ankle,” he said, cockily as he sauntered off.

I pressed the remote and locked the car, jogging after him.  As he reached the corner, he dipped his head and peered around it.  I rolled my eyes. That’s all I need.  Another super-sleuth.

“Act normal, you mutt,” I mumbled, conscious that we might be overheard.  I pulled my phone out of my pocket and surreptitiously typed in the car registration number, sending it to Matthew - my friend on the force and also the youngest Crime Commissioner in the country.  As we approached the car from behind, I couldn’t tell if anyone was in it and suddenly got a sinking feeling in my stomach.  I had to know if someone was in there or if they’d left the car and been watching the house, waiting for a moment to strike.

“You picking up any scents?” I whispered.

“Are you kidding me?  Hundreds!  It’s a public street in a village full of dog and cat lovers,” Monty replied, his eyes glaring at the car.

There was nothing for it.  I put my hand in my pocket and pulled out my pen knife, flicking it open and sauntering up behind the car.  I bent at the rear and thrust the knife into the rubber.  I had to hope they weren’t watching in their rear view mirror but at least that would get them out of the car.  If they were in there.

I walked along the side and as I reached the driver’s door, I banged sharply three times on the metal, holding my breath.  The window slowly descended and a face came into view.  Wearing sunglasses.  At seven o'clock in the morning on a misty autumn day.  Yeah, we had problems.  Obviously not the vampire variety, but we certainly had problems.

“Good morning.  Sorry if I startled you.  Did you realise you had a flat?” I asked, trying to appear like a normal, friendly, run-of-the-mill villager.  As the door came open, I caught sight of the passenger.  Also wearing sunglasses.  The driver jumped out of the car and went immediately to the rear, bending down to inspect the tyre as I came up behind him, locked him in a chokehold and spun him down to the ground.  Monty took up position on the passenger’s side, keeping watch for the passenger emerging.  I had seconds, at most, to figure this out before I had two of them to deal with.

“Hey man, what the fuck?” was all my new friend managed to get out before I slammed his face down into the tarmac.

“You want to tell me what you’re doing here?” I asked, inserting my knee into his spine.

“You’ve just made a huge mistake, mister.  I’m a police detective.  Now do you want to remove yourself from my person before I arrest you for assault?”

“Badge,” I demanded.  I wasn’t taking anything for granted.

“Back pocket on the left,” he barked.  I reached behind me carefully, not lifting the pressure from his spine or releasing the arm I had up his back.

“Wuff,” Monty shouted, and I took that to mean the passenger was now joining the fray.  I grabbed hold of the wallet and pulled it out of the man’s pocket, flipping it open quickly to reveal the standard police ID, introducing me to David Parker, CID.

“You want to unhand my partner?” a voice asked, and I looked up straight into the barrel of a gun.  Who said police weren’t armed in England?

***

Jen

I shoved the last of the laundry from the overnight bag into the washing machine and slammed the door, standing to turn the dial.

“Where the hell have you been?” a voice said behind me and I spun around to see Spence, his cap askew and his hands on his hips, glaring at me angrily.

“Spence!  I’m so glad to see you!  I…”

“Do you realise Mrs. McDonald waited for three hours!  Three hours I had to put up with that woman.  I swear if she wasn’t dead already I’d have strangled her myself.  Where were you last night, anyway?  Gallivanting with that tomcat?”

“His name’s Tom, Spence, drop the cat.”  I turned and walked over to the coffee machine, inserting a pod and switching it on.

“And I wasn’t gallivanting, as you so nicely put it.  You don’t know about the attack?” I asked him.

If I was looking for compassion, I came to the wrong place.  His face was filled with thunder.

“What attack?” he demanded.  “More vampires?”

“No, I was attacked by hired thugs, the human variety,” I replied, indicating my shoulder.  “Tom saved me.”  Stick that in your opinionated pipe and smoke it, buster.

Spence took a step back in shock, then his face filled with thunder again.  The man was a walking barometer.

“That bloody woman.  What has she got you into?” he demanded.

“I take it you’re talking about Mabel now?” I asked, pulling a cup from the cupboard and shoving it under the spout just in time.

“You’re damn right I’m talking about her!  What was she doing here?”  He pulled off his cap and ran a hand over his balding head in frustration.

I turned and leaned against the unit, folding my arms as I relayed the events of the last few days.  At the mention of his son, Spence’s face went puce.

“My son’s dead?” he asked.

“She thinks so, but she’s not sure,” I replied, watching his face for a reaction.  I guess finding out someone was dead wasn’t the devastating news it would be to someone who hadn’t already passed over.

“Why did you lie to me about how you died?” I asked.

“Would you have believed me?” he parried, hands on hips.

I thought about it for a second.  Probably not.  Let’s face it, a vampire had sat on my chest and disappeared into a cloud of dust and I still hadn’t taken to the idea that we shared our existence with beings of the supernatural persuasion.  Aside from ghosts that is.

“Point,” I conceded.

Spence took a seat on the table.  Good job he was weightless, really.  The legs on that thing had been going for a while.

“So she thinks Jonathan is dead?” he said again, obviously finding it difficult to get his head around the concept.

I took a seat next to him and looked into his eyes.  “Yes.  She said she hadn’t heard from him in a month, not since he informed his maker he had a cure.”

Spence’s jaw dropped as he gazed at me, bewildered.  “He found a cure?  Well, I’ll be damned.”

“Let’s hope not, Spencer.  I kind of like having you around.” I smiled sadly at him and he pulled off his cap, holding it between his fingers and trying not to look proud.

“Would you be able to find out if he was?” I asked.

“Was what?”

I didn’t want to say the word again, despite it not having the same impact.  It still felt kind of disrespectful.

“Passed over,” I replied, after struggling for a moment to come up with a suitable alternative.   “Does he have a soul?  And if so, where is it?” I asked.

I had absolutely no idea if vampires had souls or not and if they did, did they get the chance to go to Heaven or was it a one way ticket the other way?

He turned his head and looked at me, a pained expression on his face.  “I have no idea.  All I know is, I’ve not seen him, but that doesn’t mean anything really.  There are thousands upon thousands of souls hanging about and billions in Heaven and Hell.  He could be anywhere.”

“Becky’s coming over later.  We’re going to try to call his spirit.  I think you should be there.”

Hope shone in his eyes.  So much for not forgiving him.  Mabel was wrong about that, I was sure.

He pursed his lips and looked at me.  “I’ll be there, if just to make sure Becky doesn’t screw up again and you end up in trouble.”

A lump formed in my throat.  We’d come to be close.  He was almost like a grandfather to me.  Not that I had one to compare with.  The only grandparent I had left was Grannie Maggie, my mother’s mother, and she was as mad as a box of frogs.

“Spence, can I ask you a personal question?”

He jumped down from the table.  “No.”

“I’ll find out anyway. I’ll ask Mabel,” I warned.

He turned and looked at me with a grave expression on his face.  “That woman wouldn’t know the truth if it bit her on the backside.  She is not to be trusted, do you hear me?”

I thought about it for a second.  Mabel was odd, but she hadn’t struck me as being particularly devious or dangerous.  “Are you sure you’re not letting your personal feelings get in the way?” I asked him.

“Absolutely not.”

“Well, ok, I’ll be careful around her.  Don’t worry,” I replied eventually.

He glared at me for a moment more, then promptly disappeared.  I watched the space he’d previously occupied for a moment, worried now about him.  I had no idea what had happened to him but he’d ended up alone, estranged from his family.  I wondered what Mabel had done to make him hate her so much.

Right on time, the doorbell chimed and while I was fairly certain it was Tom bringing Monty home, I wasn’t taking any chances.  I crept out to the hall and pulled the curtain back to see Tom standing with two other men, one of whom had his back to me.  They didn’t seem happy.    What the hell was going on now?

I pulled the door open, and the man turned to face me, a question on his lips but then a smile spread across his face.

“Jen!  How are you?” he asked.

“David?  I’m fine, what brings you here?”  David worked with my brother as a CID with the Northumbria Police.  Why the hell was he escorting Tom to my door?

“You know this man?” he asked, indicating to Tom who stood with his arms folded and a guarded expression on his face.

“Yes, he’s my boyfriend.” I blushed slightly at the lie but he’d repeat everything I said to Joe.  I didn’t want to let the cat out of the bag.  It also, conveniently, kept David at arm’s length, but that was another story.

“Oh, I see,” David said, trying hard to keep a smile on his face.

“Can we take this inside?  I don’t want to end up the talk of the village with three strange men on my door at the crack of dawn.”

I ushered them into the kitchen and Tom took a seat.  Monty slunk beneath the table with his tail between his legs.

David puffed up his chest and turned to face me.  “Your boyfriend attacked me.  Said he thought I was…” he looked down at his notebook, purely for effect I was sure, “…‘lurking with intent to commit a crime’.”

He snapped his notebook shut, and I fought with everything I had not to roll my eyes.  God knows what TV cop show he’d gotten that little move from but it certainly didn’t make him appear any cleverer.

“You still haven’t told me why you two were there,” Tom said, watching David with interest.

The remaining detective stepped forward.  He looked at me and blushed, his carrot red hair and freckles making him seem a lot younger than he probably was.  Still, he must be a rookie.  I’d met the entire division on numerous occasions, and I didn’t know him at all.

“Hi Jen, I’m Steven.  It’s nice to meet you.  I’ve heard a lot about you from your brother.”

I’d just bet he had.  I felt myself blush as I averted my gaze.   I’d been the laughing stock of the division for months, when I’d gone to work at the sex shop, and Joe had lapped it up.  I grimaced and shook the hand he offered.

“Why were you there?  It’s not like this is a high crime area,” I asked, looking now at David.  His chest puffed up with importance.

“We’re investigating a death.”

“What death?” I asked, shocked.  Dinnington was a tiny village.  The most crime we got was drunk and disorderly when the regulars fell out of the pub of an evening.

“A young man was found dead in the park last night with his throat torn out.  We think it’s animal related but we’re watching the area for anything suspicious until it’s confirmed by the Coroner’s office.”

Well, that made sense.  David wasn’t the most highly prized member of the team.  If they wanted to put someone on stakeout for a wild animal, he’d be the man.  I felt sorry for the rookie beside him.  Then the penny dropped.  Throat ripped out?  It couldn’t be… could it?

“What happened to your arm?” Steven, the rookie, asked, and I groaned.  Trust him to be the observant one.

“I was attacked at home two nights ago.  Thieves, they think.” I looked at Tom.

“Bit strange, isn’t it?  First you get attacked in your own home, then a man turns up dead?”

Red was really starting to get on my last nerve now.  “Yes, so I suppose you two better run along and find the criminals and bring them to justice,” I declared, moving towards the door.

David turned to Tom.  “I could still have you arrested, you know.  You could have broken my nose.”

“Joe wouldn’t appreciate that, David.  But if you must…” I trailed off as David blanched.  He was intimidated by the senior officers and wouldn’t want to cross my brother.

David stopped in front of me, his eyes still on Tom.  “Right, well, I’ll let it go this time, but you keep your nose clean,” he said sternly.

Tom stood up and stretched to his full six foot four, looking down at David who took a step back in fright.  Tom smiled, and my insides did a little jump.

“Don’t forget you need to get that flat sorted out,” he grinned, tucking his hands in his pockets, pulling his jeans taught.  I turned away from him before he caught me staring, and saw Red smiling at me knowingly.

“Yes, right, well… I’ll see you around Jen,” David finished, turning to the door.  Red stared at Tom, a question on his face, then thought better of it and followed David out of the door.  I closed it behind them and Tom’s hand came over the top of mine and turned the handle, shooting the deadbolts into the wall.

I turned to face him and spotted Monty out of the corner of my eye, staring at the door with a mean expression on his furry little face.

“I'm gonna give you to the count of ten, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property,” he said to the door in a fake American accent.  Tom looked at him, confused.

“Home Alone,” I said, rolling my eyes and following Tom back into the living room, Monty trotting behind me.

“You do realise that Joe is going to be round here the minute he hears about this, don’t you?” I said, throwing myself into the chair.  I was suddenly exhausted, and it was only eight o'clock in the morning.  Monty obviously agreed with me and curled up on the rug in front of the fire.

“Maybe it’s time he and I had a little talk,” Tom said, not making eye contact as he sprawled out across the sofa.

“You can’t tell him about this.  He’ll think we’re both crazy.”

Tom looked at me.  “Does he know about your abilities?”

“Yes but he doesn’t like to talk about it.”

I turned my eyes away from him before I gave myself away.  “I don’t honestly think he believes me.  I think he thinks I might be a little bit nuts.”

Tom didn’t say a word.  He didn’t try to placate me or offer me comfort.  It just was what it was, and I was grateful to him for letting it go.

“About the man in the park… do you think..?” I started.

He sighed, looking at the ceiling now with his hands above his head.  “Yeah.  I do,” he replied eventually.

“I want to help put a stop to this, Tom.”

“I know,” he said, still looking at the ceiling.

“You know what that means?” I asked, waiting for his reaction.

“Yeah.”

“I’m going to have to help Mabel.  But if I’m going to do that, I have to meet Emanuel.  I have to know what he intends to do with the formula.”

“I know.”

“And you don’t mind?”

“What, that you’re going to meet a vampire? Or that you are going to meet a vampire you were dreaming about last night?”

“I was not!”

Monty sniggered.

I glared at him and he turned his head away.

We sat in silence for a moment.  I wondered for a second what he was thinking.  Was the possibility of helping to bring an end to these monsters playing on his mind?  Thinking about the thousands of lives that would be saved?

He leaned up on one arm and looked at me.

“You know...”

“What?”

“… it’s going to be at least an hour before the alarm fitters arrive.”  We wiggled his eyebrows at me suggestively.

I jumped up from the seat.  “I’ve got cleaning to do,” I snapped as I marched out of the room to the gentle rumble of his laughter.

“You so want to shag her,” I heard Monty tell him, and I smiled to myself as I walked into the kitchen to find my dusters and polish.

“You had him neutered yet?” Tom shouted.

Then I heard Monty fart and a string of expletives from Tom.  I laughed.  Change from the thirty pieces of silver had been delivered.

***

It was just after lunch when the sound of Mabel’s heels down the path heralded her arrival.  The alarm fitters had arrived shortly after ten and I was now the proud owner of not only a top of the range alarm system but a full security system with video surveillance linked into a private company who monitored my house twenty-four hours a day.  I was sure Joe was behind it but I smiled to myself, grateful to have a family that cared so much.

I looked at Tom as he stood at the door, waiting for the all clear to open it.  I nodded at him and he smiled, turning the handle and pulling the door wide.

I watched as Mabel bounced down the path, swaying from side to side and I rushed to the living room door and opened it wide, allowing her to continue on through before her legs gave out on her.  She seemed to be concentrating on putting one foot before the other.  Still not used to the heels, I gathered.  Tom and I followed her in.

“Would you like a coffee or a cup of tea?” I asked.

“Tea would be lovely, yes please,” she said breathlessly as she dropped into the chair and immediately took off her shoes to massage her feet.  Monty, who was sitting right beside her chair, lifted himself up and dragged himself to the other end of the room.  I took that to mean Mabel’s feet didn’t smell of roses but after the events earlier, he was getting no sympathy from me.  It had taken two bottles of air freshener to rid the house of the stench.

Tom dropped down on to the sofa as I dashed into the kitchen and boiled the kettle, pulling my old teapot out of the cupboard and dusting it off.  Minutes later, I returned to the living room and set the tea tray down on the table.

“Oh dear, you shouldn’t have struggled with that, what with your arm and all,” Mabel said, giving Tom a filthy look whilst reaching over to grab the teapot and pour.  Tom didn’t flinch from his seat, arms crossed and legs full stretch in front of him.  Something was eating him but I wasn’t sure what it was.

I took a seat on the sofa and watched her as she poured the tea, adding a touch of milk but no sugar.  She handed me a cup, and I took a sip, still watching her.  Finally, she plucked up the courage to ask me the question I knew was burning on her tongue.

“Have you made a decision?” her eyes were the only thing to give her away.  She was terrified I’d refuse.

“I have, Mabel.  But there are still questions we need answers to.  We want to meet with Emanuel.”

“That’s fine.  I would have brought him with me now only sunlight’s not too good for his skin, if you catch my drift.”

Tom frowned at her, unamused.  “We meet on consecrated ground,” he stated.

She nodded in agreement.  “Wise, although he won’t harm either of you, despite you killing two of his best vampires.”  She glared at Tom again.

“But there’s one stipulation, Mabel,” I added.

“What’s that, dear?” she asked as she took another sip of her tea.

“No lies.  Complete honesty, from all sides.  You may trust the vampires, but I don’t and if you lie to me, I will walk away from this.”

“No lies.  No problem.” She nodded, leaning over to place her cup and saucer on the tray.  “Just help me find my son.”

***

I opened the door to find Becky standing there, her arms full of boxes and a cauldron swinging over one arm like this year’s fashion accessory, and a knitted red and blue striped bobble hat wedged firmly on her head.

“Well don’t just stand there, give me a hand,” she said, her red nose shining over the top of the boxes.

I pulled some out of her arms and carried them into the kitchen.  “What the hell is that awful smell?” Tom said, wrinkling his nose.

“Don’t look at me,” said Monty, slinking under the table.

“It’s rue,” said Becky, clanging the cauldron down on the stove.  “It’s for protection against the vamps,” she added.  “The shop had run out of garlic.”

“Vamps don’t come out during the day, Becky,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Hey, you never know.  What if that other scientist fellow manages to crack it?” she asked, tearing off her hat and looking at me in earnest.  She had a point.

Tom smiled.  “And as obnoxious as that smell is, it won’t work against vampires.”

Becky looked at him, then started unpacking the boxes.  “Would you come near me, smelling like this?” she asked as she tipped a bag of groceries on to the counter.  Were we making a potion or a meal, I wondered.

“Is this weed?” Tom asked, picking up and fingering a bag of dried herb.

“It’s thyme, numb-nuts, but feel free to smoke it if you think it might help.  Now, where’s my book of spells?  Ah there it is,” she said as she reached across and snatched what had to be the mangiest book of spells in the history of witchcraft from the top of one of the boxes.  At one time, I imagined the aged leather had shone to perfection, the locking mechanism gleaming, glittering like a prize, ready and waiting for someone to hit the clasp and reveal its secrets.  Now, the lock was held shut with an elastic band and it had a sticking tape holding the front cover in place.  A love heart had been drawn on the front, in bright orange marker, and the initials JO were drawn in ink inside it.   I looked at it, puzzling over who JO might be, when Becky quickly unfastened the elastic and opened the book.

“You know, if you respected your magic a little more, then perhaps things wouldn’t go wrong so often,” I said, folding my arms primly.  I still needed to have words with her about what she’d done to Tom and me, but that could wait until later.  I didn’t want to bring up the subject of how fascinating I found his biceps in front of him.

Tom picked up a candle in the shape of a willy and I almost died of embarrassment.  He looked at me, raising his eyebrow and smiling.  Becky snatched it out of his hands.  “Sorry, only one I could find in a hurry,” she said, taking the purple monstrosity from him and placing it down beside her.

“Now,” she said, placing her hands on the table and looking at me.  “You pop off and call Spence while Tom and I get sorted out here.”

She looked at me, then at the door, then back at me.  Her eyes clearly said skedaddle, and I had to think for a moment.  What is she up to?  Then I realised.  She probably wanted to remove the spell she’d cast on him.  A worry formed in my stomach.  Did I want her to?  Don’t be stupid, I told myself.  Of course I wanted her to.  If anything were to happen, I wanted it to be real, not because of some stupid spell.

“Ah, yes.  Right then,” I said, walking slowly backwards out of the room and tripping over Monty.

“Oi!  Watch where you’re going,” Monty said, in a huff.

I picked myself up as Tom looked across at me, a curious expression on his face.  I ran for the door before I decided to jump on top of Becky and beg her to leave things as they were.

By the time I reached the living room, my heart was pounding in my chest and I had a strange urge to cry.  I stomped over to the fireplace, giving myself a good telling off on the way.  This was the right thing to do, I had to remember that.  Crikey, he could have a girlfriend or anything, how was I to know?  I’d only known him a week.

“Spence?” I shouted, louder than I’d intended, focussing my mind to find his energy.

He materialised to my left, cap in hand.

“I may be old but I’m not deaf,” he snapped.

“Sorry” I said, putting my head down.  “Are you ready?” I asked.  He knew what I meant.  Ready to face his son.

“I’m ready,” he replied, lifting his chin and inspecting my face.  “Why are you so sad?”

I averted my eyes.  “You wouldn’t understand,” I replied, taking a seat on the chair and waiting for Becky to call us in.

Spence walked over to the sofa and lowered himself down.  He was obviously excited about seeing his son as his aim was off and he looked to be floating a foot in the air.

“You’d be surprised,” he said, smoothing down the front of his suit.  “I have been in love myself, you know.  I know the pain a lover can cause you.”

“He is not my lover and I am not in love,” I retorted.  Lust, maybe, but love?

“You keep telling yourself that,” he said, making himself comfortable.

We sat there in silence, my mind on what was happening in the kitchen.  I felt antsy and was having to exert all of my willpower not to run in and scream for Becky to stop.  I needed to distract myself.  I turned to Spencer.

“So tell me about you.  You said you’d been in love?” I asked.

He nodded, sadly.

“Was it Mabel?” I asked, suddenly interested in his answer.

He looked at me like I was stupid.  “Well done, Einstein, you cracked it.”

“What happened?” I asked.

“She sold our son to those things,” he answered, putting his head down.

I gasped in surprise.  “What do you mean, she sold him?” I asked.

“She traded him for her own life, that’s what I mean.  They caught her one night when she went off into town.  So they’d spare her, she told them our son would be able to find them a cure.”

“Are you sure?” I asked.  This didn’t sound like the caring Mabel she had made herself out to be.

“She admitted it, when our son was taken,” he replied, looking at the floor.  “I would die before I let anyone harm a hair on my son’s head.  I just can’t understand or tolerate anyone who wouldn’t do the same.”

I sat in the chair, completely dumbfounded.  I tried to put myself in her position.  Would I give up someone I love if I was so afraid for my life?  I hoped I had enough strength of character not to.  I thought for a second about my brothers.  Would I sell them out to save myself?  No, I think I’d rather die.  I couldn’t fault Spence for feeling the way he did.  I was rather sickened myself.

The door swung open and Tom looked at me, angrily.  “Are you coming or what?  We’ve been shouting for you for the last five minutes.”

I looked up at him, startled, and checked for signs that it was gone, whatever we’d had been us.  I couldn’t tell but there was no sparkle in his eyes.  My heart sank like a stone.

I jumped up as he looked wearily around the room.  “Is he here?” he asked.  I looked at Spence as he crept right up to Tom’s face.

“Boo!”

“He’s here,” I replied, as Spence laughed.  It was a relief after the heaviness of our earlier conversation.

I followed him out to the kitchen and Becky looked at me, her back to the table and holding on to it tight with both hands.

“Now I need you to be calm,” she said.  “Can you do that for me?”

I looked at her suspiciously.  “What have you done now?”

“You might as well get me neutered now,” said Monty, morosely, or as morosely as he could with a voice like a chipmunk.  I looked down at him and for a second, my mind wouldn’t process what I was seeing.  Monty, my Monty, was no longer a Jack Russell but a skinny, black-haired, cross-eyed Chihuahua.

“My street cred will be absolutely dead in the water.”

He walked out of the kitchen with his tail between his legs, banging into the door frame on the way before correcting himself and banging into the door.

“We can get him some glasses,” Tom said, folding his arms and watching him leave.

I turned on Becky.  “What have you done to him?” I asked, madder than I’d ever been.

“Now, Jen, I can reverse it,” she said, putting her hands up between us to ward me off.

“Hey, I hate to break up the party, but can we get on with it?” asked Spence.  I glared at Becky.  “You’d better have him back to normal by tomorrow, Becky McAllister or I will pee in your Chanel bag, I swear it.”

“For the love of God,” snapped Spence.

I turned away from her and Tom came up beside me, wrapping an arm around me in support.  I looked up at him suspiciously and then looked at Becky with a question in my eyes.  She looked at me like I’d lost the plot, then picked up her athame and smiled at me.

“Tom, you’re standing in the wrong corner.  You’re West.  Jen, can you ask Spence to stand at East?  And you’re South,” she said, taking what I deduced must be the north position herself.

Spence shook his head in disgust and took up his appointed space.  “Hocus, bloody pocus.  If the dog’s anything to go by we’ll end up having tea with Satan himself.”

My stomach clenched as I realised he was right.  What on earth had possessed me to ask Becky, of all people, to conjure a spirit?  God alone knows what could go wrong.  I held my tongue.  Given that Becky was the only witch I knew, I had all my eggs in one basket, so to speak.

When we were all in place, Becky held her athame up to her face.  She frowned, breathed on the blade, polishing it against her jeans, then inspected it again.  Satisfied, she started to chant.   As she spoke the words, a thin mist appeared in the circle in front of us.  I listened to her, her words almost hypnotic, as the mist whirled.  She continued to chant.  She chanted for so long I started to get a cramp from standing in the same position for too long. And still she chanted.

Spence’s head fell forward on to his chest.  Becky continued to chant.  I heard a faint snore from Spence and tutted under my breath, reaching across and poking him in the arm.  My hand went in up to my wrist and I pulled it out with a plop.  Spence jumped, startled, then gave me a dirty look.  Becky’s chants were now getting louder and louder, her face getting redder and redder.  My stomach clenched as I wondered if something was going wrong.  Becky waved her athame about like crazy, paused for a second, then waved it again.  Finally she stopped and took a breath.  The grey mist, still very much a mist, stopped swirling and just sort of hung there.

“Oh for Christ’s sake, show yourself already,” she snapped, hands on her hips and her face still red from the effort.

The mist whirled violently, almost like a mini tornado, and then with a little mini bolt of lightning, it morphed into a younger version of Spence.

“What a fucking ride,” he said, looking down at himself in elation.

“Are you Jonathan Spencer?” Becky asked in a fake deep voice.

The spirit looked across at her, then waved his hand in front of her eyes.  The earlier exuberance disappeared when he realised she couldn’t see him.

“Yes, I’m Jonathan Spencer, not that it makes a whole heap of difference since no one can fucking hear me,” he said.

“He’s here,” I stated, and he whirled around to look me right in the eye.

“Fuck me, can you see me?”

Spence tutted.  Obviously not a fan of a swear word or two.

“Of course I can see you, numb-nuts.  Say hello to your father.”

Jonathan spun round to his left and looked his father in the eye.

“Dad?” he asked, his eyebrows shooting up and his eyes glazing over suspiciously.

“It’s me, son,” Spence replied in a deep voice that resonated with sadness.

“Ah, why don’t we give you two a moment?” I said, backing away to the door.  Tom took the hint and followed me as Becky looked at me, her eyes like saucers.

“I did it?  I really did it?” she asked, shock written all over her face.

I reached across and grabbed her arm.  “Yes, honey, it looks like you did,” I said as I guided her out of the room.

We walked into the living room and I helped Becky into the chair, taking a seat on the sofa beside Tom.  His leg brushed mine, and he pulled it away, sharply.  I looked at him, realising for the first time that he hadn’t made eye contact with me since I’d left him in the kitchen.  He looked sad and my heart broke as I realised he probably wasn’t too happy at the thought of his mind being manipulated.

“Shit sticks,” said Becky randomly.

I looked across, and she was still away with the fairies.

“You know, Jen, maybe you’re right.  Maybe if I do look after my magic, it will get better.”

I remembered her polishing her athame before the spell and fought the compulsion to roll my eyes.

We sat there in silence for a moment, waiting for a sign that we could re-join the others.  I looked at Tom beneath my lashes and he was still looking at the floor, a confused and sad expression on his face.

Spence came into the living room first, followed closely by Jonathan and instantly I stood up.

“Everything ok between you two?” I asked and felt Tom tense up beside me.  Still afraid of the ghosties, the big softie.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Spence replied, his voice still suspiciously deep and his eyes particularly glassy.

“Have you explained to him what we need?” I asked.

“He’s told me,” said Jonathan, stepping forward.  “But I don’t think having the formula will help you at all.”

“Why?” I asked, disappointment flooding through me.

“Because you need a lab and equipment to make it.  A lab you don’t have unless I’m very much mistaken.  And it’s not like baking cakes, girls, there is a complex process to follow.”

I resisted the urge to punch him for being a sexist pig as it wouldn’t have any effect.  Instead, I sat back in my seat and sighed, pondering on the problem.

“What is it?” Becky asked, sitting on the edge of her seat.

I explained to Becky and Tom what Jonathan had said.  Tom lifted his head and looked into my eyes for the first time that night.

“Then we definitely need Emanuel’s help.  He’s the only one with the resources to be able to finance a lab.”

“Yes, but what about making up the formula?” I asked.

Jonathan looked across at me.  “I could help you.  I could give you instructions and you could be my assistant, as it were.”

I looked at him, unconvinced.  “Jonathan, I can’t even make toast without burning it.  I don’t think I’d be the best person to do this.”

“I could help,” said Becky, obviously catching the drift of a one-ended conversation.

Tom frowned.  “No, I think I know just the person.  He’s a scientist, of sorts.  He’s a coroner.  He should be able to follow instructions.”

“We can’t get anyone else involved in this, Tom.  It may be dangerous.  Besides, won’t they freak out when they realise their being given instructions by a ghost?”

“Don’t worry.  He’s a little different himself,” he said.

11 – After Dark

Tom

It was an hour to sunrise as I stood beside Jen, just inside the door of St. Matthew’s Church, watching Emanuel’s car as it pulled up in front of us.

“I cannot believe we’re doing this,” said Monty out of the side of his mouth.

“No talking,” Jen whispered back.

“Oh God, I think I’m going to wet my knickers,” Becky said, her voice shaking.  Despite being terrified, she had insisted on coming along.  More so because I don’t think she wanted to be alone in my house.  I must admit, I wouldn’t have wanted to be alone there myself.

“You’ll be fine,” I assured her.  “Just remember, do not make eye contact and no telling them anything until we talk about it.”

I watched as the driver held the door open for Mabel.  Emanuel stepped out of the car and turned to face the church.  He walked around the side of the car and came up beside Mabel, his tall frame dwarfing her.  He turned his head and looked straight into Jen’s eyes.

I saw the change instantly.   Lust was written all over her face and it made me sick to the stomach.  It suddenly occurred to me that what Becky had done was no better than what any vampire does when it lures in its prey.  She had made me lust after Jen.  The question was, had she made Jen lust after me?

I nudged Jen sharply to shake her out of it.   “Don’t look in his eyes, Jen,” I reminded her, and she obediently dropped her gaze.  The lustful look instantly disappeared, leaving her looking slightly confused and disorientated.

“It's mind control, Jen.  Just don’t look at him and you’ll be fine,” I said, squeezing her arm in support.

Emanuel guided Mabel down the path, his hand on her back as she clip-clopped towards us.  High heels, at her age, were not a good idea.

They stopped three feet in front of us and Emanuel smiled as he looked at Jen.

“Jennifer Owens, a pleasure to see you again.  I was disappointed you didn’t call me,” he said.  Jesus, even his accent was sexy.  I hated this guy.

“Your card only had your name on it.  Even if I’d wanted to, which I didn’t, I couldn’t have called you,” Jen replied.

“All you had to do was say my name, beautiful woman, and I would have come to you.”  I wanted to put my fingers down my throat and gag.  That or punch him in the face.

“It’s a good job you aren’t from round here, then, because that trick’s more likely to get you a good thump than a date,” Jen replied and I mentally high-fived her.

I watched out of the corner of my eye as Emanuel smiled in delight.  He obviously liked strong women, I thought.  I put my arm around Jen’s shoulders.

Emanuel threw back his head and laughed, then turned to Becky who started to quake beside me.  I clasped her hand in mine and held on.

“Rebecca McAllister, the witch extra-ordinaire.” I felt his smile.

“I’m a vegetarian,” said Becky, trembling.  I held in a laugh.  Like that would stop them if they wanted to have her for dinner.

“Good to know,” said Emanuel, and Mabel snorted.

“And you must be Tom,” Emanuel said, taking a step away from Mabel and standing, legs akimbo, hands at his side.  Was he about to challenge me to a duel or what?

I nodded in his direction.  “Emanuel, I take it?”

“It’s bloody freezing out here, how about we take this inside?” Mabel said, rubbing her gloved hands together.  Emanuel hissed sharply at her and she blushed.  She’d obviously forgotten he couldn’t set foot on hallowed ground.

“We’re good here,” Jen replied.  Another high-five.

“You don’t trust easily, do you Jennifer?” Emanuel asked. She almost turned to answer him and I squeezed her arm again, reminding her not to meet his eyes.  She dropped her eyes to the floor.

“I need to understand how you got involved in this and what it is you want from me,” she said, emotionally detached.  She wasn’t giving anything away.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw Baptiste nod his head.

“It is natural you would want assurances.  I understand that despite your occupation, you are a woman of moral character,” he replied.

I looked at Jen, realising for the first time I actually knew very little about her.  What the hell did she do for a living?

“You’re a vampire and you’re asking me about my morals?  At the very least I haven’t killed anyone,” Jen snapped back.

Baptiste continued.  “A member of my family was killed. The vampire who killed him is why I came to England.  I want him to pay for what he has done.  In the process of tracking him, I was led to believe he may be able to give me something that I want even more than that.  Mortality.”

“You want to become human?” Jen asked.

“I want to have the right to age and die like everyone else.  Seven hundred years on earth is enough penance for anyone to pay.”

“Pay?” I demanded.  “I thought you vampires valued your immortality?”

“Would you, Tom Cooper?  Ah yes, I’ve done my homework.  I know who you are.  And that is not a threat, simply an indication that I take this situation very seriously.  But getting back to your question.  Seven hundred years of loving and losing those around me.  Seven hundred years of seeing the worst in mankind and fighting my own instincts not to wipe them out.  Would you want immortality?  Because that’s a lot longer than seven hundred years, my friend.”

“I’m not your friend,” I said through gritted teeth.

“You are a slayer, you are born to hate, to fight, to destroy, Tom Cooper.  I understand you, I really do.  But not all vampires are killers who have no regard for human life.  I have killed, yes, I admit it.  But only because I hadn’t yet learned to control my urges.  I haven’t taken a human life in six hundred and fifty years.”

I tensed, wondering what Jen would make of that little statement.  She knew I was a slayer but had she considered what that actually meant?

“Why now?” I demanded.  I wasn’t sure where the question came from but something told me it was important.

“The opportunity has presented itself, Tom Cooper,” he said.  “I don’t understand why you would ask.”

“You can take your own life any time you choose, Emanuel Baptiste,” I said, stealing his use of the full name.  “Chain yourself outdoors and wait for sunrise.  Run at a stake.  Jump in a lake of fucking holy water.  I’m not buying it.  Why now?  Why do you want to be human?”

“Before I was turned, I was a priest in the Catholic church,” he said.  “I value my soul and if there is a chance I can get it back, I will take it.”

I felt Jen’s head snap up, and I looked at her.  She was staring at Baptiste with a look of shock on her face.  A look that was rapidly turning into one of lustful longing.  For a fleeting moment, anger overtook me and I wanted nothing more than to dive on Baptiste and spike the bastard through the heart.  I pulled myself together and grabbed on to Jen just before she took the fateful step out of the door and away from the protection of the church.  She struggled against me like a wildcat, trying to dig her fingernails into my face in an attempt to get me to release her.

“Fight it, Jen, look at me.”  I turned her head to me and the minute she broke eye contact, the struggle went out of her and she looked up at me, confused again.  I saw shame in her face and I had to fight the desire to go after the vampire once more.

“I had no desire to harm either one of you.  You have my word,” Emanuel said.

“We don’t have much time left,” Mabel warned, looking at her watch.

“If we manage to get the cure and we give it to you, what will you do with it?” I asked him.

“I will share it with whoever wishes to use it.  There are many who would prefer to be human.  Despite what you think, Tom Cooper, not many vampires had a choice in becoming what they are.”

“Why should we help you?” Jen asked.

“You are an intelligent woman, Jennifer.  You know that while there is a chance you can retrieve that formula, you are at risk. Not from me but from those that would prevent you from making this available as a weapon that can be used against all vampires.  I simply want to help you in any way I can.  If you choose to help us to reconstruct the formula, I offer you my protection.  If you don’t choose to help us, I still offer you my protection and I vow to destroy all those that would harm you.”

Jen sucked in a breath.  “Why?” she asked.

Emanuel paused, then turned and looked at the skyline.  I wondered if he was imagining a day when he could watch the sunrise or whether he was checking to see his ass was about to be fried.

Eventually, he turned back towards Jen and answered.

“Because while you live, there is always hope.  I haven’t experienced hope in many years, Jennifer.  I have no desire to see it extinguished.”

The driver came forward and touched Emanuel’s arm, nodding in a silent message that they had run out of time.

Emanuel turned to Jen.  “Call my name and I will be there, should you decide to assist,” he said, before turning on his heel and marching back to the car.

Mabel looked Jen in the eye.  “You can trust him, Jennifer.  He wants the formula for the right reasons.”

With that, she spun on her heel and hobbled back to the car.

Movement caught my eye, and I looked up in time to see a man standing on the roof of the house opposite, wearing what looked to be a leather duster jacket.  He stepped back, then leaped on to the adjoining roof, agile as a cat, then dropped down out of sight.  I looked across the street and saw similar shadows and shapes slowly retreating.

I pulled Jen out of the way and closed and bolted the door.

“Did you see them?” Becky asked, shaking.

“Yes, I saw them,” I replied, taking Jen and Becky by the arm and guiding them along to the vestry.  It was a small room at the back of the church and at the very least had chairs that were slightly more comfortable than the pews out front.  We’d need to wait for sunrise and I wasn’t doing it sitting on those planks of wood.  I guided the girls to chairs and worried a little that Jen hadn’t said a word.

I knelt down in front of her, taking her hands in mine.

“Are you ok?”

Her eyes came up to mine, and I saw the fear and confusion.

“There were hundreds of them.  There are hundreds of them.  He’s right.  I’m not safe, am I?” she asked.

I released her hands and made my way to the desk, pulling open the top drawer to find Vicar Andrew’s secret whisky stash.  A quart bottle was tucked behind his papers and I pulled it out, unscrewing the cap and handing it to her.

“Drink.  It’ll keep the cold out while we wait,” I told her.

She took the bottle from me with shaking hands and lifted it to her lips, taking a swallow and grimacing before handing it to Becky.

“Jen, I’m not going to lie to you.  This is a dangerous situation to be in, but you have me and I will keep you safe, I promise.  Whatever it takes.”

“What, for the rest of my life?” she scoffed.

I saw the first spark of anger in her.  That was better than the fear I’d seen earlier and I welcomed it.  I knelt down in front of her again, catching her hands in mine.

“Whatever it takes,” I repeated and meant every word, spell or no damn spell.

“It’s cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey in here,” Becky complained, standing up and placing the whisky on the desk, then banging her hands together.  “Why is it that churches are always freezing, even in the middle of summer?”

“Were they goodies or baddies, do you think?” asked Monty in his new high-pitched squeak as he waddled across the floor and settled himself down next to Jen.

“They didn’t attack him so I imagine they’re his protection,” I replied, pulling a hand through my hair.  I looked again at Jen and the weariness in her face reminded me that none of us had slept yet, and it was late.  Very late.  Or very early since it was now almost six in the morning.

“We need to get you all home,” I said to her as she stifled a yawn.  I walked across to the small window and looked out.  Dawn was breaking now, banishing the blackness.  It was safe enough to leave.

We walked the ten minutes back to the house, and I remained on high alert all the way.  Vampires might not be a threat right at this moment but there was nothing to say they hadn’t sent humans to capture us.  Monty the super-spy obviously had the same idea and stopped at every corner, slid up to it and peeked around to see if the way was clear.  Unfortunately, his ability to use stealth was very much decreased with the tiny bell on his collar jingling as he ran.  Where the hell had that come from?

I remembered the moment when Becky had waved her stick and Monty had changed in the blink of an eye.  If she was capable of that, she was definitely capable of casting love spells.  As much as I wanted Jen, I was relieved she’d stopped things from going any further.  I felt manipulated, and that didn’t make me happy.  What made me feel even worse was the possibility that what I saw in Jen’s eyes was there for the same reason.  A spell.  A stupid, stupid spell.

When we got back to the house, I directed Becky to the spare room and followed Jen into my bedroom to retrieve some sweat pants and a t-shirt, as well as bedding.  I wasn’t looking forward to sleeping on the sofa.  I looked longingly at my bed and the thought of Jen lying across it, naked, came to mind.  I had to turn away before my body’s responses gave me away.

“Sweet dreams, Jen,” I said as I walked out and closed the door behind me.

As I entered the living room, Monty looked up from his position, curled up on the chair.

“No farting,” I warned him and he put his head back down.

“You should talk,” he squeaked, closing his eyes ready to sleep.

I quickly changed into the sweats, then flopped down on the sofa, pulling the blanket over me and closing my eyes.  It was no good.  The minute my eyes closed, hers were looking at me.

When I thought about her, I instantly felt myself harden and mentally gave myself a good kick.  She was right.  All the time, she’d been trying to tell me I was bewitched.  She didn’t feel anything for me and even this boner that was now keeping me awake wasn’t down to her.  I’d seen what Becky was capable of.  I was now a believer.

I didn’t want to believe.  I wanted to believe that what I saw in Jen’s eyes was real.  And it was for me.  Jen wasn’t just hot, she was funny and compassionate and extremely brave.  How many women had I met that wouldn’t run screaming from the room if they met a vampire?  She’d stood her ground and hadn’t given him an inch.

Memories of her came unbidden to my mind.  Holding Mabel as she’d cried.  Her sad face when she thought Spencer might have left her for good.  Her eyes, dark with desire, after I’d kissed her senseless.  I groaned as I remembered the feel of her breast in my hand.

“Hands above the blankets,” Monty said in his high-pitched squeak.

I turned on my side, away from him.  I wanted to forget about her, close my eyes and go to sleep but damn it, she was sleeping in my bedroom and the thought of her sprawled out across my bed was driving me insane.

“Jesus Christ, why don’t you just go up and sniff her crotch?” Monty asked.

“That’s likely to get me brained, Monty.  It doesn’t work that way with humans.”

“Then go lick your balls or something but quit with the tossing and turning.  A fella is trying to get some sleep over here.”

“Humans can’t lick their own balls, Monty.”

Monty sniggered.

“Yeah, but we don’t have to have someone pick up our shit either.”

“Either you shut up and go to sleep or I shit in your shoe.  Then you can pick up my shit.”

I smiled to myself and closed my eyes.  Jen’s eyes looked back at me, her nipples showing beneath her nightdress.  I groaned.

Monty huffed and stood up.  He launched himself at the sofa with remarkable speed given the size of his legs.  Before I knew it, he cocked his leg and pissed on the blanket.  I jumped up and shoved him off.

“What the fuck did you do that for?” I demanded, jumping off the sofa before I got soaked.

“Now you can’t sleep there, can you?” he snapped, as he jumped back down and settled himself in front of the fire again.

I looked at him in disbelief.  Then I smiled.  He was right, I couldn’t sleep there now.

“Bad dog,” I chastised him, smiling, before I walked out of the room and made my way silently up the stairs.  I considered Jen’s reaction for a second and wondered if I was risking being brained with a lamp again but decided she was worth it.  I just needed to be close to her.

I tapped on the door gently, waiting for her to call me in.  When she did, I pushed it open and looked around the side.

“Room for one more, if I promise to behave?  Monty’s had an accident on the sofa,” I said, fingers crossed behind my back.

She looked at me for a second and I thought she was going to turn me away.

“Sure,” she said eventually, pulling the covers back in invitation.

I climbed in beside her and lay on my back, hardly daring to breathe.  We lay like that for what felt like an age, neither one of us moving.  I sensed her tension as well as my own.

“Do you wish you’d never met me?” she asked, breaking the silence.

I felt her vulnerability and couldn’t help myself.  I turned on my side and pulled her into me, spooning her and resting my arm across her waist.

“Why would you ask that?” I whispered.

“You’re right in the middle of a war now, between two factions of blood-thirsty vampires.  I haven’t exactly brought you luck.  You’ve spent the last week babysitting me.  Surely you have your own life to return to?”

I pushed myself up and turned her head to me so I could gaze at her beautiful face.  I lifted my hand and stroked her soft cheek.  Yes, I had a life.  I worked in my mother’s garden centre during the day and at night, I killed vampires.  I had Friday nights with the boys down at the club and on Saturdays, I usually visited my sister.  Saturday nights were date night, if I’d been lucky that week.  Just a week ago, that life had seemed fulfilling, fun even.  Now?  I looked down at her and realised that everything that was missing from my life was lying here beside me.  I didn’t care about spells or mind control, all I cared about was this woman.  She made me feel alive in a way I never had before.

“This is my life, Jen.  This is what I do, day in and day out.  I fight with vampires.  And there is nowhere I would rather be, right now, than right beside you.”

She had no idea how true those words were.  Man, I had it bad.

I flopped back down but kept my arm over her.  The feel of her beside me was driving me crazy.  Her back against my chest and her rear parked right where I would want it.  Except we were both clothed.  I felt myself hardening and quickly turned on my back so she wouldn’t feel it and go running from the room.

I thought about the whole situation.  She was the first woman in an admittedly long line of women who had captured my heart, and she was bewitched.  I wondered what might have happened if Becky hadn’t meddled.  Would we have had the same attraction to each other?

“What made Becky do it?” I whispered, finally.  Truth be told, I just wanted to hear her voice.  That was, until I felt her squirm beside me.

“I guess she just wanted to see me settled,” she said, but I sensed more.

“What aren’t you telling me?” I whispered, and she tensed, her breath catching in her throat.

“There’s nothing to tell, go to sleep,” she commanded, but I could hear it in her voice.

I sighed.  “Whatever it is, it’s your choice to tell me or not.  I respect that and apologise if you think I was prying.”

We went back to being silent, but I knew neither one of us was even close to sleep now.

“She’s trying to get me laid,” she said, breaking the silence, and I felt my cock twitch in response, offering its services.  I was so pleased I’d turned away from her.  Something didn’t make sense, though, and I pondered on what she’d said.

“Jen, you’re beautiful and incredibly sexy.  Why would your best friend be trying to get you laid?”

“Let’s just say I have bad taste in men and leave it at that,” she said, lying rigid beside me.

“Let’s not,” I replied, sitting up and resting my head on my arm.  “Come on, you can tell me,” I urged.

There was silence and for a moment I didn’t think she was going to respond.

“I’ve never had an orgasm,” she whispered.

I thought I hadn’t heard her correctly.  “Say that again?” I asked.

She twisted herself away from me and I realised I’d heard her perfectly.

***

Jen

His hand went to my hair and stroked it back from my face and I still refused to look at him.  I couldn’t believe I’d actually told him.  What, was I hoping he’d offer his services?

“Jen?” he whispered.  I refused to turn around, my face flaming with embarrassment.

He leant down and kissed my earlobe and I tensed as heat filled my core.  “Let me make love to you,” he whispered between soft kisses.

I stiffened again.  “I do not need a mercy fuck from you or anyone else, Tom Cooper.  Back off, or you’re on the floor.”

He laughed.  If I was embarrassed before, I was mortified now.

“It wouldn’t be a mercy fuck, as you put it, Jen,” he said, and continued to kiss the tender skin on my neck.  “I need you so badly it’s driving me insane.”  He pulled me into him and I felt his need pressed against my spine, my own ratcheting up to a fever pitch.

His tongue came out and laved the edge of my ear and I melted.  No longer capable of resisting, I justified my actions.  Becky had lifted his spell.  If this was just sex for him, then so be it.  If I had nothing else, I would give myself this one night with him.  The truth of it was, there was no decision to make.  My body had already decided and his hand now dancing delicately across my nipple had no bearing whatsoever on my decision.

I turned in his arms and his lips captured mine, his tongue dancing across my lower lip, then thrusting into my mouth as his hand came up and fisted in my hair.  I pressed my body into his, frustrated at the clothes that separated our skin.  He must have read my mind because he lifted away from me, pulling his top from his body and I gasped at the sight of his naked chest and taut abs.  The man could be a model he was so perfect.  He stepped off the bed and pulled his sweatpants down over his massive bulge and I feasted my eyes greedily, watching as a tiny bead of liquid appeared on the swollen head.  I moved forward, wanting nothing more than to taste him but he pulled away, pushing me back down on to the pillows as he kneeled on the floor in front of me.

“No, baby, tonight is all about you,” he said, gripping my nightdress in both hands and pulling, tearing it completely in two and leaving my body open to his gaze.  His head came down, and he captured a nipple gently between his teeth, closing his mouth over the swollen peak and sucking as his hand travelled south and probed my opening.  I almost lifted off the bed in sheer ecstasy as he rubbed his fingers backwards and forwards, sending ribbons of pleasure dancing up and down my body.  I groaned loudly, unable to help myself any more.  His mouth came up and claimed my lips as he climbed on the bed beside me, one hand still massaging me.

“You’re so wet,” he whispered in my mouth as he continued his ministrations.  I felt the pleasure rise within me.

“I need to be inside you baby,” he said, jumping off the bed and going to the dresser to retrieve his condoms.  He took one out of the packet and tore the foil.

“Give it to me,” I said, wanting the pleasure of smoothing the thin latex down over his shaft. He did as I bid and knelt down in front of me, presenting me with his engorged member.  I quickly captured him in my mouth, determined to taste him just once before putting on the rubber and he hissed in pleasure as my lips wrapped around him.

“This is about you, remember?” he said, hoarsely, pulling himself out of my mouth.  I slowly teased the latex the full length of him and he pushed me down on the bed, turning me so that he was behind me and moving my leg to allow him access to my most private place.  His hand came around my stomach and dipped, once again finding my bud and his gentle caress almost sky-rocketed me off the bed.  He slid his fingers to my opening, pressing down gently and rubbing the area before inserting his fingers inside me.

I clung to the pillow in desperation as I felt the whirlpool of sensation building up inside of me.  When I thought I couldn’t take any more, he withdrew his fingers and positioned himself over me.  In one fell swoop he slid himself inside me, stretching me to my limits, and holding still to allow us both to savour the moment.  His fingers returned to my clit, and he stroked it slowly as he continued to pump slowly into me.  I groaned as he rocked himself gently back and forth, sliding in and out and my legs strained against the pleasure.

His mouth latched on to my earlobe and he sucked it gently.  I was overwhelmed with sensation, my breasts pressed down onto the sheet, my body being so lovingly and gently massaged, his cock buried deep and his mouth sending shivers of delight all over my body.  One more thrust and I passed the point of no return.  My body tensed, on the pinnacle of pure pleasure. One more, and I was over the edge crying out my release as my body exploded in rapture.  He picked up the pace, slamming into me now as wave after wave of pleasure shook me, my muscles contracting around his member and feeling the full length of him inside me as I came apart.  One more thrust and he was there with me, groaning and straining into me.  I felt him throbbing in release as his arm came back up and gripped me closer to him and I revelled in the feel of his entire body shuddering in pleasure.

I lay there, gasping for breath with the biggest smile on my face I’d ever had.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about!” yelled Becky from the room next door.  I was too elated to care, but I felt Tom’s laughter as he chuckled silently, his body still trapped in mine.  I didn’t want this moment to ever end and was bereft when he pulled out of me and turned to grab a tissue and deal with the rubber.  I didn’t move.  Not one muscle. By the time he climbed back into bed and cuddled into me, I was already snoring.

***

Monty landed with a thump on my stomach and my eyes flew open as I grunted in pain.

“Monty!  Will you get off the bed?” I snapped.  Then I looked at his big cheesy smile.    “You’re back to normal!” I said, looking at him.

“Yeah, isn’t it great?” he said, doing a full three-sixty degree turn.

“What happened?” I asked, trying to brush the sleep out of my eyes and see if this was for real or I’d dreamt it.

“Tom showed Becky where to get some wild sticklewort and she reversed the spell!  It worked!”

“So how come you’re still talking?” I asked, wondering why Becky would reverse one and not the other.

Monty looked at me with his big sad eyes.  “Do you really want me to stop talking?”

I looked at him for a second before stroking the fur beneath his ear.  “No, I guess not.  I kind of like that you’re a smart mouth,” I said, smiling at him.

“That’s good.  That’s what Becky said you would say,” he said, then proceeded to jump on me and lick my face.

I cuddled him to me, then chucked him off the bed.  “When I say off the bed, I mean it,” I said as he landed on all fours.

“You’re no fun, you know that?  I thought with you having had a good seeing to last night you might at least be in a better mood!”

“Monty, has Becky got any of that sticklewort left?” I asked, threatening him.

He turned and looked at me.  “You feelin’ lucky, punk?”

Then he farted and left the room.

12 – Running for Home

Exactly one minute later, I was standing at the door of the kitchen, tying my dressing gown and watching Tom and Becky, who were both dressed and ready for the day.  I watched them, chatting as if they’d known each other a lifetime, laughing together.  God, that man was sexy.

Tom spotted me and stood up to greet me.  I walked into the kitchen, uncertain.  I wasn’t sure of the protocol, now.  Do I kiss him?  Ignore what happened and treat him as usual?  What?  He helped me out by stepping towards me and pecking me on the forehead before turning to the percolator and getting me a cup of coffee.

I climbed in his still warm seat and drank heavily, conscious of his large frame as he took the seat next to me, his leg brushing mine.

Becky looked at me, questioningly.

“What?” I snapped.

“Good morning?” she said pointedly, and I realised that I’d been so focused on Tom that I’d not spoken to her.

“Good morning,” I said, blushing as I took another drink of coffee.

“So… last night…,” Becky started.

“I am not discussing it,” I said, startled.

She laughed.  “I’m talking about Emanuel, but feel free to regale me with your tale of lust.  You can fill in the blanks where I couldn’t actually hear what was going on.”

“Hear, hear!” agreed Monty from beneath the table.

Tom sniggered, and I pushed his leg away with my thigh.

“So?” she asked again when I still didn’t respond.

“Well, we have to involve him, we have no choice,” I said, looking between them.

Tom rubbed his chin.  “I think you’re right.  If we need a lab…,”  he trailed off and looked at Becky.

“But do you trust him?” asked Becky, ever the pragmatist.

“No,” said Tom

“Yes,” said I.

“Good, then we’re all agreed,” replied Becky.  “So, how do we call him, just say his name?”

“It’s the middle of the day,” I said.

“Sure, why not?” Tom butted in, smiling at me. “I could use some more fertiliser.”

Becky looked at him, confused.

“Ash?  It’s great for the soil,” he said, laughing.

“What, you want that more than you want to cure the world of the curse of the vampires?” I asked sweetly.

“Well, when you put it like that…”

Becky shook her head in disgust.  “For God’s sake, you two go back upstairs and bonk each other again.  Get it out of your system.”

I kicked her under the table.  She grimaced at me, rubbing her ankle.

“So, if you two can behave yourselves for five minutes, what’s our next step?  We wait for nightfall and then call him?”

“Too dangerous,” Tom jumped in.  “We need to meet on hallowed ground again.”

“Won’t work,” I said, shaking my head.

Tom looked at me, shocked.

“Why not?”

“Because spirits can get sucked up on hallowed ground.  It’s a bit like bumping into the headmaster when you’re out playing hooky from school.”

“So why’s that a problem?” asked Becky, clearly confused.

“Because Jonathan will have to be there, won’t he?  I haven’t the first clue what we’ll need to tell him to get!”

“Why can’t you just get him to write it down for you?” asked Becky.

“Well, let me see, because he’s dead!” I laughed.

She rolled her eyes at me.  “You have no imagination, you know that?  You write it then!”

I looked at her.  “Ah, you’re not so green as your cabbage looking!”

She rolled her eyes again, climbing out of her seat to take her cup to the sink.

“Tom, I think you’ve addled her brains.  Too much jiggery-pokery,” she said.

“All right!” said Tom, obviously having had enough.  “So the plan is, you contact Jonathan and Spence, write down what they need.  There’s a computer in the office you can use.  I need to go visit my mother before she has a fit.  I’ll take Monty - it’ll be his walk for the day.  Becky, are you staying tonight?”

“I can’t, I have work tomorrow,” she replied.

“Ok then, well, I’ll see you soon, I hope,” Tom said, standing and walking to the door.

“Your mother got a dog?” asked Monty, looking up at him.

“Why?” I asked, puzzled.  Was he lonely?  Did he want someone his own kind to play with?

“Well, he humped my female, thought I’d get in a little tit for tat,” he said, sauntering off towards the door.  “Dogs’ rules, my friend.  You have to forfeit.”

“She’s got a Burmese cat,” Tom said as he held the door open for Monty to walk through.

“I am not humping a cat.”

“Why not?  She’s cute,” Tom laughed, following him out of the door.  No kiss this time, I noticed.

I looked across at Becky who had obviously been watching me staring after Tom.

“You so want to shag him,” she said.

“Too late,” I said, sticking my tongue out at her.

***

It was an hour to sunrise as we stood inside the door of St. Matthew’s Church, watching the car as it pulled up in front of us.

“I cannot believe we’re doing this.  Again,” said Monty out of the side of his mouth.

I ignored him as I watched Emanuel climb out of the car, then scanned the horizon to see if his vampires were evident.  I couldn’t see anything but I felt a thousand eyes on me.  A shiver ran down my spine.  I silently agreed with Monty.  I couldn’t believe we were doing it, either.

“Remember the rules?” Tom asked.

“Don’t make eye contact, don’t step out of the church,” I said, thinking as I did so that this was a switch; normally it was me saying that.  Monty sniggered behind me, obviously coming to the same conclusion.

Emanuel walked to the front of the car, waiting patiently for the driver to free Mabel from her seat.  They walked together to within a few feet of us and I averted my eyes.

“Jennifer Owens,” Emanuel said and I could hear the smile in his voice.  Crikey, I didn’t think I could take another first name, surname conversation.  All this cloak and dagger stuff was wearing me down.

“If I look at you, are you going to do that mind-voodoo shit again?” I asked.

“No!” Tom said, stepping in front of me.

“I think your boyfriend fears the competition,” laughed Emanuel.

“Can you two put your testosterone away so we can get on with it?  I’m not getting any younger!” snapped Mabel.

I stepped in.  “What I’m asking, Emanuel, is can I trust you?”

“My lady, you can trust me to take you to heaven and back.  Just say the word.”

“Watch your mouth,” Tom snarled.

Tired of their boy-games, I side-stepped Tom and stood in front of Emanuel.  Tom gripped me by the forearm.  It hurt, but I wasn’t going to show it.

“There, now that wasn’t so hard, was it?” asked Emanuel, as I looked defiantly into his eyes.  The pull started in my core and I smacked him across the face.

“If you want me to trust you, you’ve got to knock that off.  And you know, there’s something to be said for having a body in your bed that chose to be there all on their own.”  Tom’s fingers loosened marginally.

Emanuel put his hand to his cheek and laughed.  “I deserved that.  My apologies.  I sometimes forget that humans should be treated with respect.  I do enjoy playing with my food.” He eyeballed Tom who still wasn’t making eye contact.

“You’re not fooling anyone,” I said waspishly.

Emanuel laughed.  If he wasn’t such a pain in the arse he’d be attractive, I mused.  “Now, here’s the deal.  We’ll work with you to reproduce the formula but there are certain things that need to be acquired,” I said, finally getting down to business.

“What sort of things?” Emanuel asked.

“Oh nothing too major, just a lab and a whole series of expensive medical equipment,” I said, handing him the list.

He didn’t flinch.  I guess being over six hundred years old allowed you to amass a fair amount of wealth.

“Consider it done,” he said.  “And how do you propose going about reconstructing the formula?” he asked.

“We’ve got it covered, don’t worry.  How soon can you get the lab set up?” I asked.

Emanuel looked at me, then looked at the list.  He scratched his head, then looked at me again. “I have no idea, not having done this before.  I’ll get back to you,” he replied.

“There’s something you should know,” Tom said, stepping forward, his eyes narrowed.

Emanuel turned on him and for a fraction of a second his eyes burned blood red.  It was so quick, for a moment I thought I’d imagined it.  I guess there really was no love lost between these two.

“The Frog has taken another scientist.”

“Then we need to work quickly.”

***

Monty scratched up against a tree trunk and then shook himself.  “You know, all these late nights are playing havoc with my skin,” he said, trotting off in front of us as we walked back to the house.

I looked at Tom out of the corner of my eye. I had butterflies in my stomach that I didn’t want to own up to.  We were walking back to his house and this time, it was empty.  I wondered what would happen if we’d end up in bed together again and I felt a now familiar swell in my nether regions.  I wouldn’t turn him down if he asked nicely.  I smiled to myself.

Tom stopped in his tracks and grabbed me by the arm.

“Stay right next to me.  Monty, get over here,” he said.

I looked at him confused.  Surely it couldn’t be vampires; dawn was at most minutes away.  Or had Peterson cracked the formula and now vamps could come out during the day?

I scanned the area, startled, but couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary.

Tom took me by the hand and started to jog, pulling me along with him and Monty keeping pace at his heel.  His eyes constantly scanned the rooftops and dark corners and a sense of foreboding stole over me.  Had they found me?  Was I about to become some vampire’s supper?

We were running down a deserted road now, only minutes away from Tom’s house but the bushes presented lots of opportunities for us to be surprised.

We reached the end of the road safely and turned into the driveway, Tom still holding tightly to my hand.

“Oh shit,” Tom said, stopping in his tracks.  The door to the house was wide open and the lights were on.  Pulling me behind him, Tom advanced slowly to the door and looked inside.  Nothing.

We stepped into the hallway and as we did so, Monty raced straight through to the kitchen, barking for all he was worth.

“Stay here,” Tom said as he ran to follow him.

I ran straight after him, skidding into his back on the tiled floor when he stopped abruptly in front of me.

A man, looking very much like a pirate, was sitting on the bench with his legs in the air, obviously trying to keep his black cowboy boots away from Monty’s snapping jaws.  I’d have let him have them myself.  The buckle was hideous.  He had long black hair and was wearing leather trousers with a white, ruffled shirt and, despite his thin frame, was rather handsome.

“Down boy!” he shouted at Monty.

“What the fuck are you wearing?” Tom said.  I looked at him in amazement.  Someone breaks in to your house and your first concern is his dress sense?

“Do you like it? It was Vamp Night at Operas.  I wanted the leather waistcoat to go with the pants but they didn’t have it in my size,” he said as he pulled the ruffles up on the front of his shirt.  There was a suspicious looking stain the size of a penny on one of the ruffles and the pirate tried to scratch it off with his incredibly long fingernails.

Monty growled and jumped up as a foot dangled a little lower than before.  The pirate pulled his leg up again.

“So what are you doing here?” Tom asked, scratching his head.  Then I realised, he must know this joker.

“Call the fucking dog off and I’ll tell you!” the pirate pouted.

“Monty, heel!” I commanded.

Monty stopped in his tracks and looked at me.

“Are you for real?” he asked, disgusted.

“Hey, neat trick!” said the pirate, still not moving from the bench.  Wise man.  I wouldn’t trust Monty either.

“Shouldn’t you be somewhere round about now?” asked Tom pointedly.

“Well, if you hadn’t been gallivanting half the night, then I would be there now, wouldn’t I?”

“Loft, now!” Tom said, moving towards the door.

“Will you just hold your horses?  There’s something you need to know!”

“Does someone want to tell me what’s going on?” I asked, folding my arms and tapping my foot.  Tom obviously knew this character but why the hell was he taking him to the loft?

“Hi, I’m Josh,” the pirate said, finally jumping down but giving Monty a wide berth as he stretched across to offer me his hand.  I held it for all of one second before pulling my arm back, forcefully.

“Bloody hell, you’re freezing!” I said, shocked.

“Yeah, sorry about that.  Being dead kind of does that to you.”

My eyes were like saucers but I didn’t have time to react before he was talking again to Tom.

“They know she’s here.”

Tom’s face turned white.  “What?  How?” he asked as he stepped towards his visitor.

“Don’t you think we could talk about that later?  I have all of what, oh let’s say five minutes before sun up and I don’t tan easily!”

“You’re right,” said Tom.  “Plan B?”

What the fuck was Plan B?  I hoped to God it deserved the capital because I was seriously freaking out now.  A vampire was in the kitchen and Tom knew him?

Tom rushed to the kitchen door, turning the key and pulling it wide.  To the left of the garden stood a garage, and he rushed over to it.  He pressed a code into a keypad  and the door slowly started to open.

“Any time you’re ready!” Josh said, jumping from one foot to another.  The second the door was open far enough, Tom and Josh dived inside.

Wow, well this was fun.  We’d just learned the vampires knew where I was and two men had both run away to hide in the garage, leaving me alone in the garden with only my Jack Russell for protection.

“You think he’s gay?” Monty asked, his ears pricked up as he watched the garage.

“Want to make it interesting?” I asked.

“Tenner?” he said, looking up at me.

“You’re on.  He’s definitely straight.”

“Awe come on, did you see that get-up?  That man is totally batting for the other side.”

“Jen, get in here, now!” Tom shouted, and I headed towards the door, Monty following so close to my heels I almost tripped.

As I entered the garage, Tom was slamming the back door closed on the hearse.  Hearse?  Had I stepped into some alternative reality?

“Get in the car,” he commanded.

“It’s a hearse!” I said, dumfounded, as he grabbed me by the arm and pulled open the passenger door, throwing me none-too-gently into the seat.  Monty jumped into my lap and Tom slammed the door, running around to the driver’s side and climbing in.

“Tom, I don’t want to seem nosey, but what the fuck is going on?” I asked.  I was tired, a little scared and, given my current situation, surprisingly horny.  I couldn’t see any one of those feelings being relieved any time soon, so I was adding slightly irate to that list but that was certainly heading for a promotion to fucking furious if someone didn’t explain.

Tom turned the key in the ignition and the engine purred to life.  We pulled out of the garage and out on to the drive at warp speed and turned sharply out on to the road.  I was pretty certain two wheels were involved and given the size of the vehicle that was particularly stupid.

I was thrown against the door and while the coffin in the back seemed to be fairly well secured, the occupant inside it obviously wasn’t.  There was a thump and a muffled curse from the back of the vehicle.

I grabbed on to Monty to keep him from catapulting across to Tom, almost choking him in the process.

“Seatbelt,” Tom said as he fought with one hand on the wheel to get his own and strap himself in.  I turned my head and grasped the buckle of the seatbelt in my fingers but I was shaking so much it kept slipping back into its housing.  Tom reached across and grabbed it firmly in his hand and pulled it across both me and Monty, clicking it solidly into place as he manoeuvred the car at what must have been eighty miles an hour down the dark and windy road we’d ran down only moments earlier.

The drive from the house to the motorway would normally take five minutes.  We did it in two.  The sun was starting to peak in from the east and the sky had turned from black to grey.  Still, it wasn’t until we were bombing down the motorway that I felt safe enough to engage Tom in a conversation.

“Now, can you please tell me what’s going on?” I asked, trying to remain calm.

“The gig’s up love!” shouted Josh from the coffin.  “They have spies everywhere, the sneaky fuckers!  They’re coming for you and we need to get you out of Dodge, so to speak.”

Tom compressed his lips in frustration.  “How did they find us?” he asked.  Us?  It was me they were after!

“Listen, mate, all I know is what I overheard at Cleo’s.  It was a little hard to concentrate and I might have missed a bit.”

Cleo’s was a hot new nightclub in the west end of Newcastle, famous for its rock and metal music played at deafness-inducing volumes.  The last time I’d gone, I’d had ringing in my ears for a week afterwards.  I silently congratulated him on hearing anything at all.

“What do you mean, hard to concentrate?”  Tom shouted back.

“Well, I was in the lav at the time,” Josh shouted back.  “And you owe me one, Tom.  I had to forfeit a very nice blowjob from an amazingly busty barmaid to come and save your sorry arse!”

I looked down at Monty.  “You owe me a tenner,” I said.  He snorted in disgust.

“So you were in the toilet, then what?” Tom asked, determined to get to the bottom of it.

“A geezer came in and started uran… urin… having a piss, so we stopped and waited, you know, to be polite.  Then two more geezers came in.”

“Can we get the abridged version?” I asked, worried where this was going.

“Well, one geezer said ‘Put it back in your pants quick, they’ve found her’.”

I groaned in frustration.  It appeared Josh had one speed.  I looked out of the corner of my eye at Tom who didn’t appear in the least frustrated.  Obviously he’d had practice dealing with this… this… vampire.  I still couldn’t get my head around that.  Tom was friends with a vampire?  Wasn’t that a bit like a butcher having a pig as a pet?

“What made you think they were talking about Jen?” Tom asked, a frown burrowing in the centre of his forehead.

“I’m getting to that bit, keep your knickers on!” Josh shouted.  “Right, where was I?  Oh yes, ‘Found who’, says another geezer.  I think it was the one having the slash because he stopped pissing.  ‘The broad, you idiot, the one who talks to ghosts,’ says the other geezer.”

“I’m pretty sure they didn’t refer to her as a broad, Josh!” Tom shouted.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, all right, so he called her a prostitute, does that make you feel better, you pedantic prick?”

I gasped and Tom took his eyes off the road to look at me in shock.  The car swerved, and he turned quickly, pulling it back into line.

“I am not a prostitute!” I snapped, glaring at him.

“Whatever, I’m not here to judge you, love,” Josh shouted back.  I slammed my head against the headrest in frustration.  It was a good job he was already in a coffin.  It would save me some time when I throttled him.

“So, then what happened?” shouted Tom.

“What do you mean, what happened?  I dis-engaged from the very hot lady I was with and high-tailed it to your house!  Did I mention she was a double D?”

“Did you see anyone?”

“No mate, but I think I broke my foot on your door.”

“You booted my door in?” Tom asked, incredulous.

“I had no choice mate, I didn’t have my key on me and that old misting under the door thing is just a myth.”

Tom shook his head in disbelief.

“So where are we going now?” Monty asked.  I ruffled the fur on his head.

“I have a camp in the woods.  No one knows about it, we’ll be safe there, for now,” Tom said.

“Oh fuck, man, please tell me you brought toilet roll with you this time!” Josh shouted.

“We’ve got more to worry about than that, Josh.  Besides, I told you it was poison ivy, it was your own fault.”

13 – Sleeping Beauty

The rumbling of the tyres on the tiny stones leading up to the cabin jolted me awake.  I was amazed that I’d managed to fall asleep, given everything that was going on, but going twenty-four hours without sleep I guess my body just shut itself down.

I looked across at Tom as he pulled open the door and, releasing his seatbelt, jumped down and out of the hearse.  I released my own belt and in the process woke Monty who’d been snoring gently on my lap.

As I climbed out of the car, I looked across at Tom.  He had his back to me and his mobile to his ear.  Dropping Monty to the ground, I took the opportunity to look around and inspect our new surroundings.  We were in a clearing surrounded by giant fir trees so tall it was almost dark.  I strained my neck to look up at their lofty peaks and almost toppled over.

I turned full circle and noticed for the first time the cabin situated a little further into the trees.   Made entirely of logs, it looked like something out of a fairy tale and I half expected a wicked witch to come shooting out of the door.   I looked back at Tom and as he was still busy on the phone, decided to make my own way to the cabin.

I walked across and tried turning the handle to open the door.  Locked.  I looked around me and saw a rock about three feet from the door.  I picked it up and hit the jackpot.  A key.

As I opened the door, Monty shot in between my legs.  It was as dark inside as it was out and I decided to go in and see if there was any electricity.  I put my foot across the threshold and a loud creak resounded.  He needed to do something about the floorboards, I thought, as I stepped in.  I pulled my mobile from my pocket and used it as a light, shining it around.

I’d expected spider webs and dingy surroundings but I was pleasantly surprised.  The room was incredibly spacious for a cabin and Monty ran in, sniffing around like crazy.  Two sofas were nestled in one corner of the room and a fairly decent wooden coffee table in the middle.  I looked for a light switch and came up empty handed.  As I shone the light around, I noticed an item of clothing on the sofa and walked across to pick it up, then immediately dropped it when I realised it was a pair of ladies panties.  I guess I knew he wasn’t a monk but the thought of him bringing women here didn’t sit too well.  Not that it was any business of mine.

As I explored further, I found a door at the back of the room and turned the handle to peek inside.  A wood-burning stove stood against one wall.  A small wooden table and two chairs were the only furniture and a large metal bathtub stood against another exit door.

I turned as I heard the floorboard creak to see Tom silhouetted at the door.

“Nice place you’ve got here,” I said.

He scooped down and picked up the underwear, shoving them in his pocket.

I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow.

“You should get some sleep,” he said, ignoring me.  “Where? Here?” I asked him, indicating the sofa.  The sofas weren’t big enough to sleep on but in a pinch I guessed they’d do.

He walked passed me into the kitchen and pulled down a cord that was hanging from the ceiling, lowering a hatch and freeing a rope ladder.

“Up there,” he smiled at me.

I stomped passed him, still in a huff about the knickers.  They couldn’t have been Marks and Spencer’s comfort range; oh no.  They had to be Victoria’s Secret.  I sighed as I shoved my phone in my pocket, freeing my hands for the climb into the loft.

I put my foot on the rung and reached for the slat, lifting myself on to the first step, then the second.  The rope wobbled slightly, but it seemed secured enough.  Getting cocky, I took the third step too quickly and would have come crashing down if Tom hadn’t caught me by the arse and pushed me back up.  My foot found the third step, and I stopped there, holding on tight to the rung and giving myself a moment to catch my breath.  Tom’s hands were still on my arse.  I groaned inside, but then remembered the knickers and stomped up the remaining four rungs without incident, forcing Tom to release me.  I pulled myself up and sat on the floor of the loft.  It was difficult to see anything, so I fumbled in my pocket until I found my phone and used the light app to illuminate my surroundings.

I could just about stand up and I looked around the space.  A beautiful four-poster bed took pride of place, piled high with pillows and draped with the most beautiful golden bedspread I’d ever seen.  Next to it stood a coffin.  Great, he must shag them to death then.

I took a step back and my foot went straight back through the hatch.  Luckily for me, Tom was making his way up at the time and I landed on his head.  This didn’t stop me but it delayed my downward trajectory long enough for me to get a grip on the side of the hatch and haul myself back up.  I looked down over the side to see Tom sprawled out on the floor, Monty looking over him.

“Is he dead?” I asked.

Monty looked up at me.  “You’d think so, wouldn’t you, an arse that size landing on you?”

I glared at him as Tom moaned.

“Are you ok?” I shouted.

Tom sat up and rubbed his head.  “Just peachy,” he replied, looking up at me with a grimace on his face.

“Great,” I said, pulling up the hatch and sliding the bolt to hold it in place.  “Then you won’t mind sleeping on the sofa!”

I heard Tom muttering curses and smiled to myself, satisfied.

“They weren’t mine, Jen,” he shouted.

“What?”

“The ladies’ underwear,” he replied.

“What you choose to wear I the privacy of your own home is none of my business,” I shouted back, deliberately misinterpreting what he had said.  I heard him mumbling again, then Monty’s voice mumbling back at him.

I walked over to the bed and looked down at the sumptuous quilt, about to rub my hand over its silken surface, when I stopped.  A cabin in the woods.  A beautiful bed.  Realisation dawned, and I snatched up the cover and threw it on top of the coffin, quickly followed by the pillows and the sheets.  God knows how many women he’d had in this bed.

I panted with exertion, looking at the pile of bed linen, and then threw myself down on the naked mattress, too exhausted to move.   Within minutes, I was fast asleep.

***

I opened my eyes in pitch blackness and shivered in the cold while I tried to remember where the hell I was.  Then it came to me.  Running away from the house in the dead of night, in fear for my life.  Nothing too drastic, then.

I explored the bed with my fingers until I found my mobile.  I dragged my finger across the screen, and then switched on the light, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from my eyes as I adjusted to the brightness.  I felt sticky and uncomfortable having slept in the clothes I’d worn the day before.  Or was it the night before?  I was losing track.

I climbed off the bed and made my way carefully to the hatch, sliding back the bolt and lowering it to see the kitchen beneath me.  There was flickering light coming from the living area and I heard Tom and Josh talking in subdued tones.  Ah yes, I’d forgotten about our rampant, resident vampire!

“I tell you mate, she was built,” I heard Josh say.  I waited to see what Tom’s response would be but couldn’t make it out.

I climbed down carefully, so as not to break my neck.

“Ah!  It’s sleeping beauty’s ugly sister!” said Monty, standing in the doorway as my foot hit the floor.

“Fuck off, Fido,” I taunted as I waltzed past him into the living room.  Tom was sprawled out on one sofa and Josh in the other, with the ladies’ panties tied to his head like a bandana.  If it wasn’t for the colour, it would have accentuated his pirate look but I don’t imagine Captain Hook ever went in for pink lace.

Tom stood as soon as I entered but I avoided him and went and sat on the floor next to the coffee table.  He sat back down, completely unperturbed.

“So what’s the plan?” I asked.

“We need to call Emanuel,” Tom said.

“Why?” I asked, a little shocked that Tom was so willing after all his protestations.

“Because you need more protection than I can give you,” he replied, his chin dropping to his chest.

“No.  No, I don’t,” I said, looking at him.

“Jen, the Frog has hundreds of vampires in his camp.  Even with Captain Hook here helping me out, we can’t fight that many.  Emanuel is as powerful if not more so than the Frog.  He also has the might of Jackson’s men behind him.  He can keep you safe.”

I felt as if a lead weight had just been slammed into my stomach.

“No offence to Josh here, but I really don’t want to be in the same house as a bunch of blood suckers.”

“You’ll be quite safe, don’t worry.  And I’ll be with you.  I won’t leave you on your own,” Tom said, making eye contact for the first time since he’d dropped his bombshell.

“Just don’t look in their eyes,” Josh said, pointing his finger at me.  “They’ll have your knickers off in a flash!”  His eyeliner was smudged, giving him a gruesome dead look that weirdly suited him, what with the black leather pants and ruffled shirt.  And being dead, of course.

I jumped up and ripped the underwear from his head.  “What, like that you mean?” I asked, throwing them in his face.

“Oh, that’s where they went!” he said, fingering the delicate fabric and smiling to himself.  “Ah yes, I remember them well.  Now that was a night and a half, let me tell you!”

I coloured as I realised that Josh was the culprit and immediately felt petty about not letting Tom share the bed.

“That colour doesn’t suit you,” said Monty.

“Oh these aren’t mine.  Too small in the pouch if you catch my drift.  Besides, I’m a G-string man myself!” Josh threw back.

“All right, cut it out!” Tom said, standing up.  “So do we do it now or what?” he asked me.

“If you think it’s necessary,” I said.  I wanted him to say no.

“So, what do we do, just call his name?” asked Tom, looking at me like he was asking me something entirely different.

“Oh my word, what a cliche,” Josh said, sitting up on the sofa.  “So very ‘E.T. phone home’,” he said in a high-pitched voice, waggling his finger about in front of his face and almost making himself cross-eyed.

“Elliott, beee goood,” Monty parodied.

“Well, what’s it to be?” Tom asked, ignoring them both and still staring intently into my eyes.  I felt as if he were daring me to do it and that made me so angry.  I’d already said I didn’t need the sodding vampire’s protection, hadn’t I?  What did he want from me?

“Emanuel Baptiste,” I said, before I could change my mind.  Tom dropped his eyes sadly, and I immediately felt guilty, followed closely by angry.  Really angry.  He wanted me to call him; challenged me to.  I’d done it and he still wasn’t happy?  What was his sodding problem?  I turned away from him, deciding I’d never know the answer.  Men were just so sodding complicated.

We waited.

Nothing.

“Shouldn’t there be, like, a puff of smoke or something?” Josh asked, his beady, black-lined eyes searching the room from side to side.

“Maybe he didn’t hear you.  Try again,” Tom said.

I sat down cross-legged on the floor.  I closed my eyes and called him the same way I call Spence.  I opened my eyes and searched the room.  Still nothing.

Tom threw himself down in the chair, looking relieved and worried at the same time.

Josh looked at Tom.  “You know, most people use this great new invention.  Maybe you’ve heard of it.  It’s called a te-le-phone,” he said dramatically, jumping to his feet and pulling an iPhone out of his pocket.

“We don’t have a number,” Tom replied.

“Oh boy, you really came well prepared then, didn’t you?  No food, no water and no naffing toilet roll I can forgive you for, but no way to contact the cavalry?  You’re slipping, sonny Jim.”  Josh threw himself back down onto the sofa, setting off a cloud of dust as he did so.  Ignoring it, he jammed his phone back into his pocket then settled himself down with his hands behind his head and staring off into the distance with a look of consternation on his face.

There was a tap at the window pane above the door and I gasped in shock.  I looked across at Tom who was looking at me.

“Well don’t all rush at once,” said Josh, jumping to his feet once more and striding to the door.  He pulled it open and a blast of icy air hit me in the face.  But no vampire.  I was so getting tired of this cloak and dagger bullshit.

“You called,” Emanuel said, standing at the kitchen door.  I spun my head around so fast I felt faint and Monty dived across the room, skidding into me, then turning to glare at the intruder like he hadn’t been ready to piss himself with fright.

Josh slammed the door shut and turned to Emanuel.  “Kudos on the dramatic entrance,” he said, walking back to the sofa and taking his seat as though it were an everyday occurrence that we were visited by an ancient vampire with the power to destroy cities.  I guessed for him, it might well have been.  Personally, I wanted to join Monty and make a little puddle of pee on the floor.  I crossed my legs.

“We need your help,” Tom said, the words ash in his mouth.

Emanuel smiled.  Oh boy but he was sexy when he smiled.

“They’re coming for Jen,” Tom told him.

“Then we need to get you to a safer place,” Emanuel said, turning his black eyes on me.  I think I did pee a little.

“She goes nowhere without me,” Tom said, standing up and facing off to the vampire.

“Or me,” piped in Josh and I looked at him, surprised.

“You want to come?” I asked.

“Oh, didn’t I tell you, I need to get out of town for a little bit too?  Turns out that barmaid was married to one of the bouncers.  And for Christ’s sake, who puts cameras in the lavs?”

***

“Well fuck me sideways,” said Josh spinning around slowly to take in the sheer opulence of the hallway.

“It’s just a rental,” Emanuel said, taking off his gloves and throwing them on to the side table as though he had just come home from a hard day at the office.  I wondered why a vampire would even be bothering to wear gloves in the first place.  Let’s face it; it wasn’t going to keep him any warmer.

I kept my mouth shut, but I was impressed.  Emanuel had brought us to what felt like a castle; it was certainly big enough.  You could have put my entire house in this hall and still have room for a conservatory.  Pale walls decorated with beautiful Renaissance art, lit by sparkling diamond chandeliers.  A ten foot tall statute of David stood pride of place at the foot of a beautiful winding staircase that Fred Astaire himself could have danced down.

Josh walked up to the statue and stood in front of it, looking up at it with his arms folded, deep in thought.  I wouldn’t have put him down as being a great art lover and the next words out of his mouth confirmed it.

“I am willing to bet a year’s salary that the bloke who posed for this wishes he hadn’t.  Imagine, generations of women knowing you only had a small willy.  Tragic.”

“Can you get serious?” snapped Tom.  I looked at him, surprised.  Josh had been a pain in the arse all night so far but this was the first time Tom had reacted so angrily.

Emanuel walked up the stairs.  “You must all be tired and hungry.  Allow me to show you to your rooms and I’ll send a servant up with some food.”  He turned and looked at Tom.  “Of the human variety, of course.”  He turned back, but I caught the grin on his face.  Great, another bloody joker, I thought as we all followed behind him.

Emanuel stopped outside a set of double doors and turned to Tom.

“You should find everything you need in here,” he said, indicating the door.  Tom took my hand and pulled me to him.

“I have another suite for Jennifer.  You don’t need to share,” said Emanuel, frowning unhappily.

“We do,” said Tom, brooking no argument.  He’d get none from me.  I wasn’t particularly looking forward to spending the night in a vampire castle.  Ok, maybe not a castle, but at the very least a big mansion.

“As you wish,” Emanuel replied, pursing his lips.

Tom pushed down the handle and guided me into the room and I gasped.  The bedroom made the hall seem like a poor man’s pantry.  Raised on a dais was the largest four-poster bed I had ever seen.  Red silk drapes, tied with golden ropes, hung from the carved, oak frame and pooled on the floor.  Mesmerised, I walked towards it.  I was drawn to it like a moth to a flame and I threw myself face first on to its shining surface and almost groaned aloud as I sunk into its soft folds.

Hearing the door close, I turned to see Tom, looking for a lock, I presumed.

“I don’t imagine a bolt would make a difference Tom.  They’re vampires, aren’t they?  Don’t they puff into smoke and come under the doors?”

Tom chuckled.  “You watch too many movies.”

Ignoring him, I turned to inspect the rest of the room.  A large ornate chair was angled just next to two large, sash windows, dressed in flowing golden curtains.  The only other furniture in the room was an antique dresser positioned against one wall.  For the first time, I noticed the door at the far end of the room and jumping off the bed, I made my way to it.  I gasped in delight as I opened the door to reveal a bathroom, decorated in shades of blue with a sunken tub and overhead shower.  I looked at it longingly.  I was in desperate need of a soak and some fresh clothes but my hunger was driving me insane and I wanted to wait for the food to arrive.  I turned and walked back into the room.

Tom took a pillow from the bed and threw it down on the floor for Monty.

“I hope he knows I like my steak medium to rare,” said Monty, spreading himself out on the pillow and closing his eyes in rapture.

“I’ll take the chair,” Tom said.  “You can have the bed.”

I imagined that was his way of saying he was no longer interested and I chose not to answer, preferring instead to go back into the bathroom and run the bath.  I couldn’t trust myself to speak.

I sprinkled in a liberal helping of bath salts and inhaled as the heady aroma unfolded around me.  I took my mobile out of my pocket and placed it on the sink unit, then stripped myself naked and climbed in as the water filled up around me.  The heat felt marvellous and I allowed myself to relax, letting it soothe my weary body.

I lay there until I felt the water level getting dangerously close to the top of the bath then lifted out one foot and using my toes, I shut off the tap, burning my toe on the hot metal in the process.  I dropped my foot back into the water and thought about everything that had happened.  Vampires.  Talking dogs.  As if talking to dead people hadn’t been weird enough.  I guess I was just a magnet for the strange and unusual.  Each time my brain brought images of Tom to mind, I shut it down.  I didn’t even want to think about him right now.

I heard the food arrive my stomach growled loudly.  I decided then and there that this was going to be a quick bath.  Jumping upright, I pulled the shower head down and proceeded to wash my hair, getting soap in my eye in the process.  And that was when my phone decided to ring.

I jumped out of the bath, doing a blind zombie dance, trying to find a towel, then after wiping my eyes I jumped on my phone, squinting at the caller ID.

It was my brother, Joe.

“Hey!” I said, as I climbed back into the warm water.

“Hey yourself!  Where the hell are you?”

Damn it, I suddenly realised I hadn’t phoned home since I’d moved in with Tom, two nights ago.  I should have checked in.  I should have let my family know what was happening to me but how do you start a conversation with your family about vampires and talking dogs without them calling in the men in white coats?

“I’m staying with Tom for a few days, what’s up?”

“Your house has been burgled, Jen.  The alarm triggered and security was sent round.  They didn’t find anyone but your place is a real mess.  More than usual,” he added for good measure.

A lump formed in my throat.  My house wasn’t a mansion.  It wasn’t filled with expensive art and nude male statues, but it was mine and I was proud of it.

“How bad is it?” I asked.

“Nothing that can’t be fixed, Jen.  At least you weren’t hurt.”

The lump doubled in size.

“Listen, you need to get back here, there’s something weird going on,” he said at last.

“It’s a little difficult at the moment,” I replied, not wanting to explain.  He’d definitely have me carted off to hospital if I told him what was really happening.

“No, Jen.  You’re not hearing me.  You need to get back here, now.”

And it starts, I thought.  My brothers just couldn’t get used to the fact that I was a grown woman. I didn’t need the constant bossing around nor have them take control of my life.  My quivering lip suddenly stopped quivering and fire hit my belly.

“Joe, there’s things I can’t explain to you right now but I can’t come home.  I may not be home for a while, but you have to learn to trust me.”

I waited for his response and heard a deep sigh.  Finally, he spoke.

“Are you in trouble?”

“Not the kind you can help me with.  I need to do this on my own.”

I closed the phone before he could say anything else and before the hot tears now coursing down my face could be heard in my voice.  He’d tear the planet apart to find me if I thought I was crying.

I sat there, looking at the phone for I don’t know how long and almost dropped it in the bath when it rang in my hands.  For a second, I though Joe had called in the big guns and my mother was now going to give me a piece of her mind.  It seemed I was safe, for now; it was Becky.

“Jen?  Are you ok?” she asked as soon as I answered.

“I’m fine, honestly.  There have been some developments,” I said.

“I’ll say! I’ve had Joe on the phone.  He’s worried out of his mind.  He thinks I know where you are and has threatened all kinds of punishments if I don’t tell him.”

I lay my head back on the porcelain and shut my eyes.  “He won’t do anything to you, Becky, don’t worry.  He’s just scared because he isn’t in control of the situation.”

I filled Becky in on what had happened since we’d left her.  Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t tell her where I was as I didn’t have the first clue.  Maybe that was something I needed to rectify. because as it stood, my fate was in the hands of people other than myself, despite my unwillingness to involve my brothers.

“Jen, are you sure you can trust this… this vampire?”

I thought for a second before answering.

“Yes, strangely enough, I do,” I replied.

I listened to the silence and wondered if I’d lost reception.  I was just about to check when Becky’s voice sounded in my ear.

“Be careful, Jen.  This isn’t a situation either one of us has any experience in.  Just please be careful.”

I smiled softly, comforted by her concern.  “I will be.  Don’t worry.”

After another few seconds of silence, Becky responded in her usual, upbeat tone. “Well, at least it’s gotten Mabel out of the way.  She hasn’t been back in the shop since you went off sick.”

A knock sounded at the door.  “Food’s ready,” Tom shouted.

“Look Becky, I’ve got to go, but don’t worry.  As soon as we get the formula made up, I’ll be home and we can forget all about this.”  I crossed my fingers and prayed I was right.

“Just come home in one piece, and preferably without fangs.”

I ended the call and smiled for all of a second.  Then I burst into floods of tears again, despairing at the futility of my situation.  I had no real evidence that even if we made the formula public, the vampires wouldn’t decide to kill my anyway.  I loved my family, and I loved Becky and I so wanted to see them all again.

I sat there in the warm water, food forgotten and sobbing silently, wondering how the hell my life had managed to get turned upside down in the space of a week.  Fleeing for my life from vampires (I still, despite all the evidence to the contrary, found it really difficult to get my head around that one), my home decimated, and to top it all off, the cherry on the cake was developing feelings for someone who probably didn’t deserve or want them.

There was another gentle tapping at the door.  Wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, I shouted out a response before submerging myself under the water to rinse the soap from my hair.  I could let this get the better of me or I could pull on my big-girl panties and get on with it.  First order of business was to get out of the bath and have something to eat.  Maybe if I wasn’t half starved, I’d feel better.

I jumped out of the water and wrapped myself in the biggest bath towel I’d ever seen, then tied a smaller towel around my head.  I looked at myself in the mirror.  My eyes were a little puffy but otherwise, I didn’t think you could tell I’d had a meltdown.  Satisfied, I made my way out.

Tom was standing at the window, his arms crossed and a serious frown on his face.

“Is everything ok?” he asked.  He must have heard the phone ringing.

“Just peachy.  They’ve broken into my house and destroyed it, my brother thinks I’m a fruit loop who is incapable of taking care of herself, my best friend is worried she might end up in jail for obstruction of justice and I’ve got a boatload of vampires who want to see me dead.  I’ve never been better,” I responded as I sat down on the bed and lifted the cover on a plate of steaming chicken stew and dumplings.  My stomach growled audibly.

“Jen, we need to talk,” he said, still not moving from the window although his arms had dropped to his sides.  Great, just what I needed right now.  The ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ speech.

“You know what, Tom?  Right now I need to eat.  Then I need to figure out how the fuck I’m going to get through this with my sanity intact.”

“It’s no good talking to her, when she’s in this mood,” Monty said, still spread-eagled on his pillow but with a suspicious looking blob of gravy in his whiskers.  I glared at him and he sunk his head into the pillow with a whine.

Tom walked cross to the door. “Fine.  I’m going to find Josh.  I’ll see you later.”

I sat there, looking at the door, then down at my plate. I was no longer hungry but knew I had to put something in my stomach, not having eaten for over twenty-four hours. Pushing my worries to one side, I managed to choke down a few spoonfuls before quitting and putting my half-eaten meal back on to the tray before throwing myself on to the sumptuous bed.

I lay there, thinking about Tom and how his attitude had changed towards me since Becky had done whatever she’d done.  Then we’d made love.  I felt my face flush as I remembered the things he’d done to me.  Now I could see what Becky was banging on about all the time and smiled to myself sadly.  And now where did I stand with him?  He wasn’t being overly attentive that was for sure.  In fact, he’d gone out of his way to be distant.

I heard mumbling coming through the wall and realised that Josh must be in the adjoining room and now chatting with Tom.  Quick as a flash, I jumped off the bed and ran to the bathroom to collect a glass that was sitting on the sink.  I ran back and pressed the glass to the wall, then held my ear to it.  I could just make out faint sounds, and then I heard Josh, clear as a bell.

“You can’t leave her here on her own, mate, what if they decide to….”

“Didn’t your mother ever tell you it’s bad manners to eavesdrop,” a deep voice said behind me.  I dropped the glass in fright and it shattered.

“Don’t move,” the voice said, and I turned to see Emanuel lay down an armful of clothes on the bed and walk toward me.  He picked me up and carried me to the bed, setting me down gently, then went to pick up the pieces.

“We can’t have you cutting yourself.  The scent of your blood might be more than I could stand,” he said, standing in front of me with a big grin on his face.  Like that was funny?

“You don’t scare me,” I said, full of bravado.

“Then why are you shaking?” he asked.

“The towel’s wet.  I’m cold,” I answered.

His eyes darkened, quite a trick given they were black.  “Then take it off,” he said, suggestively.  Monty ducked his head and hid his eyes with his paws.

“Will you knock that off?” I said, annoyed now.  The tingle was starting in the pit of my stomach and I knew he was turning on whatever tricks he had to make me go to him.  He was subtle, but not subtle enough.

He laughed.  “Believe me, Jennifer Owens, that wasn’t me, this time.”   I blushed and was about to jump down from the bed when he stopped me.

“No, there may still be glass.  Wait and I’ll send someone to clean it up for you.  In the meantime, I’ve brought you some clothes.  I think I have your sizes right,” he said, smiling as he turned back towards the door.  “I’ll see you tonight, at dinner,” he said, still grinning as he walked out.  Bastard men!

I climbed over towards the clothes, intrigued to see what he’d brought me and whether they would actually fit.  The first item I picked up was a beautiful jade green dress, in silk.  The size was a 10.  Perfect.  A thick woollen day dress was next, with a large cowl neck.  I laid it down and continued to explore.  Two more day dresses, no trousers, a boatload of silk negligees that I could definitely wear if I ever chose to visit Sodom and Gomorrah.  At the bottom of the pile was a paper bag, and I opened it, intrigued.  Inside were three sets of the scantiest underwear I’d ever seen in my life.  Sheer, see-through, satin G-strings.  I looked at the bra and wondered where this man had been looking; it was at least two sizes too big for me.

A knock at the door heralded the arrival of the maid and I called her in, waiting patiently until she’d thoroughly cleaned the floor.  I watched as she unplugged the vacuum cleaner.  She didn’t look at all like a vampire and I wondered whether they had people working for them that knew what they were.

“Is there anything else you need, miss?” she asked.

“Could you take the food away, please?  I think we’re finished.”

I watched as she carted the vacuum cleaner outside, then came back for the tray.  The second she left the room I changed into the negligee and climbed into bed.  I lay there, thinking about what I’d heard Josh say to Tom.

You can’t leave her here alone.

He obviously intended to, and I felt my heart break into a million pieces.  There was no getting away from it.  I was totally and completely in love with him and when I got my life back, I was going to burn Becky’s spell book.

14 – Dinner with Drac

Tom

“Forty missing persons?” I asked, incredulous as I sat opposite Matthew in his office.

“That we know of, and that doesn’t include the seven dead bodies lying in the morgue,” Matthew replied, his blue eyes focussed entirely on my face.

“He’s building an army,” I said, incredulous.

“Why would he need one?” Matthew asked as he stood, pacing the floor.

“He must know Emanuel’s after him.  He’s preparing for war.”

Joe walked into the office with his head down and studying a piece of paper he held in both hands.

“You wanted to see me, boss?” he asked and then looked up.  He looked at Matthew, then at me, a question in his eyes.

“I’d say come in, but that would be superfluous,” Matthew said grimly, taking a seat behind his desk.

“What’s going on?” Joe asked, dropping his hands and focussing on us now.

“We’ve got some news about your unidentified male victim,” Matthew said, folding his hands in front of him.

“He’s not unidentified any more, boss.  I’ve got his rap sheet here.”  He waived the piece of paper he was holding before turning on me with a savage look in his eye.

“Where’s Jen?” he asked.

“She’s safe, don’t worry,” I replied, hoping to God I was right.  She’d be safe at least until she’d made up the formula.  After that, it was anyone’s guess, and if the Frog were preparing for war, I needed to get back there quick and get her away to safety.  Why the hell had I listened to Josh in the first place?  Going to Emanuel’s had not been my brightest idea, but I’d let him convince me it was my jealousy talking.

“Take a seat, Joe,” Matthew commanded.  “We need to talk.”

Joe took the only remaining chair in the office and waited, the tapping of his foot the only sign giving away his impatience.

“I take it you know Tom?” Matthew continued.  Joe nodded.

“I need you to tell him exactly what you’ve found out so far on the Dinnington case.”

Joe looked at me, only slightly shocked.  He’d known about my connection to Matthew since I’d given his name as my referee.  I guess he was surprised at the level of trust Matthew had in me.  I hoped I deserved it.

“I’d ask which one but I’m pretty sure we all know they’re related.” Joe looked at me for confirmation.

I nodded, and he sat back in his chair.  I could see a million questions floating around in his head, but we’d get to those.

“Well, the man who attacked my sister and who you, shall we say, dealt with, has been identified as one Charlie Peacock. His list of priors reads like War and Peace but without the peace.  Mostly GBH and burglary.”

“So it looks like he was just a thief?” I asked, not buying it.  He was at Jen’s for a reason.

“Well, you might be inclined to think that, but then there’s the question of body number two, found in the park a day later,” he said.

“Yes, I met your DC Parker babysitting the scene,” I told him.

Joe’s mouth twitched in annoyance.  “Well, it turns out that body number two belongs to a man by the name of David Jenkins, who is a known associate of our Charlie Peacock.  I’ve just had the coroner’s report back.  Death occurred around about the same time as you were dealing with Charlie.  Do you happen to know anything about that one?” he asked, looking at me with suspicion in his eyes.

I digested the new information, pondering on the possibilities.  I’d suspected the dead body in the park had been vampire-related but in a million years, I wouldn’t have thought that the two were associates.  Why would the vampires kill someone they’d sent to do a job?  Or had the death occurred just after I’d already dealt with his partner and this was the price of failure?  I realised Joe was still waiting for me to answer.

“As it happens, I have a theory, but I don’t know how open you are to hearing it,” I replied.  After what Jen had told me about Joe, I suspected my tale of vampires might have him calling in the men in white coats to cart me off, hence the meeting with Matthew.  Matthew had a wealth of experience with the supernatural, but that was another story.

“I’m listening,” Joe replied, making himself comfortable, which was good, because this was going to take some time.

***

Jen

I woke up from a delicious dream to see Josh sitting cross-legged on the dresser, stroking a sleepy Monty who was lying across his legs.

“What the hell are you doing in my room?” I asked, sitting up in surprise.

“Lovely nightdress, baby doll, but Tom would chop my bits off, so if you don’t mind?”  He waved his index finger at me and I looked down, realising the nightdress was sheer, and pulled the sheet up to cover myself.

I glared at him.

“Once again, and for the record, what the fuck are you doing in my room?” I snapped.

“Ah, feisty.  No wonder Tom likes you so much!  I’m babysitting.  I gave Tom my word no harm would befall you on my watch, princess.”

“So Tom left?” I asked, knowing the answer but needing to hear it from the horse’s ass.

Josh shoved Monty unceremoniously on to the floor and he landed with a thump.

“Hey!” he snapped, as Josh jumped down and stretched.

“He’ll be back, just a couple of things he needed to do.  Are you coming for dinner?”

Well that was good to know.  At least he hadn’t abandoned me to my fate.

“What time is it?” I asked, confused.  This sleeping during the day lark was really taking it out of me and my body clock was all over the place.

“It’s almost seven.  Emanuel has requested the pleasure of our company at eight prompt.”

“I really don’t want to watch you two sucking down on some poor fool’s neck. I think I’ll pass if it’s all the same.”

“Oh my darling girl, don’t you know it is not socially acceptable to refuse the invitation of your host?   Now, chop chop, shower and change, unless of course you intend wearing that?  Not that I object, but I can’t vouch for your safety if you do!”   He sauntered to the door as I gaped after him.

“I’ll come back in an hour.  Be ready,” he said, smiling before he disappeared round the door and closed it behind him.

“He’s a fine one to talk about manners!” Monty grumbled as he curled up on his pillow.

“Are you alright?  Do you need to go walkies?” I asked.

He rolled his eyes at me.  “I’m twenty-four years old, why do you insist on talking to me like I was a puppy?”

“What would you prefer I say?” I asked him, almost laughing.  So baby talk was reserved to those that carried chew sticks in their pockets?

“Oh, I don’t know, why not call it like it is - ‘do you need to go for a shit?’ or ‘do you need to take a leak?’”

“Well do you?”

“No.  Josh already took me.  Good job as well because I was just about to piss on your bed.”

“Do it, and I am buying you a pink collar!” I snapped as I threw back the covers and headed for the bathroom.  “With frills!” I added.

Forty minutes later and I was ready.  The jade green dress brought out the green in my eyes and I did a little twirl in front of the full length mirror.  My hair, hanging in natural ringlets around my shoulders, looked healthier than it ever had, ironically.  I gazed at my flat stomach in amazement.  It was probably down to all the skipped meals but I was grateful for it.  I looked down at my feet.  Shame I hadn’t brought any shoes, but no way was I wearing the trainers I’d come in.  I’d go barefoot, no problem.

Not wanting to wait, I walked over to the adjoining wall and thumped on it, three times.  I listened intently but heard nothing and was about to thump again when the door to my room swung open and Josh came in wearing a black suede dinner jacket, black trousers and  a black silk shirt, open at the neck.  He did a twirl, his eyes gleaming.

“You like?” he asked, as he looked down to inspect himself.  “Actually, the trousers are a tad tight in the crotch department so forgive me if I’m scratching.”  He did a little dance and grabbed his man bits to demonstrate.

“Are you ever serious?” I asked, crossing my arms.

“Sweetheart, I’m already dead, what’s to get serious about?  Well, except for the fact that I can no longer get drunk, that’s pretty serious.  Actually, it’s pretty depressing.  You’re making me depressed and I’m never good company when I’m depressed.”

He grabbed me by the hand and twirled me around so that the dress flared up and I laughed.

“That did it, that worked.  It would have worked better if you hadn’t been wearing panties but I gave my word to Tom it would be hands off!”

I pulled my hand out of his and smoothed down the dress, blushing slightly.  Josh took an elaborate bow and waved his hand towards the door.

“After you, my lady,” he stated and I made my way across the room.  I stopped at the door and looked back at Monty who was making with the big, sad eyes.

“Well, come on then!  I’m not waiting for you all day!”

He leapt up as fast as his podgy little body would allow and raced across the room.

We’d just made our way down the sweeping staircase when Mabel walked out into the hall.

“Ah, there you are!” she said, gesturing with her hand.  “Come, come!  We’re waiting for you.”

I looked at Josh and he arched an eyebrow.  We reached the last step, and I turned to Mabel.

“Mabel, this is Josh, Josh meet Mabel,” I said by way of introduction.  Mabel looked down her nose at him, which was no mean feat given that she was a good ten inches shorter than him.

“Pleasure, I’m sure,” she replied.

“Well it might have been but you’re about eighty years too old for me,” Josh said, sauntering past her.  I grabbed hold of his hand and pulled down sharply in a silent message to behave himself.  This was not going to be a fun evening if I had to babysit two runaway mouths.  I eyed Monty suspiciously, but he appeared to be distracted, sniffing the staircase.

Mabel dragged me and, by association, Josh straight through into a magnificent dining room fitted with the largest chandelier I had ever seen in my life.  I looked around at the sumptuous leather chairs and antique table and gasped.  It was a truly beautiful room.

And sitting on a truly beautiful chair at the head of the beautiful table was the truly beautiful Emanuel.  He looked with disdain at Monty who just sauntered into the room and cocked his leg against a giant potted fern.

“Monty,” I shouted in warning and he just grinned at me and dropped his leg.

“So pleased you could join us for dinner.”  Emanuel stood as we entered.

“Well, as long as I’m not the main course,” I replied. Emanuel threw his head back and laughed.  I wasn’t joking.   I sat in the chair that Emanuel pulled out for me.  Josh sat to my right and Mabel directly opposite.  Emanuel was sitting to my left, entirely too close for comfort.

“Forgive me,” Emanuel said, turning to me.  “I see that you’re barefoot.  My mistake.  I will ensure you have appropriate footwear tomorrow.”

I curled my feet beneath me in embarrassment.

“I was right about the dress,” he smiled and I looked at him, frowning.

“It matches perfectly the colour of your eyes,” he said by way of explanation.  I found myself blushing, and that immediately made me want to punch him in the face.  Probably not a wise move with an all-powerful ancient.

“Nice place you have here, Emanuel.  Really nice,” said Josh, trying to diffuse the situation.  He turned his head to look at the paintings on the wall.  Behind me was a beautiful painting of a nude man sitting on a chair.

“Ah, Benouville!”  Josh exclaimed.  “Good taste, but I have to wonder if someone in this house has a complex about the size of their willy!”

“Josh!”  I wished the ground would swallow me up.  He was a nightmare.

Emanuel sat back in his chair and smiled.  “I can assure you, I have no such issue,” he replied.

“What about you, Mabel?” Josh asked, smiling as Mabel glowered at him.

“Will you cut it out?” I demanded, as I felt the familiar tingle start up in my stomach.

“So did you sleep well?” asked Mabel, trying her damnedest now to change the subject.  I grasped on to the life raft with both hands.

“Oh yes, very comfortable, thank you,” I replied.

The maid chose that moment to arrive with our first course and presented me with a bowl of creamy tomato soup.  I wondered if this was perhaps Emanuel’s idea of a joke and looked at him suspiciously.

I waited as the maid finished her task and noticed the consistency of the soup given to Emanuel and Josh was slightly different although the colour was mostly the same.  I put my spoon back down, suddenly not hungry.

I turned to Mabel.  “Are you staying here too?” I asked.

She looked at me, startled for a moment.  “Oh no, dear.  I couldn’t leave my erm… my boyfriend alone at night, he likes to keep me close, if you know what I mean.”

I thought back to all of the sex aids Mabel had bought over the months and grinned. I hope I was as active as that in my dotage.

“So you’re not married then, Mabel?” Josh asked as he picked up his spoon and started eating.

Mabel blushed, and I thought about Spencer. I’d need to contact him soon.  He’d think I had abandoned him.

“I was married, a long time ago.  It didn’t work out.  Now, I prefer to keep my options open.”

“Sensible girl!” he grinned.  “Personally, I don’t buy into the theory propagated by the church that there should be one man, one woman and a wedding ring.  I’m all for free love, myself.”

Now it was my turn to change the subject, and I turned to Emanuel.   “How’s the lab coming along?” I asked.

“It should be ready for you to start work within the next day or so.”

I looked at him a little shocked and delighted.  “Wow, that’s great.  I thought it would take a lot longer to pull together.”

Mabel put down her soup spoon.  “How do you intend to develop the formula?” she asked, her beady eyes boring holes into me.

“Your son will provide instructions. I will relay them to another scientist friend of Tom’s.”

Emanuel frowned and pulled his chair forward.

“Who is this friend?” he asked.

“That would be me,” Josh said as he lifted a spoon of… let’s call it soup… to his lips.

I looked at him in amazement.  “You’re the scientist?” I asked.

Josh winked at me.  “And you thought I was just a pretty face and a big package, eh?”

I so wanted to throw his soup in his face.  “I have no opinion one way or another about your package,” I fumed.

I turned and looked at Mabel who had gone white and it suddenly occurred to me that I hadn’t told her about Jonathan.

“So you found him?” she asked.

“Yes, Mabel, I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you this sooner, and in a better way.”  I could have kicked myself.  Maybe I was becoming de-sensitised.  I had to remember that Mabel was human.  Death to her was traumatic.

She dropped her spoon in her soup.  “Is he happy?” she asked.

“He seemed fine, enjoying himself,” I said, remembering the first words out of his mouth when Becky had made him materialise.

Mabel smiled slightly and picked up her spoon, continuing to eat.  A niggling feeling crept up my spine.

“Mabel, would you like to have a session with your son?  I can arrange it for you,” I said.

Mabel turned slightly pink.

“I wouldn’t want to get in the way of your work,” she replied, averting her gaze.

“I could try to contact him after dinner, then it wouldn’t be interrupting anything.”

“Well, yes, I suppose that would be nice,” she replied, not looking in the least bit comfortable.  Warning bells were now ringing, and I looked across at Josh who was watching me with one eyebrow raised.

He turned to Mabel.  “So your son was a scientist?  You must have been really proud of him,” he said, lifting a glass of suspicious looking red liquid to his lips and drinking.

“Yes, he was a very clever man,” she said.

“Did he have a family?” he asked, setting the glass down on the table.

The maid came back to take away our bowls, and I sat back, content to observe the byplay as a plate of steak and potatoes was placed in front of me.

“He had one son, my grandson Michael.”

“And what does he do?” Josh asked as he took his plate and put it on the floor for Monty.

“He’s at university at the moment, studying for his law degree,” Mabel replied.

I looked across at Emanuel and noticed he was paying particular attention to Mabel’s words and regarding her with an unreadable expression on his face.  I turned in time to see Mabel catch Emanuel’s eye, then burst into tears.  Josh rushed around the side of the table, pulling her in for a hug.

“Hey, hush now,” he crooned as he rocked her.

Mabel stood and looked at Emanuel.

“Forgive me, I think I need a moment to compose myself.”  She turned on her heels and walked out of the room as we all watched.

“I forget, sometimes, how hard death can be on humans,” Emanuel said, although his demeanour didn’t convince me he was entirely worried about Mabel’s state of mind.

We ate the rest of the meal in relative silence and at the end I was glad to be returning to my room.  When we reached the door, I dragged Josh in behind me.

“Hey, pretty lady, I’ve told you.  It’s hands off or Tom will nail my ass to the wall,” he said.

I shook my head in exasperation.  “It’s not your body I’m after, stupid, it’s your brains, if you actually have any.  Are you sure you’re a scientist?”

“My degree has an ology in it, so sure,” he said.  “What’s on your mind?”

“Aren’t you even the slightest bit suspicious at the way Mabel was behaving?” I asked.

“Jen, the woman was just told her son was dead, how did you expect her to react?” he asked, looking at me as though I was stupid.

I looked at him, amazed, then surprised at myself for thinking for one second this Neanderthal would have picked up on the little signs I’d noticed between Mabel and Emanuel.

“Didn’t her grief seem a little staged to you?” I asked.

Josh took me by the shoulders and turned me towards the bed.

“Look, sweetheart, it’s quite normal to feel a little paranoid in your situation, seeing danger where it doesn’t exist.  Why don’t you get some rest?  It’s night time after all and you need your beauty sleep.  The black bag thing you’ve got going on doesn’t suit you.”

With that, he turned and left the room.

Monty watched after him.  “That man is a fruit loop short of a breakfast.”

I sat down heavily on the bed, completely in agreement.  Where the bloody hell was Tom when I needed him?  The only other person who could help me now was Spence.  I decided to call him and ask for his advice.

Seconds after the thought was in my head, Spence appeared before me and he looked terrible.  His face was blotchy with worry.

“What the bloody hell have you been up to?  I’ve been waiting for you at the house!”

He was really angry, and I looked at him, confused.

“As it happens, I’ve been running for my life from a vampire army, why?” I asked.

“Your house has been broken in to,” he said.

I let out the breath I was holding in.  “I already know, Spence.  I spoke to my brother,” I said.

“Oh?  And did he tell you it was Mabel who did it?” he demanded, getting right in my face.

“I knew there was something fishy about that old bat!” said Monty, his ears pricking up.

I gasped.  “Mabel?  Are you sure?” I asked.

“Absolutely, I was there, I saw it happen.  I had to get Mr. Angry to chase her off, but she was after something and I don’t know what it was,” he said, sitting down on the bed beside me and taking in his surroundings for the first time.  His lip curled in distaste.

“Where in God’s name are you?” he asked, looking about the room.

“This is Emanuel’s home,” I replied.

Spence’s eyes almost bugged out of his head.  “Are you mad?  He’s a vampire, and he’s in cahoots with Mabel!”

I jumped up from the bed and paced the room.  I needed to think about this.  Things just weren’t adding up.

“What would I have that Mabel could want?” I asked, completely bewildered.

“I don’t know, Jen, but you need to get the hell out of here.  I told you not to trust her!”

I thought back to the look Emanuel had given Mabel at the dinner table.  Were they scheming?  But for what purpose?  I had promised to deliver what they were asking for.  It didn’t make sense.

“Was there anyone with her?” I asked.

“No, she was alone.  Now stop asking stupid questions and move it,” Spence replied.

I looked at Monty as he rushed across to me, ready to make good our escape.

“I need to find Josh; I can’t leave him here on his own.”

“Who the hell is Josh?” Spence asked.

I looked at him, knowing he would completely freak out if I told him he was a vampire.  “He’s a friend of Tom’s.  Look, it’s a long story.  I’m going to find him and get out of here, I’ll call you when I’m safe.”

“Where’s Tom?” he asked, perplexed.

I sighed in exasperation.  At this rate, I’d be here all night and then be stuck.  I couldn’t leave Josh here alone.

“I have no idea,” I said.

“He left you here alone with vampires?  Is the man insane?”

“Spence, we can stand here and debate the stupidity of all of our decisions, or I can make tracks.  What’s it to be?”

Spence bit his tongue and looked at me.  “I’m coming with you.”

I looked at him.  It made sense.  It wasn’t as if they could kill him twice.

“OK, well you can start by sticking your head through that door and let me know if anyone’s there.”

Spence did as he was asked, returning seconds later.

“It’s all clear,” he whispered.

“Spence, you don’t need to whisper, they can’t hear you,” I whispered back as I reached for Monty and pulled him into my arms.

“Come on big guy, let’s find Josh.”

15 – Keep On Running

I pulled open the bedroom door an inch and looked out into the hall, listening carefully for any signs that we weren’t alone.  It seemed safe enough, so I pulled the door open wider and made my way along the hall to Josh’s room.

“I’ve got your back,” Monty whispered out of the side of his mouth.

I knocked on the door three times and stood, trying to look like I was just visiting my neighbour.  No response.  I looked at Spence and gave him the nod.  He stuck his head through the door, then pulled back.

“There doesn’t appear to be anyone there but there is a coffin in there!” he said, obviously scandalised.

I turned the handle and entered.  It looked much the same as the room I had next door; sparsely but expensively furnished.  The only real difference was in the sleeping arrangements.  In place of a bed was a very large coffin, as Spence had said.

I closed the door behind me, and made my way across the room, then tried to prize the lid open.  No luck.  I looked at Spence.  “Can you stick your head in and see if it’s occupied?” I asked.

“What?  Are you kidding me?  What if I wake him up?”

“Spence, I don’t think vampires can see ghosts.  Can you just do it?”

Spence huffed and did as he was asked, coming back up and glaring at me.

“It’s empty.”

“Thank you,” I replied, before turning to see if this room, like the one next door, had an adjoining bathroom.  No other doors other than the one we came in.

“There’s nothing for it, we need to go and check the rooms downstairs.  He’s got to be here somewhere.”

Monty looked at me.  “Look, he’s a vampire, they’re vampires, let’s just get the hell out of here and worry about him later.”

“He’s a vampire?” Spence asked, shocked.  Great, just what I needed.

“Look Spence, he’s a good guy, and he’s on our side.  We are not leaving him behind.”

What the hell was he up to?  This was middle of the morning, vampire time.  Would he be feeding again?  How often did they eat?

“Come on,” I said and made for the door again, going through the same process of having Spence check it out before we left the room.

We made our way back down the ornate staircase, then tiptoed across the hall to the dining room we’d eaten in earlier.   I nodded at Spence, then at the door as Monty struggled in my arms.  I dropped him to the floor.

Spence disappeared into the room and I stood there, nervously looking about.  All it would take is for one person to come out of any of the rooms and I was caught red-handed.  Spence came back through the closed door and beckoned me.

“There’s no one in the room but there’s an adjoining room.  Mabel’s in there with a man,” he reported.

“What does he look like?”

“Dark hair, tall.  I only saw him from behind.”

That could be either Emanuel or Josh.  Damn the man!

“I’m going in,” I said, and before either of them could start up an argument, I turned the handle and slipped into the room, making my way quickly to the door leading to the adjoining room and turning the handle, before my nerve deserted me.  Monty rushed in behind me and I put a finger to my lips to tell him to stay quiet.

The room was obviously a lounge, judging by the sofas, and was as beautifully furnished as all the other rooms.  The room was empty but there were a further two doors on the left.  Spence appeared beside me and I smiled at him gratefully.  He pointed to the second door on the left and then went in ahead of me.  I froze, wondering what the hell I was going to say if I got caught.  I was just about to move to the door when Spence came bursting back through it.

“Hide!” he shouted at me.

I dived for the second door and was just pulling it closed when I heard the voices.    Too late, I realised Monty was still in the other room and I sent up a silent prayer that he’d not be spotted.  I held the door open an inch and put my eye to the crack.  I watched as Mabel came into view, then turn to whom ever she was with.

“I’m leaving right now,” she said, her voice shaking.

“You’re going nowhere.”

I recognised Emanuel’s voice and held my breath.

“You can’t do this without me, Emanuel.  He is my son.”

“Was your son, Mabel - past tense.”

Something flew across the room and dived on Mabel and I realised it was Emanuel, going straight for her throat.  I gasped just as a hand came crashing over my mouth and I was pulled away from the door.

“Don’t look,” Josh whispered in my ear. I felt tears welling up in my eyes and fought to control my breathing, letting my body relax against Josh before I collapsed in a heap on the floor.  From the adjoining room I could hear thrashing and tearing of flesh and was grateful Josh had had the forethought to drag me away.  We stayed like that for what felt like an eternity but was probably only minutes.  Eventually, the noises stopped, and we listened until we heard footsteps walking away from us and towards the door leading to the hall.

Josh dropped his hand from my mouth and turned me to look at him.

“What the hell are you doing, sneaking about the house?” he whispered.

“I could say the same thing about you!” I whispered back.

“Can we do this later?” Spence said, popping his head around the door.  “I think it might be as good a time as any to make good our escape, don’t you think?”

I pulled myself out of Josh’s hold and turned to him.

“Where’s Monty?”

“How would I know?” asked Josh.  I ignored him.

“He’s hiding behind the sofa but I couldn’t get him to come out.  He can’t hear me,” Spence said.

I advanced on the door as Josh put a hand up to stop me.

“Where are you going?” he asked, his eyes like saucers.

“Monty’s in there, I need to get him.”

“You’re going to risk your life for a dog?”

“I risked my life for you, you moron, so yes!”  I glared at him and pulled my arm out of his hand, turning towards the door but he stopped me again, shaking his head.

“Wait here, I’ll get him,” he said, disappearing into the room.  I looked around for another exit or window, anything we could use to get out of the house.  Heavy drapes hung across the back wall and I rushed to them and pulled them back a touch to peek out.  The window looked out on to an expanse of lawn and from the look of it we were at the back of the house.

Josh came rushing back in and thrust Monty into my arms as though he were a canister of nuclear waste.  He fumbled with the window catch until he managed to open it.

“You go first!” he demanded, taking Monty from me and thrusting me towards the now open window.  I climbed up on to the sill and looked down.  It was a good eight foot drop to the ground, and I felt a familiar dizziness in my head.  I hated heights.  I didn’t get a chance to contemplate before Josh gave me a firm shove and I went sailing down, landing on my face in the dirt.  Before I could pick myself up, Josh was beside me and dragging me to my feet.

“Come on!” he snapped, trying to drag me across the lawn.

Spence had floated down and was scoping out the surrounding area.  We were in the open with no bushes or trees to hide us from the view of any one of the windows at the back and I felt completely vulnerable.

We started to run towards the west side when Spence came hurtling towards us.

“Other way!” he demanded.  I turned and dragged Josh back.

“Where the hell are you going?” he demanded, trying to pull me in our original direction of travel.

“Just trust me Josh, ok?” I said.  He looked at me for a second before nodding and we dashed across to the east side, Monty still in his arms.  I could have kicked myself for not putting on my trainers as I felt the wet grass beneath my feet.

We came up to what could only be a garage and hid behind it, giving ourselves time to catch our breath.  As we stood there, I saw why Spence had wanted us to change direction.  Two vampires came around the west side of the building.

I froze when they stopped beneath the wide open window of the room we had vacated and looked up at it.  One of them leapt with inhuman speed through the window and the other followed.

“We’ve got to run, now!” said Josh, realising that they would soon find we were missing.

Josh dropped Monty to the ground, and we pelted down the side of the house.  This time, bushes sheltered us and we ran as fast as we could out to the front, across the driveway and straight across to the trees on the other side of the road, every step agonising on my naked feet.

We dodged in and out of the trees, stumbling over rocks, and I tried my best not to cry out as a stabbing pain tore through me.  I lifted my foot to inspect the damage. Blood oozed out from a jagged cut.  Josh turned and looked at me and fear held me frozen in place.  His eyes had turned blood red.

“Can you walk?” he asked.

I backed up a step.

“Bloody hell, woman, it’s a reaction to your blood that’s all!  Having a hard-on doesn’t make me a rapist any more than having red eyes will make me eat you.”  He offered me his hand, and I took it.  He pulled me up and swung me over his shoulder.  I looked down at the ground feeling sick to my stomach as he took off at full pelt.

We pushed through the last of the trees and then we were out into the field.  Josh suddenly stopped and dropped me to the ground, pushing me behind him.  I looked about trying to see what he was seeing but there didn’t appear to be anything there.  In seconds, we were surrounded by six vampires, all grinning from ear to ear and displaying their fangs.

A dark haired vamp wearing leather trousers and a black shirt stepped forward and looked at Josh.

“Are you going somewhere?” he asked, stepping towards us.

Josh pushed me back.  “Keep your eyes on the ground,” he said, and I suddenly remembered the danger of looking at them, and did as I was told.

“Oh shit,” Spence said, and I looked at him, surprised.

“I knew you’d come out eventually!” the vampire said, then dived at Josh.

Another two vampires joined him.  All four of them landed on the ground, narrowly missing taking me with them and I froze.  Josh grabbed one of the vampires by the neck and twisted and I heard a loud crack as the other two lifted Josh bodily into the air and released him.  He landed on his feet and then dived at them again.

I turned and looked at the remaining three vampires who were now heading for me and I swear I could hear my heart beating in my chest.  I looked about for a weapon but there was none.  Monty took off and launched himself at one of the vampires and I screamed just as a hand reached out and grabbed me from behind, pulling me up against a body and snapping my head to the left to reveal my throat.  I smelled the stench of foul breath and closed my eyes, cringing and waiting for the pain of the first strike.  It never came but suddenly I was falling backwards and I landed with a thump on the ground. I opened my eyes in surprise and looked around to see even more vampires, only these were fighting the remaining two that had surrounded me.  I looked behind to see Emanuel with his teeth buried in the throat of a vampire and I sat there, not wanting to turn away but wishing I could.  I heard a bark and that broke me free of my stupor as I scrambled to my feet and looked about for Monty.

“Run!” Spencer screamed at me.

“I can’t!  Where’s Monty?” I shouted back.

Monty came bounding towards me and I took to my heels, leaving the vampires to tear each other to pieces and running for my life.  I heard feet pounding behind me but didn’t waste time looking back to see who it was.  I ran until my lungs felt as though they would burst and kept running until I hit something solid and went flying down to the ground.  I twisted on to my back just as a vampire landed on top of me, his face inches from mine as he grabbed my hands and held them above my head.  Monty launched himself at the vampire, attaching himself to its arm, but it had no effect as the vampire simply ignored him.

The beast raised its head and exposed its fangs.  Once again, I felt death hanging over me.  And once again, I was granted a reprieve as the vampire suddenly became a dead weight on top of me before promptly disintegrating into ash.  I closed my eyes and mouth and turned my head as the remains fell softly to the earth.  Hands grabbed me roughly by the shoulders and pulled me up on to my feet and into an embrace.  A warm body.  I sagged in relief as I realised it was Tom and I clung to him, letting the tears course down my face.

“Shh, you’re safe now, baby,” he crooned, stroking my head.  “… but we have to get you back to the house.”

I struggled in his arms.  “No, we can’t go back there!  Emanuel has killed Mabel!”

“It’s safe, there, Jen, take my word for it,” said a voice from behind me and I turned to see my brother Joe, blood on the side of his head and a stake in his hands, standing beside Josh.  My knees gave out and Tom caught me in his arms, lifting me as though I was weightless.  Monty bounded up at Joe who bent to stroke him.

“Am I glad to see you!” said Monty and Joe looked at him, startled, and then looked at me.

“It’s a long story.” I watched as he shook his head in disbelief.

“Well, you can tell it later, we need to get out of here,” Josh said, turning to Tom.  “Do you want me to carry her?”

Tom’s arms tightened around me.  “No.  She stays with me.”

Josh nodded and turned to make his way back across the field.

A flash of light travelled towards us and I gasped.  I couldn’t be this lucky three times in a row.  What the fuck was going on now.

The streak of light came to a stop in front of us and came into focus.  Emanuel, covered in blood, looked straight at me.  I averted my eyes and buried my face in Tom’s chest.

“Is she ok?” he said.

“No thanks to you, yes, she’s fine,” Tom replied, pulling me tightly into his chest and taking off back across the field.

The walk back to the house seemed to take forever but for me it wasn’t long enough.  The feeling of being in Tom’s arms was incredible enough, but now and then he would bend and kiss the top of my head.  Each time he did it, I pressed myself as close as possible to him, wanting to savour the feel of him and the memory of this small show of affection.

As we reached the house I saw vampires everywhere.  They turned and watched us as we approached and a shiver of fear ran through me.  Tom pulled me tighter to him and in no time at all he was walking me through the doors into the hall where the harshness of the light burned my eyes.  I buried my face in his chest as he carried me through and lay me down gently on a sofa.

“Where does it hurt?” he asked, looking into my eyes with concern on his face.

“I… I don’t feel any pain,” I said as Tom cast his eyes over my body.  He turned and lifted my feet and suddenly, they burned.  I hadn’t realised how badly I’d damaged them until right at that moment.  Tom inspected one foot then put it down, turning to Emanuel and Joe as they came into the room behind us.

“We need bandages and antiseptic,” he said.  “Do you have those?”

Emanuel looked at him as though he had a screw loose.  “Are you kidding me?  I’m a vampire!  Why would I need bandages?”

“I’ll check the kitchen,” Joe said and walked back out of the room.

Emanuel walked passed Tom and looked at me.

“Why did you run?” he asked, pained.

“You chomping down on Mabel kind of did it for me,” I answered, pulling back into the couch in an effort to maintain a distance.

His eyes darkened.  “Mabel betrayed us all.  The punishment fit the crime, Jennifer.”

“And you are the judge, jury and executioner?” I spat back.  “She was an old woman.  You brutalised her.”

He lowered his head and turned to the side.  He was no more able to look at me than I was at him, right now.  Now I understood why Tom called them monsters.

“You all right, girl?” Josh said as he walked in the door, breaking the deadlock.

“Never been better, you?”  He looked no worse than if he’d been on a brisk walk.  No blood, nothing.

“I chipped a fucking nail, can you believe it?”  He looked at his hand in disgust.

“Look, can you all just give us a moment?” Tom demanded, standing up and glaring at them.

Emanuel and Josh walked out just as Joe came back with a bowl of warm water and a box of bandages.  He handed them to Tom, then looked at him with a question in his eyes.  Tom nodded his head, and I looked from one to the other, amazed when Joe silently turned on his heel and left the room.

“You too, Monty,” Tom said, and I heard the clipping of his claws against the wooden flooring.

“Banished?  Me?  I’m a dog,” he huffed as he left the room.

“And you, Spence,” I said, weakly and almost laughed when Tom’s face went a little paler.

Spence doffed his cap at me and disappeared.  And then we were alone.

Tom turned and looked at me.  “Why did you run away?” he asked softly as he knelt by my feet and picked up the bowl.

“Didn’t you hear me?  He killed Mabel,” I said.  Tears welled up in my eyes and I dashed them away.

He stopped and looked up at me, a sad expression on his face.

“Mabel wasn’t who you thought she was, Jen,” he said softly.

“I know,” I sniffed.

He looked at me, shocked.  “You know?  How?”

“Spence saw her trying to break in to my house.”

He sat back on his heels and looked at me.  “She was working with a vampire,” he said.  “Do you know who was with her?”

I looked at him, puzzled.  “Spence said she was alone.”

“She might have been alone in the house but up to the front door, she was talking to someone.  It was picked up on camera but obviously we couldn’t see the vampire.”

“So you don’t know who that was?”

“No.  But we think it was Freddie the Frog.”

“What makes you say that?” I asked, shocked.

Tom pulled his fingers through his hair.  “Because she was living with him.”

I gasped as I suddenly remembered all the times she’d been to the shop.  ‘Oh my Frederick will love these!’ she’d say.  Why the hell hadn’t I put it together earlier?

“Bloody hell!  So she was working for the Frog all along?”

“It looks that way, yes,” Tom said as he applied antiseptic to my foot.  It felt as though he had dipped my foot in molten lava and I hissed in pain.  Tom stopped his ministrations and looked at me.

“Ready to continue?”

I nodded and prepared myself for another round of pain.

I bit down on my lip to stop myself from crying.  “How do you know it wasn’t Emanuel with her at the house?” I asked.  I no longer trusted the vampire and wasn’t entirely convinced he was on our side, despite him coming to our rescue.  He wanted the cure, and that was all he appeared to be interested in.

“The break-in happened when Emanuel was with us, Jen, taking us all back to his house.  Unless he’s found a way to be in two places at the same time, it wasn’t him.”

I lay there silently while Tom wrapped bandages around my feet, thoughts whirling around in my head.  Mabel had been a spy, working for Freddie.  Tom had been right not to trust her all along.

“How did you convince Joe to help you?” I asked.  My brother had spent his entire life denying that the supernatural existed.  He thought I had mental problems and had told me so every time the subject came up.  Not that that was often.  There are only so many times you can face ridicule before you learn to keep your mouth shut.

“Let’s just say the weight of evidence did the job for me,” he said grimly.

“What evidence?”

Tom smiled.  “Well, being attacked by something twice as strong as you with big, big teeth for one.”

I gasped.  “Are you kidding me?  My brother was attacked?”

Tom finished fastening the bandage with a pin, then looked at me.

“Joe came out to help, Jen.  When we realised that Mabel had a foot in both camps, I realised you were in danger.  I kind of freaked out and Joe didn’t even question my judgement at that point.  He just came with me and we dealt with it.”

I lay back on the sofa, thinking about what he’d said.  I was a little hurt that after years of ridiculing me over my visitors, he’d taken the word of a virtual stranger about something that was, to my mind at least, far more far-fetched than a few piddling little dead people who wanted to pass on messages about where they’d lost their bloody wedding rings.

Tom knelt beside me, his expression telling me there was something else going on but he was finding it difficult to say what.

“Tom, whatever it is, just tell me.  I don’t have the energy to play fifty questions,” I said at last, trying to control the quiver in my lip.

“Joe wouldn’t have just dropped everything and run, Jen, if he didn’t think you were in danger.”

I turned to look at him.  “I still don’t understand how you convinced him, Tom.  Why would he believe you, a stranger, and not me?”  I couldn’t prevent a silent tear from escaping and running down my face.   Tom captured it with his fingers as he gently caressed my cheek.  Then he dropped his hand.

“I might have freaked out a little too much when he told me about Mabel. He realised I was in love with you,” he said at last.

I waited, confused.

He looked at me.  “Becky’s spell?”

“But didn’t Becky undo the spell already?” I asked.

“When?”  He looked confused now.

“When you were both in the kitchen, the day she turned Monty into a Chihuahua?”

His eyebrows shot up.  “Well, no.  Not to my knowledge!”

“Oh.  Oh!”

That meant I had slept with him when he still believed he was in love with me.  Oh my God, that meant he still thought he was in love with me!

“So you…?”

“Yes,” he replied.

Suddenly, another penny dropped.  “You told Joe?”

Tom’s face turned red.  “Yes.”

My heart dropped into my stomach.

“Oh Jesus H. Christ, he is going to be so pissed at Becky and God knows what he’s thinking about me right now.  Does he think I put her up to it?” I asked, dropping my head into the pillow and looking at the ceiling, my face burning with embarrassment.

“I didn’t tell him about the spell,” Tom replied and I turned to look at him.

“I don’t care how this came about, Jen.  I am in love with you.  I am in love with being in love with you.  I’ve felt more alive since I met you than ever before in my life.  I don’t want Becky to reverse the spell.”

My heart swelled in my chest and it took every ounce of reserve not to dive into his arms, but I didn’t want him to want me because of a spell.  I wanted him to want me because of me.

“Tom, it wouldn’t be right,” I said at last, another tear spilling down my cheek.

He looked at me, sadly.  “I’m not giving up on you, Jen.  I don’t care what you say.  I know there’s something more between us than the result of some stupid spell.”

“I won’t change my mind, Tom.”

“We’ll see about that,” he replied, resolute.

I opened my mouth to respond but was interrupted by a loud bang on the door.  Emanuel came storming into the room.

“I’m sorry to disturb you but we don’t have much time.  It’s almost dawn.  I need to show you the laboratory before I retire.”

“It’s finished?” I asked, amazed.  “I thought you said it would be another day?”

Emanuel looked at me.  “We speeded things along.  With the Frog building an army, I thought it was better we do this as quickly as possible.”

“He’s building an army?  An army of what?” I demanded.

Tom looked at Emanuel, then at me, obviously annoyed that Emanuel had let that bit of information slip.

“Vampires, Jen.  He’s been turning more people into vampires.  We think he’s going to attack to stop you creating the formula.”

Emanuel looked at my bandaged feet.  “Would you like me to carry you?”

Tom jumped to his feet.  “I’ll carry her,” he said, gruffly.

“No, I’ll walk,” I said, pissed at them both.  I wasn’t a lump of meat to be fought over.

Emanuel watched as I stood, trying not to grimace as pain shot up my leg.  “As you wish,” he said, turning on his heel and leading the way out of the room.

We walked out through the hall and into the kitchen where Josh was sitting on a bench and Joe was sitting on a wooden chair, drinking beer from a bottle as though this was a social occasion.

“You ok, sis?” he asked.

I smiled at him, still pissed at his ability to believe a stranger over me.  “I’m fine.”

“Sure you are, sweetheart,” said Josh, grinning as he jumped down from the bench.  “Tough as old boots you are, girl.”

Monty, lying on the floor at Josh’s feet, glared at me, obviously still unhappy at being kicked out.  He’d get used to it.

Joe looked quickly at Tom then grimaced.  Something was going on with those two and when this was all over, I intended to get to the bottom of it.

Emanuel led the way through the kitchen to a door opening on to what appeared to be a wash room.  At the back of that room was another door and when it was opened, it revealed stairs leading down into a basement.  I picked my way carefully down the stairs, holding on to a painted handrail.  I gritted my teeth against the pain that was now making me feel sick as I tried to hold myself upright and not topple arse over tits down the stairs.

When I reached the second to last stair, Emanuel took my arm and helped me down and I heard what sounded like a growl behind me.  It was a toss-up as to whether it was Monty or Tom.  I ignored it.

The basement was barely lit, and I squinted trying to make out my surroundings.

“My apologies,” said Emanuel as he flicked a switch and an overhead fluorescent light flickered to life a little too brightly.  I closed my eyes for a second against the glare.  When I opened them, Tom, Josh and Joe had made it down the stairs and were looking about the room with interest.

The surfaces were gleaming stainless steel and what looked to be a refrigeration unit stood against one wall.  Next to it stood two smaller units about the size of microwave ovens and I had no idea what they were.

Emanuel caught my gaze and pointed to the first one.  “That’s the centrifuge, and the other is the UV light box,” he explained.  “Unfortunately that is the limit of my knowledge on these things.  Everything you asked for is here and ready for you to begin work.”

Tom walked across to me.  “Are you sure you want to go ahead with this?”

I looked at his concerned face.  “We’ll get started at sundown tomorrow.”  I turned to Josh.  “Are you still going to assist?” I asked.

“Wouldn’t miss it girl, but it’s about bed time now, so if it’s alright with you I need my beauty sleep.”   He yawned, stretching his arms high in the air for effect.

“The rooms are all made up ready for you.  Joe, there’s plenty of room, if you wish to stay?”

Joe looked at me then turned to Emanuel.  “I am going nowhere without my sister,” he said.

“As I thought.  Then, if you’ll follow me, I will show you to your room.”

***

It wasn’t until we’d had made our way back up the stairs that I remembered that Tom and I were sharing.  Not wanting to embarrass him, I didn’t insist on separate rooms but I was mortified at what my brother must be thinking as I made my way in.  I turned as Tom closed the door behind Monty.

“I’ll take the chair.  You sleep on the bed,” I said as I picked up one of the flimsy nightdresses that Emanuel had bought me and turned to go to the bathroom before the look on his face broke my heart.

“Bloody great,” said Monty.  “I guess that means I’m on the sodding floor, as usual.  They aren’t kidding when they say it’s a dog’s life.”

I came back out of the bathroom wearing the nightdress and wrapped in a towel, not wanting to display myself in front of Tom.  I needn’t have worried. Tom was already settled in bed, naked judging by his chest.  Fortunately the rest of him was covered with the sheets.  His hands behind his head, he grinned at me.  I dropped the towel and glared at him but smiled to myself when his jaw dropped.

I turned to the chair, seeing he had already left me a pillow and a quilt.  I turned off the light and tried to settle into a comfortable position.

“You know we could share the bed, but only if you promise to keep your hands to yourself,” he said.

“Good night,” I replied pointedly.  I didn’t trust myself to behave.  There was no way I was getting into that bed with him.  I heard the rustle of covers and tensed until I realised he was just settling himself down to sleep.   My body screamed at me to forget my stupid morals and get into bed with him.  I stifled a groan as every nerve in my body joined in the chorus.

“Hands out of the blankets,” said Monty, and Tom chuckled.

16 – A Good Year For The Roses

I woke up the next morning and stretched.  Despite being wounded in both the shoulder and the foot now, I felt surprisingly good.  I remembered back to the previous evening and sat up sharply.  I was in the bed.  How did that happen?  I looked across at the chair to find it empty.  I was alone.  I picked up my mobile phone from the bedside table and groaned.  Three missed calls from Dad and two from Becky.  In my mad dash from the house the previous evening, I hadn’t taken my phone with me.  They must be worried sick by now.

I jumped out of bed and walked in to the bathroom, stepping over the still snoring Monty and speed dialling my father as I went.  He picked up on the first ring.

“Jen?  Is that you?”

“Yes, Dad, it’s me.  Is everything ok?”

“Well I thought so until my daughter’s house was ransacked and she couldn’t be found for love nor money!” he snapped.  I cringed.  Dad didn’t get angry with me often but when he did, you really didn’t want to be in the same country.

“I’m fine, Dad. Joe’s here with me.”

“I know.  My son, called me to tell me last night to tell me,” he ranted.

I let out a sigh as I faced myself in the bathroom mirror.  I guess I deserved this.

“Do you know your mother was worried sick?”

“Dad, I’m sorry, it’s just been a little crazy lately.”

“Jen, this isn’t like you at all.  Are you sure that Tom is a good influence on you?”

“This has nothing to do with Tom, Dad.”

“Well, I wouldn’t know.  My daughter doesn’t tell me anything lately!” he snapped.

“Oh?  And you do?” I snapped back, thinking of Mum and the tickets to Hawaii.

“And just what do you mean by that?” he demanded.

I ran a hand through my hair.  I couldn’t betray Mum’s confidence.  I bit my tongue.

“Nothing.  Look, I’m fine.  I’m sorry for worrying everyone.  Tell Mum I’ll be home soon and I’ll call her later, ok?”

“Jen, you need to tell me what’s going on,” he barked.  I bit my tongue again.

“Dad, I’ll tell you all about it soon, I promise.” I turned on the tap and moved my head closer to the sink “Signal’s going, Dad - speak soon, love you.”  I ended the call and sat on the end of the bath, sighing and looking at the phone in my hand.  Another drama I’d have to face at some point.  But not today.

I dialled Becky next but got put straight through to her voice mail.  I looked at the time on the display.  It was lunch time and my stomach growled.  All this living vampire hours was wearing me out.

Showering without getting my bandages wet was an aerobic exercise and when I was finished, the bathroom floor was awash.  I dressed in the purple woollen dress Emanuel had brought for me and made my way downstairs to the kitchen in search of food.

Tom was sitting at the table reading a newspaper and he looked up as I entered the room.

“Where’s Joe?” I asked.

He smiled at me.  “He’ll be here soon.  He just popped out to do something.”

I made my way over to the coffee machine and looked at it, waiting for it to give me instructions.  Tom came up behind me and slipped a cup into the machine, his arm going around me and his mouth an inch from my ear.  I held my breath as he reached around me with his other arm and pressed the switch.

“You just need to know what buttons to press,” he almost whispered.

I leaned into his chest and elbowed him in the ribs, winding him.

“Lovers’ tiff?” Joe asked, standing in the doorway.

I spun round to see him standing there, smiling at me with Becky at his side, and I squealed in delight.

“Becky!”

She ran over and hugged me, pushing Tom out of the way.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, pushing her away from me and smiling.

“When I couldn’t get you on the phone, I called Joe who kindly offered to come and get me.”

“She threatened to do something wicked to my manhood unless I came and got her so she could see for herself you were ok,” Joe said as he walked in and threw his car keys on the table.

“Don’t be so melodramatic.  It would have cleared up in a day or two,” she waved her hand at him.  “You ok down there, Tom?” she asked.  Tom straightened up and grunted.

“Shouldn’t you be at work?” I asked.

She reddened.  “Nobby closed the shop for a week to do some remodelling.”

I raised an eyebrow.  “What did you do?”

“Why do you always assume the worst?” she gasped in exasperation as she took my now full coffee cup from the coffee machine and took a sip, grimaced, then handed it to me.  I caught Joe’s eye as he arched an eyebrow at me.

“Got any tea?”   Becky asked as she turned and started fishing about in the cupboards just as the maid returned with a duster and a bottle of polish in her hands.

“Miss, I’ll make the tea for you,” she offered, hurrying to a cupboard.

I took one look at Joe.  I didn’t want him listening to Becky explain another one of her mishaps.  Despite him now believing in vampires, I didn’t want to risk over-exposing him to the supernatural and have him freak out on me, here.

I dragged Becky by the arm.  “Could you bring it through to the living room?” I asked the maid as I pulled Becky through the door.

“So come on, spit it out, what happened to the shop?” I demanded.

She threw herself down on to one of the sofas and grinned.  “He kept me back for over-time last night.  Shelf stocking, he said.  Big mistake.”

“Did he try anything?” I asked, sitting beside her.

“Yes, last I saw he was trying to outrun robo cop,” she laughed.

I laughed at the thought, then sobered quickly.

“I guess that means we’re job hunting again,” I sighed as I lay back against the cushions.

“So that’s what you do?” Tom asked, coming into the room with Joe.  “You work in a sex shop?”  He grinned.

“I think the term is ‘used to’.” I turned to glare at Becky who was still grinning inanely and staring into the distance.

“I wonder how long the batteries last?” she said to herself, then looked at me.

“Becky, you know it’s really not funny.”

Becky snorted.  “Don’t worry about him, he’s a fast little runner.  He’ll be ok.”

She turned to me.  “So what’s happening about your little predicament?”

I’d just finished catching her up when the maid came in with the tea and put it down on the table in front of us.

“So when does it all kick off?” Becky asked as she reached for a cup.

I looked at Tom.  “The sooner we get this done the better,” I said as a shiver ran down my spine.

***

Josh pulled himself up to sit on the steel bench and looked at me expectantly.  He was wearing a white doctor’s coat and looked like a kid playing dress up.

“We’re on the clock, doll,” he said, folding his arms and smiling.

I ran my hands across the cold surface and wondered for the hundredth time what I would do if this didn’t work.  It didn’t bear thinking about.  I looked at Josh and a niggle of doubt wormed its way into my head.  Still, Tom trusted him so I guess that had to be good enough for me.  I turned and caught Becky’s eye and she smiled reassuringly at me.

I called Spence and Jonathan and almost instantly they appeared before me.

“We’ve been waiting,” Spence said, glaring at me as though I was late for class.

“We had to wait for Josh to wake up,” I replied, almost apologetically.  I turned to Jonathan.

“Hi,” he said, smiling sadly.

“Before we start, there’s something you need to know,” I said to him.  How the hell did you tell someone their mother had been murdered?

He put his head down.  “If you’re talking about my mother, I already know.”

I looked from him to Spence in surprise.  How could he know?  Unless Mabel had passed over?  Or was he talking about the double-dealing?

“You know what?”

Jonathan sighed and looked away.  “I’ve been following her since you called me.  I know everything.”

Spence shook his head at me in a silent message.  Now wasn’t the time.

“Well, ok then.  So where do we start?” I asked.

Jonathan looked at Josh.  “We need his blood.”

I looked at Josh.  “Roll up your sleeve.”

“Hey, I said I would assist, I didn’t offer to be the lab rat,” he said, backing up on the bench and turning even paler than he was before.

Becky marched across the room and rolled up his sleeve.  “Don’t be such a big baby, it’s only a little prick.”

Josh opened his mouth to speak and Becky jumped right in.  “Yes, I know you have a witty rejoinder on the tip of your tongue but before you let loose, remember I have a hypodermic needle in my hand and there’s two ways that this can go.”

Josh closed his mouth obediently and let her finish tying a tourniquet to the top of his arm.

We worked into the night, mixing bloods and extracting compounds.  Jonathan shouted out instructions and I diligently passed them on to Josh.  My faith in him was quickly being restored as he worked efficiently, injecting serums into little glass bottles and moving them between the UV machine and the centrifuge.

As Josh put the last sample into the UV machine, I turned to Jonathan and noticed for the first time his spirit was fading.

“Are you ok?” I asked.

“I’m bloody starving, excuse the pun,” Josh replied, thinking I was talking to him.

“It takes a lot out of me, materialising.” He smiled sadly.

“So what happens now?” I asked.  “Are we done?”

“You need to leave the samples in UV for another hour.  That should force the production of p53 and that will initiate the repair process.  Then we’ll be ready to conduct testing.”

He flickered a little as he spoke.

“Jonathan, thank you,” I said simply.

“Remember the serum has to be injected, not ingested,” he said as he faded away completely.

I turned quickly to Spence.  “See you back at home soon, I hope.”

Spence smiled.  “Yes, I do believe Annie McDonald is still waiting for her next appointment and we still have Mr. Angry to deal with.”  I wondered briefly if it might be better just to give myself over to the vampires.  Spence faded away with a wicked grin on his face.

“Is he gone?” Becky asked as I turned, taking off my lab coat.

I told them both what Jonathan had told me and Josh looked at me, relieved.

“Well, then it’s my dinner time, if you’ll excuse me ladies!”

He all but ran up the stairs and Becky and I followed at a more sedate pace.  We were all tired now but there would be no sleep.  In an hour, I had to come back down and take the sample out of the UV machine.

When we reached the kitchen, Monty looked at me accusingly.

“I need to go outside,” he demanded, turning his back on me and marching to the door.

“I’ll take him,” Becky said, seeing the look of defeat on my face.

“No, it’s ok, I’ll do it.  Can you make us something to eat?”

Josh was already head in the fridge, fishing about for a bag of O negative.

“You’re welcome to share!” he said, turning to me and wiggling the bag.

I picked out a plastic doggy poop bag and looked at him.  “Only if you eat the contents of this bag when I get back,” I smiled.

I turned on my heel and followed Monty out to the hall.  I wondered where Joe, Tom and Emanuel had gone as I pulled on my coat.

“Will you hurry up?” Monty snapped, doing a little dance beside the door.

The air was crisp and fresh as we made our way across the garden and it helped to clear my fuddled mind.  We hadn’t discussed how we would carry out the testing but I strongly suspected it would have to be on a vampire.  Despite everything, I wasn’t keen on that being either Josh or Emanuel and I pondered on that for a moment.  Who would ever think I’d consider vampires as friends?  I smiled to myself as I watched Monty sniffing about, then taking up position.

“Some privacy please?” he said.  I turned my back and scanned the rooftops for evidence of the vampires who were now on high alert.  I couldn’t see anything, but I was sure they were there.

Tom came rushing out of the house towards me.

“What are you doing out here alone?” he demanded.

“Monty needed to go out,” I replied.

“You should have called me,” he said as he reached me.

“It’s fine, Tom.  There’s more protection here than for the queen.  I’m pretty sure I can handle a potty walk.”

He sighed in frustration and shivered in the cold night air.

“You should have worn a coat,” I admonished him.

He pulled me into his arms.  “Maybe you can keep me warm.”

I looked up into his eyes and my insides melted.  It would be so easy to give in.  Then the scar in the shape of a star on his forehead reminded me and I pulled away.

When Monty had finished, I cleaned up after him and we all made our way inside where everyone had now congregated in the kitchen.  I cast an eye on the clock.  Ten minutes had passed.

Becky shoved a plate towards me with what looked to be the sloppiest made cheese sandwich on it.  My stomach growled in hunger and I grabbed it up and took a bite just as Emanuel came into the room.

“It’s done?” he asked.

“Just about,” replied Becky, helping me out as my jaws worked furiously.

“All but the testing,” I added, looking at Emanuel.  “Who are we going to test it on?” I demanded, a part of me not wanting to know.

Emanuel shifted uncomfortably.  “That’s in hand,” he said.

I put down my food and looked at him.  “Emanuel, who are we testing this on?”

“I told you she wouldn’t fall for that crap,” said Josh, sucking from a straw as he sat on the bench with his legs dangling.

Joe glared at him.  “Look sis, don’t worry about that now.”

I pushed the chair out and stood.  “For the last time, who are we testing this on?”

Tom looked at Emanuel, then at me.  “Maybe it’s better if you see for yourself,” he said.

***

Emanuel walked us through the back garden to what I had presumed was an old coal store.  As we reached the door, two vampires walked around from the side and looked at us.  Emanuel nodded at them and they retreated.  He took a large, rusty-looking key from his pocket and inserted it into an even rustier-looking lock.   Forcing the key to turn somewhat, he then pulled the door open.  I tried to look over his shoulder but the space was pitch black.  Emanuel flicked a switch and a dim light illuminated the store, showing stairs leading down.  A large spider hung suspended from a web across one end of a metal handrail and Emanuel swiped at it and shook his hand.  I felt Becky shiver beside me.

“Watch your step, these stairs are old,” Emanuel instructed as he led the way.  Tom stepped in front of me and took the stairs first.  The drop in temperature was remarkable, and I pulled my coat around me and carefully picked my way down, without using the handrail.

When we reached the bottom, we stepped in a room much larger than I had expected.

“Did you hear that?” Becky whispered.  I listened intently and heard a faint keening coming from my left.  I watched as Emanuel walked across to what appeared to be a prison.  Metal bars ran from floor to ceiling but it was impossible to see beyond the bars as the dim light from the stairs didn’t quite reach that far.  Emanuel stooped and picked up an old lantern, fumbling for a minute, and then managing to get it alight.  As welcome as the light was, the minute I turned and saw what was behind the bars, I wanted to blow it out.

“Mabel?”

A pair of beady red eyes swung in my direction and she bared her fangs at me as she threw herself at the bars, hissing and spitting for all she was worth.

I turned on Emanuel and struck him full across the face.

“What have you done to her?  You’ve turned her into a monster!”

Emanuel lifted his hand to his cheek and looked at me with anger in his eyes.

“She is not a monster, she is a vampire.  When first turned, all vampires suffer from tremendous blood lust.  It will pass.”

“Why?” I demanded.

“She betrayed us to get her hands on the formula, Jennifer.  It’s only fitting that she be the one to test it out,” he responded.

“She is a monster, Emanuel, look at her.  But you are far worse.  You said yourself you hate being what you are and yet you chose to inflict that fate on an old woman.  You are despicable.”

His eyes flashed red, and I was suddenly afraid.  Maybe having this argument with an ancient wasn’t such a good idea.  I felt Tom move closer to me as Emanuel continued to stare.

“If the formula works, then there will be no harm done, will there Jennifer?” Emanuel asked me.

“And if it doesn’t?”

“Would you rather test on your friend, Josh?” he asked.

I gasped and looked at Josh who just put his head down.

I’d known deep down we would have to test on a real vampire.  If I had to choose between the two of them, then I would have said Mabel.  The realisation made me sick to my stomach.

“Let’s get this done,” I said, not committing myself.

I turned and marched back up the stairs before anyone could see the tears running down my face.

***

Emanuel had his arms wrapped around Mabel, trapping her as she struggled to get free from him.  We all sat watching the clock, waiting for the hour to be up.  No one spoke and the only sound was the constant keening coming from Mabel.

“Time!” shouted Becky as she held up a stopwatch we’d been using.

“And about time, too,” grumbled Josh as he jumped down from the bench, making his way to the UV machine and pulling out the tray of vials.  He set them down gently on the bench and opened a drawer to find a hypodermic needle.  Ripping it from the wrapper, he attached the needle and inserted it into the first vial, drawing up the precious liquid.

“Someone else will have to stick it in her.  I only do dead people,” he said, handing it to Becky.

Emanuel tightened his grip on Mabel who was desperately trying to bite him.  Tom took the needle away from Becky.

“I’ll do it,” he said, then turned and quick as a flash inserted the needle into Mabel’s thigh and slammed down the plunger.

Mabel stopped keening and started snarling, her eyes rolling back in her head.  She struggled harder against her captor and almost managed to break free until Joe grabbed hold of her legs.  Emanuel and Joe sank down, still holding on tightly until they had her on the floor with Joe lying almost full stretch across her legs.  Her body started to convulse, and I watched as Emanuel and Joe held her firm.  After a moment the convulsions stopped and her head lolled forward.

“Crikey, looks a bit like being roofied,” Josh observed, then turned and looked at me.  “Not that I would know,” he qualified.

“How long do you think it takes?” Becky asked me.

“I’m not sure.  I forgot to ask.”  I clung to the bench, watching Mabel intently and waiting to see if it had worked.  I had a lot resting on this.  My life, for one thing.

The door at the top of the stairs flew open and three vampires came sailing down.  Tom threw me behind him.  Joe jumped to his feet and dragged Becky to the far end of the room just as Tom struck the first vampire in the chest with a stake.  He exploded in a shower of ash.  Emanuel grabbed another by the throat and bared his fangs as yet more vampires flooded into what now felt like a tiny space.  I pressed myself against the wall and made my way across to Becky.  Two vampires now had Tom by the arms and Joe picked up the stake that had fallen with the first vampire and launched himself into the fray.  My blood ran cold as I realised we were outnumbered.

“You can fight but it won’t do you any good,” a booming voice shouted down the stairs.

Emanuel looked up.  “Frederick,” he said, his eyes turning blood red.  Within minutes, Joe, Josh and Tom had all been restrained but Emanuel still stood, no one daring to touch him.

A chuckle sounded as footsteps made their way slowly down the steps and a seven foot tall blonde with violet eyes came into view.  Dressed head to toe in leather, he walked across the room to look down on Mabel.

Three vampires who had followed him down surrounded Emanuel as the Frog dropped to the floor and scooped up Mabel, lying her full stretch on the bench.  He gently lifted her eyelid to reveal blood red eyes.

“You turned her?” he snarled, swinging around and confronting Emanuel who didn’t flinch.  I admired his bravery whilst totally convinced we’d all be meeting our maker sometime soon.

“Take the vampires to the garden and secure them to the ground.  They can watch their final sunset together,” the Frog snarled, glaring at Emanuel.

Josh looked across at Tom who shook his head.  I agreed, they had no way of fighting off vampires in this small space and God knew how many were upstairs waiting for us.  The vampires pushed Emanuel and Josh towards the stairs.

Mabel started to groan, and the Frog spun round to look at her.

“Wait!” he demanded.

The Frog bent in front of Mabel and lifted her eyelid again.  The red was gone.  It was working.  He pulled at her lips and we watched in amazement as her fangs slowly disappeared.

“It worked,” Becky whispered.

The Frog spun around and looked at her.

“Did you do this?”

I stepped in front of her.  “It was me,” I said.

“You must be Jennifer,” he said, approaching me.  “My mother has told me you were very kind to her.”  He rolled up his sleeve as he continued to talk.

“My mother is a trusting soul.  I am not,” he said as he stopped in front of me, then turned abruptly and flew at Josh, grabbing him by the throat.

“This one, I need.  You can take the ancient,” he said as he dragged Josh forward.

“Inject him,” he demanded, turning to me.

My fingers fumbled as I worked to set up another injection.  I tore a needle from its packaging and inserted the needle into a vial.  I pulled at the plunger, sucking up the formula as I’d watched Josh do earlier.  I turned to Josh and looked into his eyes.  He winked at me and raised his sleeve.  Within seconds he collapsed against the Frog who pushed him and allowed him to fall heavily to the floor, watching dispassionately as his body convulsed.  I dropped the needle as I watched.  The convulsions seemed to last longer and his face infused with blood.  I gasped, praying to all that was holy that this was going to work.  A moment later and the convulsions stopped.  I watched as Josh’s face went from deathly pale to pink.  A healthy pink.  Not caring what happened now, I bent and gently lifted his eyelids.  Brown eyes.  I laughed and sobbed at the same time.  It had worked.

The Frog pushed me out of the way and bent to inspect Josh.  When he finished, he stood and presented his arm.

I looked into his cold, dead eyes and wished with all my heart I could just kick him once in the nuts.  I opted for retrieving a new syringe.  I took great pleasure in thrusting the needle in as savagely as I could and slamming down the plunger.  The Frog turned and smiled at me as he dropped to the floor, his eyes closing.

I stepped back as two vampires jumped forward, watching.  Something was wrong.  It wasn’t working the same way it had on Mabel or Josh.  There were no convulsions for a start.  What really gave the game away was the bright red colour now suffusing the handsome vampire’s face.  His eyes flew open and blood leaked from them as though he were crying.  His mouth opened in a grimace and a scream tore from his throat seconds before his body exploded in a shower of ash.  I looked up in fright, waiting for the vampires to attack us for killing their leader but was amazed to see vampires disintegrating into ash around us until only one remained.

The remaining vampire leapt forward and grabbed Tom, pulling him into the air.  The vampire threw his head back ready to sink his fangs into Tom’s neck.  In a flash, Joe picked up the empty syringe and filled it with liquid, plunging it into the vampire’s leg as Tom struggled to stop the fangs from sinking into him.  Becky, quick thinking as always, picked up the pencil we’d been using to record the timings and slammed it into the back of the vampire.  It mustn’t have pierced his heart but it sure must have hurt, judging by the scream that tore through him.  It was enough to give Tom the edge and allow him to break free of the vampire’s grip and he came crashing back to the ground, landing on his back.  The vampire turned to dive on him, and then the formula started to work its magic.  The convulsions started, and the vampire landed on the floor beside Tom, his body shaking.

Joe dragged Tom to safety, and we watched until the body stilled.  My heart was racing in my chest but I just couldn’t understand it.  How did the formula work for some and not for others?  What had caused Freddie the Frog to explode the way he had?

“He’s younger,” Tom gasped as he got to his feet.  “Maybe it reverts you to the age you would be if you hadn’t been turned.”

“But that doesn’t make sense,” I said.  “If Mabel is Freddie’s mother, he can’t be that old!”

At the mention of her name, Mabel opened her eyes and struggled to sit up, almost falling off the bench in the process.

“You killed him?” she asked, tears in her eyes.

“He’s dead, yes,” I said, looking at her.

She screamed and jumped off the bench, her hands outstretched as she tried to reach me.  I stood there, unable to move, as Becky swung with her fist and knocked her out cold, then shook her hand.

“I’ve been dying to do that for a long, long time,” she said as she gripped her fist in her other hand.  I looked at her in amazement.

“We have to save the others,” Tom said.  “It’s almost sun up.”

He rushed to the stairs and Joe followed behind him.

“No!” I demanded.  “They’ll kill you both!”

Becky held me back as they thundered up the stairs.  “He’s a slayer, Jen.  Leave him.”

“What about Joe?” I demanded.  “He’s my brother!”

I pulled out of her arms and ran after them, making my way quickly through the kitchen and through the wide open door to the back yard.  Piles of ash were lying about everywhere and I looked about me, confused.

When I reached the garden, Tom and Joe were trying to untie Emanuel and his men who had been fastened to the ground with metal pegs, no doubt in readiness for the sun coming up and having their arses fried.  I looked up at the sky and saw a faint pink tinge making its way from the east.  There were too many of them and we were going to be too late!

Just as that thought occurred to me, Becky ran past me and raised her arms, chanting.  Little bursts of fire sparked across the grass as one by one the restraints were destroyed.  As the vampires were freed they immediately ran for the shelter of the house.  Emanuel was the last to go.  Eventually, there was only Joe, Tom, Becky and myself remaining and we looked about us as the first rays of sunlight reached us.

I looked about at the piles of ash in confusion.

“What happened?” I asked.

“If their maker dies, they die,” said Tom, just as Monty dashed out of the house and dived on me.

“You’re alive!” he said, then barked with glee as I bent and pulled him to me for a hug.

Joe walked across to me and pulled me into his chest.

“I love you, sis,” he said as he kissed the top of my head.

I looked across at Tom who just stood there, watching us.

Becky turned to face me.  “You know, I half expected that spell not to work,” she said, amazed.

Joe turned to her.  “You’re a witch?” he asked, his jaw dropping.

17 – Just A Walk In The Park

It had been a week since the night we’d killed Freddie and, consequently, most of his followers and, surprisingly, life had quickly returned to normal.  Well, almost normal.  Normal for us, anyway.  Josh had gone out and got blindingly drunk, Emanuel had returned to America with the formula and Mabel had been arrested for the murder of her son.  Quite how that was going to work out was beyond me, given there was no body.  As for Tom, he’d come round to see me the next day, trying to convince me not to get Becky to reverse the spell.  Unfortunately for him, my mother had decided she was leaving my father and moved in with me so we didn’t get the chance to talk.

Dad had turned up drunk after another rowdy night out with his colleagues at work and Mum had declared it the last straw.  Now I had a permanent house-guest who was slowly driving me nuts.  Even Spence was visiting less and less and Monty was in a permanent huff because he wasn’t allowed to talk in her presence.  I was still sliding towards that giant pile of poo and the likelihood of a heavy landing loomed large on the horizon.

I had finally decided to take matters into my own hands.  Grabbing the leash, I shouted for Monty, then walked into the kitchen where Mum was busy tearing my cupboards apart in disgust and cleaning like the devil was chasing her.

“I’m taking Monty for a walk, Mum,” I said to her arse.

Her head popped out of the cupboard and she had a big, black streak of grease across her forehead.  Maybe she was right, maybe it was time to clean the cupboards.

“Could you bring some bleach back with you? I’m running out,” she asked.

“Mum, why don’t you just leave it for now and relax?  I bought some of your favourite bath salts for you.  They’re in the bathroom.”

She sighed as she wiped her brow, smudging the mark even further across her head.

“Yes.  Maybe.  When I’m finished here,” she replied.

I walked across the kitchen and kissed the top of her head.  I hated seeing her so sad.

“See you soon,” I said as I turned to leave.

I opened the door to find Becky, just about to knock.

“Hey!” she smiled.

“We’re going to the park.  Are you coming?” I asked.

“Well, I just wanted a quick word with your Mum…”

I grabbed her by the arm and marched her down the path.  “Now is not a good time.  She doesn’t know it but Dad is on his way over.”

“Oh.  Oh!  So do you think he might convince her to try again?” she asked, ever the romantic.

“We can only hope so!” I exhaled, watching as the cold turned my breath into mist.

We fell into step as we made our way to the park.

“You having any luck finding a job?” I asked her.

“Well, that’s what I was coming to see you about,” she replied excitedly.

“You’ve got one?” I asked, stopping as Monty decided to sniff at the corner of the street.

“You know Nobby quit at the shop, right?” she continued, her bobble hat wobbling in her excitement.

“Please tell me you’re not going back there,” I said, turning to her and pulling sharply on the lead.

“Alright already, I’m coming,” muttered Monty.

“Well, they did offer me the management post,” Becky replied with a twinkle in her eye, “… but I’ve turned it down.  I don’t know, it sort of made sex a bit like work, if you know what I mean.  Although, I will miss the staff discount.”

I snorted.  “Becky, what sex life?  You haven’t had a boyfriend in ages.”

Becky blushed.  “Well, there’s my point,” she said, stubbornly.

“So tell me, already.  Where are you going to work?”

Becky stopped as we reached the road, checking for traffic, then grabbing my arm and dragging me across the street.  When we got to the other side, she dropped and freed Monty from his lead.

“We’ll meet you there, fella,” she said, scrubbing his head.

“Is it a state secret?” I asked, bemused.

She straightened up, her eyes gleaming.  “Not at all.  I’m opening my own shop,” she jumped up and down in glee, clapping her gloved hands in front of her and the bobble on her hat bouncing.

“Wow, that’s great!  What sort of shop?”

“A shop for witches!” she said, laughing at the expression on my face.

“Becky, how many witches do you think there are, in the north east?” I asked warily.  She was the only one that I knew of.  She wasn’t going to make a big success of it if she was her own and only customer.

“You’d be surprised, Miss Owens, you really would.  But we wouldn’t just sell ingredients.  We would sell potions and lotions and all kinds of things women would love.  Imagine the lines!  ‘The Penile Dysfunction Potion for the Man Who’s Had Everyone’,” she giggled.

This was it, this was my opening.  Now all I had to do was make my mouth work and tell her to reverse the spell.  Why was I finding it so difficult?

“And now I have a proposition for you,” she hooked my arm, and we continued on to the park.

“Oh?”

“How do you fancy doing a Mystic Meg meets John Edward?”

I stopped in my tracks.  “Absolutely not.  Are you mad?”

She huffed and looked at me.  “Jen, you’d make a packet!  You’re the real deal!”

“Look, I’m happy for you, opening your own shop, if that’s what you want but count me out.  Not in a million years.”

I stormed off towards the park as she ran beside me, trying her best to keep up.

“You wouldn’t have to go all Goth or anything, not if you didn’t want to.”

I turned and stared at her in amazement.  “Well that’s really nice of you but the answer is still no.”

Her shoulders fell.  “Ok, I get it.  You’re not interested.  Fine.  Tell me that’s still the case when your mother goes back home and you’re trying to scrape by on your savings.”

I shrugged, not wanting to get into a fight.  “I’ll find something.  Don’t worry about it.”

We walked in silence for a while until we came to the wooden benches and took a seat, waiting for Monty to appear.

“So how’s everything else going?  No more blood-thirsty visitors?”

I smiled grimly.  “No.  It looks like it really is over.”

I sat there in silence, trying to pluck up the courage to speak.  It had to be done and there was no point hiding from it any longer.

“Becky, I need you to reverse the spell.”

She looked at me, shocked.  “Really?”

I dropped my head into my hands.  “Yes, really.”

“But I thought you liked..”

I stood up and turned to face her, tears threatening to fall as my throat almost closed.

“I do, ok?  But it’s not right Becky.  I want him to love me for me, not because of a spell!”

She looked at me, shocked into silence.

“So I take it you’re not talking about Monty now, are you?”

“No damn it, I’m talking about Tom!  You need to reverse it. It’s not fair on either of us.”

Becky smiled.  “You love him, don’t you?”

I sat back down heavily.  “Yes.  Yes I do.”

“You mug!”

I glared at her.  “What, you magic up Mr. Perfect and laugh when I fall for him?”

“No, stupid!  You’re a mug because I’ve told you a million times, I didn’t case any spell.”

“Becky, come off it.  The star on his head?”

Becky laughed so hard she almost fell off the seat.

“Jen, before you put me right about my slovenly ways, did any of my spells ever work the way I intended them to?”

I looked at her, confused.  “Well, no.”

“Then what the feck makes you think this is down to me?  If a cross-eyed donkey had turned up at your door, I would have possibly had something to do with it but a God’s honest, sexy as hell, blue eyed hero?  Not down to me!”

I dropped back into my seat and looked at her, cogs turning in my mind.

She was right!  There was no way she would have gotten this right, not in a million years.  Something would have been wrong if it was down to her.  How could I have been such an idiot?

“So he really does love me for me?” I asked.

She laughed again.  “Well, it’s a stretch, you being you, but I suppose it could happen.”

I jumped up from the seat.  “Can you take care of Monty?”

She grinned.  “Will you come work with me at the shop?”

“Stacking shelves, yes.  Doing readings, not on your life.”

“Deal,” she laughed, and I took off like a bat out of hell, heading for the house to pick up my car keys.

Dad’s car was parked in the driveway and I raced in, hoping I wouldn’t be interrupting World War Three.

“Mum, it’s just me!” I shouted.  “Just getting the car keys!”

I grabbed the keys from the hall table and stopped for a second at the door at the sound of moaning coming from the bathroom.  Oh shit.  I could hear the shower working.  We still hadn’t fixed it since Becky’s little magic trick.  I smiled.  Maybe it would help the road to recovery.

I dived to the car and started it up, heading straight for the garden centre.  Surely, he’d be at work now?

How could I have been so stupid as to send him away?  What if he had changed his mind and decided he didn’t want a flake who talked to dead people?  I pushed the negative thoughts out of my head and tried to focus on my driving, having to brake hard to avoid a collision with a car doing thirty on the country road.  Finally, I reached the turn off and parked the car across two bays, wrenched open the door and ran for the shop.

When I got there, he was nowhere to be seen.  I saw the girl he’d been talking to the day Becky, and I had gone to find him and rushed across.

“Is Tom working today?” I asked.

She looked at me like I was a crazy person.  “He’s in the back, checking the new stock in,” she said, indicating with her arm.  I ran through the shop, trying not to push people out of the way, and then pulled open the door to the back exit, looking desperately for him.  He wasn’t there.

I walked out, looking up and down the perfectly ordered rows of plants, getting frantic now.  When I reached the end, I still hadn’t found him and my heart sank.  I turned dejectedly back towards the shop.  And then I saw him, standing in front of me with his gloves in his hand.

“Jen?”

I burst into tears and in three quick strides he wrapped me in his arms.

“Hey!  Hey now!  What’s wrong?”

“It’s not a spell, Tom,” I snivelled.  “Becky didn’t cast a spell.”

A smile broke out across his face.  “So why does that make you cry?” he asked, taking a handkerchief from his pocket and wiping my nose.

“Because I love you and I sent you away!” I bawled, and he pulled me into his chest, laughing.

“You didn’t honestly think I had gone anywhere, did you?”  He rocked me back and forwards as I sobbed.  “I love you, Jen.  I’m not going anywhere.”

“You still do?” I asked, inhaling the earthy scent of him.

“Absolutely.”

I pulled back and looked into his eyes.  His lips descended slowly, and then he kissed me hard, pulling me tightly into his body, his hand capturing my head and holding me.  His lips were salty with my tears and my nose was cold but right at that moment, I was the happiest I had ever been.

He rested his forehead on mine and took a ragged breath.

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” he said at last.

“Can we go to yours?  Only it’s a little full at my house at the moment.”

“That’s a shame, I was looking forward to sharing a shower,” he grinned.

THE END

Read on for a sneak preview of The Last Challenge!

Dear reader….

Dear Reader,

The idea for this book came about when I read a Facebook post on text messages dogs might send and it really had me laughing my socks off.  I grew up with lots of pets but as an adult, my job keeps me away from home so much it would be cruel to have one.  I live in hope of one day having a little dog just like Monty, although maybe with a little less attitude!

I hope you enjoyed reading Jen’s story as much as I did, writing it.  I’d like to ask you to please review this book on Amazon.  Book reviews can really make or break a book and reviews really help to spread the word.  You can leave a review by visiting this link – Bite the Big One!

If you enjoyed this book, why not try The Last Challenge?  In the meantime, here’s a sample for you to try!

Best wishes,

Sharon x

1 - Something spooky this way comes

Thunder rumbled, echoing through me as the grey clouds gathered ominously in the dark skies overhead.  The wind whipped my hair into a frenzy and the ice-cold air chilled my fevered skin.  The atmosphere was filled with tension.  Something was about to happen.

Something so completely outside of my previous realm of experience.

A bolt of lightning shot across the sky followed by another roar of thunder.

A voice whispered in my ear.  “Do you accept the challenge?”

A thrill ran through me as I raised my face to the skies and surrendered myself to the storm.

Bring it on!

“We’re just the same we all get desperate sometimes” blared out from the radio alarm clock and I jumped up in fright.  Cat glared at me from the end of the bed, purring heavily and his tail swishing angrily.  Well, that explained the thunder dream.

Sunlight was streaming through the gap in my hastily pulled curtains and I covered my eyes with one hand and slammed the other down on the off switch to shut Paloma up.  I wish I’d remembered to turn the volume back down after my mad half hour dancing with my hairbrush yesterday.

Shit, I was late for work; no doubt the first of many things to go wrong.  Bad Luck was starting early today.

In nought to sixty, I propelled myself out of bed, ran down the stairs, fed Cat, showered, agonised over what to wear and managed to poke myself in the eye with my mascara.  Wiping the black smudge into a bigger black smudge as the tears streamed down my face, I then nearly trampled poor Cat as I ran out the door.  As it locked shut behind me, I remembered my keys lying mockingly on the hall table.

Overslept.  Broken eye.  Keys.

That’s three, right?  Bad things come in threes?  Ha!  Don’t you believe it.  Bad Luck doesn’t just follow me around; he’s taken up permanent residence.  I guess he liked a laugh.

I headed to the bus stop, not daring to take the car this late in the morning as I would never find a parking space.  I had to jog the last ten yards to catch it and in the process…. wait for it…. managed to snap the heel on my last season, but much loved, black Dior pumps.  Trying to pay my £2.10 fee with a twenty pound note almost got me thrown right back onto the street.

Bad things come in…?  I decided to stop counting.

Sounds surprisingly normal, doesn’t it?  Something everyone’s gone through at one time or another.  The panic?  The mad dash?  Everything turning to shit?

This day was anything but normal, only I didn’t know it yet.

Surprisingly, the early morning traffic was very light.  The bus flew triumphantly down the city streets, lulling me into a false sense of security, but it wasn’t until I actually managed to hobble the ten minutes to my office that I realised it was Good Friday and I didn’t need to be there.

If Bad Luck was a man, and I chose to think so, he was leaning against the side of the building, pissing himself laughing.  Bastard.

It could have been that I wasn’t actually meant to have been there in the first place and the universe was kicking off at my failure to conform to expectations.  Or it could just be that the start of my journey of discovery simply couldn’t be like any other day.  All I knew was that by this point, I just wanted to sit down and cry.  Or scream.  Or both.

Or at least give Bad Luck a good kick in the goodies.

Kicking myself, metaphorically only as I only had one effective shoe, I decided to find a cobbler in town and fix my current predicament.  I hobbled down to the back lane, the quickest route into town, and came out at the traffic lights leading to the main street.  As I stopped and waited patiently for the green man to tell me to cross, I considered what I would do once I managed to solve the footwear problem.  I needed to do something to fix my day.  Then the light changed and several things happened at once.

I stepped lightly off the curb only to be yanked back by a strong arm clasped tightly across my chest.  The road spun out beneath me and, given my current shoe dilemma, I would have fallen flat on my arse had I not been pulled into a wall of muscle.  A second later, a black BMW sped past just inches from my face.

“Fuck!” I shouted in surprise.

“I would be delighted!” answered a deep, warm voice right in my ear, followed by a throaty chuckle.

I pulled away from the imprisoning arms and spun around to face my rescuer, only to find myself face to face with a tiny, bespectacled old woman.

It would be difficult to say who looked more surprised.

“You should be more careful, you fuck-wit!  The lights haven’t changed yet!” she warbled as she turned to face the road.  Did she just call me a fuck-wit?

I looked at the lights in a daze, and sure enough, they were still on red.  Then I spun around, frantically searching the rest of the street.

There wasn’t another soul in sight.

The lights changed and the old dear crossed without me as I stood, rooted to the spot, still trying to understand what had just happened.  I turned around in a complete circle to make sure no one was hiding behind my back, and then watched, transfixed, as she reached the other side of the road and walked off down the street.  By the time I came out of my stupor, the lights had changed again and I was still stuck on the wrong side of the road.  Cross with myself, I transferred my broken heal to my right hand and pressed the button again to cross.

After finding the cobbler and fixing the shoe, I stood outside on Northumberland Street still slightly dazed.  What the hell had happened there?  Was I losing my marbles?  I shook my head and decided I wasn’t going to be able to solve this when I so badly needed caffeine.  I made my way to the nearest coffee shop, pulling my mobile out of my bag as I went.  Selina wouldn’t be up yet, having worked late the previous evening, but I took the chance and called her as I waited in the queue for my espresso.

Selina had been my best friend since college where we both studied bakery.  She had taken to it like a duck to water but after six months of watching my scones sink and creating choux that tasted decidedly more like a boot, I made the brave decision to switch before I actually poisoned someone.  Selina had gone on to become a pastry chef at our town’s only five star restaurant and I had gone on to study computers and now worked as a programmer for a small and going nowhere fast software house, building websites for small businesses.  Programming was great.  It made sense.  When you entered a line of code you knew exactly what was going to happen, and nine times out of ten, you were right.  My logical mind was having serious problems processing today’s strange events!

As Bad Luck would have it, my turn at the counter came just as Selina answered the phone.  I juggled two conversations, confusing everyone including myself, but eventually managed to convince the barista to come shopping and Selina to make me an espresso.  Once I’d sorted that mess out, I paid for the coffee and took a seat by the window to watch the world go by as I waited for Selina to arrive.

The town was filling up now with the usual lazy day shoppers who milled around outside stores.  A young couple with a pushchair were looking in the wedding shop window as their baby played happily with his stuffed giraffe, laughing with delight as he lifted the toy and balanced it on his feet.  I was smiling at his antics when movement to the left of the pushchair caught my eye.

A pair of black Timberland boots, crossed at the ankle, was propped up against the Georgian lamppost outside the shop.  My gaze travelled slowly north, feasting my eyes on the denim jeans taut against muscular thighs, the tight black t-shirt beneath a leather jacket, and the broad shoulders and arms folded across an impressive expanse of chest.  Jolene, my inner slut, wolf-whistled as I lifted my head to take in the dark, curly hair before settling on the deepest and definitely sexiest brown eyes I had ever seen… staring straight back at me!

I was mesmerised, and for a moment, I couldn’t drag my eyes away from him.  My face flushed and my heart rate accelerated as heat zinged straight to my nether regions.  I realised I was staring, but I was completely unable to turn my gaze away.  Sexy stranger smirked as though he could read my mind, and then a clatter behind me made me whirl around.

The child at the table behind me had decided to throw a tantrum, knocking over his mother’s well-earned and much needed coffee, said coffee now seeping into the left leg of my trouser suit.  I felt the burn and jumped up to pull the material away from my leg.  Grabbing serviettes from the holder, I dabbed ineffectually at the stain.  The child’s mother didn’t even apologise.  Pushing my hair from my face, I looked back out the window only to discover my sexy stranger was gone.  With a defeated sigh, I stared down at the dark stain.

Could my day get any worse?

Sometimes you shouldn’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to!

Selina eventually turned up and some four hours, £600, and an absolutely to die for sexy black Allegra dress later, we decided to have lunch.

Spearing asparagus with my fork, I told her about my morning’s misfortunes and the vanishing hero who had saved me at the traffic lights.

“Wow, do you think it might have been the hunk who was staring at you in the coffee shop?  Maybe he followed you,” she said excitedly.

Selina was a born romantic.  She looked like a super-model.  Miniature, blonde, with slightly more curves, amazing blue eyes framed by impossibly long lashes, and a cupid bow mouth that had men openly salivating, she was a knockout and a stark contrast to my five foot eight, mousy brown hair and green eyes.  When we went anywhere together, it was always Selina who was the man magnet.

“No such luck.  Besides, if he was interested, why disappear in the first place?”

“Hmm, you never know, stranger things have happened,” she responded.

She had that right!

She piled her fork with risotto and lifted it to her lips before suddenly freezing, her eyes fixed over my shoulder.  “Uh-oh, don’t look now, but the bitch from Hell just walked in.”

“Has she seen us?” I asked my plate.  The bitch she referred to was Lucinda, a bimbo from work who was sleeping her way up the corporate ladder.  Last count, she was working on number three.  She’d had an affair with Emerson, the Division Head, which secured her current post as Finance Manager, and was now setting her sights higher.  She’d previously been my team leader.  I was just grateful that was no longer the case.

Selina didn’t answer but shifted her gaze to the left with a tight smile on her face.  “Lucinda, how erm… nice to see you.”

“Hi you two, enjoying your Easter break?”

I felt her talons on the back of my chair and looked up into her over-made eyes and fake smile.

“Hi Lucinda,” I answered, trying to hide the leg with the coffee stain further under the table.

“I’ve been out shopping for a new outfit for the party tonight.  You’re coming, right?  We should all do our bit to celebrate John’s success.” she said, arching her eyebrow.

John was the owner of the company we both worked for and Lucinda had had her sights on him for a while now.  She talked as if they were an item but I knew he hadn’t yet taken the bait.  I knew this because one; I paid attention, and two; I’d overheard him telling someone that he was going alone tonight. I’d had a secret crush on him since he’d been part of the panel who interviewed me for my job almost a year ago and that news thrilled me.  The party tonight was to celebrate winning the UK IT Industry Award for one of our projects, and wild horses wouldn’t keep my away.

“Oh yes, we’ll be there.” I looked her straight in the eye.  She looked away first.

“You know Lauren…” she tossed her blonde tresses over her shoulder and smiled at me slyly, “… you might even meet someone who makes it to two dates.”

My temper got the best of me and I half-rose in my chair, a ready fork still in hand.  Selina stamped covertly on my foot.

“Your roots are showing Lucinda, I do hope you plan on a visit to the hairdressers before tonight,” Selina said as she glanced at me and winked.

Lucinda’s face went pink.  “Really?  I’d better go and see if they can fit me in!” she rushed out of the restaurant, like the Devil himself was chasing her, oblivious to the fact that she almost lost her teeth.  I loosened my grip on the fork.

It was common knowledge that I had the worst luck when it came to men.  My string of failed first dates would have been comical if it wasn’t so tragic.  The only man who I’d managed to get past the first date curse was Wayne Coolidge, back in college.  We’d almost made it to first base when he’d trapped his willy in his zipper.  Later, I’d found out he was gay and I was just his little experiment.  Bad Luck had a sick sense of humour.

“… and breathe!” Selina coached, reaching for my hand across the table.  “Don’t let her get to you.  You’re better than that!”  She patted my fingers as I counted to ten thousand.  In binary.

I sank back into my chair, deflated.  “Knowing my luck, she’ll probably shag John right in front of me.”  I dropped my fork back onto the plate, having lost my appetite.

“Don’t be such a baby!  You’re going to primp yourself to perfection and knock the smile off that silly cow’s face!”

I looked at her and thought about what she’d said.  My new dress was a knockout, and I’d lost a little weight recently, most of it off the boobs unfortunately, but a push up bra and some chicken fillets and I’d be good to go.  My natural optimism kicked in and I grinned at the thought of seeing Lucinda’s face when John finally acknowledged that he needed a mousy nerd in his life and not a busty blonde.

“You’re a treasure, you know that?” I said, smiling at Selina.

She smiled back.  “Come on, it’s time to accessorise!”

After another quick bout of shopping, Selina dropped me back off at home.  After opening my door for me so I could liberate my keys from the hall, she drove off shouting instructions to me to make sure I was ready on time.  As if!  I only had three hours to get ready for the party, it would be touch and go.

Two hours and fifty-nine minutes later, I was ready which just goes to show that miracles can happen.  Personally, I think that Bad Luck must be taking a nap after his early start.  The bastard had to be worn out after the day he’d given me.

The dulcet tones of “Doncha Wanna” by Anastasia blasted from the CD player as I checked myself out in the full length mirror.  I was wearing the killer dress I’d bought that day, floor length with a cowl neck that showed a hint of cleavage.  A short bolero jacket hid my puny shoulders.  My hair had been back-combed to within an inch of its life, clipped up with a diamante comb, and hung wispy around my face.  My make-up was immaculate.  Coal black eye liner and high gloss lips.  Shoe of choice today was Prada black pumps with a six inch heel.  I couldn’t walk straight but they made my legs look great.  Lucinda could flash her boobs at John all she wanted, but tonight, I would make him notice me!

I pulled the dress down a little at the front to reveal more cleavage, then turned and observed my reflection.

“Check out that ass!” I said to Cat, grinning.  He purred as if to agree with me.

Steven and Andrew were designated drivers for the evening.  I’d met them at a design conference a year ago when we’d banded together, the only Northerners there.  We’d all gotten very drunk and had almost been thrown out of the hotel.  They both worked as graphics designers for our biggest competitor, Design Worx, and they were my secret weapon.  John had been desperately trying to get them to come to the dark side and work for him, so at least that guaranteed his focus would be somewhere in my vicinity.  Lucinda would have her work cut out getting his attention tonight.

I spritzed with Vera Wang and downed the last of the second glass of wine I had allowed myself during the ordeal of getting ready.  Just in time, I heard the car horn indicating the arrival of my friends.  I grabbed my black Louis Vuitton clutch, sashayed sexily towards the door, and promptly tripped over Cat.

We arrived at The Copthorne Hotel on the Quayside fashionably late, given that Stephen made Andrew drive around the town four times before we got there.

“It’s your own fault, Lauren,” Stephen snapped.  “We just weren’t expecting you to be ready on time!”

I poked my tongue at him as he huffed and got out of the car.

I climbed out of the rear passenger seat just in time to see John being greeted at the door by Lucinda.  She looked stunning in a short, blue silk dress with matching shoes.  I felt the acid build up in my stomach.  John looked absolutely amazing in a dark suit that simultaneously showed off his broad shoulders and tapered waist and left me salivating.  That feeling disappeared when I looked at Lucinda’s hand touching his left arm as she leaned into kiss him on the cheek.

“Stop fussing!”

I turned around to see Andrew slap Stephen’s hand as he attempted to fix his tie.

“For God’s sake girls, can you behave for five minutes!” Selina said as she pulled the wedgie out of her rear.  She straightened her dress as she took a few teetering steps, then looked up at the hotel, marvelling at its grandeur, then grabbed me by the arm so we could prop each other up as we tiptoed across the cobbles in our death-defying heels.

We made it in one piece just as John made his way in.  As we reached the doorway, Lucinda zeroed in on my chest, her lips curving up in a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.  I prayed that the chicken fillets hadn’t decided to make an appearance and scowled at her.

“Well hello darlings,” she said, grabbing Stephen’s hand and air kissing him before turning to Andrew.  I wanted to push my fingers down my throat.

“Lucinda, darling, long time no see!  How are you and Emerson these days?” Andrew inquired as Stephen elbowed him in the side sharply.  He was needling her.  They both knew she’d dumped Emerson as soon as he’d left his wife and she’d got the promotion.  Lucinda turned purple.  Score one for my team!

“We’ve broken up,” she replied, tersely.  “We decided it would be best, working together and everything.”

“Ah, very sensible.  It’s never a good idea to shit where you eat,” Selina replied.  I almost swallowed my tongue.

“We’ll see you inside when you’re finished,” I said hastily, grabbing Andrew and Selina and dragging them through the door.  I wanted to laugh, but I settled for a wide smile and nipped Selina’s arm in glee.  She snorted.

Reaching the bar, Stephen pulled out his wallet and ordered two bottles of Shiraz while I scanned the room to see who had turned up.  I felt a hand touch my elbow and looked up to see John smiling down at me.  Oh, be still my heart!

“Lauren, you’re looking lovely.  I see you’ve brought some fine talents with you tonight,” he said, offering Andrew his hand.

Andrew shook it in both of his and gushed.  “John what a pleasure to see you again!  It’s so nice of you to invite us and congrats on the award!”

John’s face flushed an endearing pink.  “Comes of having a great team behind you, Andrew,” he said, smiling at me again.  I think I swooned but it may have just been the heels.

At that moment, Stephen finished paying for our drinks and turned around to see John and Andrew’s hands still clasped together.  He scowled, pulling Andrew back by the sleeve and pushing his own hand forward.  “John.  Nice to see you again.”

It took a full three seconds for John to realise that Stephen was talking to him and drop Andrew’s hand, a fact not missed by Stephen, judging by the colour now rising up his neck.

Selina came to the rescue and pushed herself forward, grabbing John by the arm and leaning in to kiss him on the cheek.  “Hi, I’m Selina, it’s nice to finally meet you.”

John kissed her briefly then turned back to Andrew, his eyes devouring him.  In that fateful moment, I saw my dreams of rampant sex with John the Love God float out the window.  He was gay, and he had the hots for Andrew.  No wonder he wanted me to bring them!

Bad Luck leaned against the bar, slapping the counter with his hand as he cried tears of laughter.

True to form, Lucinda put the cherry on the cake by rushing over and grabbing the glass of Shiraz Stephen was holding out to me.  “Thank you darling, I so need this!” she said as she took a petite sip and batted her eyelids at John.  “You’re a popular man, John.  It feels like the world and his mother have turned up tonight.  Playing hostess is so exhausting!” she tossed her blonde hair suggestively and thrust out her breasts.

At that point, I decided I’d had enough.  I grabbed the second bottle of Shiraz and two glasses.

“I’m off to mingle.  Selina, are you coming?” I waved the wine in her face.  She dutifully followed me across the room to the only remaining available table and we sat to pour the wine.

“Oh my God,” she giggled behind her hand.  “I can’t believe you’ve been lusting over him all this time and he’s gay!”

I looked at her sternly before losing myself as well, snorting some of the Shiraz up my nose.  Par for the bloody course.  Bad Luck had better be wearing some serious protection around his gonads, because if I ever actually met him, there was going to be war.

“Just how far do you think Lucinda would go?  You reckon she’d go as far as a sex change?” Selina asked as we watched Lucinda trying to attract John’s attention to her cleavage.  We both fell about laughing.

I decided to cut my losses and scanned the room to see if my team had arrived.  Jack, another developer, was busy seducing a dark haired woman at a table not far from us.  Typical Jack.  I kept scanning and noticed the graphics team were sitting demurely three tables away.  I wasn’t inclined to go over and chat with them, so I kept looking around for anyone interesting.

“Hot talent at twelve o’clock,” Selina said, nudging me as I took a sip of my wine.  Good job the dress was black, I thought, inspecting myself for spills.

I looked up to see a very tall, dark haired man with his back to me at the bar.  Hmm.  I wondered if the front view was a nice as the back.  Dark, slightly curled hair reached the top of his collar and he stood at least six inches taller than anyone else at the bar.  Jolene was purring.

Then he turned and our eyes met.

It was none other than sexy stranger from the coffee shop.  I gasped in surprise.  What were the chances?

I couldn’t drag my eyes away from him and he appeared equally shocked to see me.

“Do you know him?” Selina asked.

“Find your own bloody way home!” Stephen shouted.  I turned sharply to see him slam out of the bar.  By the time I turned back to my sexy stranger, he had once again disappeared.

“Damn it!” I cursed, scanning the room to see where he’d gone.  I couldn’t spot him but duty called anyway, and I had a situation to deal with.

“It’s your turn,” said Selina, settling herself adamantly into the chair and folding her arms.  It was getting to be a semi-regular occurrence.  Andrew was a big flirt, and it tended to make Stephen a little insecure.

Sighing, I jumped up and made my way as fast as my high heels would carry me back through the reception and out of the main door.  By some minor miracle, I managed to get there without falling over.  I looked at the cobbles and groaned, reaching down to pull my shoes off before taking off again, slipping on the cold stones but managing to stay upright.  By this time, Stephen had reached the car and was climbing into the driver’s seat.

I picked up the pace, still convinced I could reach him in time, but it was too late.  The engine started, and the car sped out of the exit as I stared after it, hoping he’d eventually realise he needed to turn on the lights.

I turned to make my way back to the party when, all at once, the strangest feeling came over me. I felt as though I was being watched.

All the sounds of the party seemed suddenly muted, and I realised how dark and secluded the car park actually was.  Cold chills ran up my back and the hairs on my neck stood to attention.   I turned in a slow circle, trying to see if anyone was out there.

The last thing I remember clearly was the stench of decay burning into my nostrils.

That’s when the first punch landed in my stomach.

Buy now - The Last Challenge – (Northern Witches Series Book 1)

Books by Sharon Karaa

The Last Challenge – (Northern Witches Series Book 1)

I thought I was normal, I really did, aside from the fact I had a penchant for naming the many facets of my personality.  I was unlucky, I’ll grant you, but other than that, just your average twenty-five year old virgin.

Then my long dead ancestor turned up with a four-hundred year appetite, a passion for G-strings, and a scorching hot, male witch in tow.

Throw in an unadulterated bitch of a familiar, three spirits baying for my blood, a six inch tall Geordie man, and my best friend Selina, and before you could say “bubble, bubble” I was strapped onto the front of the roller coaster of my life, heading straight to Hell in a hand basket.

And the brakes were shot to pieces…

A Familiar Problem – (Northern Witches Series Book 2)

Let me give you a word of advice, be careful what you wish for. Trust me, I’m a demon, I know these things.

So how did I end up being a familiar? It wasn't easy, I can tell you! Making it snow in Hell was just the start of it. And where did it get me? Earth, that's where, and I'll tell you now, compared to Hell, it's... well, hellish!

Saved by a posse of witches, I made myself a new home, with friends (yes, believe it or not, demons can have friends!), but would my new life be enough for me or was there more I was missing? Life on earth seemed to be pretty damn boring at times.

Then along came two of the sexiest males a girl could ever dream of. The problem? One was an angel, and the other was a demon.

Life was just about to get complicated.

What Goes Around

Selina McKenzie used to be a nice girl, always ready to lend a hand and always willing to put others before herself. So what caused her to become a raging banshee on a mission to destroy all men? Well... not all, just those caught with their trousers down, so to speak, in places where they shouldn't be.

Forces beyond her control are taking over her, making her do unspeakable things.  Unfortunately the wicked spells she casts are also coming back at her threefold and she’s now shadowed by one Hell of an Angel who isn’t impressed with her antics.  Can she dodge the bullets long enough to find out who or what is behind it all?

Bite The Big One!

He told me he was a gardener; a landscape gardener, no less. Not once did me mention “slash vampire slayer”. I’m pretty sure if he had, the sexy eyes and bulging biceps wouldn’t have looked quite so appealing.   Mind you, who was I to talk?

When I was a child, I wanted to be a ballet dancer, or a gymnast, or even a swordfish (admittedly I was suffering from hallucinations brought on by a fever at the time). I never, ever, in my wildest moments, thought that when I grew up, I’d be the chronicle of the dead. Nor would I have wanted to. The dead don’t keep office hours and certainly don’t respect your privacy when you’re on the loo. And they don’t pay. I had to resort to selling sex aids to geriatrics just to keep a roof over my head.

On the plus side, I was never out of work. There was always a queue of them (the dead that is, not geriatrics). Wherever you turned they were there, waiting their turn, wanting to pass on the messages they hadn’t had the forethought to pass on before they did. But someone didn’t want one of the messages to be delivered. Someone who wasn’t entirely in the land of the living themselves. Someone who was willing to go to extreme lengths to shut me up.

On top of all that, I had to spend my days dodging the ill-conceived spells my best friend cast in her quest to ensure I achieved the ultimate in sexual satisfaction (my advice? Don’t tell your friend if you’ve never had a Big O, especially if she’s a witch!). And now my dog’s back-answering me as well. As if I didn’t have enough to cope with, what with my father’s mid-life crisis and being stalked by said vampire slayer.

Someone give me fate’s address… I feel a strongly worded letter coming on!

About the Author

Sharon Karaa is a mass of contradictions but two facets of her character have always battled for supremacy; her logical self (let’s call him Frank, he’s male, I know that makes no sense but hey, this is my story!) and her artistic side (lets her call Misty).  Until recently, Frank won every battle, forcing Sharon into a life based on most probable outcome, and to give him his credit, it has led to a fairly comfortable, if rather boring life so far. Then Misty took up kick boxing and gave Frank a good kick in the goodies.

Sharon is a full time IT professional from the North East of England, a place where you have to dig deep to find the magic, but it’s there!

To get all the latest news and

details of special discounts

and freebies

Click here to join Sharon Karaa’s Mailing List

Visit Sharon’s Website

Join Sharon on Facebook

Join Sharon on Twitter

Copyright

This ebook edition published 2014 Copyright © Sharon Karaa.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Table of Contents

About the Book

Dedication

Contents

1 – Look Who’s Talking

2 – Sexy in the City

3 – Man on the Run

4 – Must Love Dogs

5 – We Are Family

6 – We Don’t Need Another Hero

7 – Under Attack

8 – Little White Lies

9 – You Only Die Twice

10 – Bad Boys

11 – After Dark

12 – Running for Home

13 – Sleeping Beauty

14 – Dinner with Drac

15 – Keep On Running

16 – A Good Year For The Roses

17 – Just A Walk In The Park

Dear reader….

1 - Something spooky this way comes

Books by Sharon Karaa

About the Author

Copyright